By Kalayna Solais
It’s a very real process, integrating and loving UP the ‘3D Self’… even if you feel like don’t have one anymore, sometimes the triggers are still there, the anchors back into defensive, charged, or even diffusive 3D frequencies sometimes still become activated, and all that means is that there is understandably still something there, some part(s) of you inside of you that need the love you’ve been downloading to reach them and help them ascend WITH you.
It’s become ‘normal’ for me to feel waves of activations and higher timeline shifts bring up what still needs to be felt and integrated. Sometimes a deeper reaction from a part of me stays hidden for a while beneath the bliss, yet eventually these parts have to surface. I find sometimes that a part of me has buried itself out of shame for still feeling the way it does about certain things, wanting to transmute itself without asking for me directly or asking to land its uncertainties and lingering pain in my heart. Yet my parts can’t actually stay in this place for too long. They leak out or jump out sometimes and if I don’t catch what’s going on, usually someone else who is close to me will and the mirror that I need will be offered.
Specifically for me, I’m talking about my latest process with a part that I’m feeling is the embodiment of my 3D Self right now. She goes by the name I went by for the majority of my life. I realized that she still holds so much pain about my/our physical body, our image, wanting to look a certain way and never feeling happy about it and actually very often feeling disempowered. She has held this energy for so many years. There’s an acute self-consciousness in her that I have to deeply feel and hold right now, especially as I embrace being a leader and a vulnerable one at that, and move forward with serving love. She needs the love I want to serve to land in her. There’s a cost if it doesn’t… if I don’t embrace and feel her, I’m incomplete in a way, and serving from a place of vacant self love in at least the physical regard, though I also suspect she holds pain about spiritual access, whether or not we truly have the skills needed to serve, etc.
I can only keep holding and honouring her deeply as I’ve been practicing with all of my parts for many years now. There’s no room in me to vilify or shame her for still being ‘here’ and not having completely integrated yet, though I get that another part of me has done this in moments or at least tried to help her stay buried instead of healed.
It feels like it’s so often the 3D Self that gets neglected when anyone pursues being a leader of any kind… especially when we’re talking about leading the way through Ascension and deep healing. But nothing has ever deeply transmuted or healed without love. Neglect begets more trauma and often some form of sabotage of the higher timeline too.
I feel this part’s edges and curves… I feel her loves and her strong dislikes…. I feel her reactions and together we are realizing where they’re coming from. Now we get to find our way through the forest together and help her move into something brand new that she has never deeply believed was possible.
The pathway to true Ascension is through the heart. The humility of the inner process that brings you home to yourself over and over again. This is what we’re here to remember and live into, honouring all that we are and have been as we live into who and what we are becoming every day. ❤️
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.