Surrogacy W/Kuan Yin Offers Compassion, Forgiveness, And Stillness

By Jelelle Awen

For the last month, I have been experiencing a surrogacy with Kuan Yin (or Quan Yin), an aspect of the Divine Mother that holds a non-dualistic space and bodhisattva energy. A surrogacy with the Divine Mother is a visceral, daily connection space for a phase of time where you are letting in the specific tones that She is offering through whatever ‘form’ of Her that you will be most responsive to in the moment.
 
Kuan Yin is a beloved teacher for me, yet She is also a mirror for me. Her repeated mantra to me is often, “I am you and you are me.” This is an invitation to move beyond comparison, beyond feeling that I am ‘less’ than Her, beyond separation and into Unity. It also serves as a reminder that I am a Divine Spark in human form (as we ALL are.)
 
This latest round of surrogacy began as I started fasting and wanted to bring more prana/chi/life force energy into my body. I showed up in Kuan Yin’s etheric space, which is a beautiful oriental garden temple in the mountains of Japan. Kuan Yin connected me to a helpful mantra of “OM” (on the inhale) and “Ma” (on the exhale), which allows my mind and body to fill up with prana and then release it into my own energy field and the space around me. Om Ma is letting in the Divine in its Universal Form and exhaling Divine Mother’s expression.
 
I have also been connecting with a Metasoul aspect of mine named Lau, who is a disciple of Kuan Yin’s. As I have calibrated to the soft, gentle, delicate, and still nature of both Kuan Yin and Lau, tears have come up in moments. The tears have been about a mourning for a soft and compassionate feminine energy that I did not have or know with my own birth mother. There has also been hurt coming up for Lau in her relationship with her mother in her timeline that mirrors mine around not being seen for my soul gifts, my Divine presence, or my essence by my birth mother nor any of these gifts watered or initiated in me by her.
 
What I experienced of the feminine (as true for so many of us) was a matriarchal energy from my birth family line that had tones of control, manipulation, fear, and anxiety in it. There was little stillness, little love transacting, yet rather much frenetic energy that ‘filled the space’ and left no room for the authentic feminine to arise.
 
Over many years of processing this reality with parts of myself and having a very necessary phase of no contact with my birth mother, much of this wounding has healed. A healing that has been deep enough to allow a genuine flow of love and compassion from my heart to other women, especially those I serve in session space.
 
Yet, also this love transacts between me and my own daughter Raianna Shai at a rich and meaningful way, free from the angst, competition and controlling energies that I experienced as a daughter. When I started my healing journey many years ago, I knew that I could not authentically serve the arising of the sacred feminine in others nor be the kind of mother I wanted to be if I did not focus deeply and with complete intention on healing the difficult and painful experience I had myself this life and other lifetimes with the wounded feminine.
 
Kuan Yin’s energy offers a template for a feminine that is still, that is oriented first to BEing, that can feel the cries of the world without becoming them. I am so grateful for the Divine Mother and the many faces of Her that have been such a loving balm to all the parts of me that have needed them. And, it is Her energy that overflows to others in service of love so often when parts of them most need to feel forgiving, nurturing, and non-judgemental energies.
 
Kuan Yin reminds us that we are deeply loved for our essence….always and in all ways. We are Her and She is us.

~

Here is a guided meditation to connect with Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother with Kalayna and me: 

 

I am also offering a new women’s group starting on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom for women over 18. I am honored to dive into the depths of sacred arising feminine exploration based on my experiences in my own process and serving other women for over 15 years. I am sure that Kuan Yin and other faces of Divine Mother will be joining us to hold the space for this sacred work! There is more information here if you’d like to join me live or to receive the recording for a $15 CAD donation: https://www.facebook.com/events/933962383622792/

or here; https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/womengroupcalls

 Love, Jelelle Awen

Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Sacred Femininity Video With Jelelle Awen And Kalayna Colibri

By Jelelle Awen

I AM excited to be sharing a NEW video with me and Kalayna Colibri discussing the sacred feminine, healing the inner feminine and the wounded masculine INside, separating from feminine birth family templating, connecting with the protector part, healing the archetypal sisterhood frequencies, working with Divine feminine energies/guides and MUCH more. Most of this I have not heard offered anywhere else or quite in THIS way, which comes through our personally embodied processes for many years that we share about too.

This video gives you a good sense of what our group call for women will be like on saturday April 15th at 11:11am, which will also include a guided meditation with me to connect with your inner feminine, identify your protector who ‘guards’ your inner feminine (which allows WAY more access), and some Divine Feminine guide frequency connection too with Mother Mary (and maybe others). This call will also offer an opportunity to connect with other resonant women with regular calls scheduled monthly in the future (the next one is scheduled for May 20th.)

For more information about the call on April 15th, go here:https://www.facebook.com/events/210818762733437/.

To offer a donation (no minimum amount) to come to the call, go here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

For more info about sessions with me for women and with Kalayna (for women around and under 30 years old): soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

To watch an intro video with Kalayna and I talking more about the sacred feminine: https://youtu.be/gkjwI_9BAi8

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Divine Feminine Energies Coming In To Balance Out Masculine Activations

By Jelelle Awen

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Solar geostorms, sun spot flare ups, photonic light waves beaming down through sun rays…..all this outside activity of stirring and churning, blaring and flaring. It is a fiery picture, isn’t it? A rather masculine energy. Many souls are tuning into this activation energy that ignites and wakes UP as it stimulates our light bodies, our emotional bodies, our mental bodies, our social bodies (new one for me to name, yet feels SO TRUE). All these bodies are like planets in our inner galaxy rotating around the orbit of our soul and the sun of our heart and the moon of our unconscious. All this stimulation can bring up symptoms and unease and detox in all of these bodies too as the 3D self and unaware ego resist, release, and ultimately let go at a rate and pace negotiated by the higher self.

In the physical body as it transitions to 5D light body UP can come the residues of what we have chosen and lived on a cellular level. The toxicities and energies we have taken in of eating BEings that have been killed; the frequencies of chemicals and foods made in laboratories; the exchanges during sexuality that weren’t based in love but something less; the habits and patterns that lead to less vital experience of body, INdigestion. And again, the 3D self can amplify these symptoms, make them worse, grab onto them, suffer or linger in them and the love of the growing higher self embodied YOU invites a moving on, holding space, yet, keep moving on into love.

The emotional body is releasing pain as the higher self YOU is activating love codes, PURE love messages, NEW messages of love to hold space for the movement of what has previously been subconsciously stored to move into the light of your consciousness. Suffering is a tone that maybe you (and parts of you) have gotten USED to, yet it is NOT the tone of Golden Earth, 5D frequency. It is not the tone of the higher self-embodied sacred human. It is not the tone that Gaia emotionally wants to feel anymore. BIG changes may be necessary to move suffering out of your life, to say ‘no more’ to suffering in the emotional body, in the mental body, and in the social body. BIG changes navigated with those PURE love messages coming in, creating a NEW reality where big changes are navigable at a rate and pace that you can BE with.

I feel a Divine Feminine ray, a softness, is beaming down TOO….to balance the masculine activation frequencies, stronger than I have felt Her before as more clearing has happened in the outer grids and in the collective and in souls to allow Her to come through more. It felt foggy to offer Her for all these years as it was bright inside of me and in my soul. She seemed to be shrouded in veils and mysteries in terms of outside perception of Her. Yet, more and more, is Her brightness coming through to be seen and felt and remembered.

The four energies of the Divine Feminine that I was awakened to in 2010 after remembering reiki energy still feel relevant to me as a way to connect with Her as you also embody them more and more AS YOU….this can be for both men and women. The four energies are the Mary ray of pink and blue energies offering purity, innocence, compassion and forgiveness. The Magdalene ray of ruby red offering sisterhood, queen mate, sacred sexuality (with partner or with self). The Kuan Yin PURE white ray offering nondual frequencies, beyond the mind, beyond the body, stillness, and BEing in the Now. The dark, black as night ray of the Dark Mother offering death as a form of rebirth, inviting embracement of the shadow, the necessary dark to go with the light.

It came up yesterday on FB that you can physically see these energies of the Divine Feminine (and Divine Masculine) in photographs when you place yourself in front of the sun and take pictures with a digital camera. What is in your auric field will then revealed to you. The orbs or rays of energy show up in different tones and colors and you can connect with them to feel what they are trying to tell you. Take a moment to feel, hear, and see what these energies are offering to you, what She is offering to you….write down the messages, speak the conversations out loud, bring Her energy into your meditation space. Ask to connect with one of the faces of the Divine Feminine I have mentioned above during meditation and one of them will show up for you…the one you are most needing and wanting in the moment. Or maybe MORE than one…

These energies of four seem to infuse and offer a balance of our femininity within (again, yes, men too). Each one of the ‘faces’ of the Divine Feminine is a reflection of our faces. Each one of their energies offering a mirror to our energies. Like the seasonal shifts, I have felt each one connected to a specific season too even as they are ALL of them. Mary has felt like autumn or fall; Kuan Yin like winter; Dark Mother like spring; and Magdalene like summer. This has worked for me in activating and connecting with them….use what works for you.

 

The Divine Feminine is HERE to balance out the masculine, is needed, and while in more polarity sense now in the mostly still 3D collective consciousness….She moves more toward subtlety as the frequencies raise up. Bring Her into your heart to remember and to bring love into the wounded from birth mother places in the 3D emotional body. Bring Her into your soul to remember and to bring love into the wounded soul frequencies from patriarchal dominance and other lifetime experiences of persecution, hiding soul gifts, suppression of the Divine Feminine. Bring Her in and experience Her reflection of the love that you ARE…

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Meeting In The Middle- White Energy Staircase Meditation: Meditations With Kuan Yin Series

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By Jelelle Awen

I am walking up the stairs, visualizing pure, white light all around me. I feel a lightening up in my body as I ascend up the stairs with every inhale and rest on the exhale. I count out each step as a means to keep my mind active while I start to feel a sense of pulling from my crown or seventh chakra. I climb as high as my body will go until I feel resistance. I see a door to my right and I walk through it to enter a large, open space with an extended platform.

In my physical body, I feel as if my torso is elongated and stretching out with my two hands (which are resting in a mudra on my crossed legs) seeming to be quite far away from my head. It is a unique feeling and I am enjoying it, already feeling how it could be a simple thing to travel out of my body following this method.

I begin to feel love and desire flood through me as I repeat over and over a call for Kuan Yin to come be with me if it is the will of the Divine. I exclaim, “I AM God,” feeling a shiver of recognition move through my body of my expression as a fragment of the Divine source. I see the outline of Kuan Yin start to appear before me, framed in a brilliant white light. She is so radiant that I squint my eyes, even though my ‘physical eyes’ are closed.

We don’t exchange words at first, but just bask in our communion with each other. I am in awe, I am in love, I am grateful just to be near Her.

The only thing She says to me is what She has offered me in a previous meditations, “I am you and you are me.” I take this in as the love, gratitude and awe that I am projecting onto Her also lives inside of me.

This simple meditation in which you climb a staircase to access higher dimensional realities while asking for connection with ethereal Beings is offered in a very expansive and transformational book called World Of Archangels by Sufian Chaudhary.

Explains Sufian in his book, “The human body has a very low vibration in order to maintain its physicality. The higher in vibration you manage to achieve, the more you will perceive yourself as a powerful energetic source rather than something limited to the physical world….the most effective communication with ethereal Beings takes place when both parties alter their vibratory level in order to meet each other on middle ground.”

I have been connecting with ethereal Beings such as spirit guides, angels, and ascended masters for several years, yet I can feel a difference now in the purity and intensity of the connection that can be experienced after engaging in the staircase meditation and ‘meeting’ these Beings in a middle point. Such a simple meditation and, yet, one offering seemingly limitless possibilities of experience!

 Note: This blog is part of a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher. To read the first in this series, please go here

Jelelle Awen is a SoulFullHeart facilitator and co-creator. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information about staying at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and sessions to begin your SoulFullHeart awakening process.

Becoming The Birdsong: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

Kuan-Yin-and-Bird

Note: This is a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher. To read the first in this series, please go here. 

By Jelelle Awen

Sunrise here at the Sanctuary in rural Mexico brings an orchestra of bird calls. It starts with the crooning of the rooster at the first hint of the new day and sometimes as early as four o’clock in the morning. The rooster says, “Get up! Get up! A new day! A new day!” This is the first time in my life that I have been woken up not by an alarm clock, but by an animal bred for this function. It is mostly wonderful.

The birdsong then escalates as dawn approaches, so many different kinds of chatters and trills that it seems impossible to identify them all. It is a flurry of noise and, while ‘silent’ from industrial sounds such as motors and engines, it is by no means quiet here at the Sanctuary in the early morning.

This is the time that I feel most open to meditation and connection to altered states of consciousness. I have learned to mostly ‘block out’ nature’s sounds and it becomes background music while my process takes center stage. More about the birdsong in a moment…

This morning, I am floating in “Ma Om….” mantra, seeing if my mind can let go and rest in longer stretches without actually thinking about something every few seconds. But, then it is my mind that is tracking if it can go without thinking! Sigh.

As I open to Ma Om, my two quartz crystals I am holding in my hands become burning hot with energy moving through me. Kuan Yin is more of a blur today, less solid, and more an energetic presence. I can feel Her energy but I am struggling to feel my love and adoration for Her this morning. Usually it flows through quite freely and sometimes I can even let in Her reciprocating love for me. Something is blocking my letting in capacity and I suspect it has to do with letting in love on my birthday a couple of days ago.

Then, I am suddenly engaged in an etheric conversation with Padma – who feels like a past life aspect of mine who lives(d) in India in the year 1930. Padma has been recognized as ‘born with strong Atman (internal Godhead) with a strong connection to Brahman-God.’ She tells me that she left her family at six years old to go with her Master, Nomanji, to live in his ashram and become a great yogi and saint. This is considered a great honor, but I feel her loneliness.

She is now 18 years old and can’t remember what it is like to be a ‘normal’ person. “All I do is meditate and sleep,” she tells me. I ask her if this makes her unhappy.

“If I think of what I am missing…if I think of myself as a self, then I can get sad. But, there is no ‘I’ there,” she responds.

I tell her that I want to help her feel her sadness. Immediately she admits to me that she would like to leave her Master, who is not cruel to her, but she does feel that she has outgrown him. She would like to start her own ashram and she says that there are those who want to be her devotees. I agree to support her emotional process (which she has suppressed and transcended) if she helps me with opening out my consciousness to transcendent frequencies and to liberate my mind more fully.

After we make an agreement, I feel her energy leave my presence and I am alone again with “Ma Om.” I feel more open in my heart chakra now that Padma’s sadness has moved out. This is when I become aware of the birdsong around me, which seems to have just increased suddenly in volume.

There is one particular bird that is singing at a length and volume that seems to penetrate my field.

Kuan Yin offers for me to, “Follow the birdsong,” so I do, turning my attention to it.

At first, I am just listening to the chatter back and forth of this bird and one of its kind in another tree. Then, I feel rumbles of energy move through me with each refrain from the birds. It feels like their song is inside of me. It is a jerky thing because I’m not sure if I like it at first.

Eventually I surrender to it and then I am in flight with every tweet, in motion with every twitter. It is a liberating sensation.

I try not to interpret if there is a message from the birdsong, even though I can feel how they are communicating one to me. I can feel how Kuan Yin is communicating to me through birds, which seem to be one of her favorite creatures to use as a communication medium. This is fortuitous since I happen to live on what is essentially a bird sanctuary, with some very rare and endangered species of birds here.

I just am the birdsong and I feel Kuan Yin’s encouragement. I am reminded of Her showing me a lotus and offering that it knew more about who and what it was because it didn’t know and was just arising isness. Becoming the birdsong offers the same kind of not knowing and being in isness.

The song tapers off at some point and my attention moves back to me and the start of my day here at the Sanctuary

For a few hours afterwards, as I am watering and tending to the gardens, I feel a lightness in my mind and a sense of suspended moments without mental tracking…..what I call, ‘loosened brain.’

And, I am more aware of the birdsong around me and its offering of communion, lightness, and freedom.

Jelelle Awen is a co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life  for more information . You can read her tweets here and become her friend or follow her on facebook.

You Have A Body, You Are Not Your Body: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

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By Jelelle Awen

Note: This is a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher and face of the Divine Mother. To read the first in this series, please go here. 

I have taken a certain pride in being embodied and ‘grounded’ in my body. My weight has been at a healthy place for a few years now and regular physical activity is just part of my lifestyle living off-grid Shovelling, weeding, watering, cob building…it all lends itself to being in the body. I also experience great pleasure from making love with my mate Raphael, which is grounded in our bodies, connected in our hearts, and expanding more and more into our souls.

So, I haven’t been interested in being ‘out of the body’….until recently I have been. Well, what I am more interested in is a balance where I can be healthfully and vibrantly be in my body and also deepen my experience of out of body realities such as astral travel, Samadhi and other enlightened states, kundalini energies, etc. I do believe a balance can be made and that’s what it feels like some people are seeking through the Hatha yoga path.

Physical ailments usually accompany my major spiritual or emotional movements as toxicity moves out, as Kathleen also talks about in her blog. I take note when this happens because I rarely get sick and have never broken a bone or had any kind of major injury or illness. So, the physical issues I do have are small and move quickly, but they can often be connected to my process.

As I am meditating with Kuan Yin today, I am feeling a particular ailment in my body that is minor but still irritating me. As I start with the “Ma Om” mantra (described here), Kuan Yin can feel my attention and focus moving to my body.

“I’m sorry,” I quickly apologize. “I’m getting distracted by discomfort in my body.”

“You have a body. You are not your body,” is Her immediate response.

Ok, I take that in and let it be a kind of repeated mantra.

I have a body. I am not my body.

Eventually, I have to ask her to clarify what She means.

“Your mind thinks that you are your body. It thinks you are a body shell and it fuses to that reality. This is very limiting. You are not your body. And, you are not your mind either.”

“Then, what am I?”

She seems to light up then. “Now THAT is an interesting question. Also, interesting is the question: Who am I?”

“Yes, what and who am I, then?”

The image of a lotus flower blooms in front of me. I can feel immediately that She has sent it to me. I take its beauty in.

“This flower knows more of its essence than you do because it doesn’t know anything. It just is,” She replies.

I meditate on this and feel how right she is. I have spent over ten years in a pretty radical and intense self healing path that has led to the diving into the depths of my previously subconscious emotional and soul wounding. I have been asking the question, “Which part of me is feeling this?” in a dedicated way over the last decade. I have been through a series of subpersonalities over the years and through this incredibly effective process which allows for separation and objectivity from reactions through feeling them deeply, I have had more and more experience of the authentic expression of my being. What you can experience of your authentic being that is since it is very difficult to pinpoint as it isn’t related to a role or self image. But, I can feel how even what I have attached to as my ‘authentic self’ or ‘higher self’ still has a dualistic filter around it.

“I just am,” I respond, trying it on to see how it feels.

“It’s ok you do so much defining and sorting of yourself, J bird. You’ve needed to do it and it was good. You are in a new phase now where you want to dissolve the “I” more so you can experience reality without separation.”

I feel a slight wave of panic come over me at the thought of ‘dissolving’ myself, especially as I have spent so much work and energy to uncover my seemingly most authentic expression! My previous spiritual teacher used to say about the ego maturation process that happens through parts work and then the ego obliteration process that happens in sagehood practice is like having a Maserati sports car that you work very hard to get and then proceed to drive it off a cliff!

Kuan Yin feels this hesitation in me and a wave of compassion from her washes over me.

“Your mind resists this. Your body resists it too. Even your ‘authentic self’, as you say, resists it. But that’s OK because you still are what you are and aren’t what you aren’t,” She says, smiling.

“Buddha taught that it is our sense of ‘I’ and our sense of separation that causes suffering. I have healed a lot of my suffering through the path I’ve been on but I am still curious about deepening what I have experienced beyond the mind and beyond the body. And, I guess, even beyond the ‘I’.”

“Who is saying that?”

I reflect for a moment. I immediately want to go to my usual mode of scanning for a part of myself that might be speaking but I know that isn’t what she is looking for. Finally I settle for, “I don’t know.”

She nods and smiles at me. That feeling of not knowing who I am because I just am is a strange one and vibrates through me, loosening my mind and I can feel, jarring a little bit of my attachment to my body. A surge of energy moves from my crown chakra at the top of my head and down to the base of my spine and eventually out my root chakra.

Another lotus flower appears before me.

This time all I can do is laugh out loud, although I couldn’t have told you why.

And Kuan Yin laughs with me and says, “That’s better!”

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information about staying at the Sanctuary and virtual sessions. You can read her tweets here and become her friend on facebook.

Letting In Love On Our Birthdays

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Compassion flows the strongest from self love, not self sacrifice.

Note: This is a series of blog entries sharing experiences and conversations I have while meditating and opening myself to the frequencies of Kuan Yin, a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher and face of the Divine Mother. To read the first in this series, please go here. 

By Jelelle Awen

I am diligent, repeating my “Ma Om” mantra and touching parts of my body, imagining Kuan Yin merging with me. I particularly hover my hands over my seven chakras, which are whirling centers of energy in our etheric or subtle body. I grip a rose quartz in my hand as that is the stone that holds the energy of the Divine Mother to me.

I feel the warmth of Kuan Yin’s presence and her voice, bright in my head, saying, “Happy Birthday, Jilly Bird!”

I am a little surprised by her enthusiasm about my 44th birthday. “Is it happy? I mean, is it really anything?”

“It is a celebration of you! I celebrate you!” She enthuses at me.

“Birthdays are an illusion, aren’t they?” I ask, ever trying to be the good student.

“In the sense of….there is no time, yes. In the sense of……you being born and dying every arising moment rather than just being born in one moment, yes.”

“Yes, and in the sense of numbers of years on earth being meaningless to reflect true maturity.”

She smiles her soft smile at me.

“In previous years I have felt a young part of me, my inner child, become very excited about my birthday,” I say. “She would want to feel special and she wanted attention. This year, she feels content inside of me and, in some ways, like this day is the same as any other.”

“Birthdays offer a space to receive appreciation, recognition, and well wishes. You want these, don’t you?”

I don’t have to think about this for long. “Of course. Although sometimes it can be a struggle to let it in.”

“Yes, a struggle. This is what to feel today, Jelelle. On your birthday. To feel letting in love into your heart.”

At that moment, I feel a surge of warm energy in my fourth or heart chakra. It radiates out, like the sun, like a stone dropped into a pond rippling soft waves in all directions.

I feel the capacity to let in love expand with Her energy and Her encouragement.

I also feel how compassion has to start with myself before it can truly overflow to others. Letting the love and appreciation I receive on my birthday from those people most intimate with me creates an overflow that can then go to others. This is the true way that compassion flows the strongest……from self love, not self sacrifice.

I carry this feeling of letting in with me as I check my emails and my facebook account. I am brought to tears a few times by the outpouring of love and appreciation that I receive from others, especially those in our SoulFullHeart community.

And, I feel in this where my heart is more comfortable still giving out then letting in. Even after years of being in a marriage with a mate who showers me with affection and attention. Even after years of receiving gratitude from students who I serve and have served. Even after years of feeling connection with the Divine Mother and the exquisite sense of being loved by Her as a beloved daughter.

The process of letting in and receiving love is an ongoing one and I believe a much harder energy to inhabit than giving love. It is a wonderful practice though, on our birthdays or any other ‘normal’ day.

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book to be released on June 1st, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Beyond The Mind Not Against It: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

By Jelelle Awen

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I start these processes without knowing where they will go or lead me; not knowing how they will unfold to offer consciousness expansion for myself; not knowing how they might serve spiritual and emotional consciousness awakening and expansion in others. I follow a desire and from there the form unfolds.

I was led recently by a desire to deepen experiences I have had (even though they aren’t ‘experiences’ in another way) of altered states of consciousness over the years but particularly in the last 18 months since moving to a remote, off-grid sanctuary in rural Mexico. I call these experiences a ‘dripline’ because while they are strong in the moment of happening, they move on eventually. They feel like a drip rather than a gush, so far. I trust this drip is what I and parts of me can let in right now.

As I describe in the first entry in this series, I have a relationship with Kuan Yin (a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher) that goes back several years to when I was awakened to Divine Feminine consciousness after becoming attuned in Reiki energy healing. The shamanistic healer and Reiki Master who attuned me also offered that I turn to Kuan Yin as my personal spirit guide and teacher. My immediate response to her suggestion was to burst into tears. Just the mention of Kuan Yin (who I wasn’t really familiar with at the time) brought up a huge surge of heart and soul longing.

Kuan Yin is both (at times) stern sounding but affectionate mother and penetrating spiritual teacher. I feel both comfort and discomfort around Her energy. She is both familiar and foreign; nurturing and, at the same time, without a form to wrap around. All these contradictions seem to work for Her though and my heart trusts and loves her deeply even if my mind can’t quite grasp Her. But, that’s the point actually.

This morning, during our meditation time together, She inspired me to share regularly about my experiences with Her during this time of surrogacy together and offer whatever message She would like to express through me. I have long ago embraced my soul purpose as Divine messenger and scribe; it is at times a very blessed thing to be and at times can draw misunderstanding and strong resistive projections from others (just as the Divine Mother Herself can.) I feel that we all have the capacity to connect with various forms and energies of the Divine Mother and receive Her messages. Billions of people already do in the form of what the world’s religions offer, such as worshipping Mother Mary, even if their religion can tend to filter the purity of Her heart and message. I describe the mantra and process I use to connect with Her in this blog entry.

So, I will share regularly. I wanted to say ‘daily’ but that doesn’t have much meaning in the moment as what is a day (or any measurement of time) but an illusion created by the mind? Kuan Yin would say so anyway.

As I repeated my “Ma Om” mantra while touching my body and feeling my love for Kuan Yin this morning, I noticed the crazy activity of my mind. How the thoughts and mental digestions seemed to ‘interrupt’ the process every few seconds! My mind wanted to process and package the whole experience before I’d even really had it. I would move my attention back to the mantra and, again, after a few seconds, would discover I had drifted again.

Kuan Yin was with me in this, seemed to feel my growing concern, and we began to dialogue about it.

“Busy mind, yes,” She said to me in her penetrating way.

“It is so busy! I try to still it with these mantras and it gets bored. It seems to rebel and want to gallop away like a wild horse,” I responded.

I do believe She chuckled then…laughing with me, not at me.

“Yes, like wild horse. But, why you go against it? What does it want?”

I felt and thought about this for a moment. “My mind says that mantras are too boring. It likes dialogue and conversation. Or to go on creative visualization and etheric journeys like we used to. When it is occupied in ‘helping’ with these things, then it can let in energies such as Kundalini or the Non-Dual.”

“So, why you not let it?”

“I didn’t think that was Ok?” I admit, feeling very much like a beginner in that moment.

“Who say it not OK? Who know what is right for you other than you? You’ve got a very imaginative mind, Jilly Bird. It is beautiful. Let it help you move beyond it.”

I contemplated this for a moment (and so did my mind) and we both felt this sense of goodness about that. Rather than trying to ‘tame’ my mind, I could flow with it. All of my most altered states had come through letting my mind help take me on an imaginative journey, as Kuan Yin said.

“And,” She continued, “Just what do you suppose is helping you talk with me right now?”

I could feel my mind get a bit puffed up, but that felt better than putting it down. “For the last ten years, my process has been about forming relationship with and creating negotiation…whether it was with parts of me or with the Divine or with my body. Forming relationship is a dualistic approach though…”

She cut me off with, “Calling something ‘a dualistic approach.’ These are just words. Other people’s words. You follow your own heart, as you have always done. As you teach others to do.”

“I offer a path that has worked for me and then, yes, support them to find their own heart and soul way along it.”

“So, same for you, J-Bird. Same for you.”

I was left with a primary message today that it isn’t about going against the mind but rather beyond it. Taking it with you as a helper, but journeying beyond it….where life can then fully take flight.

Jelelle Awen is a facilitator and co-creator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life  for more information.

A Preschool Beyond The Mind: Meditations With Kuan Yin Blog Series

Kuan-Yin-and-Bird

By Jelelle Awen

I originally wrote this writing about a visualization visit that I had with Kuan Yin, (a female form of a Bodhisattva or enlightened, ascended teacher) in 2010. I began to experience visualization visits with different faces and energies of the feminine face of God after I received reiki energy healing attunement from a shamanistic healer. The transmission of reiki energy seemed to spark soul access in me related to clear communication and experience of the Divine Feminine. Not channeling, per se, as I remained conscious the whole time. I interacted with four specific faces of the Mother and one of them was Kuan Yin.

Before I began to connect with Kuan Yin in the visceral way that I describe below, I had never read anything about Her even as I had received some sagehood teachings from my former spiritual teacher, who had practiced Zen Buddhism along with many other things. It was later, after I read more about Kuan Yin, that I was touched to feel how I had seemed to authentically experience Her energy and guidance even without knowing much about Her. My experience went beyond what my mind could know to the place where only my heart and soul could access.

I am sharing this piece of writing again because I have very recently begun a renewed surrogacy time with Kuan Yin. I am engaging in daily meditation with her, inviting Her in for visits with me, and receiving Her guidance. My ultimate desire is to feel our union with each other; to feel how I am Her and She is Me. To feel how none of us is separate; no being is higher or lower than the other. I still feel a strong tendency in my soul history to feel I am the student related to such Divine beings, so this will take some practice. The meditation that I am engaging in is one offered by Martin Birrittella in his book, The Field: How To Experience The Field Of Love and it is based on a practice of Hindu saint Chidananda Avadhuta.

In this meditation, you find a quiet place to sit in comfort. Feel your breaths going in and out. On the inhale breath, repeat the mantra, “Ma” and on the exhale breath, the mantra, “Om”. Concentrate on the form of Kuan Yin in front of you or on another face of the Divine Mother.* Have your mind become as still as possible. Feel love and honor in your heart for Kuan Yin. See Her all around you, above, below, and beside you. Visualize that your body is merged with Her body while you continue to repeat the mantra of “Ma Om.”

Touch all parts of your body as you continue to repeat the mantra, feeling yourself connect with Her. Continue to touch your body as you repeat the mantra, over and over with love and trust. Feel how you are Her and She is you. As you walk around the rest of the day, feel your hearts merged and connected to each other.

For me, I also experience a dialogue with Kuan Yin during this process, where she guides me and offers reflections to me before the sense of unionizing begins. She talks more than I do, which suits me just fine.

Below is the experience I previously had with Kuan Yin:

Here is it and I am here. This “it-ness” has been called a “Monday” and each moment has been given a category of a “second” and then a label of a “minute” and “hour” and “date.” These are false to the true reality of the moment as there is no time actually, yet only the arising magic of the Divine exhale and inhale that is the uprising breath of the moment. This naming and categorizing every moment in a linear way is false food to comfort the mind, yet I have eaten this diet of dualistic thought forms my whole life.

I am in preschool again; a preschool that is the real school of life where there are no rules to follow, dualistic concepts to learn, or linear realities to accept. This pre-school is where the beginner’s mind is not educated and conditioned to become an expert in dualistic reality. It is where the beginner’s mind is celebrated and encouraged to become even more childlike and simple and unlearned.

I am guided by Kuan Yin. She tells me to move beyond past associations and we track lovingly my mind’s (led by my false self) wanderings together. We track together my mind’s seemingly obsessive need to connect and associate everything with something else from my past.

“Be in this moment,” she tells me. “Be stillness in this moment.”

This is helpful. I can be stillness again after finding myself wandering off into content and into thoughts that only clutter rather than liberate. She offers me the picture of a very still lake and we are sitting, lotus style, at the shore. Peace, quiet, stillness, depth.

Yet the most helpful to me is her repeatedly saying, “Arise and dissipate.” I see trails and streams of life and energy in these words, which repeated often enough cease to have any meaning at all. Yet, like any mantra used while meditating, they help to give the mind something to occupy itself so the not-mind may be revealed in the spaces in  between the busy thoughts.

I feel a purifying inside. I feel stillness. I feel liberation from the past, and I feel sleepy. I dose all day, in and out of consciousness and not in pure sleep yet somewhere else, somewhere “not here” and yet “not there” either. Repeatedly Kuan Yin asks me if I am ready to learn more and go deeper. She is a kind yet dedicated teacher, making it safer to explore this unknown ground, the one I have always yearned for. Repeatedly, I answer her with a “yes”, surrendering my day to spend in this place of not place.

When I take a walk in the park near my home later that night, the flowers arise. The irises in the garden unfold and wink at me. The birds fly very close, nearly crashing into me, and I feel how somehow I have become more of their substance and more of where and what they are. They do not feel separate from me. They feel more kin than the people busily walking by, people not being but doing, and that is ok. I forget words for things and the things become more alive and miraculous in the forgetting.

Arising and dissipating.

I am in awe of the bigger container and canvas of the Creatrix for which all of life is painted upon. I am in awe of the whiteness backdrop of Her genesis.

This is a gift; this no-place yet all-place place that I am in. I wish for it to last forever even as I am offered that, “forever is as it already is as I am and All That Is is.”

This makes my mind hurt and get confused in a good way.

The next “day” offers different spaces, different challenges, emotional turmoil, yet the feelings and memories and template of the stillness and arising place remain. They hold it all and She holds me, bearing gentle witness to all that arises and dissipates in my journey deeper into myself with Her.

Jelelle Awen is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and co-creator. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information.

Message From Kuan Yin: Be In Stillness and Open Your Heart To Compassion

kuan yinsmall

By Jelelle Awen

Over the next several days, I am going to be sharing messages I received from the four faces of the Divine Mother that I experience connection with: Kuan Yin, Dark Mother-Kali, Magdalene, and Mother Mary. My main way of communicating with them has been through visualization visits, which I feel we are all able to experience and engage with if our hearts are in need, we vulnerably ask for it, and our motives are pure. In SoulFullHeart, the connection you develop with your daemon or soul guardian allows for the frequencies of communication to come through clearer and with less resistance. Through the SoulFullHeart way of life, you heal emotional and spiritual wounds through getting to know aspects of yourself and your Daemon which clear congestions that may block you from hearing and experiencing the Divine for yourself. We offer in SoulFullHeart that we are all sacred human children of the Divine meant to experience, especially the Divine Mother, in a direct, personal, and intimate way that requires no middleman, guru, or priest.

Here is a recent message I received from Kuan Yin about 2013 and the state of the world:

Hear me in the stream. Hear me in the water flow. Hear me in the flute. Hear me in the chimes. Or don’t hear me. Just be with me.

This is difficult now. As always. Such a busy world. Busy back and forth. Busy buying and selling. Busying birthing and killing. Busy with things that do not matter. Busy with things that do. Busy with content and not enough context. Busy with superficial and not enough depth.

In all your busy, you do not see or hear or feel or be enough. You are not still enough. If you could be more still, you would feel your own desires. You would feel your blood rushing through. You would hear the beating of your heart. You would remember that you are both real and not real.

In all your busy, you attach to things that are false. Things like time and money. Things like attainment and performance. In your language, things like mortgages, salary raises, investments, and on and on. In any language, these are things that are false and do not exist. Time and money are the biggest falsities and your attachment to their importance holds you captive to them.

To be free is to feel how time is an illusion.

To be free is to feel how money is an illusion.

In all your busy, you attach to your mind and understanding and mental attainment. Your schools and educational systems are little factories for this. The mind is but one filter, and not even the most important one. No, they are all important! But the mind has been made too important. If you can forget the mind in moments, even just for a brief moment, you are free.

In all your busy, you do things that are completely lacking in compassion. You commit acts against each other that are cruel and abusive. You become stuck in apathy and so can’t feel the cries of the world. If you feel the cries of the world, you could weep every second of every day for the state of the world and those suffering within it. Your tears would flow always, as do mine, for all the creatures that suffer in the world with not enough food, not enough water, not enough shelter, not enough respect, not enough safety. With not enough love.

This year is the same as other years, which also do not actually exist. You attach to the beginning of years; you make your resolutions and promises to yourself about your fresh starts. Resolutions are not real, only the desires that are at their roots. Resolutions become more ways to stay busy and then punish yourself when you don’t stay busy enough.

Instead, hear me. Be with me. Be still with me. And see what comes and arises from that. Arise and dissipate with that.

And then, we will see.

We will be. Won’t we?

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life.