Image by Garbriel Heartman
Yesterday I began painting for the first time in a couple of months. Since I was a young boy, visual art in the form of drawing, coloring, and painting has always been a source of pleasure and expression for me. It has also been a source of suffering by way of inner criticism and perfectionism. So much desire to create beauty for the eyes and heart to take in and be moved by. I feel a soul passion when I start to create and a plethora of reaction that offer me doorways into my wounding. So it feels like a romance in a way with a ton of grist and possibility.
When I am in the “zone”, time disappears. I am in flow and it feels like my essence is coming out to play. After being in that space, I could feel a reaction to being “outside” of it. Like that feeling went away and I couldn’t get it back. I lost the mojo and the only way to get it back was to start painting again. I can feel that like a drug reaction. I began to feel how a part of me was relating to the experience and not the “whole” me. The Gabriel that relates to the act of painting as a part of a larger “painting” that is being created by my Higher Self in all moments of each “day”.
We are Creators. We are Artists of exquisite talent and power…regardless of what we consider to be artistic. Right now I am creating. My words are manifesting a vibration of energy that is being sent out into the cosmic canvass. They may land in someone or not. They my have impact or disinterest. But either way I am creating something in this moment. I am feeling myself as I type and that is altering my experience of who I am. I am feeling a different relationship to my world in the moment. Something will reflect back to me my energy and I will get to feel that and be changed again.
There are times when a brush stroke will land away from an intended space and the order of what a part of me was expecting just became disorder. It just got messy and something comes up for me to feel. I can see it as a mistake or as something to learn from and see it is meant to stay a part of the creation. Maybe I am offered a new vision, and new pathway to create something totally different and unexpected. Something I just couldn’t see or feel beforehand. My consciousness just shifted and I grew from it.
In this awareness, I feel I have a choice. A choice to be in my reaction and let it take me where I need to go even if it is messy, or I can hold and feel what part of me is energizing this emotion and see what it is want to message to me. Neither which is wrong. Both are creating and informing. There are no mistakes in art as there are none in growth.
So let that brush go! Let it follow your intuitive heart. Make lines and splashes. Realize that you are the one that is in your full power of choice. If your tapestry feels like it is in disarray, there is a part of you that is creating that to get your attention. It is responding to the chaos within. If you are wanting more, see that more and feel your way through the perceptions that can’t let in that more. To be great creators means we take on great responsibility for what we create. It is time for us to paint a new picture of what we feel is possible and turn it into probable and let it become likely until it is definitely.
Create a bigger and grander picture for yourself that goes beyond what parts of you have been conditioned to believe and expect. This is done through being with and feeling the parts of you that have been capped due to many personal experiences and collective memes. We are powerful individually, but exponentially so collectively. Let us consciously create a new world together full of magic and color!
If you are curious to be a part of a creative healing community that is committed to letting in all that we can infinitely be, please join us on our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST. You can go to http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.