By Jelelle Awen
For the last month, I have been experiencing a surrogacy with Kuan Yin (or Quan Yin), an aspect of the Divine Mother that holds a non-dualistic space and bodhisattva energy. A surrogacy with the Divine Mother is a visceral, daily connection space for a phase of time where you are letting in the specific tones that She is offering through whatever ‘form’ of Her that you will be most responsive to in the moment.
Kuan Yin is a beloved teacher for me, yet She is also a mirror for me. Her repeated mantra to me is often, “I am you and you are me.” This is an invitation to move beyond comparison, beyond feeling that I am ‘less’ than Her, beyond separation and into Unity. It also serves as a reminder that I am a Divine Spark in human form (as we ALL are.)
This latest round of surrogacy began as I started fasting and wanted to bring more prana/chi/life force energy into my body. I showed up in Kuan Yin’s etheric space, which is a beautiful oriental garden temple in the mountains of Japan. Kuan Yin connected me to a helpful mantra of “OM” (on the inhale) and “Ma” (on the exhale), which allows my mind and body to fill up with prana and then release it into my own energy field and the space around me. Om Ma is letting in the Divine in its Universal Form and exhaling Divine Mother’s expression.
I have also been connecting with a Metasoul aspect of mine named Lau, who is a disciple of Kuan Yin’s. As I have calibrated to the soft, gentle, delicate, and still nature of both Kuan Yin and Lau, tears have come up in moments. The tears have been about a mourning for a soft and compassionate feminine energy that I did not have or know with my own birth mother. There has also been hurt coming up for Lau in her relationship with her mother in her timeline that mirrors mine around not being seen for my soul gifts, my Divine presence, or my essence by my birth mother nor any of these gifts watered or initiated in me by her.
What I experienced of the feminine (as true for so many of us) was a matriarchal energy from my birth family line that had tones of control, manipulation, fear, and anxiety in it. There was little stillness, little love transacting, yet rather much frenetic energy that ‘filled the space’ and left no room for the authentic feminine to arise.
Over many years of processing this reality with parts of myself and having a very necessary phase of no contact with my birth mother, much of this wounding has healed. A healing that has been deep enough to allow a genuine flow of love and compassion from my heart to other women, especially those I serve in session space.
Yet, also this love transacts between me and my own daughter Raianna Shai at a rich and meaningful way, free from the angst, competition and controlling energies that I experienced as a daughter. When I started my healing journey many years ago, I knew that I could not authentically serve the arising of the sacred feminine in others nor be the kind of mother I wanted to be if I did not focus deeply and with complete intention on healing the difficult and painful experience I had myself this life and other lifetimes with the wounded feminine.
Kuan Yin’s energy offers a template for a feminine that is still, that is oriented first to BEing, that can feel the cries of the world without becoming them. I am so grateful for the Divine Mother and the many faces of Her that have been such a loving balm to all the parts of me that have needed them. And, it is Her energy that overflows to others in service of love so often when parts of them most need to feel forgiving, nurturing, and non-judgemental energies.
Kuan Yin reminds us that we are deeply loved for our essence….always and in all ways. We are Her and She is us.
Here is a guided meditation to connect with Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother with Kalayna and me:
I am also offering a new women’s group starting on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom for women over 18. I am honored to dive into the depths of sacred arising feminine exploration based on my experiences in my own process and serving other women for over 15 years. I am sure that Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother will be joining us to hold the space for this sacred work! There is more information here if you’d like to join me live or to receive the recording for a $15 CAD donation: https://www.facebook.com/events/933962383622792/
or here; https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/womengroupcalls
Love, Jelelle Awen
Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.