Falling Yin Love

twins-dancing

Over the past few days I have been going into my heart and soul to feel what I am being guided to offer and express. In the process it was not about solving or figuring anything out. A distinctly masculine approach. One that I have used often. I felt to reboot my relationship to more Yin energies within me. To do so is to go in rather than out. From that came an idea to start a possible book or something like it titled “Going Yin”. It is an exploration of what it means to feel our Yin nature as a human male. What are the themes that are so different from our wounded masculine tendencies? How do those live inside me and how do they shift the way I feel and perceive myself, life, reality, and love? There is a great shift happening and I am being guided to feel more into this as being in a more Yin space will offer many gifts in the arising unknown. To dance with it rather than fight it.

Words on paper. That is what I am being guided to do. While a part of me is questioning this “strategy” to starting a book, I immediately can feel the energy of plan and structure. I am not judging this, just noticing it. I was inspired to begin a…God knows what word could be inserted here…a free verse of a journey into the inner feminine of a male human being. The needs of strategy, planning, and structure are apparent as I have language and purpose to attend to but it is more an experiment in energy and intuition, and a trust that I have those already embedded in me. I feel the logical part of me wanting to reread this and check for clarification and profundity.

There is a great example. I have never used that word ‘profundity’ in my life (that I am conscious of). I am sure I heard it, was given a definition or context, and stored it somewhere. But I would have never used that word by structured choice. It came out of me through just listening to my intuition. My stream of consciousness. That, to me, feels very Yin in nature and the very reason why I am choosing to embark on this. While I have been on a very Yin-based awakening process, I still find myself relating to life, in all its variegates (okay now it is getting silly), with a more masculine filter and reaction. I love my logic and reasoning. Don’t get me wrong. They are still a huge part of who I am, and who we are as human beings. I just feel this over-emphasis on it as a way of being and perceiving in the world. It is a deep wound based in fear and separation, or the fear of separation to be more specific. That is my sense of it. This could be elaborated on, clarified, or just plain changed over the course of my journey.

The impetus for this desire has arisen through my conscious awakening way of life called SoulFullHeart. It was founded by Jelelle and Raphael Awen as means to access our emotional pain body to allow the healing that is needed for us to awaken to our essence as divinely Infinite Love. It was birthed from Jelelle’s connection to the Divine Mother and the hard to feel reality that Her love, as well as Divine Father’s, has been misplaced in the shadow of our collective wounding, which is masculine in nature. A journey back to balance is felt as crucial as we find ourselves on the brink of global uncerntainties. But there is even a bigger picture. One of ascension. That there is a dimensional transition underway. One that part of an evolutionary process. A quickening. Gaia is moving into a 5th dimensional era. I don’t exactly know what I totally mean by that to be honest. I know there are all sorts of ideas and information out there. I am just downloading my own interpretation and will be exploring that further in my heart as well as with those that I am closest to. Regardless of the specifics, the point is there is something big happening. (In Yin time it has already happened, is continuing to happen, and will be happening…all at the same time. Yeah…no sense thinking about it.) The metaphysics of this I leave to my good friend, mentor, and co-yinner Raphael Awen.

What I feel is needed in this time of change is a good deal of Yin. A trust and an surrender in something that contains us and is there for us when we feel lost and in the process of change. We are being born into something new. A new way of relating, of communicating, and creating. All rooted in the beauty and power of Infinite Love. But there is much to feel in all of it. We have much to feel as our limited perception of reality will be challenged and the pain of our past, present, and future will be exposed to be felt in order to move on. Regardless of where I, or any of us “end up”, it is all still wrapped in Love.

But I feel beyond this picture of Yin as a life-preserver, for if I solely see it as that then I am coming from fear that I will be “left behind”, I want to experience life from a more Yin seat of being. That is to not become a woman, but to experience my authentic masculine expression. It through the sacred feminine that I feel our sacred masculine arises. Our strength, heart, passion, sex, and creativity are all made whole and more in line with our divinely masculine nature. So in a way, I am more on a journey toward my Yang through the mysterious and admittedly scary waters of Yin’s birth canal. I feel changed in my being somehow just by writing this. Something shifting toward my desire, creativity, and purpose. I feel supported and guided to continue the next set of words, whenever they arise, wherever they lead. This is the heart of Yin and I think I am falling in love.

Sequoia Heartman is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Healing Our Hijacked Masculinity: Sacred Masculinity Blog Series

By Raphael Awen

sacredmasculine

Let’s dive into some more big picture stuff.

I offered in a previous post that you can call it the sacred masculine or divine masculine if you want to, but masculinity itself (like femininity itself) needs no such adjective. Adding the reverential is for you. It offers a way to expand your consciousness to a higher plane. Awe, wonder, and reverence are the result of coming out of the locked-down state of normal waking consciousness and being allowed to see depths of reality that are normally screened out of awareness by powerful parts of ourselves. Worship doesn’t effect divinity, it effects you. It effects you into your own divinity.

I am a man, male in gender, showing up in this 3rd dimension of reality currently as a 55 year old, with a name and a back story (a his-story). I have dreams for my future (a her-story) yet to play out in this time dimension phenomenon of past, present and future thing that we all dance with.

But all of this is just how I show up. What I am is actually an energy flow of infinite love. My true being and my higher self is ethereal. The manifestation of this energy here in 3D land is what is showing up as Raphael with enough continuity and distinction that this ‘me’ energy gets to participate in many things, one of which is masculinity. Another is femininity. I am a manifestation of both gender expression energies with a polarity that is weighted around the masculine, evidenced in my physical and emotional body. I am energy dancing in polarity. I sit here in this thing called a moment, using my thumbs on a thing called an IPad, using another phenomenal invention of linguistics to convey another phenomenon of thought and directable heart energy to convey meaning! My god, that any of us don’t just explode in any and every moment is an energy/miracle/management phenomenon itself of stunning proportions.

Instead we find ourselves bored and needing something called entertainment.

What happened?

How could life itself have become so tamed?

The other day, Jelelle Awen and I stepped into a large touristy store on the Malecon seawall asking about sunglasses, and the clerk about my age wanted to show me the ‘farmacia’ section, taking me over there, pointing out the various medications and pausing on the Viagra. ‘No necesito’ I replied. He looked at me persistently with one eye brow raised while glancing and nodding over in Jelelle’s direction. I had to again reassure him that I didn’t need or want his offer. Jelelle said later I should maybe have asked the guy if he had a pill that could do the opposite.

Today, we need a drug to stiffen the cock, an app to have a relationship and a movie to draw a tear. We have been hijacked from the essence of life itself and have been offered the cheapest and most degrading and demoralizing substitutes. We’ve been robbed off life, and robbed of awareness of the crime and blindly offered fixes.

Who we really are and what we really are hasn’t gone away. It’s still here and available. The only thing holding it back from awareness is powerful parts of you who became convinced that raw life is too risky unless life is heavily medicated and managed with these deep dimming effects upon your perception and experience of reality.

Getting to know, feel and heal these parts of ourselves is the path into our masculinity. It is also the path into the sacred marriage of our inner femininity with our masculinity inside of ourselves. Only this inward journey can truly change anything in our outer expression.

Joining a spiritual men’s group can afford you some ground for the masculine to have reflection and drama, but until that translates into deep inner self discovery, you are only fused with the parts of you posturing around as a stiff cock or a limp cock, while the true energy of you is capped off upstream and left mostly unavailable to you, remaining a deep mystery to be explored is a later life.

Real manhood is about this inward journey. The true Shamans of our time are those who know this journey and can guide others into their own sacred journey. Ayahuasca can show you a vista or two, but it cannot take you to that reality as your waking reality. It takes a man living a real life, identifying what he really wants and finding the courage to choose that at any cost to know this manifestation of his infinite love energy essence firing on all cylinders in this earthly domain.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Moving Beyond Mediocre Manhood: Sacred Masculinity Blog Series

By Raphael Awen

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Mediocre manhood. Those two words don’t really belong in the same sentence. Sadly though, we can’t escape the reality as it exists today…..or can we?

Escaping mediocre manhood will require awareness of how you are showing up as man, what isn’t working for you, the humility to admit it and the choice to seek something more.

How each of us as men have become the man we are has so much to do with the patterns of manhood that we were shown. These patterns were ingrained into us on so much more than a cognitive level going to the very heart of our being.

The word ‘pattern’ is from the same original word for the words; father; pater; papa and patriarch. Our father is literally our pattern, our ‘patron’ Saint, our admission into the ‘patriarchy’. Each of us as men is running a kind of emotional operating system that came to us via our fathers. Our father got it from his father, and so on and on. It may not be our father, or even a man in the role of our father, but all of us as men received intense male patterning and templating for every boy and man around us.

It is only as the contents of this,…let’s call it our EOS (emotional operating system) become conscious and brought up into our awareness, that we can even begin to move out of mediocrity in our manhood.

Here alone is a big step. Most men have a codependent relationship with all men and especially their fathers whereby they agree not to speak any ‘negativity’ towards their fathers. What this really is, is an agreement to keep the patriarchy intact from generation to generation. Only as you refuse to participate in the insanity will you find any ground to leave the insanity. This means you’re going to have get critical about dad and his pattern as it lives in you. I don’t know how else to say it. You don’t need to be a superiorizing asshole about it, but you can’t escape critique. Your critique will need to be vocal enough to exit the insanity. Being critical beyond that is just cycling in an enmeshed relationship men, dads, and male friends.

Unless you are willing to say no to every man, you can’t actually find your deepest version of your truest manhood. You may not need to say no to every man, but you will need to be willing to say no if your goal is your highest expression of your manhood. You don’t owe your dad a thing, and a healthy self realized dad doesn’t expect a thing in return for his role and years as a father. Actually, the greatest gift a dad can receive from their son is their ‘fuck you dad!’ of individuation, which ideally should come around 18 years old. Now, after this healthy completion of the childhood phase, dad and son can go on to forge a totally new relationship with the old one having truly died and been reborn.

Only now, after this death and rebirth, can new patterns be explored and come to be a part of a new EOS. This is the real initiation into manhood that is not only missing in our culture, but so missing from all of the manhood groups I have encountered this far.

Men want more. It’s in them at their very core. No amount of conditioning can erase that. Conditioning can and does try to manage and suppress this wanting of more which is in itself is a testimony to this essence in a man.

Exploring this ‘more’ will be finding and feeling and healing all the aspects of your EOS that no longer serve your most authentic version of yourself arising. The way this is done in SoulFullHeart is through getting to know the parts of you that makeup your ‘you’ stream. You are far from a single personality. This is probably no more evident than in relation to your masculinity. Our parts can and do respond very differently in different situations. You are not insane. You are multi-dimensional. You have more than one you, several more in fact.

Until you come to discover your parts or subpersonalities, some part of you is posing as you, working so much harder than is healthy to keep your ‘you’ show running uncontrollably on the mediocre default patterns that are in the male collective.

More about the SoulFullHeart Subpersonality Healing Process Here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/soulfullheart-subpers…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Venturing Into The Unknown: Sacred Masculine Blog Series

By Raphael Awen

 

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So what is this thing out there called ‘the sacred masculine’ or, as it’s equally referred to, ‘the divine masculine’?

The sacred masculine, like the sacred feminine, isn’t easily defined or contained in words, because they are both an energy, a force, a wave form of a specific bandwidth of frequency. They are an awareness of something more than what is in your current consciousness around the masculine or the feminine. It’s a humble admission of ‘I know that I don’t know.’ Herein lies its qualification to be referred to as the divine, or sacred,….it’s in the humility to be in wonder, and to have a reverence for something more that you want, but don’t currently have.

The masculine, however, is by itself sacred. Masculinity itself doesn’t really need the words sacred or divine to designate it as anything more than it already is. In a profound way, two guys sharing beers in a bar, checking out women and watching football is a form of the masculine out seeking to know itself. Even Donald Trump’s recently much maligned words about women is a form of the masculine out trying to know itself. Admittedly, there isn’t any awareness or consciousness around wanting more, or anything touching on an expression of what we’d call the ‘reverent’ to be found here, but even in this unconsciousness, masculinity is out seeking to know itself.

Masculinity itself, like femininity, is the reverent thing. It can’t be made any more or less reverent than it already is. The only thing there is to change is your relationship to it. It’s the ground of your relationship to the thing, not the thing itself that either lets in or holds at bay the reverence factor. To feel this is the beginning of reverence. It’s the beginning of making space for the sacred inside of you.

What is it that you want in relationship to the masculine? What is it that you feel is lacking or missing in your relationship to the masculine? This wanting and willingness to admit a missing piece is what is the essence of your relationship to the masculine. It is making space for desire. It is making space for longing.

That’s just about all for the moment, except that I welcome working with you personally and directly in dedicated session space man to man if what I offer and the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life offers calls to you. Our sessions page is here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Stay tuned for more on the sacred masculine!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about healing sessions with Raphael.