Inner Punisher Triggers/Projections During This Coronavirus/3D Matrix Collapse

By Jelelle Awen

Levels of contention, disagreement, and making each other ‘wrong’ are really peaking at this time of unknown transition during the Coronavirus slowdown. These energies of contention have long been the case in 3D mainstream media, politics, religions, etc. Yet, the arguments right now, even amongst awakening and spiritual people that are more oriented to higher timelines, are surprisingly degrading down into exchanging personal insults, accusations of being ‘hijacked’ or ‘influenced’ by dark forces, not ‘getting it’ and not really being awakened and so on. Even amongst those who believe in and are creating the same timelines together (such as the Q movement), are attacking each other with infighting and putdowns and ‘calling each other out for being fakes’ becoming more common.

As an ambassador of love, I have been guided to ‘go into’ some of these battlegrounds even as they make me feel uncomfortable. These battlefields are so often, in our modern age, the comments sections of posts on social media and other places online. I have been stunned breathless at times at how cruel, degrading, and insulting people can be to each other. It hurts my heart to feel it as so often there is a deeper pain and fear there in the person that isn’t getting felt and CAN’T be with so much outer focused protection, defence, and judgemental energies going out.

I was feeling this too as a peak time for triggering the collective Inner Punisher/Critic frequencies and the Inner Punisher within each of us. The Inner Punisher is often ‘stuck’ in the polarized energies of judgement without love, which is often an internalized protection created to ‘fend off’ and acclimate to very judgemental energies coming toward them in the 3D experience, especially if it came from parents and birth family. The Inner Punisher is essentially a part that forms as a survival strategy and defense/protection in 3D. Empaths/sensitives/star seeds tend to have Inner Punishers that focus the judgement inward in extreme self criticism, self doubt, and low self worth rather than focusing it outward on others.

The Inner Punisher’s energy actually shifts to compassionate discernment as they are connected to in a conscious way through the SoulFullHeart process. I have experienced hundreds of previously ‘dark and judgy’ Inner Punishers shift into the noble, humble, and beautiful energies of intuitive discernment once they are ‘forgiven’ for their previous judgements and pain they have caused. Once this part of you is seen and loved with a compassionate heart by you, they can shift into being a vital member of your ‘inner’ team.

The current circumstances are triggering the Inner Punishers it feels like because the 3D/4D Matrix programs us to judge ourselves and others at a very young age. So much in 3D has been fueled by these judgemental energies. When part of us judges us or others, it immediately lowers our frequency. There is also necessary truth seeking and questioning going on right now for those in 3D and those moving into deeper levels of 4D Disclosure awakening. Clarity is being sought and informational sources are being looked to outside of the mainstream offerings. When that is primarily happening toward outside sources, there is less embodiment of your inner truth, your soul’s knowledge, and your own intuition. Yet, outside sources CAN mirror this inner knowing if they are looked at in that way.

If a Punisher part of someone is looking to an outside source though for THE truth, there will be an inner revolt going on, a personal sovereignty boundary that is breeched, an inner and outer rebellion, if you will. Feelings of resonance or dissonance with that outside source can create quite a lot of reactions inside for the Inner Punisher, who isn’t sure how to digest it. If that outer source of information is ALSO fused to their Inner Punisher (which is often the case it seems), then Inner Punisher meets outer Punisher and that is a recipe for contention, infighting, and judgemental projections both inside and outside. The Punisher Truthteller actually elicits feelings of shame and unworthiness in those who are taking in their truth…their energy is often angry, righteous and doesn’t see any other view than their own.

If you are taking in someone else’s truth and you are triggered into feelings of shame or unworthiness or even feeling ‘stupid’ for not knowing something or believing something, part of you is most likely reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else. Your Inner Punisher may also be reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else which brings up feelings of fighting and defending. Outside sources more anchored to higher frequencies can activate inspiration, inviting you to explore and land in YOUR own truth, yet not make you feel BAD or wrong about yourself.

Energies that make you question yourself in a judgmental way are rampant right now. For some souls, this is effective to help them start questioning life and reality. Yet, for those who are very sensitive to energies, the empaths/star seeds/healers of the world, these judgemental energies are difficult to navigate. I feel that I have to carefully track how much of these energies I take in as, while I am curious to feel and take in the timelines going on right now in the collective (again as an ambassador of love I feel it is important that I do so), I don’t want the information at the ‘cost’ of feeling judged and ‘kicked at’ as I no longer have these punishing energies inside of me.

These energies flying around do offer an opportunity to connect with your Inner Punisher and the part of you (usually an Inner Child) that feels shame reactions from them. This meditation helps you to connect with your Inner Punisher and Shame:

True Divine essence doesn’t judge you or others or condemn or punish. The Divine, especially the Divine Mother expression, is holding much love for humanity as go through our Valley Of Shadows Of Death process to emerge into the light. Connect with Divine energies that feel supportive, loving, and compassionate and they can support you to find your own truth grounding in your soul’s path and process. These loving Divine energies can begin the process of inner forgiveness and activation of inner knowing that can help your Inner Punisher transmute and heal.


Jelelle Awen

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here:

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. Jelelle is no longer offering 1:1 sessions yet for more information about  1:1 individual sessions with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls with Jelelle, writings/books, and videos, visit

Healing The Violence Inside

By Jelelle Awen

Fear can live in your bones, in your DNA, in parts of you vibrating at trauma frequencies in your emotional body, in your Metasoul in many timelines, in your Protector/Gatekeeper aspect. And fear comes out in ALL kinds of ways and expressions. It comes out in tensions, panics, and anxieties. It projects and closes down/blocks open-hearted experience and transaction with others. It brings your frequency lower. Parts of you may shiver and quiver with it, sinking to a place where things seem untrustworthy, hurtful and harmful, non-vulnerable, dark and shadowy.

We are ancient with fear, beyond time ingrained and trained. We are gestating embryos in our mother’s womb swimming in fear fluids. The 3D matrix has been built and run on fear fuel, fed and maintained by violence – both within and outward – violence is the lowest vibrational frequency of fear. So many eat fear every day through animals that have been killed. Violence has become entertainment, so many souls on an IV drip of violence coming in, numbing them or eliciting outrage at the INjustice, which is just more violence in a shifted form.

Lifting UP beyond violence begins from withIN. It starts with becoming aware of the battles within, the harm done from one part of you to another…a Punisher Part of you beating up until shame floods your BEing with the suffering patterns and loops this creates.

Loving the Inner Punisher energy and learning WHY it is like this….you weep, then, at how this punishing-shame frequency is just learned and necessary and NOT really who you ARE. You feel how it has served to make you small, to help you fit in, to keep you ‘capped’ and plugged in to 3D life. You are ready to be lifted out of it to transmute the punishment to discernment and intuition WITH love. To heal the shame into innocence again.

Here is a guided meditation with Gabriel Heartman to connect to your Inner Punisher:

As this inner violence heals, you can come, more and more, from non-violent frequencies in response to others. You become less tolerant to violence in any form…..even sensitive to the subtle frequencies found in comparison, contention, and judgements made with love withheld.

You lift UP, then, as you stop eating, watching, BEing violence and become MORE love. You shift your focus from violence outside of you and discover, find, and feel where it lives inside.

BEcoming a beacon of peace is the openness to feel the violence, the battles, the clashes inside. BEcoming a beacon of peace is more space clearing in your emotional body to make room for your higher heart, your angelic heart, your Christ Consciousness heart, your Mother Mary heart….made of Infinite Kindness, Infinite Peace, and no longer any need for fear.

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here:

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging sessions with me, Raphael Awen, and Gabriel Heartman allow for connection to parts of you that the fear clashes that express inside and can heal with love.

Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.