Energy Update: Dark Mother/Kali Energies Guiding Us Through Death/Rebirth Cycles

by Kalayna Solais

There are two (maybe more) new worlds/realities dawning now and they are both powerful. One is a dystopia and the other a utopia (or with great potential to become this!). One moves farther away from love and into denser and denser consciousness grounds and suffering loops, while the other moves consciously and passionately towards love and everything that means… all that needs to be looked and felt within, especially, to be able to let love in.

It’s a time of great PURGatory before the healing and reconciliation of these two realities can really land. This healing has already begun and is actually helping to fuel this phase we’re still in of tensions and emotional breaking points.


Energies of war, battling, needing to be right, needing to prove, needing to scorn, needing to oppose, needing to hate, are coming UP and OUT like ooze. Like the worst hangover imaginable after so many years of medicating and denying the rage (which is really uninitiated passion) that needs to move through and also the medicating that has put away the need for self-love and self-loving decisions that are practical yet also spiritual and consciously felt through. This is sacred ground and there is MUCH to realize but even more to feel.

There’s been a sense of ‘hold on to the handrails!’ lately while SO many storms move through. We’re invited, always, into our own pacing that feels right to us about how many personal choices for the sake of our growth, ascension, and deepening self-love we are ready to make and when…. yet too, this is a powerful time with many Kali/Dark Mother energies inviting us into Her loving yet unsentimental LOVE furnace of death and rebirth. She invites us all into our soul bigness, our holding of ourselves and our inner realities, while we navigate the currently choppy waters swirling around and through us.

As always in times of great purgation and change, these storm-dances are necessary to help us all awaken and grow. We are NOT meant to suffer in these grounds, but to keep choosing love over fear, compassion over comparison, vulnerability over fighting, honesty over strategizing.

The new and most desired world possible HAS to come up from within each of us individually. It won’t be handed to us by anyone but our sovereign and growing Divine selves and our sacred learning process of what it means to embody that.

Every moment there are new choices to make. And there’s no perfect way to make them, but to be so sacredly in the process we are all in individually and collectively. Love is guiding the way through the tensions, heartbreaks, and openings too and it knows that we are all finding our way through the darkness of what has been as we stumble into our most natural and sincere Greatness as Sacred Humans remembering. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

In The Darkness The Queen Is Born

By Deya Shekinah

It’s hard to share and write as much when I am in the depths of feeling darker emotions and shadow aspects of myself. It feels so vulnerable for my parts to show the depth of grief, unworthiness, self loathing and entitlement they are feeling. For younger parts it can feel dangerous to show these feelings, as they are so conditioned to be good, nice and keep quiet. Yet to show up as the woman I know I am, this process of welcoming, owning and revealing the darkness feels like a key part of maturation and embodiment.

As I danced this morning with the darkness, I could feel how alive and juicy it feels to dance, feel and express these darker emotions. There is a power within them, that feels so connected to embodying and stepping into my Queen. To push intensity and darkness away, to hide from it and make it ‘not ok’, I feel like I am pushing away essential parts of myself as a woman. My passion, my pleasure, my joy, my purpose are all being suppressed along with them. 

There have been times these past weeks where my parts feel like they are drowning in the darkness, like they will never find their way through. To be honest that can still feel like the only reality as I, Deya, am still growing my capacity as a space-holder for my parts, and am still becoming the container that they can rest into and feel held within, rather than becoming them.

I don’t think I have ever felt so shaky in my life. Even as I feel a strength in sharing these words in the moment, once they are out in the world, the unworthiness, fear and anxiety will surely arise as they keep doing. The more I am choosing to step up and shine, to be more authentic, to follow my desire to be in service to Love and to be in intimacy with others, the more these shadows are being revealed.

It feels like there are now no other options, no more hiding places; there is no way to go but IN. To be authentic, to serve and to live in joy includes all of the uncomfortable emotions, to Love and be in intimacy with myself, with life and with others includes them all too. To be a Queen means being willing and brave enough to face the shadows. To be a Queen means to lead by example with a loving, empathetic heart to the feelings of others, because she is in a deep, real and intimate relationship with her own and knows the challenges that will be faced on this journey through her own lived experience.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Dearest Daughter: A Loving Message From Divine Mother To Heal The False Mother

Dearest Daughter,

I am inviting you now

to feel your legacy, your lineage, your leanings

that lovingly bond you to ME.

Within all this potential,

all this capacity,

all this inheritence,

all this birthright

is ALL that you need to become

the embodiment of ME.

As you heal the false mother,

that you have been misled to follow

that you have been conditioned to template

that you have been required to model….

so then you can let ME into your heart,

into your soul, into your body, and into your BEing

as a nurturing, catalytic, unconditionally loving

Mother to all parts and aspects of you.

You, my daughter, have always been wanted

never actually been rejected

never truly been separated

never completely been orphaned

from the home of MY heart.

You are an expression of my likeness,

just ripe to arise

into your unique version of ME.

I am here,

in all my numerous faces and figures

holding the infinite possibilities

of your ongoing embodiment

as Infinite Love

in Sacred Womanly form.

My love awaits your reclaiming!

love,

Your Divine Mother (With Jelelle Awen)

~

Join me for a special Sacred Feminine arising women’s group call event over Zoom on Sunday, July 5th at 10:00am PDT to attend live and/or receive the recording. I’ve been in surrogacy and ongoing embodiment connection with Divine Mother for over ten years and I’ll share about my process of healing from false mother and healing the motherhood wound to let in Divine Mother. I’ll also be providing a guided meditation with Divine Mother to connect with the part of you that needs the healing and create a bridge to your Divine Self as an embodiment of Divine Mother. You’ll also have space to personally share and take in sharings by other women on the call. You can attend by offering a donation of ANY amount at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

The false mother is the wounded feminine (usually has quite a lot of wounded masculine expression) that we’ve all experienced in some form in our daughter experience. False mother can also be a distortion presented by religions from a patriarchal lens or the Goddess paradigms that distance and don’t create an intimate and personal connection to the Divine Mother that we can then feel as an embodiment of ourselves. As we experience more of Divine Mother, we feel ourselves what has been ‘false’ and what has been true.

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Divine Feminine Bridge/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical/mental levels. For information about a free consultation call and 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen/Gabriel Heartman/Kalayna Solais, virtual group call and in person events, writings/books (including Jelelle’s latest Free To Be 5D), and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

Energy Update: Solstice/Eclipse/’Father’s Day’ Sacred Masculine Codes Illuminating Shadow Masculine

by Kalayna Solais

The Solstice/Eclipse energies coming in are super activating and A LOT to let in, especially as it feels like they are mostly coming from the Divine Father/Sacred Masculine. Plus, on top of that, we have a blend of the shadow masculine and sacred masculine energies coming in on ‘Father’s Day’. None of this is accidental, of course, and I definitely get the sense that we’ll need to ‘buckle up’ a bit for what is being illuminating and what wants to move within.

As Divine Father/Masculine energies come through, you’ll feel illuminations of your own shadow masculine expressions in this life and others. You’ll likely feel the grab at old relationships to others, to soul purpose work as well that your masculine has needed for a sense of ‘worth’ in the world. You’ll feel the outrage of your masculine and even masculinized ‘warrior feminine’ coming forward in some cases, wanting to set fire to everything in your life and to the 3D systems still collapsing.

None of this is ‘wrong’ to feel and all too often the necessary waves of rage, which is really passion when felt in its leading edge, get put down or therapized instead of heard and deeply felt. These are necessary pieces to feel as the world continues to shift and change and your parts/aspects are figuring out how to respond to it all. Do they conform to what the popular opinion or action-taking is, or do they rebel against it? Do they feel to stay in a polarized position and argue, fighting to convince others of their side… or do they choose to go inward, to drop the sword, to have their truth validated by YOU as a growing and healing ‘self’, and feel their vulnerability in it all?

When the Divine/Sacred Masculine moves through our heart spaces, it penetrates. It pierces through the din within. It creates a poultice because of the potency of its love, to draw out the parts of you that need love and that are convinced that the outside world has to change first before they can feel loved. It’s an energy that shows you its truth and helps you feel your own. It’s an energy that wants you to be empowered yet invites you to heal any need to seek power over anyone or anything else.

This weekend is going to be VERY powerful! It’s a potent time to go inward, connect with the Divine Father face/expression that most resonates for you, and to connect with your own Inner Masculine and what may be rumbling within him/them as well.

Here is a meditation led by Jelelle and Gabriel to help you connect with the Divine Father: https://youtu.be/QTWxFux2KA4

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Welcoming Everything In Closer, Sacred Union Within

By Deya Shekinah

This past month has been a deep dive with my Inner Teenager, Yasmin. We have been digesting so much together and navigating many timelines collapsing and arising. 

It has been a very tender time of feeling the reality of her experiences in this life, especially how she has been in relationship with others. Yasmin has always been such an open book, I have felt in this time of less sharing how her openness hasn’t always come from a place of self love. I’ve been feeling how she has shared such deeply intimate details of her life with others, with anyone really, because she so deeply longed to be felt, seen and heard… something she didn’t receive much of.

As we digested together, I have been writing but when it has come to sharing publicly, I am becoming more sensitive to her vulnerability. I am learning that instead of sharing, I can let her land more inside of me, letting her feelings be felt and validated by me, by Jelelle Awen and by those closest to me, who I feel safe with. Rather than trying to understand, I am learning to listen. To listen to her stories, the ones she has buried deep down and disconnected from. Feeling all the things she could not feel in other times of her life because she wasn’t safe to.

I am realizing all she has ever truly wanted was to be welcomed in all that she is and all that she feels, rather than only being desired, wanted or welcomed in certain energies of who she is. Her tears were so close this morning. I feel how other parts of me have learnt to try to fix her or push aspects of her emotional reality away. I feel how she also experienced this in all of her relationships to varying degrees.

As I moved and danced, I welcomed all of her in closer than ever before, all her tears, all her longing. She felt unsure at first, as tears have always been hard for her to feel without someone else holding space. As her tears were always hidden and not welcomed, it has taken me a long time to realize that they can be. As I grow through this process as a space holder, I am able to offer her a new narrative around tears and sadness, as I see more and  more how her longings and tears are the doorway to our desires for life.

She cried. She let go into me, resting more into the pain in her heart. It felt beautiful. It feels like the beginning of a new relationship, except this one is just with me. I want all of her because I know how much she has held alone, how much wisdom she holds because of that. I feel how deeply she loves when she is welcomed in all of who she is, and how the pain of not being welcomed has broken her heart open to life.

I sense some deeper layers of heartbreak arising, feeling the pain of relationships that didn’t work out and the times it has felt to her that people wanted her but only certain parts of her. The feeling of not being wanted in her fullness touches these tender tears. There is a growing sense of gratitude to those people who weren’t ready for all of her. I am a stronger woman because of it, who feels love for and loved by every aspect that makes up this expression of me. I no longer have to be more than or less than. I can be me, this beautiful bliss mess embodied as a woman. Trusting that as I love myself and see myself more and more, I will attract others who can only show up for the same.

Love,

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

Dear Brother…

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps us apart?
Keeps us torn?
Feeling torn apart?

Dear Brother
What is it that keeps you from your truth?
From your heart?
From your capacity to feel alive?

Dear Brother
What chains bind thee to the concrete walls
That separate your dreams from reality?
What stands between us that keeps us
From seeing one another
As brethren rather than enemies?

Dear Brother
Let us lay down the shields
Take off the armour
Sit naked in the meadow of our vulnerability
And shed the tears of our forgotten unity

Let us hold the candles high
The flame of our Father’s love for life
For The Mother
For our Lover

Let us claim the Feminine within
For She is the portal to our true Masculine
The Spade to Her Chalice
The container to Her ocean

Dear Brother
My heart calls to you
To your quest of truth of heart
And truth of mind
To your desire to leave the system behind
And create a new kingdom
Born of and from Love

Dear Brother
I miss you

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Gift Of Feeling Pain &Trauma

By Deva Yasmin

There are so many ways I can see, of how parts of me can push beyond feeling pain in order to attain or achieve certain experiences. The spiritual search for a long time was a search for a place free of pain for me, the attainment of bliss states and higher consciousness feeling so much more superior and desirable, than acknowledging the pain and suffering parts of me were experiencing. I still see it playing out for parts of me, especially as we taste more of the bliss, joy and contentment that is arising, they desire to stay there, but as Embodied Divine Humans, that is not our purpose to remain there it feels like.

The thing is these states are actually arising, from me being willing to acknowledge, feel and listen to the pain and trauma my parts have experienced, not from any pushing away of, or striving towards, a particular state, this actually blocks bliss. It feels like the reason I can experience these more joyful feelings is because, as I deeply know the experience of the opposite, I can appreciate the true simplicity of what joy truly is. This is a constant circling between the both for me and my parts, there is no end place and yet there is a place of experiencing more and more goodness coming in, only as I am willing to let go of what is not loving or bringing feeling of goodness.

This is the cost it feels like, to experience the fullness of who we are, and what this life and universe has to offer us as Divine Humans. Through feeling the pain and trauma, I am liberating parts of me from the prisons and Matrices they have learnt to call home, but to leave the only home they have known is painful too. To leave behind what they felt was nurturing, loving and resonant for so long, to go towards the more that I feel is available, brings up so much for them to digest. To realize how much of what they felt was Love, has actually been toxic and kept them inside the prison walls, is painful, tender, vulnerable and raw.

There is a time, and a self loving paced, organic-ness to being ready to soberly look into the reality of the life that was known for so long. As parts are felt and validated in what they have experienced; first by others in sessions, which then templates how we can valid ourselves, more space opens inside of us. As I am deepen in this process, I experience how this space becomes available for higher dimensional aspects of myself, as well as Divine beings to come in and support my continued exploration with my parts.

The ones we have been longing for, the parts of us who have the higher wisdom we have been seeking for, and the Beings of Love who we have been calling for, for so long, forgetting how close they have always been, come in to us. It feels like our commitment to keep showing up for ourselves, is a beacon, as we become more attuned to feeling, we become more sensitive to the higher frequencies all around us. This for me is so much more embodied, which brings a visceral confirmation of what is real and the Love that is always here.

When I have pushed to attain a certain state, the higher frequencies can feel ‘floaty’ or ‘wishy-washy’, they cannot ground and actually be beneficial in my everyday life. My parts cannot let it deeply in, in the ways that is needed for them to feel, heal and integrate their past experiences. They cannot rest within me if they cannot FEEL, the stable presence of the safety these higher frequencies and Divine Beings are offering them, especially I feel Divine Mother. She feels so significant to my parts process right now, as I digest with parts of me who have never felt held or nurtured.

It feels like if we keep pushing beyond pain as it is arising, not being sensitive to the subtle contractions, we keep ourselves in the prison of feeling alone and in pain, we keep ourselves in the suffering loops. As I write this, I feel how I am learning to be really present to the subtleties of all this, this no longer has to be a process of digging and trying to unearth pain or trauma, the pain arises organically in response to just BEing in life, being available to the healing life is offering us in every moment. As there is more and more goodness arising, it can be quite the process as well to let that in, I feel many of us who have been on this journey for a while will resonate with the striving and pushing for healing, or the over focusing on what is wrong, it can feel quite addictive to parts who are so used to the frequencies of abuse and trauma, to want to stay there it feels like.

I feel I am entering into more of a space of flow with the process, and an availability for what is real in the moment, letting life and what is in my heart lead my process. This feels to me what it means to be embodied. Parts of me no longer want to get out of the body to find home, or out of feeling pain, because they are realizing more and more from experience, that their true home, their higher frequency origins and their Divine nature activates and arises from within, as they feel and clear the pain and trauma they have held onto for so long, because that is what has felt like home.

The empty space that is opening up within me and within my life, through my willingness to feel pain and no longer hold onto places, people & patterns in my life that cause more pain, can feel both completely full of potential and completely void. So many questions, and so much time to explore them, so much to digest, and so much clarity to be birthed in me too, A space of feeling, healing and becoming.

I find myself in the moment honoring a very tender process with my younger parts as they let go of relationships that have been abusive and toxic, non of this is easy, but it is real and honest, and that is what my Soul longs for. This is what my woman’s heart longs for, and as my parts learn to trust me, and they experience the beauty and goodness living life lead from a tender, vulnerable, open heart brings, feeling pain becomes SO worth it and SO valuable, as it becomes the Inner Compass guiding us home, always, to LOVE.

Much Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

Feeling The Inner Masculine To Move from Surviving To Thriving

By Deva Yasmin

I have been noticing for some time a certain pattern or habit within me. I have been feeling and exploring this much deeper these past days as I adjust to a new way of being, it feels like. As I transition from dream space to waking space, I notice anxiety coming up, this automatic pattern that has been there for so long to get up, get doing, get working. Already in my dream space I sense a chaotic-ness as I am stirring into conscious reality.

I felt yesterday a part of me called ‘David’, my Inner Masculine I have been working with for a while. As we felt together I felt how long he has been in this way of life, getting straight up out of bed, straight into work/survival mode; to move into my day from a place of rest and stillness felt so alien to him. That is the invitation and opportunity now it feels like, as I no longer have work to go to, as many of us are experiencing. I feel that this is also an invitation into a new way of being for us all, of moving into more thriving than only surviving this life. I feel inside me the growing desire to move in all areas of my life from a place of inner peace and stillness.

David expressed to me that it was new to not have to go into the day from a place of stress and to-do lists, but that he also does enjoy the practical aspects of life. I felt him not so anxious about it, rather desiring to be acknowledged as the part that is here to provide for me and my parts practically. This felt so lovely and soothing to other parts of me, to feel I have David here to help with those things as they are needed. He then transitioned to becoming my Inner Father which opened some touching healing between him and Yazzy, my Inner Child.

It was interesting to me then to feel the same anxiety arising as I woke this morning, and when checking in I could no longer feel David but a new part coming through who was very anxious about having no work. I felt a lot of fear around how we will support ourselves financially and feed ourselves too. As I felt deeper, this part revealed himself to me as ‘John’, a Metasoul brother it feels like, in a timeline of starvation and poverty. He was very concerned, he felt taking time in the morning to ease into the day was frivolous, something he could not afford to do. I could feel him being the sole provider for his family, a wife and two small children, who were all starving and dying as were many people around them, it felt like. He told me how he had to feed his children, feeding them before himself, his fear so triggered by me no longer having work, as well as my new geography in London it feels like, and me now desiring to step into a new way of earning money, rather than the old way of employment that my parts are used to.

I was able to acknowledge his experience and his feelings, although I could not do anything to change his reality. I helped him feel that starvation and poverty are no longer a part of my life now, even as I live on less money and eat less too. My relationship to food is not coming from a poverty mindset, but rather from years of transitioning to feeling what I actually need versus overeating as a cover over to not feel my emotions. Feeling John so explains why I have had a fear based connection to food this life, feeling him starving in his. I supported him to feel the reality of his situation, soberly feeling the outcome, that him and his family may possibly die yet he did not have to suffer. He had the choice to be present with his children, love them, soothe them, rather than keep panicking about what to do. This softened something for him as I felt him moving into being in what is, and with his beloveds while he still could.

Feeling John I felt so much gratitude for what I do have in the moment, the food I have even if it is not the amount parts of me have been used too, grateful to feel that starvation isn’t part of my timeline now although I know it is for so many. I sense how much I have held onto because of the fear of survival, feeling how unhappy it has made me to stay in jobs I do not like and how even relationships too can be a way of covering over the fear. I feel how society can make women feel like they need a man to provide and survive and I am sure men have their own version of this too.

For me right now I have let go of so many things that have made me feel safe, as I have chosen to move towards my desires for more resonance and purpose in my life. I have a feeling of how I wish my life to feel, so I am having to meet all the fear of moving towards it. I feel how I have been in this transition for some time especially around money, having struggled to manage full-time employment. I had to question how much I actually needed. Feeling how much energy and inner resources it takes to maintain work that is not my passion, I no longer wanted to do it and with the exchange of money no longer being a big enough draw for me either, I now desire to thrive not only survive.

Exploring what it feels like to thrive is a new exploration ground, feeling through the transition of having less money to truly feel what thriving feels and looks like. It feels like a transition we will all have to go through at some stage in our Awakening. For me, thriving does not mean the same thing as success; thriving is not solely based on financial abundance but can include that too. To thrive for me feels like TIME, to have time to actually live, to enjoy the world around me, to breath it all in. To be grateful for the simplest of things, vulnerability, connection, intimacy, honesty, and service of Love to others and self. Feeling balance in all areas of your life and to be leading from love, peace and lots of joy rather than lack and fear. These are not things that can be maintained or even experienced when we are so overly focused on the 3D survival matrix paradigm, as I have just remembered, again, after needing to go into full-time employment that is not my passion or Soul purpose once more, to finally be able now to leave it behind.

I feel an empty space between where parts have been focused for so long on 3D, to where we are heading in 5D/Golden Earth Reality as I checked in with Enu, my Pleaidian aspect around this. Also, to feel where I am now as I explore how to transition personally. Enu told me that in her world, they do not work with the energy of money, that it is an Earth experience/challenge and frequency, part of human life only, it feels like. I feel her holding the picture of energy exchange, of freely offering our gifts to one another when needed, of sharing with others and of not being scared of asking for help when it is needed either, that all resources are shared in her timeline. Abundance means so many things in her world, whereas here on Earth it can so often be felt or seen as only money equals abundance. They are also deeply connected to their creativity and gifts which gives them life, as well as living on prana too, rather than physical food as we do. They absorb life force from the world around them, through breath.

This feels so much like what I have been longing to experience and am on my way towards especially joining SoulFullHeart as a Collaborator, with the desire to be a Facilitator in the future, as well as one day living together in community. It is what I moved towards more, moving into my new place in London too, with beautiful resonant souls, a choice that was financially risky after losing my job but that David navigated and manifested financial support for me around too. Now I have the space to breathe and question what I want to bring into the world, what is my passion and the creativity/wisdom and healing I have to offer to others through my own healing. I feel the desire and LOVE in my heart switching on to be of service to others, for which I will need to continue to feel the parts in fear around all of this.

Feeling the higher timelines available does soothe my parts and helps me be more in the moment around everything, keeping my vision alive and burning, anchoring me in my commitment to keep going IN and feeling all the difficult reactions and timelines within my Soul. Feeling with sobriety when things are not working, when things have become stagnant and when we need to move in a different direction is SO hard. Feeling when there is nothing to do, but to feel the pain, sadness, grief, trusting that that is what will move us forward when the time is right, and the Divine knows the timings here not us.

Learning to trust the perfection of this life, this universe, comes to me through being able to sit in, be in, and feel everything that is moving within me. Feeling the Love growing for myself, feeds my truest desires and gives me the courage to keep moving towards NEW Earth, even though the way through is in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. This does not have to be a scary transition anymore though, as more and more resources from within our Soul are activated as we feel the lifetimes/timelines where we have been training and preparing for these times for so long. Everything we need for these transitions is within us.

Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Compassion As We Calibrate To The Truth Of Our Times

By Kalayna Solais

Pretty intense head and neck pain this morning which started last night… a detox and a calibration too after going down more ‘rabbit holes’ which has become a daily venture lately. I don’t feel much emotional reaction to it all anymore now aside from waves of necessary tears that open up to swells of deepening compassion even for the ‘culprits’, as I can feel they are still my ‘brothers and sisters’ and how we are always connected.

The world of celebrity (which is one of the main rabbit holes to go down right now) is one of duality, of separation, of energizing ‘I am a god/goddess and you are not’ and with the recent WHO support concert, ‘Together at Home’, this gap and separation has been praised and preached on in other ways too, encouraging the audience to embrace all of the now mandated social/physical separation as a new lifestyle. It’s an ‘Elite’ agenda disguised as a message of hope from on high, just as so many dark and covert messages have been disguised for decades, masked by propaganda and many mind-controlled ‘puppets’ in the world of the rich and famous and in the mainstream media too. This article I took in yesterday made some amazing points about it all: https://vigilantcitizen.com/moviesandtv/together-at-home-was-an-infomercial-for-the-global-elite-and-its-agenda/

The veil is becoming pretty thin around all of this now though with more information more easily available and more souls ready to take it in and feel all they need to feel about it, running the gamete of mourning reactions from denial to anger to sadness to hopelessness. I feel how this is what’s supposed to happen now as these ways of celebrating duality in these dark and ultimately very, very painful expressions are running out of ground and about to reach a new level of healing that’s becoming accessible as those who were once considered powerful are now realizing they are quite vulnerable and grasping at straws trying to avoid truly feeling that in themselves.

It’s so easy to feel disillusioned and depressed at this time of awakening and many souls will need to be in that for a while… the ‘sheen’ is wearing off of what was once considered shiny and attractive about celebrity, about immense business ‘achievement’, about the real and often gritty work of awakening through these intense and challenging birth canals of expanded awareness. I for one didn’t know much about the Elite pedophile rings until now and it’s been VERY important to allow myself and every part of me to be with the reactions and feel them, even the cognitive dissonance that does eventually lead to deep tears of feeling the young ones involved in all of it. Through these feelings I find context again though and was offered strongly last night to ‘not be afraid’ and to remember that even those souls who have chosen to be the perpetrators are my ‘brothers and sisters’ and often they aren’t fully aware of what they’re doing or, they are walking out the expressions of extreme polarity that they’re meant to in their lifetime to help us see and reconcile our own darkness.

Enter now our awakening connections (though still largely unconscious for many of us) to our Reptilian aspect(s) in other dimensions who are witnessing all of this and awakening themselves. I felt my own, whose name is Skeevra, come in last night to feel this all through with me, everything that I’ve been reading and downloading and feeling. I began my conscious connection with Skeevra a couple of months ago and she was dazed then, just coming out of ‘hive mind’ and realizing she had an individuality to now embrace as well as a connection to the rest of my Galactic aspects who quickly took her into their care. She feels quite cleared of that cloud she was in now and wanted to be with me this morning as I write this piece, for some of these playouts of AI mind control, pleasure at any cost and always in close relationship to pain, lack of empathy, etc, originate from the Reptilian dimensions yet are also being reconciled there as more and more of them begin to heal their separation from the Divine and from Love itself.

Skeevra doesn’t have many ‘words’ but sends me pictures as we communicate. I saw her molting today and felt how this is happening for me too, layers and layers that have kept my heart from feeling more compassion for others and served me to stay in outrage reactions and an over-fixation on dissonance in my life rather than nourishing the resonance. These are all Reptilian energies and they are in reaction/response to the newly evolving self-awareness in many of them that awakens as WE awaken for we cannot separate from them or any other being in this universe.

These reactions are in fact normal and necessary to feel and there is so much Divine compassion for all of us, no matter what we are feeling in reaction to what we hear or read about right now or at any time. There is always, though, an invitation to move through it and let the Divine support you on your way back to love consciousness, back to an awareness of WHY this has all been happening, what we are to learn from it all about TRUE and DEEP compassion and empathy, and why we absolutely need to have that for ourselves, within ourselves, on our journey to feel that deeper with others. Feeling this for and with our own individual Reptilian connections feels like a key to this deeper movement/healing.

In all of this, I keep coming back to the same context… that we wouldn’t have been walking this out, living out these patterns and this duality if we didn’t NEED to on our path to Ascension. Ascension is, ultimately, a return to Divine love and consciousness, a return to beautiful awareness of our Divinity and Christ-light within. We have steps to be with on the path to this embodiment and all of them are sacred… even in these extreme and sometimes incredibly shocking playouts of ‘other-ness’.

Much love from my ever-finding-its-way and VERY humbled sacred human heart to yours… ❤

~

I highly recommend connecting with Jelelle Awen’s guided meditation to meet your Reptilian aspect if you’re curious about that for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&feature=youtu.be

Also! THIS coming Wednesday, April 29th, Raphael and Jelelle will be talking about connecting with your Reptilian aspect and unplugging from the AI/4D Matrix during their next group call in the “Free to Be’ series. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Raphael Awen and I are available for 1:1 sessions to help you explore these reactions and connections within yourself… for more info on sessions, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

‘Free To Be’ Series Digestions & Reflections

By Deva Yasmin

I could sense that the ‘Free To Be series’ was going to be a huge portal for me and my parts, I knew I was being invited into BIG shifts if I was ready to jump in. Sometimes there is only a sense of something that draws or calls you in, a knowing, this is going to be HUGE. The topics of each week somehow felt like they were designed to support me through what was next, the Divine knowing what was coming even as me and my parts did not. I did not want to miss the opportunity of expansion that I know continuously comes through the SoulFullHeart process, or being in the circle of BIG Souls that it draws too.

Yesterday’s group call felt like a tipping point for me personally, as a whole way of being has fallen away in the short 4 weeks this series has been going: a job, relationships including the one with my beloved mate (the best I have ever known), and a home, all being released to make way for more resonance in my life. It has been an intense few weeks and as I land in my NEW timeline, I sense the digestion of these recent events in my personal life are going to take some time to be understood and felt.

There are so many parts having various reactions, feelings and responses to what has happened, so many paradoxes being held. A theme that has run throughout the series; how we can all hold so many polarities and feelings within us at the same time, despair & desire, resonance & dissonance, death & rebirth…

As these themes have been felt, it has become so much clearer to feel the parts in push/pull within, and noticing how dynamics on the outside have been there for a while, trying to reflect to me the inner dissonance. There is a pace to this work that although very gentle especially when navigating trauma, accelerates our growth edges too. A pace that can seem intense at times to parts of us, which feels connected to the accelerated times of Earth we all find ourselves in. As more parts are felt, more clarity arises. As more is healed and cleared, more space for feeling desire is opened, and this feels SO new for my parts, feeling their desires – What???? Really!!! Being felt in what they desire, validated in their wants and needs through sessions, makes it very hard to stay in places that are no longer offering what they need in the same ways. This process can push up all that has gone unfelt as well, in order to maintain something that felt resonant for a time, or that held much resonance but is not transacting in all areas.

I was touched by the theme of dissonance/resonance in relationships, it felt so true for me that what I am moving towards is more resonance in relationships, in ALL areas. It was hard to track all that was offered, as my parts are so very much in the grief process of the breakdown of so much known and loved. I feel like I am now in a phase of needing to feel and digest why I have stayed in, be drawn to, and been in dissonance throughout my life.

This morning I felt in a deeper way my younger parts, Yazzy and Yasmin, how they are navigating the changes in our relationships. I could sense my Inner Mother coming in more to be felt too. I felt the dissonance between these parts, feeling how Yasmin my Inner Teenager does not trust my Inner Mother, feeling how she actually felt like the ‘Mother’ of Yazzy, my Inner Child, who needed to grow up quite early as a way of protection. To feel this dissonance within me is new ground for me, as I sense how much of that dissonance has been projected out onto my relationships, making it difficult to maintain resonance. I feel how I have actually been this dissonance, so how could I draw more resonance, even as parts of me have so wanted to.

It feels like certain dynamics in relationships keep these dynamics inside set in place with little space for other parts to be let in and met. It feels like this work offers such a solid, stable ground for parts to be felt and to move into the NEW, a process I could not have navigated this without. It feels like I have tried before, but without the integrity of feeling or the ability to draw on the gifts of these different parts of me to support me through the transition, it has been hard to move into the new.

I feel how my younger parts have been the ones holding so much responsibility that was never really theirs, trying to navigate and lead my life, work and relationships. I sense the growing connection with my Inner Mother. Feeling the disempowerment of not having her voice heard or validated will support me to let in NEW ways of being in relationship and drawing more resonance.

She feels like a key part actually, that will help Yazzy feel safe enough to let in all she actually desires. As I feel her tenderness and vulnerability around letting new relationships and timelines in, I feel her needing the maternal space-holding from within to feel safe. I feel the Inner Child and Teenager knowing the beauty they desire to let in, as they have the sensitivity to feel the vibrational frequencies of resonance that we have been longing for, it feels like. I feel how the pain of the old paradigm of being in relationships created the conditioning of accepting dissonance, staying in some kind of safety that breeds more of it rather than being taught ways to feel the INNER sanctuary of safety that can be created through the SoulFullHeart process. This anchors parts, giving the solid foundation within to mature and thrive, helping them step towards resonance in a world that can make parts feel so ungrateful for wanting more or judged for being ‘too much’.

When really these parts have never been ‘too much’ or asked for too much, they have just always felt that resonance is our birthright, to be with others who feel us, see us, get us. We have until now lived in a world that has wanted to keep our capacity for dreaming, visioning and joy to a minimum, it feels like, in case we became too FREE. As I write this it feels so perfect, so Divinely orchestrated that the current SoulFullHeart series is called ‘Free To Be’ as that is where I find myself at the moment, free to be, whoever and whatever I so desire, and dare to dream into reality. It is interesting to feel how scared some parts can feel of so much freedom that at the same time they deeply long for… another paradox.

Through this process full of paradoxes, Life is becoming a rainbow, a light spectrum of possibilities, of new experiences and timelines available to us all of more resonance. No longer does life have to be lived through the black or white lens we have been so used to.

This NEW magical, multi-faceted, multi-dimensional way of life is the frequency of resonance I am now ready to draw and am drawing through this process of parts work. It brings such a new richness to feeling ALL experiences, even the most painful and challenging ones such as relationships ending.

You can still join the ‘Free To Be’ series and purchase the recordings of the groups call so far here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Much Love to you all in these times of navigating so much change and letting go.

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc