My ever-healing heart and the energy of Mary Magdalene, want to share this invitation with you today…
You are so beloved…why are you afraid to desire?
You are created for adventures… why have parts of you, soul aspects of you, decided that it’s safer, cleaner, not to claim your needs and wants?
Do you, arising sacred human heart, feel how this is what keeps you from entering the processes you most need and want to, in your soul? Those sacred upheavals of emotion and soul bursts that show you what you need to feel and heal next? These feelings of ‘I will never get what I want’ are actually a shout crowding a gentler whisper that says, ‘I’m afraid I actually might get what I want…’.
Want. Desire. Need. These are loaded words, oft kept in a box, labeled ‘danger!’ and rightly so… this Pandora’s Box is a life changer, the love you eventually can’t ignore though parts of you may try so hard to do so. There is nothing wrong with the delay of feeling what you most want, for you are wired to want MORE anyways. You are in gratitude for what you have, yes, yet this gratitude needs more space for breathing too, for expanding into a bigger heart container that also holds desires for more depth of relationship, a more suitable geography, an impeccable soul and heart romance, soul friendships within conscious community, challenges to just keep going, moving, healing, diving in… Gratitude cannot really be used to suppress your desires, but can instead be used to enrich and enliven them.
Your most sacred terrain of change is in your healing heart. No true and lasting changes can be made on the outside without the inside leading the way. New wants, needs and desires rise up from process, as an aspect of feeling parts and soul fragments of you, as something to keep you heading along your path. They are meant to shift and change as you are, yet this shifting and changing need not be a dulling of your sharpness of wanting, your ability to create and co-create. If anything, it sharpens you further, clarifying with greater depth and breadth what it is you most deeply want NOW and NOW. If you are feeling yourself, if you are in a healing process, you need not worry about your desires being over-indulgent or false or harmful. As your heart heals, so do your motivations in every area of life, until life has no ‘areas’ or ‘segments’ or especially ‘compartments’ but is one life lived in and according to LOVE… where does LOVE want me to flow today? What does it want to illuminate for me in this phase, in this very moment?
The deeper fears of desiring and wanting, live under the resistance to feel them… they are the vulnerability of feeling that nothing in life is guaranteed and yet if your heart truly wants it, the path aligns to make it happen WITH you, not for or to you. The desire is the beacon, the light at the end of the sometimes long, long tunnel. It is the picture, the double-vision you can hold fast to while walking among hot coals of sometimes shadowy process grounds. It is the warm voice beckoning you to keep moving onward by turning inward, seeing for the first time that this voice is yours.
We are full-up of expectations from others that have somehow become our own. We are passed down legacies of withdrawal from life and ultimately from LOVE. We are given only the tools necessary to keep being safe and sound and secure, not loving ourselves through vows of cherishment and self-awe. This means deflecting that which doesn’t match a much duller picture, sacrificing dreams for ‘knowns’. Gratitude comes in the moments we realize that we are exactly where we need to be while on the path of the adventure to what we most deeply want. Gratitude is covered by inherited brambles when we wait alongside the path and don’t choose to step out onto it. Synchronicities send over invitations to keep walking, moving, remembering, letting more love in, yet we will only accept the invite if we are ready to recognize that this messenger is who we’ve been waiting for.
What is it that your heart most desires and needs for you and from you in this moment, on this day? Feel this, bring it inward to your heart with curiosity and love, as a parent to a growing child or a gardener to a blooming rose. Let yourself be taken, fascinated by your wants and needs. Allow in some moments of feeling all there is to feel and see what new places, on this very next step of your burgeoning, ever-ascending life, open up for you next. ❤
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.