The Devouring Mother And The Healing Of The Wounded Masculine

Over the past couple of days I have been digging deep into my fear of intimacy. This was brought up by a recent situation with my beloveds where I was not forthcoming with details that I choose to keep private for now. The theme was about not trusting those that care deeply about me and are close to me. A projection of rejection and maybe even judgement on top of a rebellious undercurrent to feel myself as independent and sovereign.

As deep hurt was expressed by my push away and hiding, I could feel the walls harden around my heart. Feeling a need to not go into what used to be shame spirals. I could not feel myself as separate from it. I was The Wall. Even a voicing of a need to possibly not being a part of community in order to feel my sovereignty. A deep rebellion wanting to have its way.

The rest of the day I needed to feel my push away. This need for my masculine to seek independence from the feminine, albeit invulnerably. This voice needed to have its say. Its resistance. But as I felt more through the night, I knew this was not fully me. Not the totality of my being. As a facilitator, I knew that there is so much more to this, but I had stumbled on something quite powerful and inevitably archetypal.

Later, I heard the term “Devouring Mother” as an feminine archetype. It exploded a whole “new” awareness inside of me. I had recently just drew a further boundary with my biological mother right after a profound session about her very influence on me. As I released that dynamic even further it allowed this archetypal energy to flood my psyche subconsciously. I began to feel more distant and less open to intimate gatherings and connection. The sleeping giant of my repressed masculine was waking, as well as his relationship to the feminine via ‘Mother’.

When being given a choice to go against that communal feminine intimacy I fused to this wounded masculine need to rebel and push away. This is when I could feel the projection of the ‘Devouring Mother’ onto my beloveds. How can Sovereignty live side by side with Intimacy? This is what I wrote about earlier in a recent post about the inherent insanity of a man’s need to individuate from Mom while at the same time returning the bosom of The Mother at the same time. It is fucking maddening!

What I could feel was how my Inner Protector created a wall around this ‘Independence’ from Mom. Fuck all that would try and ‘take’ that from him after just feeling like he gained it. I put all those words in quotes because it is all a dynamic happening within and being projected out. I, Gabriel, could only fuse to the reaction to the projection. I got lost in what Jung called a Constellation. A watershed of unconscious and subconscious reaction.

In this greater understanding of this conflict between Mom and uninitiated son, I could feel how it is all being played out on the inside. The ‘Devouring Mother’ IS my Inner Mother. An inherited version of her inside of me. By taking her out of the Realm of Archetype and placing her as a part of me, I can begin to have a relationship to her that isn’t so freakin’ massive. I get to feel her needs and her fears of intimacy and of losing me as a validation of her own reason to Be. She is another version of the wounded feminine within the masculine that has great importance for us all as men on this spiritual quest and desire for empowerment, joy, liberation, and union.

For me it is a HUGE revelation and one that is just a starting point on this journey of selves-discovery that leads to Self-realization. We cannot ignore the depths to which our mothers play in our male psyche and emotional body. This internalized aspect of her leads us to a more authentic version of our masculinity, our relationship to intimacy with Other, and the Divine Mother Herself.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Love Has Places To Go In You That It Can’t Find Anywhere Else

By Raphael Awen

We couldn’t actually know love were it not for what feels like ‘not love’. We couldn’t know break through were it not for resistance. We couldn’t know joy were it not for sorrow.

Both polarities are needed and both are sacred. The Divine itself is living out these discoveries through us. Love has places to go in you, that it can’t find anywhere else.

The name of the game however is to not suffer over what we could relate to as our necessary suffering in this polarity dynamic we find ourselves in. How could we truly give love to all parts of ourselves who are struggling to find their way through the polarity?

Someone who seems naturally buoyant and happy all the time can be about that they ARE actually in a healthy flow state, OR it could be about parts of them using buoyancy like a drug used to not feel other aspects of their inner polarity that is pressing in on them, wanting to be felt. It’s pretty easy to tell genuine joy over this kind of ‘medicative’ happiness.

Another thing that surprises me is that I’ve discovered that genuine spiritual attainments are not necessarily one and the same with genuine joy in love and life. All too often, some genuine spiritual attainment or expanded state of consciousness can be detrimental to a person’s true fulfillment in relationships. So many spiritual seeker type people who’ve been around the block with spiritual teachers can attest to this dynamic in spiritual teachers. Does this mean they are fakes, or does it simply mean they have a lopsided awakening that’s awaiting some further awakening? My sense for all of us is that it’s the latter. We’re all in a never ending evolution.

If that’s true, then there really is a level playing field where our shared common denominator is this reverence for, and humility before, love’s ongoing unfolding – in polarity. We’re all in this together, yet as individuals. One person being ‘ahead’ is only a storehouse placeholder that belongs to all. Your adoration of someone who embodies a true spiritual attainment is actually being afforded a recognition of your future self. You get to download that attainment as you’re ready too, as your system can handle it.

Life – it’s in you to live!

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sessions

I offer a free intro call for 45 minutes or so to discuss what working in ongoing sessions space with me could look and feel like for you and for where you’re at. There’s more info at the link above. If this interests you, I’d love to hear from you.

Recent Photo above by me! (I so love the fall season of death and rebirth AND I also find that I especially need to feel the parts of me in reaction to the intensity of the death and rebirth season, hence the grounding in nature)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

11/11: What Do You Declare As You Enter Into The New?

Happy 11/11 Day!

This feels like a very significant portal day on so many levels. I guess I feel each one is significant depending on what we choose to put into it. Our intention sets the stage. Sets the wheels in motion on the other side.

One thing is for sure, what has not served us before will certainly not serve us going forward. So this is a day to decide what must be left on this side of border. When you enter another country, you have to declare what you are bringing with you. What have you packed with you that you are claiming as you enter?

What you bring emotionally/energetically into the New, can easily become the Old again as it attracts that dynamic, whether it is fear, scarcity, unworth, despair, or anxiety. You can intend on leaving it behind with daily prayer and mantra. That helps to keep mindful of what you DO want and what you DON’T.

But there is also a part of you that holds that energy and needs more than mindfulness. It needs heart presence. It wants to feel connection and companionship. It needs to feel a relationship more than just awareness. So what you can leave at the border is the looping and declare your healing. Once and for all.

This is a Reclamation Day. A Phoenix Rising Day. A Remembrance Of What And Who You Really Are Day. It is the deeper claim of healing, of journey, and intention. As with all growth, there are times when you must let go of all that has weighed you down and prevented your arrival at the Gates of Glory. Today you have only a small backpack or briefcase.

What will you take with you?

What do you intend on leaving behind?

What do you declare as you cross this threshold into a higher timeline?

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

11/11 Gateway: Intention, Intimacy, Indivuation, & Intuition

When I closed my eyes this morning, my intention was to feel this upcoming 11/11 gateway. I found myself walking on a path that approaching 4 massive Sequoia trees, 2 lined up on either side of the path. A gateway if I ever saw one. As I got closer to them I could see a word mounted on each one. Each of them started with the letter ‘I’ which I took to represent the number one…of course.

The first word was ‘Intention’. This made sense. What is my intention as I enter this gateway? For as we enter any gateway, the universe responds to what we intend. It wants to know me, you, and all of us more intimately. Our intentions pave the way going ‘forward’ if you will and helps us define an end place, even if we don’t end up there.

My intention entering this gateway is to continue to let go of all the ways in which I have kept myself from feeling and expressing my authenticity.
Who am I in my naked essence?
What leadership is still latent and ready to come onto the scene?
How far down the rabbit hole of my BEing can I shed light on and bring that light into my waking, physical reality?

The second word was ‘intimacy’. I understood that in my heart as “Into me see”. It is about being transparent with what is current in my Being. It is about getting naked with myself and others. Becoming more fluent with my emotional body, my needs, my wants, my fears, and my power. Intimacy is a scary place for our hidden and protected parts. The places that have been comfortable in the safety of anonymity. It is a dance with Trust that brings this nakedness out into the light. I feel one of the biggest fears we all have is that of being seen, even as parts so desperately want to be. Enter the Inner Protector.

The third word was ‘individuation’. This may be more personal to me, yet I do feel how this is something all of us are working on as we make our way through this dimension. In the quest for authenticity and intimacy, we are confronted with the ways in which we have conformed or molded ourselves to be in relation to a particular frequency or relational bind, whether it be social or familial. This search for Self is the search for individuation from what doesn’t feel like us in our essence. It is also a search for tribe that aligns but not remold our uniqueness. This is felt with all the parts of us (Inner Child/Teenager, Protector) that have their own reaction to this unachoring.

The last word was ‘intuition’. This continues to be one that I am leaning into. This inner knowing that feels like connecting more to the feminine within us all. This intuition sees what is not seeable. It knows what is unknowable. It is like following a leaf in a windstorm…you may have no idea where it is leading you until you eventually arrive. It is the essence of intuition to Trust. To go forth against the inertia of common sense while still remaining sensical. My intuition may take me places my Protector/Gatekeeper may have questions about and that is where I get to learn about who I really am and this brave new world I am ready for.

This feels like a powerful gateway into our next Next. Our new New. All of this is navigable with self-love as we feel all the parts of us in agreement, in resistance, in confusion, and in fear. With this inner connection to all parts of our being we are given the keys to the rocket ship that is made to take us Home.

****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Playing The Game of Hide and Seek

By Raphael Awen

In your seeking and awakening journey, a surprising finding occurs that ripples through your entire being.

You come to realize that not only are you the one with the desire to expand, to grow, to discover, to awaken, but that you are also the one responsible for your hiding and sleeping.

I believe that as a soul journeying through the illusion of time, you hid (past tense) your essence, so that you could rediscover (present tense) this essence and go on to become (future tense) something that you already were and never actually lost.

You can see this dynamic looking at your life journey so far, you can see it when looking at what you know as your soul journey. You can see it when you look at how you are journeying through a single day, or a single moment.

It’s like I’m in the boat, tossed to and fro on the stormy seas, only to realize that this grand tempest is inside of a teapot with none but my own hand on the handle.

But what then would be the purpose of all the dharma, the drama, and the trauma along the way? This is the bigger quest and question we are left with on the other side of this pivotal discovery, that I fear we best not be too quick to satisfy the quest of which with short pat answers lest we fall back asleep.

My deepest suspicion so far in an attempt to respond to this quest is that it has something to do with beginning to feel the edges of an awe and wonder that arises as I cycle in this phasing in and out of this ongoing forgetting and remembering.

Could it be that this is the process whereby infinite love is coming to know itself, through me and my up till now perceived ‘insignificant’ life?

And just how would this infinite love want to come to know itself through such an arrangement?

I believe that infinite love comes to know itself (satisfy its quest) in any moment that you as a conscious being reach out in love to another conscious being. We could call this making love in the truest sense of the phrase, as in how ‘Adam knew Eve’ in the biblical sense. This is love having a ‘from’ and a ‘to’ transaction that it couldn’t have were it not for a forgetting and a remembering. Both are equally necessary and both are equally sacred, and what they make for is something we call process. Love forgot (gave up something) in order to remember (bring back into membership). Love stepped out of itself in order to step back into itself.

And what ‘other’ conscious being would be the best one to reach out to? Your children, your friend, your mate, your siblings, or humanity in general possibly? These are ‘others’ right?

But wait, you’ve skipped over you. You are full of others awaiting your lovemaking. Your Inner Protector has been largely living your life as you in this absence of your now presenting higher self on the scene. You Inner Child who so wants to come back out to re-in-form your world with play awaits your outreach. Your Inner Teenager who wreaks havoc in your world from time to time only wants your attention in exchange for an energy source you’ve truly been missing.

Skipping over these others from within to reach out to the others without would have been deemed selfless up till now. Now, however, we are all seeing the falseness of attempting to give love to an other that we haven’t first given to ourselves – the many selves that live in our psyche and soul consciousness.

You get to make love with yourself. Truly, magically, profoundly. It’s about coming to terms in ongoing process and negotiation with a limitless world. You didn’t come here to awaken in a single moment. You came here to feel process, to feel each moment of the journey.

You have everything you need and the only valid teacher now is the one who helps you realize you need nothing. The phase of our codependence on teachers and belief systems, was necessary, but is now coming to a close for many souls who are at this stage in their process of coming to terms with being infinite love.

The love wants to flow and dance. Let it begin with you.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/sessions

I’d love to help you find your inner guidance if who I am and what I offer calls to you. The link above will take you to more in-form-ation. 🙂

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@elijahdhiett

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Journey Of The Ascending Masculine: Sometimes You Have To Be The ‘Bad Guy’ In Order To Be The ‘Real Guy’

A man’s emotional maturation and spiritual journey inevitably comes to a crossroad with his relationship to his mother.

I write about this today because I was recently contacted by my own mother and could feel the old energies of guilt and shame that underlied the old dynamic between us and within her. These were very subtle and yet not so subtle energies.

On the outside, or from another consciousness, one would view me as an awful son for drawing my boundaries I did years ago and choosing not to communicate unless we were in a similar transactional frequency. This recent message was a clear indicator that nothing much has changed.

The timing was auspicious as well as I had just had a process not just a few days ago where I felt more residual energies in my emotional and psychic bodies in regards to my mother and how her wounding affected me as a young boy and have lived in me through my inner child and inner teenager.

These frequencies of guilt and shame are huge energetic anchors that serve no one’s growth yet are portals into that very thing. The process was to say no more to those frequencies and to feel the part of me that needed to be a bit matter of fact about how it all made him feel growing up.

This is a big part of any man’s journey. Saying no more to what has lived between us and our mothers that has not been healthy. These can be really subtle the more you keep going in, especially when you are in an intimate, romantic relationship with a woman. There is stuff that has a very long shelf life unless we keep up the conscious exploration within.

The dichotomy of a man’s journey is that he needs to seek individuation from mom while entering The Mother at the same time. Moving from one womb to another. This can be a bit of a maddening process and one that I want women to have a perspective on to understand what this is like for the men in their lives. Not and excuse, mind you, just an understanding.

Sometimes this individuation process can come while in proximal relationship to our mothers, and other times it is just not possible. Some of the triggered responses can be how we could do such a thing to someone who did all they could for us and gave birth to us. Therein lies the trap. The guilt and shame.

I am grateful for all my mother did for me, and even in this process, continues to do so. However, birthing does not give permission to retain a free pass into my emotional body. It prevents any of us from arising into the man we ARE and having the kinds of sacred unions with women that no longer perpetuate this dynamic.

Sometimes you have to be the ‘bad guy’ in order to be the ‘real guy’.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Authentic Masculinity & The Return To King

Authenticity and masculinity.

These are two roads that are intersecting for me recently. They are actually running parallel seeking to become one. As my inner work continues with my own personal sessions, I am finding this nexus of authentic, masculine leadership to be my next going on place. It reverberates with a lot of questions and curiosities.

Who is this authentic masculine within?
When has it showed up and when has it not?

These are self-loving questions and not a judgement as to when it hasn’t.

As a man that has realized his own inner feminine leanings, this is sacred ground. I have been feeling my inner feminine, Geneveive, becoming more comfortable in my heart as an integral part of who I am as a man. With this relaxing, the suppressed masculine within is coming to the surface to find His authentic place on the throne next to her.

As with any suppressed masculine, it comes with an edgy, maybe even defensive, energy, as it has not really had much practice being out in the world. As that energy comes into me I feel this a part of me. His name is Sarge (for Sergeant). As repressed masculine, he came to me as an inner punisher. Yelling and judging to be heard. That was a deep process of feeling him and his vulnerabilities and needs.

What I felt recently in my session with Jelelle, was how this authentic masculine energy had been neutralized in protection against my father’s rage and the perception of my mother’s fragility. A dynamic that stunted this initiation into the world. In some ways, at the age of 48, I feel like this is the beginning of this initiation. I had to be with some reaction to that only to feel how this is the way it has just played itself out.

In this initiation, I am dropping this old relationship to Woman (via Mom) and Man (via Dad) to feel what my authentic masculine leadership needs/wants as well as its effect on my feminine and younger parts. It is a process of moving from Knight to King on the chessboard of growth. I feel the kings of my Metasoul eager to guide me and activate me on this journey.

In the past this felt like a scared place, but now it feels sacred. It feels natural and ripe. With is comes uncertainty and unpredictability, but that feels alive to this arising masculine. It is the wounded masculine that seeks order and the known. The true King has the Order within and brings that energy to all that is around Him. I feel Divine Father in this moment than I ever have.

It is this Return to King that I want to make transparent to all the men that feel this in their hearts and souls. It is from this place that I seek to serve and lead. Amen.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Connecting With The You Who Can Feel You Reacting

By Raphael Awen

There’s you having a reaction with no one home to feel you having the reaction. You’ve simply become the reaction without awareness or consciousness of the reaction.

Then there’s you observing the you that’s having a reaction. Conscious awareness is being brought to the reaction. An aware you is showing up to take responsibility. That’s a big step ahead in growth for sure, but it’s also fraught with other reactions of a judgment and shame nature; an Inner Punisher showing up on the scene.

THEN, there’s a you who can feel and bring love and awareness to ALL of these states and phases of your consciousness evolution.

This higher self version of you can feel that you came here to have all of these stages, that you as well as your higher self needed this experience of both forgettance and remembrance. We chose a process of forgoing awareness as well as the entire process of returning to, and reigning in, full awareness.

Your reactions, along with your reactions to your reactivity, all the way to loving each and every one of them and especially the part of you having the experience is what you and I came here for.

Because we are both one and individual at the same time, whatever you figure out for yourself in awakening and remembering process is instantly downloaded into the one mind that we all share and made available more and more to those who are ready for and needing the download codes of what it is we are all growing into. This is where all purpose is sourced in. You get to play with whatever passion purpose expression you want to that is unique to you and part of the great remembering that we all share.

What are the big reactions that are moving through your life now?

Can you bring your awareness to them and feel any judgment reactions to the reactions?

Can you then show up with a curious and open heart to feel it all?

Would you be willing to get to intimately know and feel the parts of you that have lived your life as you up till now?

This is the new awakening in spirituality today. It’s no longer about becoming ‘higher frequency’ without getting to know the part of you pushing for the higher frequency attainment. It’s no longer about attainment, but is more about reverence for the entire process; the fusion stage of simply being your reactions; the stage of dawning awareness of your reactions; the stage of cascading reactions to your awareness of your reactions; and then all the way to revering it all as your sacred path and choice – and in that reverence, setting out to become intimate with it all.

I’m in it. You’re in it. We’re all in it.

If I can help you go into your next choice and awareness points, I’d like to invite you to consider a free intro session to the SoulFullHeart process. If you ask for the free intro session, myself or Gabriel Heartman will send you three simple questions to respond to and a short guided meditation to meet your Inner Protector to engage in, and then from there, we’ll set up a time to have the intro together for 30-45 minutes over Zoom. We’ll spend that time together and then from there, you can decide if you’d like to have regular sessions in ongoing process together.

How does that sound?

******

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Finding Real Love When You Come Undone

Our hearts and souls are entangled. Of course they are. We are One. But I can feel deeply, and receive guidance about the nature of our entanglement. We are seeking how to authentically love ourselves as the Divine loves Itself. We have chosen Entanglement to work so many edges and polarities of the human and celestial experience.

First you come to an awareness of entanglement either with a family member, a lover, a mate, a belief system, a conditioning, an addiction, your ego, and the plethora of psychic energies and entities that exist in this multiverse. It is mind blowing the number of entanglements we have chosen to enter into in order to fully understand the nature and embodied experience of Love.

When seen from this place, the part of you that may punish you for getting into these entanglements can start to be felt for what is truly wanting and needing to be felt. It is the fear of becoming Undone. Unseen, Unloved.

Parts of us have become so accustomed to the energy of the entanglement. It actually feels like home to them. It is known and knowable even if it isn’t healthy or if it is limiting. These parts can go on ad infinitum until one day You decide You can’t. Then the unraveling begins.

The unraveling can be a scary place to be. However, it is the most real place and the most alive. In the unraveling you are held. The degree of that truth is really up to you. It does not have to be some traumatic event that takes you into an intense Dark Night experience. It can actually be held as a birth. A process over time.

The Dark Night experience is a fusion to the part/parts of you that feel separation, void, and abandonment. This is very real to them and yet can also be mid-wifed into a new reality by the You that was never entangled in the first place. Feeling that You arises simultaneously from the disentanglement. It is a sacred paradox. Your Phoenix rising.

As you allow yourself to become Undone, with love, compassion, space, and time, a magical alchemy happens from within. You feel the parts of you that have been in hiding, scared, in trauma, as well as the protected parts that are still in joy, in magic, and in love because they were sequestered and guarded by your Inner Proctector. This process of disentanglement does not start without them. Feeling their fears and concerns first and having a relationship with them is what greases those wheels.

I feel myself disentangling from others this life and other lives as well. It is an ongoing process until it isn’t anymore. No judgement, just understanding, remorse, responsibility, and compassion. Loss, grief, and fear eventually transmute into trust, self-love, and clarity. Next stop is flow, joy, and the blissful mystery. Sometimes you need help, other times you just need You.

*****

Photo by Heather Evans Smith
http://www.heatherevanssmith.com/

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.