By Jelelle Awen

Many worlds you live in and walk in and BE in. Many versions of you show up for each of these worlds. There are the masks that parts of you slip on and wear as needed….each ‘world’ requiring something different in energy, tone, and response. You ‘put it on’, you wear it even as it wearies you more and more to be worn like this. You are like a quick change artist, perhaps shifting without consciousness into new OUTfits many times a day.

All these different worlds leave you stretching over the gaps between who you really ARE and what they EXPECT you to be. The formfitting happens from parts of you that know so well how to do this and have become experts at conforming in this way.

Part of you has become a camouflage creature, able to become just like ANY environment that you are in. You can become the color of the social scenery around you, blend right in. This was the order of the day to survive; this is 3D life that requires a heightened sense of self preservation that is about NOT being yourself, yet about being like EVERYONE else.

During awakening, you start to wake up from your sleep walk. You start to SEE through each of these worlds. You visit the sets and stages. You begin to recognize the props and costumes that you are required to wear. You feel where continual suffering is the badge of entry in and the energy needed to remain. You see the others that were once close to you start to fade from your interest as they stay invested in these worlds and you begin to pull out. They may grab at you and you may go back, in a push-pull and mixed feelings conflictual dance with many things learned on both sides.

Sometimes, you feel like a ghost walking once familiar and comforting hallways that can no longer provide you a place to BE in solid form. Sometimes, you feel like a bull dozer, purposely collapsing these worlds and your place in them….clearing the way for the NEW. Sometimes you are a phoenix…rising from the ashes of all this fiery wreckage to BE reborn without constraints or limits. Sometimes you are a little child, just sobbing in the corner as you wait for a parent to take your hand and show you the way home.

There are no straight lines to follow or linear directional paths to navigate this shifting and sorting out of your worlds. Increasing LOVE for yourself and with others and with the Divine provides heartlines that you can use to navigate in the lost moments. The heartlines disappear at times too, as they are meant to as these are the moments where you inner strength truly grows. You are free falling into the abyss of lost self identity as the roles fall away, along with the attachments and the rules and expectations too.

Yet you begin to trust more and more that you will land on the soft soil of your own soul’s kNOWing and into the arms of the Divine. You begin to find your home. You more often return to love as THIS is the world that offers the most nourishment. And, you start to remember how always will you return, eventually, to the love that you actually ARE!

~

Jelelle Awen
This writing is from my book, Bliss Mess: available in ebook, PDF, and print: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books

1:1 bridging sessions available w/me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator to connect to these different worlds and the parts of you that span them:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session