by Kalayna Solais
Letting in REAL sisterhood… the kind where you aren’t calling each other ‘sister’ because of blood or because somehow spirituality has told you that you ‘should’ in order to honour oneness and acknowledge, even just on the surface, our equality.
Real sisterhood is about calling each other ‘sister’ from the depths of our healing hearts as women. It becomes a declaration of love coming from the sisterhood inside, healing between parts within us who have been against each other for different reasons, and making space for this same frequency and depth of healing to happen between souls we are connected to on the outside.
This is new. This isn’t a process for which the depths of it have really been acknowledged. It’s challenging to look at how deep and often unconscious the competitiveness, comparison, and fear of each other lives and breathes within each of us as women. Simply starting to call each other ‘sister’ only reaches so deep. It so easily becomes a label without a heartbeat and without genuine care about each other.
To care about each other as sisters in soul and heart requires an awful lot of letting ourselves in, of feeling how and why it’s been hard to have deep intimacy with other women both in this life and in other lifetimes too and the karmic binds alive in them. It’s easy enough to let parts of us claim that this is a result of our conditioning and the messages in the media alone… yet, when we bring this inward, we can feel how yes, the outside influences have been there for a very long time, yet where the looping of this conditioning can finally close and heal is on the inside and this is where those lifetimes of persecution and pain can finally heal too.
Since the latest women’s call last weekend and for a few weeks beforehand, I’ve been letting in resonant relationships with other young women around my age who are doing the same SoulFullHeart process work that I’ve been doing for years now. We are taking the space to connect together, sometimes for several hours at a time over video call since we don’t live in the same country at the moment and can’t connect in person. We update each other on our personal processes and feel them together while we also clear anything that needs to be felt and cleared between us, feeling our hearts in the space and the desire to become closer. We feel our soul resonance and soul sisterhood on a deep level wanting to become more of a felt reality between us. This is not something I’ve experienced very often, especially with women my age, and that’s been so painful that parts of me in the past have shut down the desire for it altogether.
This is all an expansion of what I’ve experienced moving in me for years now with Raianna and Jelelle as part of this process too… but to be experiencing this with young women in my actual ‘peer’ group is a whole other thing, not surprisingly!
There are moments of caution that arise in these connections. On my side, I feel where this comes from is how often parts of me have felt ignored or unwanted by other women. The social pain of this continues to be flushed out, as even this morning I felt with a part of me that I’m calling my ‘Inner Sister’, how foreign it feels to really be ‘seen’ in my gifts by women my age and to SEE them in theirs too without feeling jealousy or defensiveness first. There are concerns for this part of me that we are/she is the ‘problem’, always, in every connection that goes sideways or when painful reflections are sometimes offered about how we’ve impacted others when connecting with them. Feeling shame takes over for feeling compassion for where the other person is coming from. This is all so much about intimacy though, and having a deep and real connection with other women needs to just feel strange and foreign and unknown until it becomes the new normal to be in these sort of ‘catalytic’ (not ‘catty’) relationships that get to expand the healing and growth on both sides. And, ultimately, the feelings of shame and being ‘the problem’ live inside of me between parts of me and this is the only place where these reactions and projections can fully heal.
We truly cannot place expectations on other women around us to become ‘sisters’ in a deep way without acknowledging the work that needs to be done within and between each other. This process though is so worth every moment of tension and expansion, because it IS what seeds the ‘reLOVEution’ we’ve been wanting to experience in how we relate to and treat one another, especially as feminine energies who are all here to be in our bigger soul purpose work and Divine Feminine LOVE ambassadorship!
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.