By Jelelle Awen
A day spent yesterday of being with me, relaxing, feeling mellow, being more inward than outward, moving some lower frequency/subtle toxicities through…not my usual JOY and high energy frequencies yet these are good days too actually! A ‘recharge’ of the love batteries from going inside which leads to offering more in overflow to others, especially for our group call today and right NOW in this moment of shared creativity.
There are times where self space holding is not specific or something big to process, yet just a sense and commitment and desire of BEing with self. A true desire to BE with self, not an ‘obligation’ or ‘should’, but because there is NO ONE you would rather be with than yourself. Making space for self and not ‘giving out’ too much. Feels like an incubator space created for one that we can return to over and over again!
I was an only child growing up and also a ‘latch key’ kid and my birth parents didn’t get home often until late. So, I had glorious hours to myself after school and these were my moments to BE with self, to play pretend, to dance, to sing, etc. Sometimes I played with friends or hung out with others, but mostly I cherished this time to myself as it was for and with ME and it helped me digest the intensities of the day and from the dynamics of my birth family. In this way, I believe I chose to be an only child in order to build up this container of sense of gloriousness about self time. I rarely have experienced being lonely this life because of the sense of a rich inner world that has bubbled over into my life.
In 3D, everything is outside. There isn’t an internal incubator because everything vibrates from outside of self. There is no ‘there there’ inside and the inside is like an empty chamber yet with ping pong emotional reactions clashing around (largely unconscious) and soul karmic frequencies simmering and bubbling (again, largely unconscious). There isn’t a strong self love and awareness fireplace to hold the fires that come up and so ALL of what comes up in self gets burned in the process. There is smoldering fires and ash everywhere inside of the 3D self.
The outward focus then is seeking for things to entertain constantly, to divert constantly, to control constantly, to numb constantly in the 3D self as conditioned by a 3D world. It is a constant search by the 3D self for the NEXT activity, thing, person…that will maybe even provide ALL of these aspects of entertainment, control, diversion, and numbness. So much of 3D cultural expression is based on this unground NEED and, really, obsession with outside distraction.
A big aspect of 4D awakening is the awakening to SELF and the glorious pleasure of creating and experiencing a growing self fireplace and incubator. And less and less NEED for outside distraction, numbing, and diversion. You are more just content with what is inside and going inside through meditation becomes the entertainment ground with vast rich terrains opening up inside of you. Not used for distraction though but actually in order to feel, in order to heal, in order to grow, in order to INtegrate the soul.
The 4D self has ups and downs, deaths and rebirths, discoveries and integrations, yet it is held in a CONSCIOUS and AWARE context of growth and awakening. THIS is a big difference from the 3D unconscious letting life just happen and being reactive consciousness that draws drama after drama to be victim to. The 4D self more and more feels how everything that you experience OUTSIDE of you is a reflection from INSIDE of you.
In this growing lived-in truth is empowerment, is the completion of feeling like a victim and life is happening to YOU. This is the growing sense of trust and surrender to your connection with All That Is and Divine Source. This is the transition into the frequencies of unity-yet-individual consciousness that is 5D and beyond where the self is revealed through the peeling and burning away with self love ALL the layers of persona, self image, and 3D conditioning to REVEAL and REMEMBER the soul that is a fractal from Divine Source in human expression as Infinite Love….
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.