Letting Go Of Serving/Community, To Serve, Love, And Commune With Myself

by Kalayna Solais

“The energy released through the act of Confrontation is the resource from which the new self is created. To be sure, it takes great courage to look within, but the universe will not present to you what you are not ready to see… we will never be given a burden greater than our ability to carry.” — from Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru

Lately, I’ve been in a process of really diving deep within to confront anything and everything that has been keeping me from leading to my fullest capacity and deeply inhabiting service…. which is also everything that’s been keeping me from ME, from loving myself in a deeper and fuller way, and also loving others in the deep way they deserve without energies of comparison and intense projections of all kinds.

I’ve been having to take space from my community and them from me during this ongoing process… and that also means not facilitating or offering intro calls to others. I’ll also not be leading the SAFE calls for women with Jelelle, like the one tomorrow.

I feel surrendered and sad. Hopeful and remorseful. I’m mourning the old timelines that are collapsing but grateful that it’s time for something new to arise from the ashes. I feel the tenderness, unknown, and even insecurity that comes up in claiming this space for myself but the alchemy and opportunities in this too, to finally uproot and HEAL what’s been allowed to live inside of me for so long, well beyond this life. This is the business of deep soul shadow work and I’m grateful for the degree of trust I have around it, even though it’s so challenging sometimes to hold it all. In moments, it feels like I’m going to implode. But even then… once the waves that feel like they’re going to drown me ebb again, a grace comes through, something bigger than the ‘me’ I’ve been, holding me. And that I’m leaning into as a vital part of my own personal healing and Ascension journey that I can’t put off anymore and that needs my intense sobriety and focus.

I highly recommend having a free 30-45min intro call with Raphael Awen or Gabriel Heartman… both are heart open, wonderful men that can be deeply trusted and they are so ready to show up for you and all parts/Metasoul aspects of you. 

Also, if you are a woman, I very much recommend checking out Jelelle Awen’s SAFE call tomorrow. Even if you can’t make it live, you can purchase the recording. It’s $15 CAD to attend/receive the recording. Jelelle’s energies of Divine Feminine/Mother are gentle yet catalytic and I have benefitted greatly from everything she has ever offered me in session space and beyond.  More info on the event tomorrow here: https://www.facebook.com/events/939184226480490/

Much love to you and with you,
Kalayna

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, a healing healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Process Of Uncovering Gratitude

by Kalayna Solais

Feels strange and yet somehow ‘right’ to have ‘Canadian Thanksgiving’ tomorrow, even though in my life I feel like on a multi-dimensional level, gratitude is continuing to deepen and expand out from me and parts of me at every turn.

This year, I feel like it’s a time to really, soberly, look at, see, FEEL my life as it is and not force my parts into an ‘attitude of gratitude’ but to really feel them in where they might still be tripping over the whole concept of being grateful and why.

I know that inside of me and in my process over the years there’s been a lot of layers of entitlement to feel and heal. I’ve felt though, with each part that’s had this disposition, that underneath the entitlement is a sense of a lack of worthiness. A sense that they won’t get what they want unless they fight for it and ultimately too, a belief that they won’t actually EVER get what they want and that others will instead.

I’m still feeling into what’s truly underneath that meme that’s been ringing and pinging inside for so long and on a soul level too, yet it’s being uncovered with effort and desire to heal it. And, it feels like this ‘Thanksgiving’ celebration day tomorrow helps to bring in some sort of intention around it… around truly and viscerally healing the entitlement that still lingers and moving it into even deeper gratitude than I already feel.

Really feeling our gratitude is actually quite the process. Any bypassing that’s had to be done in order to ‘get there’ actually just buries the parts that feel like they aren’t getting what they want or even what they need, especially from you to you, you to them, parts of you to other parts of you in their relationship with each other.

There’s a lot to feel about this in the collective too of course, and it’s evidenced by our overuse of natural resources, lack of feeling and compassion towards one another and being competitive instead. Even in our domination of animals. Any sort of ‘Thanksgiving’ holiday is really just another reminder to have a look at all of this and how it’s been configured inside of each of us. What IS your personal relationship to gratitude and how does it live in you?

I feel this question as a meditation for myself… and one that I ongoingly want to feel deeply into as I DO have so much to be grateful for, always. And so much that I have earned through personal process, through ‘crawling through glass’, and also, through following with courage what my own soul and heart have wanted more than anything else. In other words… I think the deepest source of gratitude for anything in our lives HAS to be rooted in feeling grateful, ultimately, for our own journeys and where they have had to go, where they are now, and where they seem to be leading.

Much love to you… and if you’re celebrating this weekend… Happy Thanksgiving! 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Journey To Feeling Genuinely Blessed

By Kalayna Solais

Feeling quite blessed and surrendered this morning…

If you’d known me personally even just a year ago, you’d probably be amazed that I can get to a place of really feeling this deeply… so much restlessness, so much pushing and pressing, and I’ve had to love it all from roots to wings.

The process of learning to land more and more in love, especially within, is no joke at all. It’s nothing that can really be expedited. This over-arching process of Ascension certainly takes the time it takes, doesn’t it? It reminds me yet again that the destination isn’t the goal, it’s the journey itself. And the journey, for me, as been continually dropping into feeling, to get to know my parts and my Metasoul deeper, to have a more fulfilling and enriching relationship with the Divine that can only come from taking conscious steps and making choices that do actually serve your budding self-love and desire to love others more and with more compassion. For that is where the Divine can be the most deeply felt and experienced, as well as invited IN.

So why in this particular moment do I feel blessed and surrendered?

It’s not like I have “all my ducks in a row” right now. It’s not like, in the most typical 3D terms, I have the “perfect life”. It’s not like I don’t also have some rounds of sadness move in and out of my field as my ache to share my space and my heart with others and eventually a mate continues to live inside of me.

But… what I do have, I have in spades. I have growing self-love. I have a community I’ve earned my way to drawing and being a part of. I have more resonance around me than ever before, geographically, in my ‘jobs’, in all of my relationships that I choose to keep close to me. I get to live with so much resonance that parts of me sometimes resist or create problems because they are so used to living with a baseline of “something is always wrong or about to go wrong”. This was a survival instinct, actually, that I don’t need anymore. And that is still very much landing in my heart AND soul!

I’m sharing all of this because it’s a message of what’s possible for you, too. For you and those parts of you who ache and long and sometimes fight to stay afloat in the world you’re living in. For those unbelievably courageous, beautiful parts of you that sometimes feel the opposite because that’s how much they have to shrink in order to fit into a life, a job, a relationship, that doesn’t support their bigness and especially YOUR bigness.

I’m also sharing this because it helps me really land in what I’ve earned, what I’ve done all of this inner work for, and to embrace the overflow of it all that wants so much to share this inner abundance with others. I can’t hoard it away, nor am I meant to. Nor are you meant to, when you feel blessed too… 🙂 So much pain and fear and angst sometimes is the default of what you share, perhaps. And to be in a place in your life but more importantly in your very BEing where this isn’t what is overflowing from you anymore is the invitation, always. No matter how many tough choices you may have to make along the way. The support and validation are waiting in the wings for you to go there and the healing is too.

I’m available for 1:1, 90min sessions for women of all ages if you feel the need for more support for your own next choice points and to start feeling your own parts/Metasoul aspects and their hard work, their pain, their desires too: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

~

Photo taken on beautiful Salt Spring Island… another geography I feel incredibly blessed to have access to! ❤

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Calibrating To NEW Waves Of Love After September’s Growth Processes

by Kalayna Solais

We grow to glow…

Don’t we?

So much inner processing and it all leads somewhere new. Sometimes that new place suddenly dawns on us, reveals itself in moments unexpected. It so pays to have as much resonance around you as you and your parts can let in in order to experience this and feel the magic of the revelation when it’s being reflected by those you love.

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I am in the dawn of a new phase of deeper and brighter self-awareness that’s come from years of feeling quite anchored in frequencies that I knew weren’t me and that I just had to be with as I felt parts of me that weren’t ready to let go of what was hurting them yet. This continues to be a process but it’s finally reaching a place where the clouds are parting more easily and often. I know in my heart this is a good place to be that has been hard-earned now. And also that this new spaciousness inside of me is meant to hold even deeper dives into soul patterns and pain but also hold space for others as they come to me for support on their healing and Ascension journeys.

The gathering we held last week was a gift in so many ways that are still landing in me. It’s felt surreal to be serving love and giving energy healing to souls that really wanted to be immersed with us here! I could feel the payoff of where I’ve gone inside, especially in the challenges of the last few months. This ended up bringing me some physical symptoms to move through too, as my chakras recalibrate to what’s real NOW.

I sat at one of my favourite spots last night to take this photo. I wanted to visit with the animals that live nearby and take in the sunset codes too. I was feeling how amazing of a day I just had with collaborating with Jelelle on the stunning women’s call we held together yesterday while also feeling some sadness in my field… Some of it mine, some of it not. There’s still so much I’m learning to let in of the real goodness and LOVE streaming in right now while also feeling parts that are afraid.

That’s the ongoing process for everyone on some level… The calibration and re-calibration to REAL love and what it invites and asks.

Happy last day of September, everyone! What a MONTH! ❤️

~

You can purchase the recording of the call with Jelelle and me yesterday on our website: soulfullheartwayoflife.com 🦋

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Honouring And Loving Your Personal Journey

By Kalayna Solais

Holding your own beauty

your own worth

your own sexiness

your own aliveness…

…means no one can take it away from you.

Not that they ever could without parts of you letting them, and in some cases, asking for them to.

Not that anyone ever could… unless they themselves felt less about themselves too.

To hold yourself with humility

sensing where you have left to grow

is the most beautiful thing imaginable

and the highest place you can then look inward from.

No one can take you away from you

unless you lean into their void

instead of the you that’s filling UP…

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

The Equinox New Life Phase Flow

By Kalayna Solais

Whether you’re experiencing Fall Equinox or Spring Equinox, depending on where you are in the world, these transitional seasons bring powerful energies of inner transitions and also shed new light on your next pieces to address inside.

It can feel like you’re tumbling down a hill as you enter your next phase… like life is moving faster than you are. Your parts can be having reactions to this, understandably, as even in this next phase you could be feeling the crazy-making journey of letting go of something that has already been SO good, in search of MORE goodness. Trying to trust that you’re headed only into more love and not less, even though the letting go can feel like you’re giving up love.

But we cannot hold onto what needs to flow and move. Though parts of us may try, they cannot grasp onto love or a source of love (e.g. a relationship, food, sex, other ‘addictions’ or dependencies), control it, and manipulate to keep it forever even when it’s time to let it go, let it move on, and be with the pain of doing that while also letting in ALL of the Divine support you ALWAYS have to be with this process and move with life, not try to fight against it.

I get the picture of all of us sitting on the banks of a steadily moving river at this time. Our Inner Protectors and other parts of us know very well the momentum of changes and so on that this river represents. It feels like this current is super-activated right now during this Equinox, asking us to take the risk to step into it, to be with the unknowns that arise, and yet find our trust that we will, always, be led to a place where more love, more abundance, more self-love and appreciation is as possible to let in as we are ready for it to be.

Much love to you as you feel for yourself what it means to be exiting one beloved (or challenging) phase and entering another. ❤

~

Art by Wang Fine Art

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Mother Aphrodite Message Of The Catalytic Healing Power Of Falling IN Love

by Kalayna Solais

“Falling in love IS serving love.

It’s inhabiting its textures, its fragrance, letting it rumble through the chakras, feeling it raise questions about your next life steps, such as they are.

Falling in love can happen in any moment.

On the inside with parts of you. On the outside with a beloved soulmate or a friend or even with a complete stranger just because you feel their uniqueness in your bones.

Falling in love happens with nature, with the energy of the planet on which you live, with the forces of life and abundance and eternal movement with the galaxy surrounding you and the multi-verse you reside in at a larger scale.

All of this serves LIFE to happen in enriching ways that open up to MORE love… and that… that is serving love in a grand form that brings it inward, moves it in a flow that floods the heart of you and reaches toward the heart of others. It brings love to this planet, lets it download through the conduit that IS your soul and why you are here at this time.

And, with that, love cannot help but impact the world you live in in GOOD ways and boost the ongoing Ascension process of all that lives within you and everyone ‘outside’ of you.”

~ Mother (Goddess) Aphrodite

 

This message came to me yesterday as I connected with Mother Aphrodite (as I am feeling to call Her) in meditation yesterday. She is yet another face of the Divine Mother that we can connect with whenever we desire to. In fact, She does love to respond to our heart’s desires, as that is part of Her purpose and the archetype she IS.

I have been connecting with Her through and with a new Metasoul sister connection that I’ve made recently, who was a courtesan at the Temple of Aphrodite, offering her body in service to men who desired transcendence and also a connection with the Divine Feminine that they could not access themselves. Connecting with this ‘sister’, named Lysandra, has bridged me to this powerful and tender energy of Aphrodite, who feels very catalytic and who also seems to encourage us to go INTO love, not shy away from it, even if that means that the intimacy brings us to some messy places where we are in a soup of triggers and reactions or even ecstasy. I feel Mother Aphrodite in a more ascended form than She has been depicted in ‘Ancient Greek’ texts and so on. She even appeared quite blond to me instead of the usual red or strawberry blond hair colour that you most often see.

This message came as encouragement to continue to fall in love… whatever that means in any moment. It was an invitation to keep the heart open, to stay in curiosity, to hold patience for others as you bridge them to love too, and to trust that if you do feel genuine love flow between you and another being, human or otherwise, there is something more to surrender to in that experience… especially whatever this connection seems to be bringing up inside of you to be held and felt. I would not have access to this energy of Mother Aphrodite or this new Metasoul sister connection had I not been in a process of opening up my heart wider to others and feeling the kickback and defences of parts of me in doing so.

Mother Aphrodite is a bridge to both the glory and the gory when it comes to the passage and flow of love. She is a Divine poultice who it feels like can hold both the balm that love can offer and the catalytic craziness in moments that love can offer too as it stirs up so much inside of us, so much that we couldn’t have felt or healed without it being brought to the surface. Of course, there is also much She offers us in sexuality and sexual healing, honouring the pleasures of the body yet holding boundaries as necessary too to truly honour where you ARE right now and what feels good to explore and what doesn’t. This is something that has often been distorted about the energy She brings with Her and it feels like She would love to see this shift in the collective consciousness!

Much love to you and with you as you feel your own journey and recognition of the catalytic nature of love, especially ‘falling in love’, and the deep healing it can and wants to offer! ❤

~

Art by Emily Balivet

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Reflections From Our Interconnections: A Poem

by Kalayna Solais

Digging IN
my heart remembers
what it only can with you.
And what’s always true
is the plan of living
and the exquisite pain
of letting in
while also letting go.

Ecstatically
the heart opens and closes again
echoing thoughts and words within
the pulse of beating hearts
and timelines crossing timelines.

Instinctually
the forbidden mind
starts to mine
the experience of the heart
and integration of lined-up soul pieces
that flow and flee and double-back
into the next full circle
of healing miracles
within.

Reflections, ALL
move inside the current being
now seeing
what couldn’t be seen without them
moving into the heart space and out again
leaving me with more gain
than loss.

No matter the next
and next
and next
reflections and reactions and reactivations
the following places
pace in a dance
that races then recedes
in a way wild
uncontrolled
and absolutely
ALIVE.

~

Art by Rassouli

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Energy Update: Full ‘Harvest’ Moon Supports Recovery/Moving On Process

by Kalayna Solais

Energy update: DEEP tears last night before going to bed… Felt so fully held in the arms of the Divine, especially Divine Mother, bringing more waves of them to feel and help clear the cluttered heart. Tears of purging and detoxing, rebirth and renewal, they were. Body shaking, quaking, sobbing. This is the state I so willingly went to as I returned last night to my tenderness, femininity, woman’s heart after an intense journey interfacing with this new life phase that seems to be opening up wider this week… and had my masculine activated in a more defensive or protective way than a way that lets my femininity BE and be vulnerable and breathe more too.

Today’s Full Moon is bringing something to full illumination inside. Sometimes these moons bring these tides of tears that aren’t always about pain but simply about rising again for yourself, to yourself. Sometimes parts of us get so backed up in our busyness throughout our work weeks, explorations of connections with others (especially any new connections where parts will likely feel especially self-conscious and reactive), that once the more feminine space within can be accessed, they can burst open again like a broken water pipe, sharing everything they’ve been feeling this whole time, and the Divine is there holding the bucket that catches it all.

Friday the 13th energies feel like a wrap-up and renewal opportunity that also comes with the Full Moon energies bringing pieces to full circle. It’s definitely a time of rebooting. Of completing one phase and beginning another, even just internally. It could be a time for you of ‘harvest’ as this is the Harvest Moon, which brings in energies of encouragement and support to feel who you truly ARE right now after the journey you’ve been on so far.

In all of this deep feeling release that’s possible right now, there is an opportunity to continue to move on, to move UP in frequency and upgrade your desires for more love in all areas of your life too, especially within, because without that harvest, that cultivation of deepening inner love, the deepest and most healing movements cannot be what they most need to be.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be co-hosting a very powerful group transmission over Zoom tomorrow. I highly recommend checking it out, especially as a way to explore deeper what could be moving for you now. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.