The SoulFullHeart Podcast, Episode 3: Teenage Wounding, Intimacy, and Spirituality

We are SoulFullHeart Facilitators/Teachers/Sacred Union soul mates, Gabriel Amara and Kasha Rokshana, and we’re so excited to host the second episode of a weekly podcast from within the SoulFullHeart process, community, and way of life which is so beloved to us and which we have been a part of for the last decade.

In this episode, we share a bit about our feelings and perspectives on our teenage years and how much we are still influenced by them as a part of us we call the Inner Teenager. An unconscious fusion to this volatile time of our lives has such an impact on how we relate to life, intimacy, and spirituality. On many levels we are still being initiated into a mature relationship to ourselves, others, and the Divine itself. We hope you find this illuminating as well as a step into deeper healing for yourself and this very alive and multidimensional part of us.

Here is a link to the 7 Areas Of Life article we mentioned in the podcast:
https://www.soulfullheart.org/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Here is a link to Gabriel’s writing on the subject this past week:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/2022/05/24/the-inner-teenager-our-beloved-uninitiated/

We would love for you to follow us on any of the following platforms that you may be connected to:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2LUIpz0KHOr46Utheqfl5C
Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/…/soulfullheart…/id1571976536
Google Podcasts:
https://www.google.com/podcasts?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81ZjA4YWQwNC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw==
Anchor:
https://anchor.fm/soulfullheartcurrent

SoulFullHeart is a healing process, a contextual paradigm, a very powerful and empowering way of life, and a sacred community all in one. You can find out more on our website: http://www.soulfullheart.org. We’ll also be bridging everything SoulFullHeart through our own unique embodiment and experience of it to add more perspective and understanding as to where we come from and how the topics are held and felt in our hearts and souls.

We offer one-on-one and couple’s facilitation as the guidance and need arises. The SoulFullHeart Current Podcast is a way to serve and also be transparent with who we are and what we feel to embody and create outside the dystopian world that is being widely peddled today. We offer compassion, illumination, direction, feeling, and grounded action that is rooted in the individual self first, that then can spread to others through your own transformation and advocacy. Visit www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more information.

We appreciate any ideas for future podcasts for us to delve into as they arise for you. You can leave a comment or email those to us, along with any other comments to soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

You can find our online community, the SoulFullHeart Portal, on Mighty Networks at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co. We highly recommend joining our online community where for only $22/month, you’ll have access to what could be the deepest and most meaningful soul family connections you’ve yet to experience, exclusive videos/guided meditations from us as well as Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and more personal pieces being shared from each of us in our intimate community.

Thank you for being in The Current with us. It is where we strive to let go, let in, feel, heal, see, be seen, and seek resonant community!

With Love and Currency,
Gabriel & Kasha

The Inner Teenager: Our Beloved Uninitiated

I have come to recognize in myself and in others, how much of our stasis or growth emotionally and spiritually lies a great deal within our teenage self. This self that still lives in the house of our emotional and spiritual bodies. Actually, they may even be in two separate houses due to a divorce between the two. A Spirit-Human Spilt if you will.

I knew that this was true 10 years ago when I started my healing journey. How much of a well this was and is still being discovered, met, and reconciled. This teenage time in each of our lives holds so much information about who we are now and how we relate to the world, to intimacy, and to Spirituality. Whatever our wounding was that stemmed from early childhood was like an exposed nerve ending that was cauterized through our teenage experiences.

We actually stopped growing in our emotional maturation. I personally put on the 3D ‘adult’ pants and tried to fit into that traditional mold of ‘get-a-career’. Next came a marriage, then a baby. All the while the teenager lived-on on the inside. He did the best he could playing mature adult but would leak out many times in immature actions. Then a battle would ensue with my own punishing voice to get my ‘shit’ together.

Others may have taken on the spiritual route earlier and stayed away from more 3D type jobs and found a less ‘stable’ environment from which to live yet be free of the Matrix while still being a part of its clutches. A teenage relationship to Spirituality grew that was disconnected from its human pain and a shell of a true integrated spirituality was born.

Maybe it was a blend of the two.

Either way, our unfelt and integrated teenager has been at the helm of our growth trajectory deciding what is and isn’t acceptable. He or she has decided that they own the keys to the car now and it is up to them what happens next. This unhealed teenager is probably found most noticeably in our intimacy and sexuality. They were hurt deeply in these relationships and damned if they will be hurt again. Sexuality either becomes underexpressed or overexpressed and that can show up in their relationship to spirituality as well in the seducer and the seductress.

We were most susceptible to influence and hijacking at this time of our life. We were also susceptible to hiding and fighting. Our relationship to all of Life on all levels was deeply embedded during this time. While our Inner Child may forgive more easily, our Inner Teenager has been less likely to, as it needed to be like this in order to survive and maybe even thrive. To say that we are still emotional teenagers on some level is not a judgment. It is a reality that exists until we are open to come into the same space with him or her and really be honest with where they still have the proverbial keys to the car. This is also not meant to shame ourselves or them for it. It is to heal, to mature, and to integrate the power that we had at that age yet has been distorted.

If you take a look at the world through this lens, you may see it all acting out from this place of teenage wounding and lack of true initiation. Of course, that is not ALL that is going on but it is one big facet. If you were to visit and feel this part of you, you may be surprised by what may still be operating in the background of your emotional and even spiritual consciousness. The goal is to help free this part of you from the position of trying to be the adult when all he or she wants is to be felt as the magical, beautiful, and powerful being it is and was. They have a role in our lives that is not about being in control but about being initiated into our sacred mature humanity. The more we feel them and even challenge them, the more we can start to feel the real spiritual man and woman we truly are.

Inner Mother & Daughter Guided Meditation: Video 20 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Jelelle Awen & Kasha Rokshana

In this twentieth video of our 31 day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teachers/Co-Creators Jelelle Awen is joined by SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Kasha Rokshana as we explore Sacred Feminine Embodiment over the next five videos. Kasha and Jelelle have held many women’s group calls together exploring these topics through teachings, guided meditations, and taking in sharing from female participants on the calls.

In this video, we share about the parts of you representing your Inner Daughter and your Inner Mother, plus the dynamics between the two of them. We share about how the internalization of your relationship with your birth mother opens up deeper access to feel the maturation of your inner daughter and your mature feminine essence. We can often be caught up in loops of tension and polarization between the Inner Daughter and Inner Mother, recapitulating our relationship with our birth mothers and limiting our sacred feminine growth and embodiment.

We also share about how the Inner Mother gives us a sense of deeper compassion toward to birth mothers, understanding of how you relate to men and sexuality (as a reflection of her templating), and a bridge to Divine Mother. Your inner daughter holds the pure essence of your sacred feminine which is able to merge with the Divine Mother into an arising sacred feminine Queen expression.

In the guided meditation, you invite your Protector/Gatekeeper to connect you with your Inner Daughter in her room within your castle. You then bring your Inner Mother into the room with the Inner Daughter to get a sense of their relationship dynamic with each other. You are then both inviting to join Divine Mother in Her healing garden outside of the castle and to submerge into the waters of her healing pool.

Here is a link to the descriptions of women’s group calls with Jelelle and Kasha and links to purchase the recordings: https://www.soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series for free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

Inner Teenager Awakening Guided Meditation: Video 4 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

In this fourth video of our 31 day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teachers/Co-Creators Raphael and Jelelle Awen introduce you to another important part of your inner family formed during this lifetime, your Inner Teenager. Your Inner Teenager is not just the energy represented by the phase and stage after childhood and pre-adulthood, they also hold the pain and wounding of being the ‘black sheep’ of the family. As your soul consciousness started to awaken in your teens, a rebellion and individuation began that was necessary to separate from your family’s consciousness. Your Inner Teenager is often ‘stuck’ in their teenage bedroom with strong feelings of angst, depression, even suicidal feelings due to the rejection they received in this rebellion.

Instead of receiving initiation in all areas of life around relationships, sexuality, spirituality, passion purpose, etc., your inner teenager received most likely invalidation in these areas…and 3D-based conditioning that fed fears, dualities, and polarizations. Instead of a healthy phase of individuating from family, there is often push-pull, over-attachment and other unhealthy dynamics experienced by our inner teens. Connecting with your inner teenager allows them to receive the initiation and individuation that they most need in order to mature in all areas of life. This also helps with healthy social expression in relationships.

In the meditation today, Divine Mother and Father join us as we journey to your inner Castle to get permission from your Inner Protector to meet your Inner Teenager. You visit your teenage bedroom and meet them there (or wherever else they are). You feel what their world looks and feel like; what their joys and sorrows are; and begin to establish a relationship that leads to the opening out of much magic and love. You will also feel how they feel about being the ‘black sheep’ of the family and what needs to heal around that.

Thank you for joining us in this video….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time! You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeB…

To watch another video with Jelelle Awen about the Inner Teenager from her Deepen 2019 series, go here: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about two Deepen 2022 group calls on January 16th 30th, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022.

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D with more writings about the Inner Teenager, videos, and events, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free consultation call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Jelelle Awen, Raphael Awen, Gabriel Amara, and Kasha Rokshana, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

Unplugging And Healing The Black Widow Program And Aspect Within

A week from Sunday, Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call about the subject of Sovereignty and Surrender, joined by our brother in heart, James Elphick. We will be diving into a topic that feels to have a lot of vibration for us men (as well as the masculine in women).

I have been in process of feeling a deeper layer of my mother wounding that is connected to a shadow feminine matrix programming called Black Widow. This is the name I received from this part/aspect of me I have been connecting with around this energy. She first showed up as a black widow spider to illuminate the nature of this woundedness and the programming itself. Then she morphed into a dominatrix with whip, heels, and all.

After some time of connecting with her and feeling who she really is underneath that all, I could feel something lighten and begin to get more clarity about this energy that may live in a lot of us men. This energy that uses guilt, shame, judgment, sexuality, comfort, and fear to keep us locked in a lower frequency, a state of suffering, a lulled state of disempowerment, or inner and outer judgment/punishment.

It is an inner battle of wanting to free ourselves from this web she weaves that I feel we as men are really trying to feel sovereign from. When we are engaged with other women in intimacy, this can really flare up. It triggers this need to be independent yet also the need to be connected in one form or another. There is a part of us that is in a push and a pull toward this energy and it is hard to feel fully empowered and vulnerable at the same time.

When she has this wounded Inner Mother energy, our Inner Teenager can feel the need to push back and seek independence. If she comes as Punishing energy, we may feel defensiveness and another need to push back. When it comes in as Fear, we may go to fight or flight. When she comes with sexuality we lose ourselves in our need for validation.

This Black Widow program/wounding has lost her connection to Innocence and to her own worth. She guards as well as feeds off this energy. Possessing it for herself out of need, not really out of some negative agenda, though it certainly feels that way at first. When I connect more with her with Love, the more she goes into her pain and her fear. Here is where healing and true sovereignty begin.

I can start to feel when this energy frequency of doubt, judgement, anxiety, or fear come in and I go to her. I feel her afraid to lose touch with me. I recognized those feelings were a tactic to keep my younger parts close to her. I am now going to her and bring her with me into the New. Into the Light from the dark crevice I first met her in.

In her more healed essence, she is our creativity and our sensuality. She is a face of our sacred feminine and our intuition. She is our truth and our discernment. She is our surrendered sovereignty into Divine Trust. She is our entrance into the exit of the Matrix itself. She knows the way. She knows how it works and operates. With that we can start to unplug (a sovereign choice) and surrender into the the New Earth world that is awaiting our creative power to encode New Earth inside and then on the outside.

If you are feeling a resonance or a curiosity about this programming/wounded inner mother energy and how it has influenced your feeling of your personal empowerment, sovereignty, and maybe a fear of surrendering into vulnerability, please join Raphael, James, and myself on this upcoming men’s group call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information. We would love to have you and feel what is moving for you in this area.

I also offer a free 45-minute consult/information call for both men and women that are wanting to feel more about how the SoulFullHeart process and space-holding may support this deeper dive into your wounding and unplugging. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

I will be writing more about this topic in relation to romance, intimacy, and community in the following week so please stay tuned. Sending much love to all during these very intense, yet activating times.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Physical Body As A Tuning Fork | SoulFullHeart Session Testimonial

I received a wonderful email from a woman I currently facilitated in the SoulFullHeart parts work process and how it helped her move through a current emotional trigger. This is one aspect of the work that can really open up context and innerstanding as well as personal, self-to-self intimacy.

The physical body is like a tuning fork. It tells us when something is not quite humming in our natural frequency. In session space, I like to feel the body and see where the messages are. In that place there is a part of the emotional body that is attached to it. Using it as a direct line to your heart and soul awareness. Like an alarm bell asking for help and attention.

This part of you can assume a plethora of roles inside of you. Initially, it is generally an Inner Protector. Other times it can be and Inner Child or Inner Teenager. They also have there own relationship to each other that creates vibratory dynamics in your physical body.

When these parts are met and felt where they are at, it creates a going on place for you and them. It is just the beginning and not just a one-time catch and release. It is a relationship just like any other. It needs attention, consistency, and cultivation.

This part of the work may not be the sexiest when it comes to healing work but it is essential when ascending ALL of you. This life experience offers each of us a variety of experiences that are portals into the heart and the soul. It all eventually brings us back to the what has felt like the loss of Love. The Separation Wound.

So there is not one part of our healing that is better or small. It is all important and all sacred. If you are experiencing continued triggers or emotional/physical unrest, please get in touch for a free 45 minute introduction call to see if and how the SoulFullHeart process can bring in some much needed context and a going on place for continued growth and healing.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Reclaiming The Lost Boy Of Our In-essence

As a sensitive boy growing up, I could feel so much around me yet had no real guidance on how to interpret, digest, and integrate it all. This is really true for most if not all of us. The biggest piece I am revisiting now is the depth of my sexual trauma as a boy moving into manhood.
Confronted with so many images, energies, and conditionings around sex and sexuality, this boy in me found himself between a rock and a hard place (pardon the pun). There was the desire for innocence to be the name of the game. To dance with the essence in both the boy and the girl. Like a journey of discovery and playfulness.

Instead it was about fitting in to the dominant culture of woundedness. Girl became an object of my need to be validated as a man in the world. Her yoni a portal back into the womb of The Mother. But Girl was wounded too. She was looking for her own needs to be filled…so to speak
Now Boy is caught between fulfilling the needs of both the wounded masculine in his power over the feminine and the wounded feminine in her need to feel some hook into the masculine. Both invulnerable and unable to really see each other in their innocence or in-essence.

I reconnected with that boy in me again and replayed those days while feeling the innocence in contrast. The pain of what this boy packed away in order to survive in that world was heart-wrenching. I could feel the toxicity and pain swelling in my cells. All of the trauma that I never categorized as trauma because men don’t do that in what is just ‘those teenage years’.
If, as men, we were to really feel where we lost our innocence, we would really get to a core of who we are as a man. Why we have done, and to some degree still do, the things that we do. If we can ‘come to Jesus’ with this Lost Boy inside of us, we would find the root and beauty of our masculine innocence. Something we packed away a long fucking time ago.

In that innocence we also find the warrior who has fiercely protected him. The warrior who has both shadow to heal and truth to tell. Between them both is the Man who has a vulnerable heart and a willingness to call bullshit when he sniffs it. He is willing put his heart on the line but not his power. He is willing to seek forgiveness but not condemnation.

There has been no greater process for me than the one I am currently in. This Lost Boy in found again in my heart. I am loving him with every once of it that I have access to. It is my current sacred bromance. It is this process that activates and unearths more of my King or Sacred Sovereign Masculine Self. It is this process that leads me to more self-love and ability to see, feel, and relate authentically to the feminine within and without.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Remembering Our Starseed Essence

By Deya Shekinah

Every week the parts and themes we are feeling and connecting with through the ‘Free To Be Two’ group calls seem to be naturally interconnected, offering me a much bigger picture of myself, the world, and the Universe. 

My Inner Teenager, Yasmin, feels so connected to the collapse of the 3D Matrix. Feeling her is helping me collapse the matrices inside at the same time as I’m witnessing them collapse on the outside. Feeling where she was ‘plugged in’ through the school systems and birth family templating is helping me unravel all the beliefs and ideas she holds about who she is meant to be. 

Last week I could feel her in the school corridors, overwhelmed and unprepared for the huge transition that it was. I could feel her innocence, as she carried my Inner Child in her arms wearing PJ’s and holding a teddy bear. She quickly learnt to ‘grow up’ and hide her Inner Child and innocence so she could ‘fit in’ and ‘survive’. This created so much depression which I can still feel here now, as hidden with her childhood innocence was also her curiosity, her creativity, her sense of purpose, and her multi-dimensional connections.

Something that feels so rich within my Inner Child is this connection to the magic, to the mysterious, and to the stars. As life got denser through living in 3D, I forgot about the magical essence of my Inner Child as she seemed to get further and further away. I am now remembering her and feeling how she has been there all along as the one who was questioning everything and longing for Home. 

She feels like my Starseed, who is revealing herself organically as Yasmin is deeply digesting her experiences this life. She feels expansive, curious, and open to all the possibilities in this Universe. She restores the magic in this existence and reminds me of the bigger picture of all that is happening in our world right now. 

Connecting with my Starseed brings me into a deep peace within, as she helps me remember I have never been alone and that those who I have longed to go home to were always here with me, inside me, every step of the way.

You can join Raphael & Jelelle Awen today for the fourth call in our Free To Be 2 series, Navigating The Matrix Collapse to New Earth Transition, at 10:00am PDT with teachings and a guided meditation to connect to your Star Seed within, Star Family, and galactic consciousness. You can join live and/or receive the recordings for a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe2

Much Love, 

Deya x

Deya Shekinah is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: Finding Your Place Within The Fire

What a dynamic week this has been! A lot stirring up in the collective due to so many influences both terrestrial and cosmic. This week was a big focus on the Inner Teenager, truth-telling, passion purpose, Schumann resonance, crop circles, and the events unfolding in the US. You can read it here

Featured this week is a piece from Gabriel Heartman. In it, he addresses the riots that are underway in the US. He focuses on how the riots and the situation that sparked them are all a reflection of the suppressed violence within each of us and in the collective emotional body. He also offers that each of us has our own journey in response to these events:

What action and power do each of us have in these times when it feels like it is all coming unglued? I think that is one you have to ask yourself. What feels like the most aligned with your purpose here? If it is to advocate and protest, then I say do so with all the Love you have to muster. That is possible. If it is to hold the space for the Kali phase of this death and rebirth then hold it with the might and compassion of your heart and soul. If you are to shine the Light of the New Earth then shine that Mother with all the power and glory that is within you without compromise.

Related to this, is the suppressed truth and pain of the Inner Teenager that was felt in the last Free To Be 2 Group call on Wednesday, May 27th. There are writings that talk about our personal relationships and teachings about how the Inner Teenager influences our current lives and emotional body. 

The next ‘Free To Be’ group call series begins this Wednesday, June 3rd @ 10am PDT. The third call of this series will focus on the 3D/4D Matrix/Cabal Collapse. The 3D/4D Matrix and Cabal/Illuminati/Global Elite revelation and collapse that is happening now pushes up much to feel for the 3D Self that has needed to be plugged into this Matrix. There can also be a Reptilian Self plugged into the 4D AI Matrix on that level. You will connect with your 3D Self or Reptilian Self to offer them a deeper unplugging from the Matrix into liberation during the guided meditation.

You can offer a donation at any time and receive the recordings and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to. More information at https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 

In this week’s edition of our Museletter, there is a sample of the last group call as well as the recording of the last Facebook Livestream by Raphael & Jelelle. In it they discuss the current Covid Awakening Event and offer a Pleiadian/Dolphin guided meditation.  There are many new articles and audio blogs from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and Gabriel Heartman. Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

If you are interested in a session, we begin with a free consultation for 30-45 minutes over Zoom with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for you to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Process, what happens in sessions, mutually determine if the process is a fit for you at this time, and if so, which Facilitator to work with in sessions. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information.

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Suffering And Healing Of The Inner Teenager

Tomorrow in our next SoulFullHeart Free To Be group call, we will be diving into the Inner Teenager part of us that has a lot of wounding, BUT a ton of power and creativity. Right now the Inner Teenager may be coming out in a rebellious nature toward some of the ‘rules’ that are being implemented right now. There may also be a compliance as well. I know I had both in me in my teen years and struggled in the conflict between the two.

This conflict showed up as a desperate need to do well in school while being heavily into alcohol and smoking. I had a lot of mom/sister issues that showed up in my relationship to young women my age. It felt like an all-round hell zone for him in many ways. Trying like hell to fit in but not knowing which ‘in’ was really his.

As I feel him (his name is Chris, my birth name) from this vantage point, I can feel a soul that was winding down the 3D experience and struggling to reconcile that. Until of course he met Jill (aka Jelelle Awen) in college and the journey of self-discovery and authenticity began. It was a lot for him to let go of all that he thought he identified with (family, friends, relationships, conditioned ideas, etc).

He is very much into art and creativity and this too was a conflict as well with deep perfectionism that caused a lot of suffering. A battle between the masculine and feminine waged within. I feel him much more rested in with my inner teenage feminine and they seem to be in much more balance and harmony together.

In him there is a rebellion that just wants to go his own way without a fight. He doesn’t need to get angry anymore or judge others as this was always a judgement of himself. I feel a relief in him for no longer being in those days while still honoring all the process. There were lots of good times among the suffering. Those are what are now left in the memory banks when we look back.

Still much to heal around romance, intimacy, and sexuality but those are on their way with each passing day. Working with Chris in the early stages of my process was one of the most touching and healing parts of my journey. You don’t realize how much you are our teenager until you start to work with them.

If you are interested in connecting with and knowing more about your Inner Teenager, please join us for the next group call tomorrow at 10am PST. You can find out more info here:
soulfullheart.org/freetobe2 or purchase the link and soulfullheart.org/shop

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.