Loving The Spiritual Warrior Into The Spiritual Ambassador

Since the Solstice/Eclipse I found myself flying high in the sky to then falling toward the ocean like Icarus in the Greek myth. An outer trigger that constellated another layer of my wounded masculine and feminine.

It illuminated the ways in which they are both still working out their relationship to each other. As my own ascension and maturation process continues, I reach more subtle areas of my wounded and shadow selves. Then the subtle becomes more obvious and like an elephant in the room.

The awareness I felt was that parts of me still look outbound for validation rather than inbound and from me and the Divine. Before this SoulFullHeart work, I would respond to this awareness by trying to ‘improve’ myself or take care of my ‘shit’. This only brought in more frequencies of self-judgement rather than self-compassion.

Through connecting to my inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects, I have become more clear about who I, Gabriel, is as the ‘eye of the storm’ sort of speak. I am becoming more clear of my Essential self, that Me that is the spark of the Divine.

As I connect to that energy more, I can start to see the architecture of my wounding more and be able to hold the parts of me in vibration and pain. I am the Ambassador of my own ascension. My trailing edge wounds are a part of who I am. I cannot go very far without them. Their ascension is my ascension.

So in I go. Feeling. Reflecting. Compassionating. Loving. Owning and Growing. This is the path of Spiritual Ambassador, not the Spiritual Warrior. Even the warrior is held in Love and not in spite. It has enumerable gifts that are the fuel of our devotion to Love for all humankind and for ourselves as human souls.

For more on this topic of 4D Warrior to 5D Ambassador I highly recommend today’s call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen. They will be bridging these energies through teaching and a guided meditation to bring in more compassion, forgiveness, and self-love. It will be available as a recording as well. To get the details go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

‘Sacred Sisterhood’ Is Emerging More As Part Of ‘New/5D Earth’ Transition

by Kalayna Solais

I wrote down some feelings of Sacred Sisterhood a few months ago when a new wave of ‘sacred sisters’ was just emerging onto my shores, in my heart and soul field, and in the flesh no less! This was not just about my growing INNER sisterhood, though that is always deepening and being felt more and more… this was about feeling the resonance of other women around my age and beyond that too, feeling us coming together more in realness, uniqueness, yet also a desire to heal and be healed and not leave any part of us or Metasoul aspect behind in the process.

I’m feeling something today about women learning to actually see each other and love each other deeply and how this seems to be happening within my beloved SoulFullHeart community and possibly elsewhere too. There is something to be said for the ‘restriction’ of not being able to go outward and do many outward things right now and feeling, then, the new portals to going inward – going YINward – that I feel is helping us all go to our next levels of feeling why we’ve had a hard time holding deeper friendships and being with other women as women. We’ve been invited to continue the journey of looking within and seeing each other as sacred mirrors of the continued inner work. We’ve been invited to feel the triggers yet actually find some stillness around them too, feeling the parts and Metasoul aspects in other timelines where they could be coming from, which then leads to a more open heart towards each other.

I hear women claiming ‘realness’ when they’re being harsh and even abusive, fusing to their Inner Punishers or other energies in their soul timelines and lashing out as a way to off-gas what actually isn’t about the other person at all. I hear women claim ‘Well, I am just direct and blunt’ when I can’t feel how this directness has heart or care in it for the other person. When I hear words like these, I can feel their Inner Matriarch who is in pain about never being met with actual realness, vulnerability, and care themselves and quite often they’ve also taken in these abusive frequencies, even from the maternal line in their birth families. Underneath this is often a pain of being the biggest soul in the room, who hasn’t ever felt truly initiated into their soul gifts or deeply seen for them either. It’s also an energy that covers over the more vulnerable energies and parts inside that just want to love and want the battles to be over so they can play and connect more with others, like with the Inner Child or even the Teenager once she has finally had some air.

In my deepening relationships with women in my life who have been very consciously working and feeling all this and more within themselves, what becomes new is the way in which it can all be shared… all the nuances of feelings and reactions. These parts don’t have to be any less ‘real’ or even more vulnerable and open than they’re ready for yet, yet they do get to be held now and seen in a new way, acknowledging that these energies they hold that often feel competitive and push away at the deeper love and intimacy that’s possible are NOT their whole story or all that they have within them.

I’ve been so pleasantly surprised (and not!) to feel how much deeper my relationships with these other women can go once we have done the work to be able to hold realness, feel reactions, share them, and also acknowledge the impact of this in every moment. The result of these exchanges is more love, not less, that gets to be shared; more seeing of each other and each other’s uniqueness and gifts; more compassion than was transactable between us before, for now we know more about each other’s backgrounds, stories, and ongoing processes.

This, to me, is a sacred template emerging for Sacred Sisterhood. It’s always in exploration. There are no rules and sometimes messes are made. Abuse is a thing of the past, though sometimes exchanges are intense if necessary. There’s a personal sense of accountability for your own energies and process and there’s a desire to be transparent and deepen the intimacy ground.

This all feels to me like the new ground going forward that’s possible in ALL relationships of all kinds if the time and space are taken to go inward, to lean into work such as this, to dig into those deeper wounds and find gold, and to begin, ultimately, to seed the ground of what New Earth/Golden Earth/5D Earth relationships get to look and feel like! There can only be BLISS as this moves and deepens our healing and the yield of 5D Earth/Sacred Human consciousness within you and in your relationships makes it all worth it. The practice ground for this is always within, yet when these sacred friendships emerge on your radar, this is a chance to really apply all you’ve realized and seek out all you’ve most wanted to experience but were afraid to ask for with another.

Much love!

Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

Inner Punisher Triggers/Projections During This Coronavirus/3D Matrix Collapse

By Jelelle Awen

Levels of contention, disagreement, and making each other ‘wrong’ are really peaking at this time of unknown transition during the Coronavirus slowdown. These energies of contention have long been the case in 3D mainstream media, politics, religions, etc. Yet, the arguments right now, even amongst awakening and spiritual people that are more oriented to higher timelines, are surprisingly degrading down into exchanging personal insults, accusations of being ‘hijacked’ or ‘influenced’ by dark forces, not ‘getting it’ and not really being awakened and so on. Even amongst those who believe in and are creating the same timelines together (such as the Q movement), are attacking each other with infighting and putdowns and ‘calling each other out for being fakes’ becoming more common.

As an ambassador of love, I have been guided to ‘go into’ some of these battlegrounds even as they make me feel uncomfortable. These battlefields are so often, in our modern age, the comments sections of posts on social media and other places online. I have been stunned breathless at times at how cruel, degrading, and insulting people can be to each other. It hurts my heart to feel it as so often there is a deeper pain and fear there in the person that isn’t getting felt and CAN’T be with so much outer focused protection, defence, and judgemental energies going out.

I was feeling this too as a peak time for triggering the collective Inner Punisher/Critic frequencies and the Inner Punisher within each of us. The Inner Punisher is often ‘stuck’ in the polarized energies of judgement without love, which is often an internalized protection created to ‘fend off’ and acclimate to very judgemental energies coming toward them in the 3D experience, especially if it came from parents and birth family. The Inner Punisher is essentially a part that forms as a survival strategy and defense/protection in 3D. Empaths/sensitives/star seeds tend to have Inner Punishers that focus the judgement inward in extreme self criticism, self doubt, and low self worth rather than focusing it outward on others.

The Inner Punisher’s energy actually shifts to compassionate discernment as they are connected to in a conscious way through the SoulFullHeart process. I have experienced hundreds of previously ‘dark and judgy’ Inner Punishers shift into the noble, humble, and beautiful energies of intuitive discernment once they are ‘forgiven’ for their previous judgements and pain they have caused. Once this part of you is seen and loved with a compassionate heart by you, they can shift into being a vital member of your ‘inner’ team.

The current circumstances are triggering the Inner Punishers it feels like because the 3D/4D Matrix programs us to judge ourselves and others at a very young age. So much in 3D has been fueled by these judgemental energies. When part of us judges us or others, it immediately lowers our frequency. There is also necessary truth seeking and questioning going on right now for those in 3D and those moving into deeper levels of 4D Disclosure awakening. Clarity is being sought and informational sources are being looked to outside of the mainstream offerings. When that is primarily happening toward outside sources, there is less embodiment of your inner truth, your soul’s knowledge, and your own intuition. Yet, outside sources CAN mirror this inner knowing if they are looked at in that way.

If a Punisher part of someone is looking to an outside source though for THE truth, there will be an inner revolt going on, a personal sovereignty boundary that is breeched, an inner and outer rebellion, if you will. Feelings of resonance or dissonance with that outside source can create quite a lot of reactions inside for the Inner Punisher, who isn’t sure how to digest it. If that outer source of information is ALSO fused to their Inner Punisher (which is often the case it seems), then Inner Punisher meets outer Punisher and that is a recipe for contention, infighting, and judgemental projections both inside and outside. The Punisher Truthteller actually elicits feelings of shame and unworthiness in those who are taking in their truth…their energy is often angry, righteous and doesn’t see any other view than their own.

If you are taking in someone else’s truth and you are triggered into feelings of shame or unworthiness or even feeling ‘stupid’ for not knowing something or believing something, part of you is most likely reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else. Your Inner Punisher may also be reacting to the Inner Punisher in someone else which brings up feelings of fighting and defending. Outside sources more anchored to higher frequencies can activate inspiration, inviting you to explore and land in YOUR own truth, yet not make you feel BAD or wrong about yourself.

Energies that make you question yourself in a judgmental way are rampant right now. For some souls, this is effective to help them start questioning life and reality. Yet, for those who are very sensitive to energies, the empaths/star seeds/healers of the world, these judgemental energies are difficult to navigate. I feel that I have to carefully track how much of these energies I take in as, while I am curious to feel and take in the timelines going on right now in the collective (again as an ambassador of love I feel it is important that I do so), I don’t want the information at the ‘cost’ of feeling judged and ‘kicked at’ as I no longer have these punishing energies inside of me.

These energies flying around do offer an opportunity to connect with your Inner Punisher and the part of you (usually an Inner Child) that feels shame reactions from them. This meditation helps you to connect with your Inner Punisher and Shame: https://youtu.be/3XvxkuX9YYs

True Divine essence doesn’t judge you or others or condemn or punish. The Divine, especially the Divine Mother expression, is holding much love for humanity as go through our Valley Of Shadows Of Death process to emerge into the light. Connect with Divine energies that feel supportive, loving, and compassionate and they can support you to find your own truth grounding in your soul’s path and process. These loving Divine energies can begin the process of inner forgiveness and activation of inner knowing that can help your Inner Punisher transmute and heal.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/freetobe

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. Jelelle is no longer offering 1:1 sessions yet for more information about  1:1 individual sessions with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls with Jelelle, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Inner Punisher And Shame Healing Guided Meditation: Video Seven Deepen 2020 Series W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

In this seventh video of my video series called Deepen 2020, I (Jelelle Awen, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator) talk about the often intense and largely subconscious relationship between an Inner Punisher part and a corresponding shame reaction in another part (usually an Inner Child or Inner Teenager). This dynamic of Punisher and shame creates a suffering loop that can lower your vibrational frequency, draw MORE judgement/shame from others in relationships, and diverts wisdom into judgements rather than discernment/intuitions felt with love.

I share about my own deep process to heal this Punisher-Shame loop inside myself (which was an internalized dynamic from my caregivers) and how I no longer experience these frequencies inside myself. I talk about WHY this dynamic exists and what the purpose of the Punisher-Shame loop is and it’s this investigation that allows you to ultimately offer compassion towards the parts that are involved in it.

In the guided meditation, I bridge to your Inner Punisher with Mother Mary and Yeshua, who provide a compassionate and forgiving energy of illumination and love to this part of you who can start to feel their essence as discernment and wisdom. We then tune into the part of you that is responding and triggered into shame in response to the Punisher’s judgement. We offer love to this shame-filled part so that they can start to feel their TRUE essence of innocence and goodness again.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher, which is a good place to start before doing this video: https://youtu.be/SXlufQ_WBUU

Thank you for joining me in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2020 playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu

You can watch videos from my previous 33 Day Deepen series from 2019 here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support me and SoulFullHeart to continue providing free offerings such as this video series.

You can donate through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen or become a one-time or regular patreon donor: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This video series serves as an introduction and bridge to the powerful SoulFullHeart quantum healing process and cutting-edge way of life experienced and offered through 1:1 sessions with Jelelle for women and women and men with Raphael Awen and group calls/events/writings and more. For more information, visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Healing The Violence Inside To Become A Beacon Of Peace

By Jelelle Awen

Fear can live in your bones, in your DNA, in parts of you vibrating at trauma frequencies in your emotional body. Fear can live in your Metasoul in many timelines, in your aspects that are warriors, victims, and the range in-between.

This fear comes out in ALL kinds of ways and expressions.

It comes out in tensions, panics, and anxieties. It projects and closes down/blocks open-hearted experience and transaction with others. It brings your frequency lower. Parts of you may shiver and quiver with it, sinking to a place where things seem untrustworthy, hurtful and harmful, non-vulnerable, dark and shadowy.

We are ancient with fear, beyond time ingrained and trained. We are gestating embryos in our mother’s womb swimming in fear fluids. The 3D matrix has been built and run on fear fuel, fed and maintained by violence – both within and outward – violence is the lowest vibrational frequency of fear.

So many eat fear every day through animals that have been killed. Violence has become entertainment, so many souls on an IV drip of violence coming in, numbing them or eliciting outrage at the INjustice, which is just more violence in a shifted form.

Lifting UP beyond violence begins from within. It starts with becoming aware of the battles within, the harm done from one part of you to another…a Punisher Part of you beating up younger parts of you until shame floods your BEing with the suffering patterns and loops this creates.

Loving the Inner Punisher energy and learning WHY it is like this….you weep, then, at how this punishing-shame frequency is just learned and necessary and not really who you ARE. You feel how it has served to make you small, to help you fit in, to keep you ‘capped’ and plugged into 3D life. You are ready to be lifted out of it to transmute the punishment to discernment and intuition with love. To heal the shame into innocence again.

As this inner violence heals, you can come, more and more, from non-violent frequencies in response to others. You become less tolerant to violence in any form…..even sensitive to the subtle frequencies found in comparison, contention, and judgements made with love withheld.

You lift UP, then, as you stop eating, watching, BEing violence and become MORE love. You shift your focus from violence outside of you and discover, find, and feel where it lives inside.

You become, then, a beacon of peace.

BEcoming a beacon of peace is the openness to feel the violence, the battles, the clashes inside.

BEcoming a beacon of peace is more space being cleared in your emotional body to make room for your higher heart, your angelic heart, your Christ Consciousness heart, your Mother Mary heart….made of Infinite Kindness, Infinite Peace…..with no longer any need for fear!

BEcoming a beacon of peace is unplugging from the 3D matrix that has fed you fear your whole existence and experiencing what it is be truly free of it.

You ARE a beacon of peace….as you become it from the inside out!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher: https://youtu.be/SXlufQ_WBUU

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Loving UP Your Body-Vessel

by Kalayna Solais

It has become so important to love the body beyond any measurements, beyond any sense of “not good enough”, beyond any shame once held by parts of you about looking this way instead of that way.

For years parts of me have judged and battled with my body and body image. They have especially struggled with accepting my legs, which have always been bigger, and my tendency to yo-yo a bit in my weight.

Parts of me have judged themselves for eating emotionally, for continuing to make food mean ‘love’ somehow. They have struggled so much over the years with relating to food more so as survival and even something not as necessary as we are taught it is.

Even in this world of spirituality and Ascension consciousness, there is a tendency for parts of us to judge the body for not yet being ‘light body’ worthy or for going through the many changes and shifts it needs to go through as we continue to transition into crystalline forms.

The body reflects the emotional reality, always, and this manifests in so many different ways, giving us so much valuable information to be with and digest.

These judgements come often from an Inner Punisher part inside of you that is concerned about sticking out, about you inhabiting your leadership, about Ascension on all levels.

For more about the Inner Punisher, here is a video from Jelelle where she also leads a guided meditation to connect with this part of you:

They criticize and poke because it means love to them somehow. It helps them feel empowered, ironically, because in the judgements of self is a defense against judgements from others. A preemptive strike within that hurts you first before someone else can hurt you. Wow. It might sound convoluted but if you really feel this one, it’s very true, and often unaddressed or felt through with love and self-compassion. The Inner Punisher does not respond well to more punishment… this energy can only transmute with love.

Here is a guided meditation co-created by Gabriel and I, narrated by Gabriel, that you could use as another tool to connect with this part of you:

This part is so ingrained in our 3D Self that it’s become natural to feel the punishment that becomes a white noise in our lives, always sort of there yet so naturalized we hardly notice how much it’s bringing our frequency down. This is so one of the major pieces that needs to shift into love in the 3D Self before this Self, this version of you, can really start to integrate and move into higher frequencies consistently.

I’m sharing this photo today because it hallmarks a new beginning for me and an outing too.

I no longer want to subscribe to the adage of needing to look a certain way and I don’t want parts of me to feel this way about themselves either.

I no longer want to hide how my body looks because it doesn’t comply with typical beauty standards.

I suspect my body will continue to go through more changes through my own personal Ascension process and to truly be IN it without feeling like I have to force it to be one way or another in order to be worthy of anyone’s love let alone my own, is my deepest intention in this moment.

Our bodies are part of our Ascension journey… to honour and love them UP, even as they are now, is so, so important.

Much love to you and YOUR beautiful vessel too! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Loving Your Inner Beast

By Raianna Shai

Self judgement and unworthiness are feelings that are hard to reach the root of. It can take years of unraveling just why and how we truly see ourselves and how it plays out in our lives. We can point fingers at all the people who made us feel small. The people who judged us. The people who could never forgive our mistakes. The people who invalidated our feelings.

But what about the part of you that has done all the same things? The part that tells you you’re not good enough. That constantly reminds you of your mistakes. That judges every move you make, every awkward thing you do. What if this part of you wasn’t just judging you, but judging itself? And what if all the hate and anger and insults were just this part’s way of trying to protect you? We are not victims to our circumstances, so anyone or anything that hurts you is a reflection of a part inside that hurts you too.

I’ve been working with this part of me lately, which can be called a Punisher part, to feel how and why my insecurity can get in the way of my own self love and how it affects my relationships. His name is Brutus and he sees himself as a beast – like in Beauty and the Beast. And all of the goodness that lives inside me can be represented by a rose covered in a glass case. He is fiercely loyal and strives to protect this rose by any means necessary. But his version of protection is to judge her until she does everything perfectly – then no one else can judge her.

This part of me is not easy to feel. He is harsh, brutal and very unforgiving. Every person that has ever gotten mad at me, judged me, or insulted me has actually been backed up by him. He takes everything that was said or felt about me and multiplies it by 10. He expects me to do better, he feels ashamed for how I acted or things I said, he punishes me for doing something wrong.

So instead of using the knowledge and intuition he has about my emotions to protect me, he actually just makes me feel worse about it. But one thing I’ve learned is that he just wants love himself. In his vulnerability, he feels so much remorse for how he has made other parts of me feel about themselves and in turn, other people. He feels he doesn’t deserve love or forgiveness.

But the second me and all parts of me truly forgave him, he started to shift massively. He turned into a prince and he could feel all that he has to offer. Intuition, discernment, and a healthy protection and transparency about how I’m really feeling.

So when I am feeling unworthiness or when there is a truth I need to say to someone, I can call on him and his opened out heart to say what I need to say. Instead of letting my hurt build up and explode out, we will work together to be honest and loving to ourselves and others. Because kindness cannot come from an empty vessel. We must cultivate it within ourselves so deeply, that we can’t help but overflow into others.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation – DAY 19: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY NINETEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Inner Punisher Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen

This is day nineteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, I introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime. Your Inner Punisher is an energy that has formed due to receiving punishment and criticism in this life….usually from a caregiver, teacher, mate, etc. It also forms in response to the dualistic judging in 3D consciousness. Most Inner Punishers of empathic and sensitive people direct the punishment frequencies inward rather than outward at others, although both can be true. Directing the energies inward is a self protection strategy.

The Inner Punisher has a relationship with your Inner Child/Inner Teenager in that it punishes/judges and then there is a corresponding shame/unworthiness reaction from the younger parts of you. It is this punishment and shame loop that is often at the root of much self suppression and staying small patterns in relationships, vocations/soul purpose expression, body image, etc.

The Inner Punisher shifts from making judgements without love and care to the capacity to offer discernments WITH love and bring direct truths WITH compassion. These are very important abilities as we move into our service of love self and serving others.

In the meditation today, Yeshua and Mother Mary provide us with lots of compassionate love as we journey to meet your Inner Punisher. You connect first with your Inner Protector to gain access to this part. Then you connect with the energy of your Inner Punisher and discover what their world looks and feel like so you can begin to create a loving buffer between them and your younger parts.

Thank you for joining me on this nineteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of Your Parts/Metasoul Aspects

Note from Jelelle Awen: This is beautiful writing from Devon, who has been in sessions with me for the last few months. She describes wonderfully what it is like to connect with different aspects of yourself (the Inner Punisher and Gatekeeper esp.) and see/feel your world through their lens. You can viscerally feel the energies of these different aspects of her through the sharing of their experience and poetry too. Go here to read more about these parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

By Devon Heart Star

As I continue the process of parts work that I have dedicated myself to, during the holiday season, it has become clear that my Inner Punisher needs the most undivided attention and love from me, right now. The Inner Punisher is often a masculine energy and working with this part is similar to Shadow Work. This is not work for the faint of heart and I often want to give up! But my Soul or Higher Self has done so much work with me and continues to support me coming more into Love, that it’s truly impossible to quit.

It’s almost like each part of me has its own pair of glasses it gets to put in front of my eyes, and that is how I experience my 3D life, from the emotional eyes of each of these parts’ feelings, depending upon who’s energy has been pushed up for the most immediate attention. Once I learn about each part and actually get to feel them, giving them space from being fused to me or taking over me, powerful relationships, love, and trust, can begin within, with each of them. And this creates the space for my 4D and 5D and beyond Self to begin to emerge or descend or ascend or settle in. It’s all a very personal experience, yet has a commonality for most people drawn to this work. Eventually, I get to know when I am wearing the glasses that my Heart/Higher Self desires to wear; those of love and vulnerability, and I can continue to practice looking at my various parts with those Heart glasses, offering them the love they are longing for from me.

Back to today’s work with my Inner Punisher, Oscar. In a moment of clarity, when he was feeling safe and loved by me, he showed himself as Oscar the Grouch. I thought it was pretty funny and spot-on, so he took the name Oscar, right about the time I was going to see The Grinch movie. Both of them are green monsters who turned their back on love because of the grief they experienced in not receiving the love they so desired as children. Oscar feels safer being able to retreat into his dark can, where he still believes he deserves to be and is safe from making others angry. When he is in full-swing mode, he is the underlying pair of glasses I don’t even know I’m wearing, the voice within that speaks to me harshly, judges myself and others harshly, at times, although that is just another reason to punish himself, and basically sabotages before we can be sabotaged by someone else.

We have another significant part who seems to offer an escape hatch for Oscar when Oscar feels like his monster-self cannot be loved and the pain of that too much to bear. My Gatekeeper, Jonathan, has had a strong place in my world since my teen years, even though most people do not experience their Gatekeeper until they first really dive deep into parts work. I didn’t know him as the Gatekeeper until parts work, but he was working with me all these years, as I traveled to other dimensions and experienced alternate realities, so to speak. The energies from this would, of course, overwhelm me, physically, but I never could seem to stop them. I am still learning about my relationship with Jonathan and about his connection to Oscar, as he offers him portals and worm holes, and massive amounts of information from other timelines when his emotions become too big for this world. Anyway, Jonathan offered up some wisdom (as he is a most excellent timeless wisdom channel) that I wanted to share:

Forgiveness is a ceremony
Not an act
Self-forgiveness is a ritual
Not just a word
Cultivating forgiveness requires darkness
Diving straight into
the darkest canyons
and depths within
It requires a strength that is so soft
it can tread across
the fires of the Heart
with a willingness to burn up in the attempt
Forgiveness is no small act
You’ll have to face parts of you
that you fear most
who will mirror your courage
in their pleading gaze
You’ll need to bring your biggest light
and that divine part of you
who has no fears
Because cultivating self-forgiveness
creates the bridge
for everyone to come home to love

Thank you, Jonathan!

Everyone can relate to experiencing the Inner Punisher energy and the deep desire to heal within. I’ve learned so much and continue this invaluable process with Jelelle Awen, co-creator of and many other amazing titles at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can get one-to-one very full sessions with her or other wonderful facilitators, find out more at soulfullheartwayoflife.com
I love this heart tribe 💜

 

How To Be The ‘I’ Of Your Inner Storm

I am going back into my writing vault to bring back a series I did about art and my healing journey. It was a time of going deep into the bowels of my pain and using a charcoal stick to bring out what was lying within. Though the subject matter looks and feels unsavory, the light of a new awareness and relationship to myself was unmistakable. It has taken the time it has taken, but it all began with a movement, a choice, and a desire to own and love my pain. What I am now discovering as my inner feminine seeking her place within the court, and core, of my heart.

You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to simply draw what you feel. It is energy and energy expresses itself in a multitude of ways that doesn’t always look like something in particular. The stick figures I drew were perfect for what I needed to express what I was feeling. If I let a punishing or critical voice expect something more I would not have gotten to the real purpose of the drawing.

This one specifically centered around the inner critical voice I had at the time. It was one that had been with me for as long as could remember and does come out at times to be felt. This was an energy that I deeply desired to tap into as it created extreme energy drops and reactive fusions. As we awaken to the largess of our being, we inevitably wake up our inner demons and dragons. The way we relate to them is what brings about the deepest change. Here is a guided meditation I did to meet and love your inner critic/punisher:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cTe6ayIAWk

When this energy would come up it would kick up all my other parts inside me and whirl through me like a tornado wreaking havoc. I did not see that at the time but needed the eyes and open heart of another (through Jelelle and Raphael) to reflect that back to me so that I let that in because I WAS the tornado and not the ‘I’ of the storm. If you wish to read more you can go here:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/healing-art-day-1-critical…/

Art is a powerful tool to access the nooks and treasure troves of our heart and soul. It is the feminine act of creation and intuition that births the mirror of what it is that we are meant to look at and receive with our heart-eyes. It is not just drawing but any form of creative expression that is the gift of our humanity to cultivate and explore to the depths of our being. If you are curious to feel more into the integration and exploration of your own creative healing journey, please contact me or visit the link below. It is a journey that promises to take you to where you need to go, not necessarily where parts of you may expect to go.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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