Allowing the Waves of Grief

By Raianna Shai

Grief is a much bigger part of our lives and our emotional bodies than I think we realize. We don’t just grieve passed loved ones or the end of relationships. We grieve old versions of ourselves, nostalgic places, past habits, other lifetimes, the state of the world – really anything that is coming to an end. It’s also one of the most complicated and pushed away emotions we can have as humans.

It’s deep, existential, nonlinear and shows up when we least expect it. Everyone I know who has experienced the deepest versions of grief have described it as coming in waves. It crashes over you and suddenly you feel like you’re drowning. One day you’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time and the next you’re weighed down with an intense heaviness.

I know that grief is not exactly easy to feel but I also know what happens when it’s left unfelt. It harms us in our physically bodies through different aches and illnesses, it causes us to push down any emotion that comes up in fear that it will uncap all of the unfelt grief we’ve left bottled up and it can keep us from connecting to the deeper parts of ourselves that are beyond the grief.

Grief is deep but it does have another side. It is tender, real and honest. It shows us what we really care about and where our deepest fears and desires lie. It shows us so much truth and if truly allowed to come to the surface when it needs to – it can help us love deeper, trust more easily and stay current with every new emotion.

This has been the biggest emotion that I’ve felt this last month and though it’s been painful, it’s also taught me so much about myself and all the varied and important parts of me. It’s shown me that I can feel 50 emotions in one breath, 100 thoughts in each tear that falls from my eyes, a depth so vast it feels like I’ll never feel anything else.

And then I do. I keep moving, keep feeling, keep letting myself dive into this well of despair and come back out feeling even closer to these parts inside of me. Letting go of every hope and dream I’ve had and making way for new ones. In allowing these feelings to surface, I’m telling these parts of me that they are valid, real and loved. And that is where the healing really happens.

Pictured is me feeling real grief during a recent group circle with SoulFullHeart. The community support and love was huge for allowing myself to go to these depths

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Owning The Dark And The Light Within

By  Raphael Awen

Men Of The Soulfire.

We’re being asked to take a formidable journey.

This journey is one that most wouldn’t even come near considering.

This journey is to go within and uncover every part or aspect of us that is suppressed or hidden in some way, having been forced to take up residence in the back alleys and dark side streets of our consciousness.

It’s much more appealing to take a journey of some kind that is external to us and that will give awards for the service and care of others.

These aspects of our soul and suppressed parts of the self are not difficult to find. They are becoming more and more outed and visible every day. The difficult part is finding the courage to own that THIS IS YOU.

Giving a homeless person some spare change feels good and acknowledges that ‘were it not for the grace of God, there go I’, but what we’re being invited to feel is something quite different from that.

This homeless person before you is you.

The homeless consciousness that bulges in our cities also lives within each of us. It is the entire declaration of literally one half of our being to be evil, wrong or unwanted in some way.

You don’t go on for too long before that disowned reality takes the life of the host.

Which brings us back to the majority who are not yet capable of taking this inward journey of reclamation, reconciliation, and restoration.

When you are unwilling to bridge your light and your darkness, you go against the grain of your soul. The soul is here to awaken to the duality of light and dark that it finds itself in. When that purpose is thwarted or postponed in this dimension, the soul wants to go back to the light to regroup, and the soul by necessity must take the body with it, as they are the same thing in different expressions.

We see this on maybe the grandest scale yet with the very understandable denial of those that signed up to be a part of the experimental medical trials of the past two years. I feel that this is all a very telling manifestation of the disowned parts of us, collectively and personally that wanted to leave the planet and the human experience sooner than later.

The awakening masses want to out the blame onto the dark evil drug companies who are controlled by dark evil agendas and elites bent on unspeakable evil, again understandably so…

But a deeper understanding is that all of both light and dark, what we went on to be sure and label as good and evil, ALL was birthed out of oneness source.

Love picks up the tab for it all.

Now we see not only WHY but WHO is asking us to take this journey within. It is your soul as divine expression that wants to know itself and be reconciled to itself in the deepest dualities that it created.

The darkness is you, and therein you will find your deepest reconciliation to life and love itself.

There is no other real path for relief. There is no other awakening from the nightmare. The glorious light that you are can only be found and known as you equally embrace the darkness within.

Jelelle Awen and I want to speak to, feel and transmit some more of this reconciliation in today’s livestream. Would you join us if you can? I’ll put the details in the comments below. 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Much love to you and your courageous journey,

~ R ~

SoulFullHeart.org/Soulfire

#raphaelsphotonics

(This pic was taken at a park on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, BC – showing off it’s Lemurian heritage and New Lemurian aspirations)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Sovereignty Within

By  Raphael Awen

Men Of The SoulFire.

It is your birthright as an individual, as a fractal/template of the Divine to be your own SOVEREIGN FREE WILL BEING that lives by your free will, meaning you do what you want, when you want and how you want, for the highest expression and benefit of everyone and everything in your life.

Essentially, whether we realize it or not, all of us are already expressing as this NOW, and always have been, even if we don’t know it yet, even if we learned to play small and victim to the powers that we perceive and that we authorized to be over us! This is one form/expression of our free will and sovereignty configuration, albeit at a low frequency.

Giving away our power, to others that we allow to dominate over us, whether consciously or unconsciously, is the only way an other can have any power over us. All authority only and ever arises from the individual, and is limited to that individual’s domain of influence. There is no other source from which power can arise, nor is there any such thing as true authority OVER an other. Presumed authority over an other is illegitimate and has no grounding in the higher heart of the universe. This bully kind of false expression of power uses a kind of dark magic manipulation of illusion, presumption and dominance of the free will of both the perpetrator and the victim.

In the higher heart way of the universe, the way of pure love, the sovereign individual expresses in a similar way as source consciousness itself, where all things arise from the free will power and essence of that mystery source energy that underlies, templates and fills all things, and is directed to the well being and thriving of all involved.

All of this means many different things, but the key one we are invited to focus on is that YOUR LIFE AS IT EXISTS/EXPRESSES TODAY IS YOUR CREATION.

That’s a lot to take responsibility for and can make for a lot of shame triggers if there are things in our lives that we regret or lament, as we all do at different times and situations. But this power and responsibility is a double edged sword, for it can also be (AND IS) your hope of deep and profound change at the core of your being.

This awakening to and responsibility for your true power is a deep remembrance of your divine essence, one that took many lifetimes to remember, piece by piece, experience by experience. We are learning to cease from the dynamics where we forfeit our power to any other that we’ve projected onto as having power over us, including governments, pharmaceutical ‘experts’, friends and family, spiritual teachers, and even to false Gods.

We find that we don’t need to ‘take back our power’ as much as we realize our power simply by no longer giving it away. Our power becomes ‘re-homed’ in us.

Learning how to express as a sovereign being is something that only occurs in relationships and circumstances involving others, be it a friendship, a family, or a member of a community of any kind. Sovereignty implies community (a relationship to others) as it’s impossible to be an individual without existing in some form of community as they are part and parcel of the same thing.

Sovereignty operates where one accepts the full authority and responsibility for their lives in relationship to all others in their lives as their birthright and divine blueprint as an individual.

So then, a sovereign being is one who possesses the power to act as their own supreme or ultimate power in any and all relationships.

Even if you choose to comply with a governmental law or edict, fearing reprisal for non-compliance, you come to realize that that is only and ever and always your choice that is at play, your power in action. You’re the one doing the choosing for your own reasons. This realization alone makes for a deep beginning of life changes and choice points that transmutes the fears underlying your relationships with others.

Doesn’t that sound juicy? It does to me! Sign me up for some more of THAT please!

So HOW then does one go about practically realizing and embodying this personal sovereignty more and more?

This change of your relationship to your true sovereignty is a core shift that begins an inner transformation of the power dynamics that have been occurring INSIDE OF YOU, FROM ONE PART OF YOU TO ANOTHER. From there, it naturally flows to your outward relationships with all of life.

No other will own your new found freedom or be able to dictate your relationship to it! This is a pearl of great price that you can never lose.

Gabriel Amara and myself are hosting a men’s group call on this subject on Sunday, November 27th that will lead you through the discovery of an inner reality, a ‘you to you’ reality where different parts of you are playing both ruler and subject separately. This can make for a polarized tyrant and victim dynamics held on the inside between parts of you that have not known anything else. We will introduce you to the process and experience of showing up for these parts of you, how to begin bridging to them, their realities. From that, you can discover how with deepening relationship to these parts of you, you literally transform the ground you walk on. And again, all of this FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

(The Men’s Group Call event listing details will be updated in the comments below soon – Gabriel and I welcome you to attend!)

Much love and sacred transformation within and without, Raphael.

The pic above, Gabriel and I, was at The Abbey in Glastonbury, UK, at the burial site of King Arthur’s Tomb, on All-Hallows eve, 2020.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Men Of The SoulFire: The Power In Your Choosing

By  Raphael Awen

Men Of The Soulfire.

You often begin a journey having more clarity about something that is no longer you, than you have of a knowing of what exactly IS you, of what it is that you actually want.

You’re outgrowing a container. It’s becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

Following this guidance of completing, letting go, admitting to yourself and in turn your world around you, what it is that you no longer wish to be a part of, you are eventually led to more understanding and participation of just what it is that you truly want and need.

The word ‘eventually’ is key here, because as you come to these negative realizations and admissions, both negating and validating the things that once served you, but are now completing, making real their completions, EVENTS synchronize with your choices and assist in the completion.

You activate the super intelligence that undergirds all things to engage with you to a higher interactive degree.

It’s very often a close relationship that’s ending, or a career, or a geography, or maybe a number of more subtle things cumulating and culminating inside of you.

Life awaits patiently your leadership of simple admission. The container shifting begins here.

Yet life also marches on even as it extends patience to you. Opportunity after opportunity can be refused, leaving you with backed up energy moving inside of you, creating dis-ease in the body, heart and soul.

Something has to give and something will give, again, ’eventually’.

Your power comes into play here as a key player in these events. Avoidance inevitably accumulates suffering, whereas embracement of change leads to empowerment.

Empowered Men are of a different heart and soul caliber because they intuitively know and feel that their lives are the ground of their true growth. They know their responses are like swordsmanship, cutting away what no longer serves, clearing away and making room for what wants to come, but doing no harm in the process.

One such grand culmination occurred for me in 2005. The height of the drama was a rather quiet, but utterly life changing admission to my world around me, at the age of 44 that I no longer held Jesus as my personal saviour, leaving behind a life spent in Christianity. This resulted in the dissolution of my total social world, including a 23 year marriage; relationship with daughters, and extended family.

Many other choice points have come and gone since and continue to come.

I’ve gone on to find my calling and joy in assisting other men in leading their sacred choices and lives, and then in turn providing a nexus point of community and shared experience with these men.

Men of the Soulfire.

I would like to offer myself and Gabriel Amara as a resource for engagement. Follow us here. Ask either of us for a free intro into 1:1 SoulFullHeart Soulfire Sessions for Men. More here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Find out more about SoulFire on our brand new web page: http://soulfullheart.org/soulfire

And there’s an upcoming Men’s Group Call over zoom on Sunday, November 27 at 5 pm London Time (a ways away, but I want to invite you early) about ‘Sovereignty In Community’. Details to come soon.

Thank you for being here.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

From The Void To Our Deepest Growth

By  Raphael Awen

Many of us personally, and all of us collectively, are moving through a kind of heightened void space.

What once held and secured us no longer does. Something, and often many interrelated things, are passing away.

Nature, consciousness and evolution can be quite unsentimental in this way of relentless flow in and out of the void space, death and rebirth. Life! It changes, evolves, and seeks new ways of learning and growth. It suddenly abandons old ways of being, returning to the void and then expressing itself in favour of new ways of being.

Even in what we call God, we tend to create and attribute a human kind of persona of caring and a human sort of kindness to this source/Allness/(first consciousness from which arises all other consciousness) – there’s a big word for that kind of God shaping – it’s called ‘Anthropomorphize’, where we essentially shape God in our own image, or more specifically project human traits onto our picture of God. From this tendency we get the word Idol, meaning a ‘graven image’ or carved image. False Gods have always been part of the problem/challenge haven’t they?

All of this raises the question: Does God/Source really care in the way we do, from the perspective that we do?

Did God/Source, do anything to stop the horrors we are witnessing unfold around us these past few years in the mass medical intervention with the pokey thing in the arm that is now ravaging so many lives? No, he/she or it did not. We tend to reason, ‘but I’d have stopped that in a heartbeat if I had the power to!’ What about the long list of suffering of the wars, hunger, human trafficking that seemingly go on unanswered over millennia?

Do we just chalk all of it up to the age-old ‘good against evil’ picture, and one fine day, the evil will be vanquished by the good if we remain faithful, and help our tired God out of its hairy predicament? Here again, we projected our own internal conflicts onto God. More idolatry.

And herein, we confront a big piece of our suffering and conditioning when we feel a world and even possibly a God behind it that doesn’t care, at least not in the ways we’ve been conditioned to feel and think about care.

What if (and this is a big WHAT IF) all of it, the evil, the good, the care, and the lack of care are all expressions and creations of this source consciousness’s evolution and learning? And WE, AS THAT, are created in that image, of also learning, growing, evolving, and finding a higher frequency of truly caring?

What if God is also learning at your feet how to care? What if you ARE a God fractal learning lessons in true feeling and caring?

I believe this speaks to the HUGE underlying void space that we are all sensing shift and rumble underneath the 3D world as we’ve known it. It is rumbling into a void space. It is collapsing. And with that collapse is the collapse of the presumption that God is the ultimate carer in the ways that we think he, she or it should care.

Every culture is based upon certain assumptions and perceptions of what reality is. The culture of 3D is based upon the childish assumption that ‘God cares’ while placing our own spin on what caring even is, and then suffering over the entitlement/disappointment that we’re left with.

I’m coming to realize more and more that God/Source doesn’t care in the ways we came to believe and think that he, she or it SHOULD.

That’s a HUGE cognitive dissonance, I know.

Having spent many a lifetime and a good part of this life in Christianity, I’m still reeling from this mind and heart bender.

What God cares about, in a non false caring kind of way, is its own growth into more and more love. God does this through your and my evolution of learning love and growth, and interestingly, actually learning about how to truly care!

I’m speaking about care on a much higher dimensional level than the kind of infantilizing, belittling care-taking that we tend to engage in, in 3D.

All of this should probably be a book, and not an attempt at a post on social media, but I’ll bet I’m striking a chord of both resonance and dissonance in hearts here…

We’re being asked to grow up.

We’re being asked to honour the necessary time we spent in our false God pictures as all part of our sacred evolution.

We’re being asked to truly care about what truly matters, about what truly shapes and creates matter, why matter itself is even here.

We’re being asked to become responsible for our own evolution in alignment with God’s own evolution.

All of that is a big void to cross, a TON of grief to grieve, but the other side of this void is where we come to actually and truly CARE AS DIVINE EXPRESSION, where the care for ourselves is synonymous and symbiotic with the care we have for all of life, in all of its expressions.

THIS actually answers all the lesser things we all care and have anxiety about. There’s a bigger care container here where care gets really real.

The darkness is waiting for you and I to grasp this, so it can see in living demonstration the path of its own homecoming evolution from darkness to light, from fear to love.

The evil is waiting for this demonstration of maturation and homecoming in YOU.

Our beloved guides, like for me personally, in Yeshua, Divine Mother, Divine Father, and a host of other personal guides and Metasouls are those who I see and feel as a more palatable/‘stepped down’ if you will, versions of God, who feel and relate to more of what I’m feeling on a daily basis, as compared to source consciousness who is more focused on simple unsentimental growth and evolution.

All of it, Source Consciousness, You, Me, Our Guides, are all in this learning together. We get to create what we most deeply want. We are in fact TASKED WITH creating what we most deeply want, as is the Divine!

That is the primordial void we are moving through – Re-creation at such profound levels where nothing is a loss compared to the gain being realized in us.

Jelelle and I did a live stream yesterday about our personal relationship with the void with a lot of how to’s about cultivating the self care to move with this void movement. You may want to take that in to feel how to more personally be with what I shared here today. You can find it here: https://youtu.be/zBo44j4QIKA

Much love and CARE,

~ Raphael ~

#rapahelsphotonics

The pic was of last night’s sunset, just off the patio, just after the live stream – one of the many manifestations from the primordial void. Sunsets are speaking to me more and more of death and rebirth, heralding and mourning with us the deep changes we are being asked to feel.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

How Spirituality and Growth Differ

By  Raphael Awen

Growth and becoming spiritual can be far from the same thing.

Growth is hinged on the quality of your intentions and responding with your deepest courage and integrity to the choices before you, in the sacred life before you as you currently know it.

You can become quite spiritual through a long list of practices like meditation or yoga. But the practice doesn’t determine growth, but rather the why behind what you are doing, irregardless if it’s meditating or feeding the dog.

We’re invited now to sift through our intentions, which is the real leverage point of our desired growth. Clinging onto or coveting spiritual routines and attainments can actually be detrimental to our growth.

Sort the intent and you may just find that everything you choose to do in life is equally spiritual. Then you can literally do whatever you really want and find growth traction, and be having too much fun in the process to be beating yourself up with another spiritual discipline. 💚

~ R ~

This pic came from this weeks wonderwalks in the area here.

#raphaelsphotonics

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Manifesting Your Dreams And Inner Negotiation

By  Raphael Awen

Manifesting your dreams begins with just that; manifesting your dreams.

As in looking at them, feeling them, negotiating with any and all parts of you who might feel uncomfortable with those dreams…

That business kind of negotiation will turn preciously personal as you feel and get to know the parts of you and their reasons for preferring a life lived with suppressed dreams.

I’m living in a life I could only dream of some years ago. Constantly, life is again asking me to feel into the deeper dreams that are in my heart and soul field.

None of us really need to go looking for our soul purpose. It’s always been encoded inside of us. If it feels hidden or unknown, that’s because parts of us have needed it that way. If other parts of are longing for growth and discovery and deeper embodiment, then that’s all within our power to embrace.

This gets us beyond gimmick spirituality and into the territory of deep live and die surrender into aliveness, passion and letting every moment be a part of an enlivening frequency.

Maybe, parts of you are asleep because their bored. Maybe parts of you have laid off from dead and boring spiritual practices and disciplines and dogmas because they ARE boring. The aliveness has been bored out of them and you and has left a gaping hole.

Thank God for that hole, because if you can address it, that hole is your salvation. Short of entering this void and beginning again to feel your dreams, it’s highly unlikely that anything desired or meaningful is going to show up in your life.

But this hole, combined with the power of your choice, is the one thing that changes every other thing.

Where are you? What are you doing? What are you needing? Are we meant to connect further somehow? I welcome hearing from you.

I help souls get on with their dreams. 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

~ R ~

#raphaelsphotonics

This photo was taken yesterday from our equinox gathering of 8 souls here in Portugal spending some time together being nurtured in nature. At a time with so much death being amplified around us, it feels gods to breathe in life, love and Gaia’s sustaining goodness.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Scarcity Is Just One Part Of The Play

By  Raphael Awen

Scarcity was needed to see and feel the underlying fullness and abundance that underlies everything.

Fear was needed to elucidate deep abiding trust.

As the fullness and the trust comes into your being more and more, as you awaken to the fullness that IS and that you ARE, you have less and less need for the scarcity and fear to lead your discovery.

As I tuned into Golden Earth this morning, I was greeted by the words, ‘There’s nothing to make happen here. Everything that needs to happen is already happening.’

Then I felt into the impulse to deepen this understanding inside of me, to open it out, which in itself, is another impulse to make something happen, isn’t it?! Then I felt this impulse to write about it, which I’m doing now! Dang it!

I know I’m not out of the woods on this one. I’ve lived a long time in the land of doing, achieving, of effort and reward.

But the invitation I feel, if I’m not quite ready to fully shake this impulse to do something, or to achieve something, is to let in this awareness, that there’s nothing that actually needs doing, or achieving.

If that’s true, then I’m left in the land of play. Play by definition is doing things for the fun of it, which is about as close as I can imagine as to why the divine does anything.

It’s all a play. And the parts of us who made it anything more than that, in terms of labour and scarcity, are all ultimately also at play. They’re just playing out necessary illusions that contribute back to the homecoming and reconciliation that you and I ARE.

Until,…. the characters in our play, (and what characters they are!), tire of the play.

May they each find waiting for them a deeply curious and open heart to land in, when their world has become so much less than the fun it once was. May they find an abundance of love and rest inside of your heart home.

Love, ~ R ~

#raphaelsphotonics

The photo above was taken playing with shooting pics of the roadside weeds at sunset here in Folques, Portugal.

The term ‘weed’ denotes something so abundant that it has no value, so it’s not noticed or wanted. In Golden Earth, the streets are rumored to be paved with Gold, and strangely, the pavement doesn’t go missing. It’s everywhere. You can take it or leave it. But people would wonder about you having piles of pavement stored in your basement, wouldn’t they?

Weeds become Gold, and Gold becomes weed. Wasn’t their some weed we all smoked back in the day called ‘Acapulco Gold’ as I recall? 💚😊

Much love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Healing Division Within To Experience Soul Family Reunion Without

by Kasha Rokshana

With so much polarity still moving in this Ascension process, gathering together as one can feel so out of reach. It can feel like there’s just no way to reconcile the differences we’re really coming to recognize between us.

It feels sometimes like there’s just so many mountains to climb in order to come back into alignment with ourselves, let alone with others. The inner polarities are just as real as the outer, if not even more real at times, with so much division happening between parts of us that are torn about next life choices and caught up in fear spirals as they imagine what could go wrong rather than lean into guidance, hope, and Divine trust.

What truly divides us as human beings on this ongoing journey we’re ALL a part of is the conflict that lives inside us which lays and maintains the foundation for outer conflict, the need to be right, the need to prove, and the push-pull relationship to life, love, and others around us. It’s the resistance to inner intimacy that creates resistance to outer intimacy… it’s the pull of how the Matrix lives inside of us, let alone how we’re impacted by it on the outside, that can create so much ongoing tension and pain.

The recent Autumn Equinox gathering that we had here in our growing community of SoulFullHeart is a powerful example of how moving through the inner polarities really does create a more intimate and flowing ground with others on the outside, with so much love and appreciation for our differences rather than a deep level of reaction. This is possible because of soothing and healing the inner edges between parts and soul aspects of us, validating their experiences instead of diminishing them, yet also challenging them to move beyond their experiences to let in something new inside and out.

This is possible because of a willingness to stay in the room with ourselves, gathering each part of us back into our hearts, reclaiming shadow and light at every turn, letting in how we impact each other in both good and uncomfortable ways and being willing to feel how all of that always stems from deep within…

Every single soul on this planet is a brave one just for being here. It takes a special brand of soul courage to take on the monumental challenge of polarized duality while on some level our souls, consciously or unconsciously, long for reunion and reconciliation back into oneness. Those who are willing to truly stay in the room with themselves, with a growing sense of undying Divine support and love to keep moving through everything there is to move through and feel, are the ones who know there’s so much more to glean from this whole Ascension process if we’re truly going to transform and evolve into the Sacred Humans we’re here to become and remember too that we always WERE.

I’m so grateful to have moved through so much inner tension and pain in order to be a part of this room I find myself in with soul family. And I’m so grateful to all the souls around me who share this journey and have experienced it so deeply themselves. Our gatherings are turning into soul family reunions in the flesh and I’m so looking forward to welcoming more souls to them in the future!

Our gatherings are an invitation to any soul who has been drawn to have 1:1 sessions with us and has been in sessions for a time. The virtual session space serves the healing of the inner pieces that need to be felt before the in-person space can open up as a possibility, but the invitation to reunite with us is always there! Now is a time of feeling this journey inside and out and making conscious choices to live in deeper resonance with self and with others, to feel empowered in that way and to live into our reasons for being here truly as one.

With much love and appreciation for your own ongoing journey of inner and outer reconciliation and healing,
Kasha

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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Healing Of The ‘Matrix Masculine’

This past Equinox gathering of hearts and souls pushed up a lot for me that has roots deep in my soul. I also felt how it was connected to the collective as well. When that happens it can be a lot to sort and move through. Yet, this is why I am here. This is why my soul has guided me to be a part of an intimate community so that I can feel and heal what needs feeling and healing on a personal level, which in turn makes waves in the quantum world. 

After the completion of my sacred union relationship with Kasha, I found myself in a ‘doing’ mode that seemed to put a wall around my deeper grief. I have had tender moments of loss and remorse, but it was made clear that a part of me had a strategy to ‘avoid the void’ of the deeper grief that lives inside. There is a great separation wound that exists inside that I have skirted the edges of, thinking I have met it fully, when in fact I have been swimming in the shallow end of the pool to some degree. 

This is not a prescription for me to dive into the deep end willy-nilly, but rather to be aware of the territory and let it arise in its due course. My soul will know when I am ready. Alongside the Sacred Grief, there was also another layer of inadequacy and unworth that came into my field with the acknowledged strategy of avoidance. This is tricky as I felt it in an inner masculine aspect of myself that I have worked with for a long time. He represents so much of my own personal masculine as well as a connection to what I have felt as the ‘Matrix Masculine’. 

This aspect was born/constructed from the womb of the False Mother/Father matrix we are all a part of to some degree or another. He has been wrapped up in it like a fly caught in a spider’s web. At times, he is motivated to fight against it, find freedom from it, or learn to master it. Either way there is still a relationship to it that is at odds. The history of being stuck in this loop has created a deep seed of suffering, grief, shame, and feeling lost. He has been separated from his own feminine counterpart on the inside which exacerbates the condition. 

I was shown this disconnect from my own inner feminine part as well as from my own Divine Essence or Self. It was an illumination of the wounding within the Holy Trinity of Self-to-Self, Self-to-Other, and Self-to-Divine. This masculine part of me, named Marcus, is at the hub of this. He represents so much of my power, truth, and vision. He also represents the pain, the pressure, and the punishment. 

Beside the disconnect from my inner feminine there is also one with my inner child and him. He has forgotten the art of play and the presence of innocent joy that it brings. The reconnection of all three feels like another Holy Trinity of masculine, feminine, and innocence. When we as men can have contact with all three in a sacred dance and flow, we have found ourselves on a new strata of personal experience of the world we live in. 

This compartmentalization happened for protective reasons as well as wounded ones. It is now bringing these aspects of me back into the same room and starting the healing and reunion process. I also feel a need for my beloved wounded masculine to be seen and felt as the Divine Son that he is rather than the Lost Son. That is an ongoing process that will take time as reintegration and ascension does. 

On the integrated side of the journey, it opens up more of my divine masculine heart to be in love with myself and those close to me. It opens up my trust and leadership as well as my creativity and play. It offers me a new timeline of what it means to be a human man merging again with Spirit and Source. With the Shadow and the Light. 

Thanks for taking this all in as I hope it gives a doorway into this process for others that feel a resonance with what I continue to work with inside of myself as a man in a very intimate community and healing process.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.