Painting by Dustin Myers (DustinMyersArt.com)
Many tears this morning as I went into meditation to feel what has been wanting to download into me the past few days. It has been nights of what I call shallow sleep and even some insomnia. In the past I have found myself in times of deep frustration and irritation over it, but this go around I chose to find a different ground with it. Not that I didn’t have a round or two of it. Allowing the ebbs and flows of energy be what they have been. To my soldier, Alexander, it has been a struggle not to feel like life was just passing him by. Not easy to surrender into SOULdier.
To surrender into trust feels to be a very difficult piece for parts of us to lean into. It takes a growing sense of our arising sacred humanity to hold that. To let in that what is happening, or may need to happen, is all part of our greater growth. How we respond to it is the level of our maturation. Even to be honest with my immaturity around it is a sign of maturation. But when we think of maturing in the old 3D way, that has lead to a very rigid set of beliefs that has cut us off from the expansiveness and joys of our divine inheritance as cosmic children at play and wonder.
As I laid on my bed listening to some very angelic and galactic music, I felt the swell of tears begin to surface. I felt something beyond and underneath Alexander that wanted to bubble up. A star being energy that I could feel as very young but very ancient at the same time. A consciousness that is feeling the cap of limitation that has surrounded me in my life and that feels to have been so instrumental to my pain this life. A deeper layer of the onion. I felt not just an ache for “home” from him, as much as it was an ache for “more”. More of what reality “really” is. As I felt this being, I could feel it as both me and not me. He feels like an innocence that was buried under the gravity of this dimension. Of the amnesia. Inside of Alexander.
He says his name is Zetti and he so much wants to come out and help me remember what is so magical about the universe. About what we are as human beings. What our “role” is in the greater galactic context. There is still so much war happening and the return to innocence is a salve to that energy. But this return is not easy. It has choice points and feeling spaces that require us to be courageous and vulnerable. To actually mature into our innocence. The innocence that sees the world in its natural technicolored magic. The innocence that never gave up on dreaming even if it didn’t go the way we wanted. We just changed the rules of the game!
So did I come out seeing things I that were left unseen in the physical? No, not yet. I received a gift of feeling and awareness. Of realizing that there is so much more going on in our inner universe that is just seeking out its time to be felt. I felt the abundance of love and support that is IN here rooting me, and us, on. I still feel tired but that is okay. I just keep letting that be and let in more of what wants to come through and in. It is all setting the table for more love to enter my house. New romance is in my energetic front yard knocking on my door. New community members coming to visit and engage deeper into this extraordinary way of life. New interest in what this healing path can offer for those that are feeling the reSOULnance of this offering.
The Lion/Lioness energies feel like both our leadership/maturation and our innocence in sychronistic dance together. Both distinct and yet the same. It this holding and feeling of polarity and unity that we have come here to experience. To feel all the fun and sorrow that life has to offer in our growth and experience. As we heal, there is undoubtedly more fun on the flip side, and I feel myself landing heart UP toward MORE.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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