By Raphael Awen
What if the Divine is actually capable of boredom and loneliness?
The question itself is so far off our radar, that we’ve been incapable of asking it. We’ve been so trained to see God, or the Divine, as a projected perfection that contains only the things we desire and void of all the things we don’t desire.
Take the Christian view of Jesus as the Son of God portrayed in the text ‘In Him was light and no darkness at all’. Here is Jesus as the personification of the polarity of all that is good, right, holy, etc. The idea and feeling-toned-world we are sold with that is that ‘light and dark are at odds with each other, but thank God, we found the light and the light is stronger than the dark, so let’s hitch our wagon to the light and, fingers crossed, we should come out okay, if all goes as planned and promised. Be sure and keep the faith, now, brother’.
Really? Is that the best we could come up with?
So then, a Divine, or a God that is capable of boredom or loneliness definitely doesn’t fit the picture we hold of God. Hell, we’re so busy trying to escape our boredom and loneliness, why would we extol a God who suffers with the very thing we’re trying to escape? We want a God who can fix things, not one to commiserate with, right? It’s like, why would anyone want to hire a depressed life coach?
Or do we?
What if you are already as fixed as fixed can be, on a higher level, and the conscious you who’s living your ‘you’ life on the everyday level is just busy waking up to this fact? What if all the wounding and trauma you endured is all about your own personal and cosmic laboratory and factory of discovering the deeper bliss you already are?
And then if you at root are already this fullness of love, it would make sense that you wished to test this fullness in the trenches of what isn’t this love, or the farthest flung not-love deal you could come up with.
Honey is a great thing with a scoop or two in your drink, but when it is all there is, then you want to escape it. It bores you. You long for and become lonely for an ‘other’ to remove you from your ‘oneliness’ problem. You seek ‘twoliness’. Godhood is inherently lonely and boring, left without duality, and story, and other.
So what if then, what you and I have branded the negative is all contained in a larger container of the positive, and this positive just needed an ever expanding playground to come to know itself, and the way it is doing that is through you and me?
This then means something like you and I, along with all the rest of us ARE God, in the laboratory and factory of coming to terms with this love allness that contains the all.
God isn’t interested in basking in bliss, thank God. God wanted and needed polarity and duality and drama. You came here for a ‘dual enlightenment’, not a non-dual one.
If this is true for you, as it is for me, then it leads us to explore and get to know the parts of us who have suffered in loneliness and boredom. Loneliness and boredom are the two biggest game changers in my life that have pretty much forced my life changes every single time. This is a burden to bear, a load, a suffering, if you will, that we are called to bear. The point in all this is to mitigate this suffering so that you are not suffering over this suffering. It’s one thing to bear loneliness and boredom, it’s another to allow it to live on in you, unchecked, unaddressed, unfelt, unrelated to.
First, we need to recognize where we are, and what we’ve been tasked with. Then we need to embrace the light of the fact that we are light and dark, and both are equally sacred. Then we need to get to know and love these parts of us who have suffered greatly and are in need of this dawning-light-of-day emancipation into our arising heart space.
That should keep us busy for a good bit, huh? Let’s do that till we tire of it, and then we can see what’s next!
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.