We Want To Belong Without Feeling Trapped

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By Raphael Awen

‘But, I don’t want to sign up for your deal!’

While it’s true that by nature, we don’t want to be trapped, it’s also true that we want to belong.

We want to belong without feeling trapped. This however means different things for different parts of us. If you are at a phase in life where your Inner child is showing up in our emotional body, then there’s likely going to be a deep desire rumbling through you to find and maintain a sense of home socially, a family in which to belong. If however, a Protector Part of us is running the show, as they often are, there can be a sizable protest around belonging to anything. The internal civil war we are left with really explains the shut down so many people live in.

I found myself usually wanting to go deeper into the family at hand I found myself in, and then deeply wanted to change it, until that felt controlling or too pushy and then I was left with leaving, without anywhere else to go. Eventually, however, my soul has always brought me to a new place of home and family, even if that meant creating one from scratch.

What I’ve learned for myself is that none of us really get to not be a part of something. Even the choice to be alone and live like a hermit, is a choice to tune into an archetypal frequency, a belonging of sorts to a community of non-belongers who share commonalities.

I like to say that none of us in this way is exempt from belonging to cults and cultures, we only are able to take responsibility for the cults we choose to be a part of. You get to pick your cult(s), you just don’t get to pick whether you will participate in cults or not! ‘Cult’ is the perfect charged word to describe this too, because it gets us to see how deeply the subconscious ways of life we all participate in shape and dictate our lives.

Coming back to the bigger mysterious picture of who and what we are, It’s like we are individual and that individuality also both dissolves and is manifest in every moment through oneness. We are paradoxically one while we are individual. Talk about being roped into something! Belonging! We are all doing something very similar at a deep core level. Hence our needs for often vain attempts at differentiation through labels and brands. It’s only when our higher self shows up more and more that a consciousness awakening to this ‘what is’ can occur, and we can then take responsibility for our innate needs around belonging. If I can’t actually ‘not-belong’, then I can consciously choose and feel all the what’s, why’s and how’s of my belonging.

This is also true on the personal level of our emotional body, as an individual. What we think of as simply us, and feel to be us is actually just the active part of us in any moment thinking and emoting through us, in the absence of any higher us; a healthy parent kind of us to offer real relationship. What we are left with can be likened to a band of teenagers running the household in the absence of any loving and heart open true parental presence. Even these parts of us form a working club or family of belonging, a hierarchy of roles and means to survive complete with valiant attempts at getting needs met. Even the most obviously dysfunctional among us are really amazing multi-dimensional beings who find a way to function where there simply was no way.

‘We’ are also ‘the one’ who is comprised of ‘the many’, who awaits a higher consciousness to arise that can hold an ambassadorship to the outermost regions of our being.

This is our true belonging, where any deal we sign up for, even if it ends painfully, cannot take away from us, but only add to us, as we now live from an emerging true sovereignty of being. Our vulnerability is now returned to us as our greatest gift.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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3 comments

  1. “We are paradoxically one while we are individual.” Right on! I like a quote that is attributed to Ramana Maharshi about this — “the “I” casts off the illusion of “I” and yet remains “I”. Such is the paradox of self-realization. The Realized do not see any contradiction in it.”

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