Authentic loneliness is more powerful than settling for false company.
Having a solid relationship with ourselves begins by being okay with being alone for necessary phases of time. It doesn’t have to feel okay to every part of us though…some parts are used to reaching out to others outside ourselves for comfort, reassurance, validation, security. On the other side of the coin, some parts would rather be alone, feeling the strain of a social life that they can’t truly land in and be a part of authentically, and where they and other parts often get buried because what they feel isn’t deemed “okay”. This is what makes us all unique mosaics of emotions and reactions. It is what brings us into processes where we get to feel and sort through it all if we choose to, helping us move on to the next phase of our lives, perhaps without as much reaction and with a full-hearted strength that we could never have thought possible.
Our loneliness feels like a huge gift to me, if we can truly feel it and be with it…in being with it, we get to feel our uniqueness, our need and desire for more solidity inside ourselves, and our needs and desires for what we truly want in relationship with others (not just what we’ve been okay with up ’til now).
Loneliness, like any other emotion that carries the label of being “negative” and something that should be avoided at all costs, seems to actually have the power to change our lives for the better and bring us into landscapes of deep healing and growth if we can just let it in and fully feel it…
Leena Colibri is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.