cult groups – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

cult

Every last one of us has been deeply enculturated.

We’re left with taking responsibility for the cults we find ourselves in.

The first cult we were subjected to, by our own choice no less, was the cult of ‘the individuated out from divine source’. This cult left us with a kind of bi-polar disorder of on one hand fearing being returned to source against our will and having our individuality taken from us, and on the other hand, fearing not being able to ever find our way back to oneness source, left in a hell of separation and individuation forever.

Talk about having all the bells and whistles of having been in what feels like a harmful cult! Our hangups, anger, hatred and dysfunctions suddenly make a lot of sense. Could anything be more painful than losing your awareness of your true identity, leaving you and I out begging life for any kind of substitute scraps of survival forms of love that can be had?

Eventually, as we come to take responsibility for this first cult and the many other cults that we’ve wandered into and find ourselves in, we come to discover that while it most deeply feels like we are separate and separated, we never were. We come to see that we are in fact as close as we ever can and will be, and all that is awakening is only a realization of what IS, and not any kind of attainment of anything that isn’t already.

We are left with the task of attaining what already is.

We need all the dramas of life and relationship as the story and culture setting to get us to the moral of the story which is LOVE, not as an injunction to dutifully ‘be more loving’, but as a dawning awareness of the essence of what you and I already are and always were, leading to just simply and truly being the love that we are. The only injunction we’re really left with is ‘just be yourself’.

The deeper awareness in all of this that WE CHOSE this as the soul beings we are, calls us to feel all there is to feel in reaction to our present awakening. Only now can we begin to feel these roots of all of our dysfunctions and querks both related to being human, as well as related to being birthed into being a soul. Only now can we begin to feel and take responsibility for our true awesome power.

It’s like we’ve travelled to a far country, with strange language, weird food, and customs. We don’t know how to be here and we don’t know where to find what we desire as familiar love. When we do find something that feels familiar, that feels like family, we often find that the comfort it once gave no longer does. Our deep inborn hunger for love calls us on to seek new forms and experiences of the love that we are. We find ourselves again invited into new forms of cult and culture, given our bents for attachment and our needs for love. Now, we can take conscious responsibility for what we choose and for what we most deeply want; a new culture of love.

We didn’t come here for any kind of instant fix. You were never broken in fact. If anything, you were fixed in love and wanted to unfix yourself being the explorer of the infinite love that you are. You and I came here having it all and we couldn’t help ourselves but to want more. We came here for a process. We came here for relationships. We came here to feel and heal all there is to feel.

Raphael Awen
www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

If you are up for MORE and ready for some new feeling of all there is to feel, and some healthy enculturation, please join us this Saturday for our next SoulFullHeart group call:https://www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

By Jelelle Awen

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Yesterday, while Raphael and I were out sitting at a cafe, I thought I saw a woman from my past. In the immediate sense that this MIGHT be her, I felt a knot of anxiety and tension in my third chakra or solar plexus area flare up. After confirming with Raphael that it wasn’t this woman, who I will call “Jane”, I felt the tension move out my field replaced by a sense of calm and love.

In digesting my response to seeing who I thought was Jane, I gave my solar plexus some loving energy as I felt into what the reaction had been. Jane was once a very close friend of mine, true soul family and sister. Almost ten years ago, we were both part of a spiritual and emotional healing group for close to five years together. The same group for which Raphael and I met and eventually left together. I left the group in a highly intense way, after receiving a choice from Daniel – the leader of the group and a man who was like my surrogate father – to either break up with Raphael for a year or leave the group as we were deemed too codependent to be together in a healthy way. This choice was given to me after only three weeks of dating and years of me being in the group within the inner circle and serving as a facilitator of the work for a few years too.

It was a very difficult decision on one end yet, also, my soul was guiding me that it was time to leave this setting which had brought so much love and healing to my life but for which much of it I had outgrown. I heard a strong “No more” in my head which I feel now was my higher self and my guides. I said ‘no’ to the frequencies of control, power OVER those in the group, the gossiping and competition amongst those in the facilitator circle. I said ‘yes’ to my own sovereignty and my choice to explore relationship with Raphael, a man who felt like the deepest mate of heart, soul, and body that I had been desiring for many years. When I left the group, none of the people who I felt to be soul family would or could talk with me any longer.

Jane and I were living together at the time of this dissolution with the group and it was very awkward. We tried to have a friendship ‘outside’ of the group, but she was still very much involved and wouldn’t listen to my growing clarities about the shadow frequencies within it. The separation with her and her disapproval of me was so challenging for me to digest when we had experienced so much love together. Eventually, we went our separate ways, with love, and with her choice to continue in the group. We haven’t spoken in over nine years even as the group fell apart two years ago with Daniel finally being called out for his behaviors by all those in the group.

I am sharing this story, I believe, because it was interesting to feel how even though consciously I have reconciled this experience, my emotional and energy body still held trauma from it. I connected with this energy in my solar plexus last night (and the nasal congestion that came up too) and also cut any karmic bind cords with Jane and yet sent her love too in case it was the Universe telling me that she was thinking of me. In my experience serving others, this is how our emotional and energy bodies work…they store undigested pain in this way, as pockets that release when they are triggered to release (what Carl Jung called ‘being constellated’). We can trigger them to release through consciously connecting with the part of us that holds this energy as we offer and hold space for in SouLFullHeart.

Ultimately, I feel gratitude for my experience in this group and my experience with Jane especially as I trust that our souls signed up for it and it brought me so many gifts of realization around heart-based leadership that invites others into and respects their sovereignty, which is the place I come from related to SoulFullHeart. This group also introduced me to the emotional body, parts work, and the importance of healing at this deep emotional level. Because of the dark night I experienced in leaving the group and ‘losing’ all of my soul family connections that I had at the time, I appreciate the connections that I have with others now in a much deeper way. And, my bond with Raphael was instantly solidified and strengthened by our moving through the trauma of leaving together and we really had no ‘choice’ but to be completely vulnerable with other. This experience also helped me work and heal karmic patterns around rejection, being dominated, dominating others (I connected with my inner Daniel part at some point), shadow side of spirituality, authority, etc.

If you find yourself in or are digesting having been in a relationship with some of these frequencies (and this can happen in romantic and family relationships too, usually what is called the empath and narcissist relationship), it takes time to heal and recover from them for sure and much inner strength and soul resolve to complete them. In fact, ‘time’ doesn’t really exist to these places of trauma as it is stored in the emotional body which doesn’t relate to time. The feeling and connecting with these places through negotiation with the protector part that is protecting them can lead to much movement, growth, and healing with lots of self love and care. Held in a container of love, the lessons are integrated and the tensions are moved with much transformation and deeper embodiment of the higher self.

We can offer support to those of you going through this kind of situation in personal relationship or in recovery from a group through SoulFullHeart space holding sessions. More about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.