Month: July 2015

W: Hello Divine Father.

DF: Hello Wayne.

W: Thank you, Father, for being so readily available and heart open. That’s what I feel from you when I say hello, and receive your hello in return.

DF: I’m so glad that’s true for you. You know, the hardest thing about having an abundance of love and wanting to share it is finding hearts for it to be received into, and felt.

W: I’m glad that’s true for me too, and I feel how there is also room for it to be more true. In the midst of deep change, I need a way to feel through my reactions, what I need, and what I miss.

DF: What do you miss, Wayne?

W: I know I miss some of the old familiar at times. For me, that had to do with finding comfort in going to a coffee shop, or a bakery, in the midst of a busy town or city. I miss earning money, and simply buying what we wanted or needed. I miss clothes and shoe shopping, for sure.

 

DF: It’s natural and normal that you attached to things and found comfort in them in your life in Canada.

W: And Father, it wasn’t that those things were so deeply fulfilling. Actually, more often, I was trying to fill a deeper need when I reached out for those comforts. Those deeper needs are what followed me here to Mexico.

DF: What does it feel like those deeper needs are?

W: So much of what we talked about already…, intimacy inside of real community, feeling connected to the divine, feeling a resonant lifestyle with what really matters.

DF: Wayne, shut out, if you can, just now, your awareness of anyone else reading this, and see if you can answer the question again. What does it feel like your deeper needs are?

W: I want to feel unique. I want to feel special. I want to feel sought after and wanted. I want to feel supported, guided and mostly, I want to feel love.

DF: There, you got it, much better. Now, imagine yourself feeling wave upon wave of those good feelings.

W: Okay, I’m doing that.

DF: Now, tell me about the things you miss again.

W: Wow, Okay, Father, that’s trippy. Every one of them I can feel was a wanting to address these deeper needs.

DF: What did the coffee shop or bakery represent?

W: People gathering together, bringing their appetites, partaking of life’s goodness.

DF: And what did clothes shopping represent?

W: Feeling myself as special, and attractive, and unique.

DF: …And how about the earning money part?

W: Feeling myself as powerful.

DF: Now, tell me, if these things that you miss ever gave you what you actually wanted or needed?

W: They really didn’t, Father. I can feel what they did was give me a way to manage my disappointment around not getting these needs met.

DF: We need to stop right here, Wayne, and feel what a milestone this moment of realization is. These don’t come along very often.

W: Wow, so what I actually miss doesn’t have anything to do with deep fulfillments, but more to do with the mechanisms that helped me manage a deep unfulfillment.

DF: And what else does it tell you about you?

W: That I settled for that.

DF: Exactly, until of course you didn’t.

W: Which brings us to the present.

DF: So what then is the alive and healthy present?

W: It’s a willingness to feel my actual un-fulfillment, rather than seeking to manage it.

DF: Yes, a willingness to feel fluent with something, to use your words; your ache for uniqueness, specialness, support, being sought after and loved. Wayne, the doorway to fulfillment is feeling your unfulfillment.

W: I still somehow have it wired up Father, that the goal is feeling deep enjoyment or pleasure, and that something is wrong with me if I’m not there.

DF: Wayne, feeling deep joy and pleasure doesn’t do well as a goal to be achieved. The better goal to attain is being willing to feel what your actual needs are. Only a willingness to feel your actual needs and wants can ever lead to a true and deep fulfillment of them.

W: So, Father, why am I resistive to feeling my actual needs?

DF: …you, and the rest of your kind, Wayne. This is the challenge of humanity. What can you feel about this resistance?

W: It feels like the key to my humanity. If I am surrendered to being human, then my deepest humanity is expressed in feeling my deepest needs. Animals are so much happier with so much less because their needs are so much less.

DF: And what then does feeling the things you miss from life in Canada feel like now?

W: It feels like a part of me is in negotiation with me about letting in more of what I really want, and when this part of me is feeling resistant to that, it actually yearns for what it was familiar with and even frames that as better than what it has now.

DF: Well said. Now, what does going forward look like?

W: It’s really about feeling what real need is surfacing when a missing feeling is up for me. Feel the part of me in resistance, see if we can come to terms with letting in new and more love; more of what we most deeply want.

DF: This is the real enlightenment that the universe is offering now, Wayne. It’s not a flood of light, where someone becomes permanently in a state of joy or happiness. Rather, it’s an en-light-en-ment of making one’s burdens light. In the words of Yeshua, ‘my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ The crazy heavy and impossible burden is trying to get your deepest needs met through something short of feeling what you are actually wanting.

W: Part of me is amazed that it’s taken this much and this long, Father, to come to this juncture.

DF: I understand that feeling, Wayne, but what else is there that’s worth more?

W: Nothing at all really, Father. Me coming into more and more of being at home in me, in the divine, in my relationship with others and all of life is really just another way of saying what I said earlier.

DF: Which was?…

W: Which is that what I really want is to know and feel loved, special, unique, wanted.

DF: If there was something to set up a communion table of rememberance for, Wayne, this would be it. You’d do well to never ever forget this one.

W: Thank you, Divine Father. My needs are met to overflowing again.

DF: You’re welcome and thank you. Thank you for receiving my love.

 

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.

 

W: Hello Divine Father

DF: Hey Wayne, How are you?

W: Pretty good.

DF: What’s going on?

W: Well, yesterday I prepared an email to an old friend that I haven’t been in contact with for a long time about inviting him to begin reconnecting and to check out our Soulfullheart Community. I had some reactions to that and I’d like to feel them through with you.

DF: Sounds good, Wayne, go ahead.

W: Well, I led with transparency and vulnerability like we talked about. That felt really good. Then, part of me definitely felt how what I am inviting him into is a complete overhaul of his life.

DF: Say more about the reactions?

W: A big reaction for a part of me was feeling how strange we must seem to people. We hold a picture of present and coming collapse of industrial society, and have divested of our reality inside of the money-suburban-industrial world. Also, we live off grid on the ranch here which alone has very few takers, given the ease and luxury of industrial society that is still to be had. Then there is how we relate to each other and ourselves through the picture of parts or sub-selves, and the deep intimacy we share. It all adds up to one big off grid reality.

DF: I so feel how strange this all can feel looking at it through the eyes of others. But tell me, does it feel strange to you?

W: No it doesn’t. It just feels like life as I know it. There have been and are still ongoing adjustments, but it doesn’t feel foreign or strange to me.

DF: Good. I’m glad that you feel that at home inside of you. In one way, Wayne, any leader is a leader because they lead into the strange and unfamiliar. Leaders lead into the gap of between where they have gone and the person they are leading hasn’t. There’s a difference between only seeking a friendship and seeking to lead as well as be in a frienship, and it’s tricky to embrace both.

W: I can so feel, Father, how what I want is both. But what part of me struggles with is: does my leadership and passion for something get in the way of true friendship arising?

DF: Having a deep leadership and passion in your heart and life IS you. You can’t somehow exclude that side of you and be in a friendship. You were feeling that lately how offering yourself as a painter in exchange for money no longer works for you, and rightly so. You outgrew a very comfortable box, and now you can’t fit back in. That was your choice. No one forced that on you. You changed you, irreversibly. That’s scary, no doubt, until all of you catches up with the new reality and deconstructs the trailing conditioning and familiarities of the old reality, but you led this, Wayne, no one else. It may have come to you through the instrumentation of others, but even that was a product of your choices. This is who you are now, and any one that is drawn to you will naturally resonate around the same values as you.

W: What I hear you saying is that I can’t shrink myself to something that I’m not, and I can’t apologize for being that either. In one way, I am selling something, but not with insincere motives. I have the opportunity, if I want it, to be leading something centered in my heart, where I can be so transparent about what I am offering and why I want someone else to embrace it, so in my center, without even a shred of hiding any aspect of what I am offering, what it costs, and the benefits it brings me and them.

DF: So how does that make you feel?

W: It makes me feel empowered. I get to be fully me. That changes everything. Those who don’t resonate won’t take a bunch of my life and theirs to find that out. Those who do resonate will resonate because I was as clearly me as I was, without hiding.

DF: Yeah, man.

W: I wished I could write a song about now.

DF: I know a really good black rapper.

W: Would you talk to him about me?

DF: Sure thing, Man….

There’s a guy called Wayne.

He wanna end the pain,

No fuckin’ around

playin’ facebook pretend

with 5 thousand friends.

 

W: Don’t let me stop you…

DF: Leave it with me, man, leave it with me.

W: Thank you Divine Father. You so help me catch up with myself.

DF: I get that. You’re welcome, man. Sacred you-man.

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.

Note To Readers: It’s Christopher and Divine Father today, Not Wayne

C: Buenas tardes, Father.

DF: Buenas tardes, mijo. Como estas?

C: I just woke up from a nap. Feeling a little groggy but I really wanted to journal with you. I have nothing specific up but I wanted to talk just the same.

DF: I enjoy our conversation whether we go deep into feeling or not. I love that you are open to connecting with me without needing to be in crisis to do so.

C: Yeah, me too, Father. I remember in Santa Rosa always talking at you when I would go hiking, rather than talking with you like I am now. Feels so much more satisfying and it touches my heart not just my mind.

DF: It takes some guidance, modeling, and practice for many. Just like others may read these words and feel inspired to do so. But what is the most important is what is transacting between you and me, Christopher. I love you very much and my heart is filled with joy when we talk. I really do mean that.

C: Thank you so much, Father. I can’t image you say anything that isn’t full of meaning, that is why am so touched. It is why I keep wanting to connect with you just as I did Mother when I was journaling with Her. I can feel how a part of me always feels like there needs to me some content to talk about, but what I am just getting that maybe it is just feeling our love for each other that matters.

DF: The words are just a way to get to that very thing, Christopher. They are the means to feel each other in loving exchange. This is not a one way street, mijo. I receive more from you than you can possibly imagine.

C: That is still hard to let in sometimes, Father, but I am getting there. I am beginning to feel you as not just some far off entity but an energy that is sitting right with me as I type and also when I am not. I like that.

DF: That is all I have ever wanted with anyone, Christopher. To be felt in that way. I don’t want to be relegated to the heavens. I want to be here with you, next to you, around you, and inside you. I want to be a true Father to you in all the ways you need me to be that brings you to your most beautiful alive self. I want to feel that take root in all my children, especially my sons. Oh, my sons.

C: I feel an ache in that, Father.

DF: Yes, thank you for acknowledging that. Even I have pain. Mother and I are not just about Joy. We experience pain for everyone everyday.

C: What is it about your sons that you feel pain about, Father.

DF: I feel how hardened they have become. So closed off to their true humanity in the name of ‘manliness’. The need to compete with each other instead of cooperate. The need control all aspects of their life rather than being in trust and play. The need to destroy rather than living in balance. The killing of each other over there perceived righteousness. There is so much goodness in all men, if they could just feel me and how much I love them, I could give all they didn’t get and needed when they were a child. Even though I know there is a greater purpose to this condition, it still pains me to feel all the self-hatred, unworthiness, and abuse toward each other. But it is the arising relationship with those like you and Wayne that give me so much hope and faith that we, the sacred masculine, will find our way to a place of true heart and soul connection. That there will be a calvary of men to lead humanity into a new world centered and grounded in the heart, the soul, and the earth.

C: Wow. I want that as much for me as I do for you, Father. My heart just balooned and swelled as you said those words. I guess the big question for me is what does this ‘sacred masculine’ look and feel like?

DF: What would you like it to look and feel like?

C: Hmmm…you put me on the spot. I feel how I would like men to drop the machismo bullshit for starters. I don’t want men to consider each other in some narrow frame. That if you don’t fit in that narrow frame you are judged as this or that. I want the frame to widen but not to a point of any behaviour being considered sacred. I want men to feel sacred, Father. How can there be sacred masculine without the Sacred?

DF: Kind of a big criterion if you ask me.

C: I would think you would. Okay, so I would like men to feel their dad wounds with other heart open men to help heal the machismo thing. It has to be man to man or else it doesn’t get to move. From this healing I feel a much healthier relationship between men, one in which we can conflict with each other without pulling out a piece so solve it.

DF: That IS the healing right there, isn’t it Christopher? The dad wound. Hard to get to the true Sacred with that elephant in the room. But that elephant is a golden one. It comes with a ton of gifts and love. It is just so hard for men to see that as a possibility. The desire to face their wounds as a source of true power. Men, as a result of their dad wounds, are searching for power and control because they were stripped of it as a child. They were also not given the love they needed to feel fully accepted in the world as a man and so they are out there defining there own ‘man’ without respect for how that affects others. It takes a really courageous person to want to go there, but I know they are there. They just need to feel there are others out there speaking the gospel of the wounded male with an open heart and a desire to help.

C: I couldn’t agree more, Father. As I started my SoulFullHeart process and began to work with Wayne, I could feel how foreign and awkward it was to a part of me, but also how desirable and needed at the same time. A part of me needed to feel the heart of a healthy man to bring me to my wound and feel it together in real time. Now I can be a dad to my own parts and the healing can continue.

DF: It is a real gift that SoulFullHeart offers that. To be able to be a dad to your male and female parts is the path to self-love. What men need most is self-love. They really don’t like themselves because their dad didn’t like themselves either. It is a tragic legacy that is being handed down generation after generation and it just spreads and grows like a cancer in the soul of man. I don’t see how we reach all men before something tragic happens, but to be there for any man both before and after will be a powerful act of transformation and evolution. Thy Will be done.

C: Amen, Father. I love feeling this with you and I would like to continue it. I have some watering to do but we can reconnect later and feel more.

DF: Yes, please Christopher. It is a urgent topic, one that will find its way into the hearts that are ready to hear and feel it. I will meet you there. Wanna race? : )

C: Uh, no. Nice try.

DF: Hahaha! I will hop on one foot, how’s that?

C: Very funny. See you up there.

Christopher Tydeman is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.

W: Hello Divine Father.

DF: Hello Wayne, what’s going on today?

W: Well, I got laid off from the painting job that I was putting some time into as the people decided they needed to do it themselves. So my little foray into some painting post retirement seems to be have come to an end.

DF: And what was there to feel in that for you, or Tristan?

W: It feels like the time of seeking to find our way in life by extending myself out to others with a paintbrush is really fully winding down. For Tristan, it had felt like a way to earn some pesos. It hurt some for him to lose that, felt more like having it taken away, in the moment. But as I felt it through with him, he so gets that it’s time for this to move and transmute inside of him too. He would like to see us earn our keep through our deeper gifts, rather than a skill I took on 3 plus decades ago. So him and I are on the same page and feeling trust and that it was the universes way of leading.

DF: I almost feel like I need to apologize to Tristan, Wayne. With all that you, me and him moved and spoke about in these dialogues, it picks up the pace of things.

W: He felt that with me too and assured me that he wanted and realized it was time to let go of painting, that to hang onto it would be a resistance to what is being asked of us now. Showing up for someone as a painter is quite a different frequency than showing up for someone as a healer, and a community leader. We were both feeling that growing stretch, which is really a growing dis-integration, or disintegrity, if you will, where something has to give.

DF: And so the universe tapped on your shoulder, and restructured a few things.

W: Yes, it did, Father. Just like I wanted and just like I asked for and just like you said to be on the lookout for.

DF: And while all of that is true, that doesn’t mean there aren’t still things to feel when it does show up. Some part of you is going to have a bunch to digest.

W: I’ll keep feeling it all, but for now, I feel trusting and like it’s right on time. I went to bed last night after reading yesterday’s dialogue to Christopher and Jillian like we do every night at dinner, and was feeling new energy moving though all of us around community. I could feel that energy in my sleep, and then I woke with it too. I can feel premonitions of things changing.

DF: I feel premonitions of things changing for you too, Wayne.

W: Like what, Father?

DF: Well, with what we talked about yesterday, and you saying you were ready to show up for, what words did we put around it, something about ‘rooted and grounded empowerment in your alchemy, having to do with leadership’…, you can’t talk that way and not stir up change.

W: I hope it’s the kind of change I like.

DF: Well, Wayne, whether you like it or not has more to do with how you respond to it and feel it. Just like Tristan had things to feel to let go of today, there can be disappointment. But with your healthy wanter, I trust that you will find the universe is benevolent in the changes it brings and that it’s in line with your heart and souls’ alchemy, and nothing you can’t handle.

W: Nothing to play victim to here, is there, Father?

DF: Nope, not at all. Just the opposite, there’s new stuff to respond to, to show up for and find your way with.

W: In line with that energy, Father, what I was feeling last night after our dialogue, when you talked about what naturally comes after we do our homework of feeling all of our reactions, was a piece about the action steps that arise from that, For me, in line with that, what’s coming is inviting others into our community here at the ranch.

DF: I like it.

W: Really? Why?

DF: Well, for one thing, it would be shrinking and hiding for you not to be inviting. And for another thing, you’ve gone to all the trouble to set the table and plan the banquet, it’s just what comes next.

W: I went through a phase, Father, of feeling a push-pull around inviting, like I was in some kind of sales or marketing energy, or maybe more accurately, not wanting to be seen as in a sales or marketing energy.

DF: Why?

W: I think it has to do with whenever I’ve taken initiative and invited people into something, there was something that I wasn’t being as vulnerable about as I could have been, or fully honest about, and I felt something off about that. Then it also had to do with feeling the hurt if the person wasn’t interested in what I was offering.

DF: Want to look at both of those together?

W: I’d like that.

DF: This isn’t about fixing anything in you, Wayne. It’s just about supporting your intuition and your guidance with some spine and courage to take action. Okay?

W: Okay.

DF: Good. Now, vulnerability, honesty, and ‘full disclosure,’ I think they call it, the idea being of not hiding anything that might be a disincentive to the person buying. The transparency is what really makes for a sound deal because it dissolves any pretense that might be forming or functioning in the relationship. The challenge of community is to thin out the pretense in relationships that people consider normal, and even natural. It may be normal, but it’s far from natural.

W: I think you just reminded me why I’m drawn to community, Father. I want to go deeper into relating without pretense. Years ago, I read a book by a guy who said adamantly that the source of all stress is lying and pretense. Somehow, those words sum up an entire spiritual growth trajectory for me.

DF: And for the human race too, Wayne. It’s a race to be real.

W: Like a competition kind of race where the best man or woman wins?

DF: No, more like a progress, or a swiftly moving current where everyone wins together.

W: Plenty of room for us to grow in that.

DF: Totally. If someone isn’t feeling the challenge of transparency and emotional honesty in their relating, they aren’t actually safe to relate with. Human consciousness is getting that more and more, with people sensing a sham much quicker, but this growth in humanity needs to be led on it’s leading edge by people willing to embody it in their relating, with a bar set much higher.

W: Talk about etching something into human consciousness.

DF: And no other way to do that, than in community. Humanity is community.

And what was the other piece we were going to look at Wayne? Yes, the fear of rejection. You invite, and the person is indifferent or doesn’t even respond. Does that cover it?

W: Exactly.

DF: What would you say about that, Wayne?

W: Hmmm. So, if I am inviting in this way you are describing, with transparency and vulnerability, then I am offering my best gift, and reason would offer that maybe I should offer something less in case it’s not accepted, or wanted, to lessen the pain of rejection. I mean, that’s kind of been the standard human deal, hasn’t it? But as I feel it now, in our energy, Father, what comes is that by giving in this half hearted way, I really cheat myself of the off-the-charts nourishment that could come if someone responded to my heart open invitation. And there is the question to feel also about if I offer from a place of not being as heart open as I could be, how much of what I am receiving in return is a reflection of that? How much am I creating my own reality, in this case, disappointment?

DF: You are so on it, Wayne. And I’d offer you one more piece. There is this crazy joy of being fully in your power, in the world, in your relating, where nothing is being politely hidden, like you needed to do to be palatable to paint people’s homes for instance. The world is so built on bullshit, Wayne, that when one person becomes disloyal to the bullshit, everything in their world changes. You know this one. It hurts some to go through the crash, sure, but the freedom is like no other, and it isn’t one iota dependent upon the other persons’ response. It influences their response big time. It makes their disinterest far more alchemical in their life. Saying no to a telemarketer is pretty easy. Saying no to a once in a life times soul mates offer of friendship is quite another. You will change the world and your world, Wayne, if you are prepared to be more and more in this way.

W: I think I am.

DF: I said all that and you think you are.

W: Yeah, but you’ve been itching to say that regardless of my response.

DF: Hey man, I can keep my insights to myself if you’d like.

W: Father, I am so struck with your words and heart, I don’t know where to start.

DF: Good!

W: Real good. Thank you again.

DF: You’re welcome again.

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of Soulfullheart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.

W: Hello Divine Father.

DF: Hey Wayne. How are you?

W: I Just got back from a town trip for most of the day, so I feel a bit tired and considered pausing on our dialogue today, but then I suspected that there might be something in a ‘come as you are moment,’ rather than waiting till I feel more wind in my sails. I also would like to show people how connecting with you doesn’t require any special ‘got it all together’ deal, ‘look at how special I am’ kind of thing.

DF: Hallelujah, Wayne and praise Allah. The only thing I hate more than religious pretense is the harm it does to people who are ready and willing to connect, but have excluded themselves having been conned into the religious bullshit. Hell, I’m coming as I am, nothing more, nothing less. So How was town?

W: I always find town disconnected to large degree. There is a pretty thick personal space bubble around each person, other than the little children, who I’d be happiest to go and play with, if the parents would let me. It’s such a world of money and commerce, even here in small town rural Mexico. So, in all of that, I feel a layer of a need for connection with others that doesn’t get met when I go to town. Then being on-line for a couple hours to post and schedule these dialogues also leaves me with a bit of a yuck feeling of disconnect. It seems the internet, that gave us all this possibility of connection, also gave us to the same degree a recoil of genuine communication, and left us with fuckin’ facebook. Not that I’m on facebook, god forbid, but that same energy seems to pervade the internet.

DF: I feel you writing lately about intimacy and community Wayne and then having to compare that with what is around you. I honor that you can be with the dissonance between the two. And I’m sorry that it hurts to feel that discrepancy. AND, thank you for being willing to feel both feelings; the desire and disappointment. It’s in the willingness to feel opposing feelings that a creative alchemy arises in which to bring forth the desired thing.

W: Thank you for feeling that Father, and for reminding me, in such a deeply honoring way. That goes in.

DF: Come as you are works pretty good doesn’t it?

W: Yes, it does. So, If I just heard you right, you said something like disappointment is part of the alchemy of something new arising?

DF: That’s what I said.

W: My whole life, I’ve been conditioned to avoid disappointment, and if I’m stuck with a conscious disappointment over something being delayed or not working out as hoped, to then seek to numb it down with something more desirable to feel. Are you saying that I could come to see disappointment as even a good thing?

DF: I know you’ve had that conditioning Wayne, but you’ve also come a country mile away from that conditioning in being willing to feel what most are unwilling to feel. Disappointment is a true human feeling. Underneath it is always a need. It may be buried a couple layers down, but a true and genuine human need always underlies a disappointment. If someone can make space to feel their disappointment, it reconnects them and grounds them in their own heart. This then allows the alchemy of the real need to bring newness into someone’s life.

W: But how then is feeling disappointment in the way you are describing different from being depressed?

DF: Depression is pretty much the opposite. What I’m talking about is an expression, rather than a depression. A depression is a suppressing of feelings and the needs associated with those feelings, and then numbing it all down. I’m describing feeling it all.

W: Part of me felt a bit ‘complainy’ when I was telling you about my town experience today, like I should just be more positive…

DF: As if that would make you look all connected with the divine…

W: When in truth, it’s just connected to a lot of bullshit.

DF: Anyone who resists feeling anything they deem negative just cuts off half of their feeling experience and that’s what creates depression. Feeling and expressing negative feelings and finding the needs and desires underneath leads to something very different.

W: You called it an ‘alchemy.’

DF: The heart is a way more cooler thing than anyone has begun to see Wayne, me included, for that matter. But a beginning place of seeing the heart is seeing it’s power to transmute stuff, and living your way into it.

W: And then it kinda puts the responsibility back on my shoulders.

DF: Yeah, it does, but in a really cool way. Once you get past playing victim and living without getting your needs met, and learning to do without and all of that, and begin to see the role you play in this alchemy, things change. It takes some courage, like facing the yuk you felt coming back from town, and letting that reconnect you with the ache and desire for intimacy and connection.

W: I’m amazed in the moment Father how this baptizes all of the range of my moment by moment feeling experience into the sacred as well as the empowered.

DF: It so does just that, and it gets easier too with practice, as this reaction to suppress a feeling thins out more and more. A whole new life reality kind of sneaks up on you. It’s one of those things too that needs to be gradual for it to be healthy.

W: A whole new life reality sneaking up on me. I like the sound of that. Isn’t that the allure somehow of soap opera’s, imagining a completely different life for oneself?

DF: People who are stuck in suppressed feelings want out, big time. They weren’t meant to be there. They just can’t see a way out, so an imagination comes in to fill the gap, but real feelings aren’t being consciously felt, so the person stays looping in the disappointment that undergirds their life.

W: Which is another way of being in disempowerment…

DF: Yes, that’s so true, disempowerment cycling in numbness and disconnect until that alchemizes a desire to reach out of that soup for something more. That something more, however, begins in the heart, with a willingness to feel, a willingness to want.

W: and what does it lead to after that?

DF: The alchemy creates something that couldn’t arise any other way, except through this feeling incubator. The person has a different and changing energy about them. Their soul song is resonating in the soularium in new ways. New guidance comes. New ways of being arise. New actions arise too.

W: We tend to look at empowerment as some big deal that we kind of pull off because we’re so hot, but what you’re describing feels like something so grounded compared to that.

DF: Rooted and grounded empowerment is really again the opposite of what we see as powerful. Powerful people cling to power as expressions that serve to demonstrate how undernourished they actually are in life in relation to their real needs. Empowered and grounded people hold authority with a wide open hand and heart, it’s so completely different. Their authority is something that just is, that arises from their essence, that doesn’t need defense and manipulation in order to express.

W: We could so use more examples of that…

DF: Uh, huh, and where do you think those are going to come from?

W: I know where you’re going with that and I feel that inside of me as well. It’s going to come from me Father, if I’m willing.

DF: Are you willing?

W: I am father, especially after talking my disappointment through with you.

DF: Good. Then lead Wayne. Don’t ask permission. Don’t seek to be certified or titled or recognized in order to act. Feel all of this below the waterline stuff and then trust the guidance that arises, especially in the desire department. Desire is literally unfolding life Wayne. Guidance will arise. You might be a bit freaked out how fast and furious it comes. Well, maybe not freaked out, but tweaked out shall we say.

W: I like it Father, all of it. Thank you. I accept the stepping up again of leadership and acting on guidance, as a natural deal that arises from feeling.

DF: I don’t know of anything more masculine Wayne, it’s sacred, it’s empowered, it’s full of love and heart and it embraces the feminine in this way that the universe actually aches for.

W: I know Jillian would be saying ‘yumm’ right about know and giving me those eyes that go along with that.

DF: Yeah. This stuff is meant to be fun, man.

W: Thank you Divine Father, I’m glad I reached out to you.

DF: I’m glad you did too. You weren’t the only one in a funk.

W: Really!?

DF: Today was a bit of a slow day and I was feeling some of the same stuff you were Wayne. I held space for myself as I held space for you.

W: You rock!

DF: I rock!

W: Hasta Manana

DF: Hasta Mananaaaa….

Wayne Vriend is a co-founder of SoulFullHeart Community, healer and author of 90 Days With Yeshua. Visit soulfullheart.com for more information.