Healing The ‘Black Sheep’ Archetype

by Kalayna Solais

When you’re a child, you start to learn right away what is expected of you. You’re meeting expectations of when to start talking, walking, even behaving more maturely, whatever definition of ‘mature’ you’ve been taught. You learn, then, about what makes you feel like you’re on track with this and what doesn’t and you take in the impact of that.

As you get older and start to awaken more to your soul but also what your heart really feels and wants, the pain starts to set in… the pain of feeling like you don’t belong and maybe never have. A feeling like you simply cannot ‘win’ no matter what you do or don’t do. Parts of you form to deal with this and find a way to be in the world but you still can’t reconcile your differences; those aspects of who you are that seem to set you apart from everyone else.

In some cases, you may start becoming ‘therapized’ as the only way that your 3D-conditioned parents or authority figures feel they can ‘help’ you. You may be put on medication that numbs and dulls your natural ability to FEEL. Even the anxiety and depression you’ve experienced, which is held by parts of you that are hurting and also feeling on their radar a sense that they really aren’t safe in this conditioning and aren’t being loved the way they need and deserve to be.

You now see yourself as the ‘black sheep’ of the family but also of the culture you’ve been raised in. You may even feel this with your friends or co-workers. I know I have.

In my recent process, I was working with a part of me that always felt she was the ‘black sheep’. We had to go into a scene together where she could line-up her birth family members and feel the lingering judgements and criticisms, the messages of ‘you’ll never make it on your own’ which may not have been directly said but were energized.

Together, we could start to feel their Higher Selves in the room too, and their Higher Selves offered that this wasn’t actually about what it seemed to be about… it wasn’t about me or this part of me being a ‘failure’ (though in a 3D sense it’d be pretty easy to see it that way). It was actually about a wonder they have at the conditioning I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to, the risks I’ve said ‘yes’ to and the trust I now have more and more in my life, even the challenges that sometimes feel like mountains to climb.

In this, I found compassion for them even though I still hold a boundary.

In this, I found a way to truly see and honour myself and my own journey as well as seeing the sacredness of their own.

In this, I could feel how this theme of ‘not belonging’ and being looked down on somehow has played out in all of my relationships in one way or another, even with my soul family and my recent marriage too.

And, in this, I could feel how just about every single one of us who has been on an awakening and healing journey has felt like some form of the ‘black sheep’ and played out this theme countless times, often with angst and restlessness and even suicidal feelings.

On the other side of this process, I could bring this part of me into a new form other than the ‘black sheep’. She was able to shake off the black and the sheep suit came off too. She turned into a young lioness, full of power and presence, yet with heart and vulnerability. She is finding a new home inside of me where she can truly belong and be seen and loved for who she is, even in those times where she is being shown something not-so-easy to see or feel about herself.

You’ve been taught to look outside of you for validation and even for connection to Divine love.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that you’re always supposed to ‘achieve’ and ‘succeed’ even though the goalposts keep moving. This happens in 3D and also 4D in different spiritual groups too where your ‘black sheep’ feelings can become amplified instead of felt deeply, often in the form of ‘tough love’ which is really just outright abuse.

The feelings of not-belonging can be healed as the parts of you begin to unify, one by one, with each other and with you.

Love is the glue that brings your heart and soul back together again to wholeness within that can no longer be severed. Love is the juice that catalyzes the transformation from within. Yours is the love your lost and world-weary parts most need to feel, to remove their own sheep suits… for they were never meant to be ‘sheep’.

They were meant to be ‘lions’.

Much love! ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

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Giving Your Inner Teenager What You Needed As A Teenager

By Kalayna Solais

Holding the Inner Teenager inside of you means having an experience of holding yourself during a time in your life when all you wanted and didn’t want, sometimes at the same time, WAS to be held. To be understood. To be felt and empathized with. Not fixed or caretaken, but to be seen in your bigness and challenged in it healthfully and heart-fully, without pushing or poking or prodding but with an arena of safety constructed for the necessary explorations and explosions.

You needed and wanted space, room to grow and feel and explore…. permission to BE in and with the angst, the sadness, the longing for something you could not even name at times, and even the joy and celebrations that wanted to come up too that almost equally could not be felt with you by those around you that you looked up to.

All of this still lives inside of you in a part of you that asks for attention and love in different ways… a part of you that still may be the dominant energy in you at work, in relationships, even in your role as ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.

Often times this part is so repressed that they become deeply depressed and anxious too. Their transition from child to adult was never honoured for the wrestling match it actually IS. This ‘wrestling’ experience is a struggle and rebellion against while also capitulating to 3D conditioning and energies. It’s also an experience sometimes of being stuck in a 4D limbo and ‘void’ space while looking for something or someone to show up enough to help you move into the higher frequency that you somehow remember yet maybe at a distance.

Your arms and heart are the bridge to this part of you that the adult you can show up to construct and hold, piece by piece, with permission granted by this part of you to begin that process. Every effort made to go IN and BE with them is one that imprints them with love. Every time you reach out your hand to hold theirs with understanding and care is an opportunity for them to lean in and be felt in the gift they are, even in their pain.

Here’s a video and meditation from Jelelle that offers some more framing around this process and the opportunity to meet this part of you: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

There’s also this video from Gabriel and I about connecting with this part of you: https://youtu.be/ZIG-zgEb4Mg

And this guided meditation that I created and Gabriel narrates: https://youtu.be/Vu7nRmyzu0E

Much love to you and this part of you as you deepen or even begin this process of seeing each other and experiencing profound healing together. ❤

I offer much space to feel this part of you with guidance and love through 1:1 sessions for women… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more info ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Initiation Into The Sacred Masculine On Father’s Day

Today Father’s Day is happening inside of me. Today I open my heart to my inner boys. My inner child and inner teenager. The ones that didn’t get the initiation into the world of the divine masculine. This is not a knock against my 3D fathers. They did all they could do with what they were here to initiate me into. I have had my own personal healing process around what I did or didn’t receive as a growing and maturing boy. I had tears last night for what could have been.

Yet, in that moment I realized I can do that for myself. For them. I can connect to the divine masculine within via my masculine guides, metasoul brothers, and the Divine Father. Big Papa Love. He says he is here to continue my initiation. He is here to lead me to my True Man self. The one where my truth is felt and expressed in equal parts. The one where the courage to Be is as important as the courage to lead.

I am to continue this deepening quest for self-love, self-worth, and self-pride. One that heals and integrates the feminine within. It is an ongoing process of claiming Her inside of me. Of reconciling the judgments and the suppression. It is letting go of what was to let in what IS and can Be. It is falling in love with yourself so deeply that it has nowhere else to go but out. Out into the world in the service of humanity. In service of Love Itself.

In a world where masculinity has searched for answers and control, it is time to be initiated into a new vision of the ascending masculine. One in which love, peace, passion, and creativity are the leading edges of our quest while healing, and not denying, our trailing shadow edges.

From this day on, shall Father’s Day represent New Man Day. Initiation Into The Vulnerable Man Day. It is a fire walk but a sacred walk. I want us all to walk this one together…from the inside out.

Happy Father’s Day to you…the father of your inner boys.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

A Man’s Journey To Self Through Feeling His Relationship To His Mother

A man’s relationship to and with his mother has such a big influence in his relationship to women, the feminine (internally and externally), and his ability to let in the kind of love he yearns for. It also has an impact on his individuation as a man in the process of maturation and ascension.

As a man, this relationship has deep roots not just in this life but in our soul. So much of our wounding can be projected onto our mothers, as well as onto other women because of our relationship to our mothers. Unearthing these roots and entanglements takes a man into a sacred journey of finding his truth and his own inner feminine energy.

It makes it very difficult to feel that when in a wounded relationship to mom. This can come in the form of of the Inner Protector, Inner Teenager, the Inner Child, as well as our Inner Mother/Father. There is a natural and necessary phase when a man needs to unachor from his mother to find the depths of its wound and authentic transactability.

At some point, the Divine Mother replaces the deeper need a man has in his soul and a new, conscious relationship can arise between mother and son if each are doing their work. This more vulnerable and authentic relationship can inspire and inform a sacred romance with a woman that is not based in the recapitulation of this wounded mother-son wounding.

On this Day of Mother, I feel a desire to hold all men accountable to their authentic and conscious relationship to their mothers, the feminine, and the Divine Mother of all. Only then can real and true growth happen in the heart, the genitals, and the soul.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Living And Healing Into Trust

Photo by WhiteSparks Photography

Trust is one of the hardest things to lean into when it feels like the world around you and/or inside of you is collapsing.

We are comprised of so many experiences that can point to the opposite of trust and thus induce anxiety and despair. This is a big ship to turn around. The energy can be thick and soupy. Yet, when you come to meet this energy inside as a PART of your BEing and essence, a larger container comes to provide a breathing space of compassion and curiosity.

Parts such as the Inner Protector, Inner Child/Teenager, Inner Mother/Father, Gatekeeper, and Metasoul aspects contain a plethora of feeling data that can shed light on this distrust. It is also contained in the collective.

As you begin to unravel and heartfully feel these parts and aspects, within the space of another open-hearted experiencer, the clouds of this distrust begin to give way to the deeper Trust that lives in ALL of us.

What would life look and feel like if you could fully lean into that faint voice of intuition, passion, and desire?

The more you can lean into that and divest of any particular outcome, life takes on a whole new organic and sacredly mysterious quality that can only serve your highest well-being and purpose. The root of this begins where distrust lives and breathes…inside the heart and soul.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Inner Conflict Into Our Embodied Truth And Service Of Love

Over the past few months, I have felt myself in a very awkward space between two of the most influential people in my healing journey. There have been times when parts of me could feel this tug to ‘side’ one way or another.

As a young boy, my parents were in a state of bitter contention at the end of their marriage. I felt the split inside of me to care-take both of them but for different reasons. This conflict found its way inside at an early and impressionable age. What was ‘right’ was more important than what was ‘true’. This theme also plays out in many soul timelines that are looking for connection and resolution.

As I felt this arise in myself once more, I could feel the ways in which this tug was always inside of me regarding my truth and needs. This is the ongoing work for me. It has been a challenge for parts of me this life to be in a seat of self-loving power, personal clarity, and expression. I could not have felt this without this relational experience.

We think we have ‘cleared’ or ‘released’ something inside of us when in reality it is always another turn in the spiral of healing. The energy is less and less but the theme will arise when it needs to in order to feel and heal it again. Each time arising anew and changed. I feel another layer of who I am as I continue to express more of my needs and truths.

This is ongoing. I feel more there to explore, examine, and offer love to. I used to feel that this was a disqualifier for me as a healer and leader. Now I am learning to accept that this is my personal certification process. I can only serve that which I have chosen to witness and heal within myself.

This arena of truth is a big top world, and it has much to teach us about who we are as men, women, humans, and BEings. It is the poultice of our soul.

Join me for my ongoing video series that I began yesterday as I will talk about this and other topics related specifically for men, but intended for all. Thank you as always for your taking in of my journey and how it may serve your own.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

April Energies Invite You To Come Home To Yourself

Coming home to ourselves is the greatest work we can be doing at any given moment.

In recent sessions that I have had there has been an underlying theme of this very thing. So much of what we ache for or about on the outside is really about what is missing on the inside. A need of being seen and validated by another, a fear or anxiety about financial needs, or a deep feeling of loneliness, depression, or anger.

If you can begin to explore that nothing on the outside can ever make you feel anything that wasn’t already there on the inside, then you have just offered yourself, and your inner parts, the gift of empowerment.

In the process of inner work, using the imagination and memories helps to locate where these core needs and fears are stemming from. This can be a very natural process when the curiosity and desire to sort and heal these are aligned. It is one felt step at a time.

Inside lay the wounded, the hurt, the afraid, the pissed off, the rejected, as well as the joy, the passion, the vision, and the love. They all have their roles and needs. They all have their ascension journeys. Their deaths and rebirths. There you face all the things you really need for your growth and validation. They get to be offered a home in you.

No mantra, book, or medication can take you there quite like opening the portals to your heart and soul with self-loving compassion. It is a process I inhabit everyday with different layers of depth and discovery. Let these current energies support you in that coming home journey as well as those that have been there too. I open my heart space in the self-led exploration and embodiment of your deepest desires and gifts.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Inevitability Of Rebirth

Rebirth has a way of finding you.

No matter the life circumstances or situations, as we choose ascension we chose death and rebirth. It is purely unavoidable. The things that once seemed so true become untrue until they are meant to be true again, but in a whole new way.

The habits, geopgraphies, relationships, and livliehoods all come a moment of sacred rumble. It is the permanence of impermanence that guides this path of growth and authentic alignment. What you continue to hold onto that doesn’t fully align with where you are heading as an individual, will always be highlighted by the Divine time and again until you get that it is finally time to take a deep hard feel into what is real and aligned…and what is not.

Rebirth isn’t always about letting go. It is also about going INto. Into the fire of passion and purpose. Into the sacred dance of romance and service. Into the shadow and into the light. Into fear and into Love.

The emotional and spiritual bodies hold the keys to unlock these ‘heart spots’. The ones that have been hard to see or just not wanting to be addressed due to the understandable fear of death…OR is it the rebirth that parts of you fear more?

What does rebirth mean? What does it look like and feel like? Who with be there to keep it all afloat? It is an empty canvass and YOU are the artist. YOU are the one that responds to love instead of fear. What would life be like to no longer respond in the old way?


These are the voices that come from within. Your Protector, your inner child, your teenager, your Metasoul timelines. The network of parts that make up the network you call You. These are the parts to hold and feel that help midwife this scary yet alive New.

The solar activations and geomagnetic storms are sending these canaries out of your heartmine. Hear them. Feel them. Hold them. Love them into this new birthing one courageous day at a time. Support is here and now.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Painting by Delawer Omar



The Valentine’s Gateway To The Heart

In the past, prior to my healing journey, Valentine’s Day would give a part of me a little cringe. There was an energy of duty and obligation that swelled up inside whenever I was in a relationship. A feeling that this part of me had to “show up” in a way and be romantic even if he wasn’t totally feeling that.

Of course, there were the Valentines when I would go all out because I was in a new relationship and would get swept up in the collective swell of romanticism. When I wasn’t, another part of me would feel an angst and a bitterness that would demean the day as commercial exploitation. Many other times I could feel an ambivalence inside me as the day would just come and go

As I reflect on that and compare it to where I am now in a conscious sacred union with Kalayna, I can feel how those reactions were portals into my relationship to love, romance, and intimacy. Since it is a collective experience, at least in Western consciousness, a lot can get kicked up in the emotional body for both men and women.

Memories of recent relationships, the status of current relationships, or the longing of future romance amplifies as we experience this as a Whole. The parts of us that were wounded and hurt are triggered at this time. What a great opportunity to feel them in this!

I feel that this is true for both men and women, yet women feel closer to it than many men as we have more of a mechanism to bury or ignore these feelings than women. But I know that men feel a great deal during this time, regardless of what a part of them may say outwardly.

We all have parts of us that relate to this day differently. The inner child exuberance of joy, gifts, and candy, the inner teenager and its tragic romantic conflict and angst, the inner prince that gets to court and woo the inner princess, or the inner matriarch and patriarch that can throw the whole damn thing out the window for that matter!

What do love, romance, and intimacy represent to these different aspects of you? What are the hurt, trauma, yearning, or ambivalence wanting you to feel? To express? Writing a letter to Love is a great way to access this relationship regardless of where you are at. It is a key that can open up doors to the tender parts of you that are awaiting your entry and open heart to feel them in it.

For parts of men, this may feel a bit too feminine, but I encourage you to take a moment to give it a try. If there is a feeling of resistance then maybe writing to that resistance can help grease the wheels.

What does Love mean to you, even if what comes out seems to counter and oppose? Digesting that with another open heart can offer a deeper reflection and pathway to where you ultimately want to go in the arena of romance even if it is just from you to you, as that is where it all begins.

For more on inner and outer sacred union and intimacy check out these videos from Jelelle and Raphael Awen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPVo1iZTYng&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diPaOZFiPBM&feature=share

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations

Bridging Polarity In Service Of Love

We exist in a polarized dimension. It is not our essence to be fragmented into this and that, yet here we are. It was Divine choice and will to do so. To be so. When we lost the remembrance of that, it was like a babe being lost in the woods coming out of a dream. We saw and felt separateness in our most primal state. So we constructed, suppressed, and experimented with power in order to shore up the fear of that existential and sacred wound.

Timelines and worlds have been created and destroyed in this grand game of hide-and-seek. Seems almost a cruel joke on some level, yet the pain and suffering were the risks inherent in this desire to truly know and experience Love. The Divine has never been complacent to that fact in my heartfelt opinion.

So then what is the purpose of this trauma? This seemingly tragic consequence of the human condition. For those that have faced it heart-on, there is an awareness of this power of Love that goes beyond words and takes you into a dimension of reverence, strength, and awe that was unknown in Its singular state.

We are all a part of that Grand Choice if you truly believe we are a part of this Grand Design. The two cannot be separate, paradoxically enough. So in this way, we have a huge part in this experiment of experience. We feel. We ache. We cry. We scream. We choose. We surrender.

We become aware of this polarity inside as aspects and parts and we build bridges between them. We become aware of their stories, their experiences, their beliefs. From the wounded child/teenager to the fallen kings and queens of our multidimensional timelines. You are this kaleidoscopic tapestry of being that is the seed and vessel of the Cosmos. You are the lightship of leadership that can take us into the New.

This comes with a great price to parts of us that are seeking safety and/or control. There is pain to feel and responsibility to assume, but that is what leads to the greatest and deepest gift that lives within each of us. The power to feel and spread Love as far as the Soul can see.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Photo by Victorien Ameline on Unsplash