I have been feeling recently my 3D Self emerging out of the intensity of the 10/10 portal and eclipse passage. She is represented by the entire waveform of my birth name, Bianca Gieber, and has come out of the peaking of/immersion in the 3D/4D matrix that I had been feeling inside of myself that I shared about in my last post. Besides her, I have also been feeling my Reptilian aspect again, as both these aspects are actually intertwined with each other and I could feel that wrapping up in each other when feeling both of them. Feels like these two energies have been behind my Gatekeeper aspect that I had been sharing about and she had been protecting my 3D Self all along, with so much care for her.
When I started feeling my 3D Self, I felt a lot of shame/self-hatred, a filtering of life through the lens of it not being good/safe, self-doubt, unworth and that there is no goodness in life, that life is difficult and everything has to be fought for and that she has always been alone, left alone, especially by the Divine. That way, being a huge aspect of my Lone Wolf that was reflected in corresponding life choices. With that filter applied, the goodness that had been in my life, was not able to be received and seen as such but rather made into something bad or rather not real. A very painful mechanism.
I have been feeling with her the legacy of my birth name, particularly the last name, that is carrying all these frequencies and she has worn them like a very thick coat. But I could also feel that all of those frequencies/layers are not really her, her true essence.
I was able to feel with her her own rich and deep connection to the Divine, and specifically to Mother Mary, who she and my entire soul seem to have a special connection with.
In her connection with Mary, she came through as clearly and deeply as never before, yet in such a real and grounded way and with authentic emotions. The experience I’m having now with Mary is much more personal and intimate. The connection I have had before with her, as Bey Magdalene, was a bit more airy/lofty, but my 3D Self feels like is the uplink to a real and grounded embodiment of Mother.
Through her struggle of not feeling the goodness in life and feeling almost in a quandary about her loyalty to that feeling, the very clear and visceral message/intuitive feeling came through that Mother IS an aspect of me as well and deserves to be felt just as much as it is necessary to feel the difficult things.
The reunion between her and Mother was very deep and teary, both weeping over having missed each other and finally having found each other again. My 3D Self was claimed as a Divine Daughter and Mary apologized to her too that it has been so difficult for her and that she wasn‘t able to feel her and connect with her, even though she has been right there all along, all my life.
The forgiveness frequencies between these two have been so powerful and have had a powerful impact on my spiritual and emotional well-being.
Her question and lament, why she had been plugged in so deeply into the matrix, has been answered inside of myself too. Along with the pain that, despite being a 3D Self, she never really felt that she was particularly good at it/equipped for it. It seems that she is needed as an ambassor to those in similar circumstances and if she would have been really good at navigating 3D life, she might not have awoken. Yet I could feel with her how this dimension/reality has always felt strange to her and that she didn’t really believe it herself.
A deep filtering of life through compartmentalization is falling away as a result as well as a need to ‘be by the book’ and a new flow and responding to every moment is coming online and ready to be embodied.
I can feel her letting in that reframe and new Divine/Soul purpose and how it is helping her heal her relationship to the matrix, her family and geographical origins that were both VERY dense as well as heal her relationship to the Divine.
I could feel so much care coming online in her that she has always had, yet had to numb because it was too painful to care and there hasn‘t been a container/energy to be able to digest all this care with up until now.
This care coming online now and my heart coming online through it in a much deeper way is such a gift that I‘m getting from and through her that I‘m so grateful for and that is so needed too as I have been wanting to feel my care for the world and humanity in these unprecedented times that we have never seen before. Yet a care that is grounded in and answered by the Divine inside of myself, to be able to digest and hold the pain too that comes with this care.
I can also feel an interesting relationship between my Inner Teenager and my 3D Self that is just starting to get a bit clearer. It feels like she has been a bit of a reluctant parent to her, yet also protecting her out of care for her. I have been wondering why I hadn‘t been more rebellious as a teenager, yet my 3D Self offered that it just was too dangerous to do that, with such a dark and abusive birth mother, whose energies and transmissions she had been taking in and absorbing over the years, shaping her, ‚messing her up‘ to quote her. So she felt it was much safer to comply, even if it was very begrudgingly.
I feel my 3D Self came in/was formed in my early teenage years as well, as a response to those very challenging and dense energies on the outside. That was also around the age my 3D Self had started to reach for alcohol to numb that darkness and abuse that came her way in order to numb it/cope with it. Yet only feeling that pain and answering it with Divine Love, will actually bring healing to it while anything else just covers it up.
Now that she has been felt and freed up more and her presence/existence deeply acknowledged and recognized as very much needed in order to complete me, miraculous shifts have been occurring inside of myself, as she is an important aspect of myself that had been anchored in 3D and thus was resisting to move into soul purpose with me and partake in the goodness frequencies in my life so far. Only through connecting with these aspects of us that feel they cannot partake in the goodness, the spirituality, the soul purpose expression is how we are actually able to do and embody that.
She is an ambassador in her own rights and we already started that journey in meditation space this morning when she and Mary organized an apparition in my hometown in Austria that is so dense, in so much pain and that doesn’t seem to have a lot of hope and Divine Inspiration. Casting those beautiful Divine frequencies over my hometown felt so healing and felt like it inspired something in its residents and at least planted a seed in them. A remembrance of their own Divinity.
Here is a meditation to connect with your 3D Self.
I’m so curious to go more into her relationship to my Reptilian as well as my Inner Teenager as I can feel it is a very rich ground. Some of that will be covered in today’s group call, I’m sure, that will be about the Inner Teenager. I can already feel more teenage sass coming online through connecting with my 3D Self and healing all the layers of pain that have been guarding her heart. I feel her off to the Galactic too, being a galactic ambassor and Galaxy trotter, with the Cosmos being her home.
Here is a guided meditation video to begin the connection to your Inner Teenager.
Raphael and Jelelle will be exploring the world of the Inner Teenager in our group call today at 5:00pm GMT/London/Lisbon & Noon EST. We will also offer a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Teenager, deepen the healing between you, opening up the bond that is just ‘waiting’ for you. More info to offer donation to attend on our website or on Facebook
*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.