Okay. So that was a little provocative. That´s alright. It was meant to be. I feel like there is something in the masculine that wants to push some boundaries. Get a little rise…sort of speak. So some inner teenager gets to come out and play a little bit. That is all part of the fun of self-discovery and exploration. On the road to the Men´s group call on Saturday I felt compelled to feel into some writing about the masculine and was guided to just write about what is in my space as a man in the moment.
It is a time of stoking the fire of romance. Feeling what that really means as a man. So much is written from a female’s perspective about romance and the desire to be in deep union. For me, it is a new way of wanting to relate to relationship and union. In my past I can feel how there were many unfelt and unhealed energies in my emotional body that made it difficult for me to be vulnerable. To get into the messy of what was real. Just wanting to be in a comfort place even if it really wasn´t comfortable. Those days are no longer as I have been on a healing path for over 5 years now and feel way more Me here than I ever have. A self-love that is wanting to overflow to another.
I feel that deep down all men want this too. As vibrations are raising and Love showering down on us every moment, we can´t help but to feel this draw and desire. To leave the old conditioning and patterns behind. There is a need in the core of our soul to want to grow and expand. It can happen at great depth on one´s own, but there is nothing like romance to turn on the afterburners and propel us into the reflection of some of our hidden places. Now, don´t get me wrong. I feel resistance from a part of me around that, but it is met with more desire to be vulnerable to that and let it work itself out in relationship. Scars and all.
There is an experience of life and ourselves as men that we just cannot have unless we are in a romance. I really believe there is a phase we all find ourselves in when we have been hurt and just need the solo time. But I don´t feel we were meant to be that way for long, unless the soul signed up for it. I still feel in our human heart we want to feel transactable love with each other on a ground that is ever expanding and never stagnant. The resistance to it comes from a protective part of us that has a very good reason for feeling the way it does.
Romantic love turns your world upside down. We just know that on some level and that is scary. I have been beautifully upended twice in my life that found me making changes and feeling things a part of me never thought I would. In the words of Kalayna Colibri, it ¨rearranges your furniture¨…and then moves your house to a different country altogether. Your inner house gets lit up and some of the things you didn´t know were there or were hiding become highlighted.
In SoulFullHeart we see ourselves working our vertical self, the me to me, first. Then there is the transactable horizontal ground between a man and a woman that we call the Usness. This is the juicy place of all sorts of magic, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. This is the Merkabah that is created between two hearts and souls that can traverse galaxies and back again. The kind of after-glow that can leave you in a fuzz for days.
I long for this kind of relationship. I know that it is not all honeymoon but a concerted desire to be with all that comes up personally and in response to another. It is an alchemical ground that offers so much in way of a true aliveness of being. I feel there are other men that long for the same and the road there is through your own heart. Though this was written from a single man´s perspective I feel those that are in current relationships can feel this in their own dynamic with their beloveds. What is it that we truly desire in our hearts and in romance with another?
To my Queen, wherever you may find yourself, this was dedicated to you.
Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com