It’s Worth It To Keep Feeling: A Message From The Divine

by Kalayna Solais

“It will be worth it,” the Divine offers, “just keep feeling”.

We dive in. We swim in the emotional waves, exploring the caves and crevices long-hidden beneath them. Parts of us feel as if they are drowning at times in the intensity, but then the wave ebbs and they surface, breathing new air.

It’s worth it because the new air is worth it. It’s fresher, cleaner, purer than what you settled for before. It reminds you that everything you feel has magic in it and revelations too that relieve so much even if the revealing is bittersweet to taste.

Each wave of feeling has its own power and place in your heart where it wants to be held.

Not bypassed.

Not fixed, nor gotten rid of.

Just held. Honoured. Loved.

“You’re worth it all,” the Divine reminds us, “and you’ll soon have it all, sooner than you think, if you keep feeling, trusting, being, and loving everything you are”.

~

Painting: Divine Love by Chanchal Ganguly

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Incoming Energies Support Coming Out Of Hiding In ALL Ways & Relationships

By Kalayna Colibri

It continues to get harder and harder to compartmentalize, to hide, to avoid feeling all there is to feel. The parts of you that have worked so hard to keep certain things hidden, maybe especially your spirituality and consciousness, your real desires for your life, heart and soul too… these parts are finding that they’re getting tired and it’s just plain getting harder to stay closeted and under wraps. To avoid the necessary messes is becoming nearly impossible anymore as your soul makes choices for your growth and its deeper healing and openings that it can’t be steered away from any longer.

You may find yourself in conflicts that parts of you are feeling stumped by, wondering how they could have gotten here when they’ve worked so hard to keep your truth and perhaps the truths of others too in a sort of holding pattern.

This, it feels like, is the root of bigger Disclosure events and what Ascension constantly invites us into. Disclosure within and in all relationships you have is a process and one that has been ongoing for a while now too. It feels like this is ramping up more now too, where parts are even becoming a bit lax about hiding anything, feeling exhausted by how hard they’ve worked to maintain these veils for so long…

There’s so much that surfaces now, especially perhaps the harder more intense and dark feelings, not to be tortured by (though parts of you may feel it this way) but to be brought into your heart and held, finally, so the real vulnerability of the real fears and places of inner suffering can be transmuted with love.

It’s a process of one part or Metasoul Aspect at a time… to feel every nuance, every piece that is emerging and not just ‘release’ it, but to have a relationship with it that is built and held by love and can therefore be transmuted into more love within you.

It’s a process I have loved and fallen in love with over and over again… and it invites you to fall in love with you, with everything you’ve thought was only dark or dreary too, to claim every gift of who you are in this moment now, and every gift of who you are that you aren’t even aware of yet…

If what has been hidden remains hidden, the treasure deep within the dark caves and caverns would never be discovered… and the process of your healing and Ascension will have trouble finding it’s places of deepening, its ways to move beyond all suffering no matter how buried, and its way into a true experience of 5D and beyond.

~

To support you on your journey and to help you feel the parts of you that are hurting over the circumstances they may be moving through with you, you can check out our Bridging Sessions offering which is very affordable and powerful too: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session I have slots available next week for young women under 35 and would love to serve you!

Much love to you! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

We Are Living Art

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Image by Garbriel Heartman

Yesterday I began painting for the first time in a couple of months.  Since I was a young boy, visual art in the form of drawing, coloring, and painting has always been a source of pleasure and expression for me.  It has also been a source of suffering by way of inner criticism and perfectionism.  So much desire to create beauty for the eyes and heart to take in and be moved by.  I feel a soul passion when I start to create and a plethora of reaction that offer me doorways into my wounding.  So it feels like a romance in a way with a ton of grist and possibility.

When I am in the “zone”, time disappears.  I am in flow and it feels like my essence is coming out to play.  After being in that space, I could feel a reaction to being “outside” of it.  Like that feeling went away and I couldn’t get it back.  I lost the mojo and the only way to get it back was to start painting again.  I can feel that like a drug reaction.  I began to feel how a part of me was relating to the experience and not the “whole” me.  The Gabriel that relates to the act of painting as a part of a larger “painting” that is being created by my Higher Self in all moments of each “day”.

We are Creators.  We are Artists of exquisite talent and power…regardless of what we consider to be artistic.  Right now I am creating.  My words are manifesting a vibration of energy that is being sent out into the cosmic canvass.  They may land in someone or not. They my have impact or disinterest.  But either way I am creating something in this moment.  I am feeling myself as I type and that is altering my experience of who I am.  I am feeling a different relationship to my world in the moment.  Something will reflect back to me my energy and I will get to feel that and be changed again.

There are times when a brush stroke will land away from an intended space and the order of what a part of me was expecting just became disorder.  It just got messy and something comes up for me to feel.  I can see it as a mistake or as something to learn from and see it is meant to stay a part of the creation.  Maybe I am offered a new vision, and new pathway to create something totally different and unexpected.  Something I just couldn’t see or feel beforehand.  My consciousness just shifted and I grew from it.

In this awareness, I feel I have a choice.  A choice to be in my reaction and let it take me where I need to go even if it is messy, or I can hold and feel what part of me is energizing this emotion and see what it is want to message to me.  Neither which is wrong.  Both are creating and informing.  There are no mistakes in art as there are none in growth.

So let that brush go! Let it follow your intuitive heart.  Make lines and splashes.  Realize that you are the one that is in your full power of choice.  If your tapestry feels like it is in disarray, there is a part of you that is creating that to get your attention.  It is responding to the chaos within.  If you are wanting more, see that more and feel your way through the perceptions that can’t let in that more.  To be great creators means we take on great responsibility for what we create.  It is time for us to paint a new picture of what we feel is possible and turn it into probable and let it become likely until it is definitely.

Create a bigger and grander picture for yourself that goes beyond what parts of you have been conditioned to believe and expect.  This is done through being with and feeling the parts of you that have been capped due to many personal experiences and collective memes.  We are powerful individually, but exponentially so collectively.  Let us consciously create a new world together full of magic and color!

If you are curious to be a part of a creative healing community that is committed to letting in all that we can infinitely be,  please join us on our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST.  You can go to http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Feeling And Healing Our Inner ‘Wounded Healer’ And Our Push-Pull In Serving Others

by Kalayna Colibri

healing hands healer

 

As we move through our own ascension processes, we may feel called to serve others in their own processes too. Actually, it feels like many of us are feeling this calling deeper and deeper and it’s becoming as loud as a roar while things ramp up in our world with collapsing systems and collapsing ways of life. As more and more of the inauthentic, power-over-others based ways of being and doing fall apart around and within us, there is a growing need to help each other sift through the rubble and find a way to keep moving forward through life and upward with ascension on all levels of our being. In addition to this desire to be a part of creating and building a new world, we feel called to be healers because somewhere inside of us, we NEED to be healers, for the sake our own growth and healing too. It becomes a crucible for healing just like any other. The more we open up to serving love with others, the deeper the invitation into our own growth as souls and sacred humans too.

A question I feel to ask today regarding this call to be a healer, is what qualifies someone to become the healer they’re meant to be? After all, for many (if not all) of us who are choosing to expand our consciousness in every moment, becoming a ‘healer’ is more or less a birthright. In my experience of it though, it’s not a role we’re entitled to, nor is it something that we can expect to just sort of ‘happen’. It seems to me that as healers, we tend to have the toughest life crucibles to walk out and also, we tend to have inside of us a deep reticence towards healing and serving others that also needs to move and heal… ‘healing the healer’ involves going deeply into this shadow of the ‘wounded healer’ and in essence our courage to go into this so feels like what qualifies us, above all else, to serve others with sobriety, deep empathic feeling, genuine compassion, and reverential awe for who they are in soul, heart and body. You won’t have authentic access to feel and hold others in this way while parts of you are still feeling very much the opposite. This could be subtle too, so this process of really going into and healing this can be tricky, making it very necessary to have help from those who have been there when venturing into this shadow territory. This is a key piece we offer in SoulFullHeart and one that we hold as critical for being able to truly embody our healership and genuinely serve love.

It doesn’t seem to ever get to the point where your energy can honestly say to others, “I’m healed so now I can serve you”. Rather, it’s more about getting to the point where you can open-heartedly claim, “I’m vulnerably working some pieces, but I am ahead of you enough on my chosen path of healing that I can serve you and help you find your way to where I am now.” It feels important to note that ‘ahead’ is not ‘above’ and if the healer you’re working with doesn’t feel like they are ahead of you and embodying something you too would like to embody, and is maybe instead posturing as if they are worth more than you are, this is a sure sign of an inauthentic claim of their healership and that they may need to check in with where their own love overflow is at.

Ultimately, what seems to ‘qualify’ us is so not certifications, though of course these initiations can help and can also lead us to the paths we are meant to be on. Instead, life is the ultimate qualifier, as well as humbled self-authority which is also necessary. Yet parts of us claiming authority on something we/they haven’t yet lived out or embodied creates a tinny tone to this claim and our draw of others to serve won’t be what we really want it to be. Push-pulls around people or humanity in general and also around living a healthy lifestyle where there is lots of space to really be with ourselves, our parts and soul aspects, and work on our own healing, are all indications of a need to go back inward to keep feeling that ‘wounded healer’ inside, which could be one or more parts of us grabbing at this role, and use our healing gifts to work with and love THEM first as our number one priority.

It’s a gift to really let ourselves, as healers, collapse into a humble need to continue healing on many levels and doing so can only benefit us and the people we’re called to serve. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

What It Truly Means To Be Me: Owning My Emotional Reality

heart_on_sleeve

By Kathleen Calder

I am here in my emotive, energetic and physical body. I am not here to transcend my reality and I am certainly not here to waste this lifetime on not living into what it truly means to be me.

It took me over two years involved with this SoulFullHeart way of life for it to land, but I finally woke up to something very important during a session yesterday – what makes your authentic self “authentic” is real, in the moment feeling and outing your emotional reality from a grounded place within yourself.

I’ve been under the impression, or perhaps another part of me has, that the SFH Self (what we call the authentic self), is essentially non-reactive and only seems reactive when fused with a part and/or choosing to validate and advocate for a part’s emotional reality. As it turns out, this simply isn’t true. Life isn’t about finally reaching a state of non-reactivity in order to be considered “emotionally matured” and “centred”. It isn’t surprising to me that given how powerful I have felt my own emotional reactions to be that the majority of people in our culture seek some way to invalidate themselves and to only come from a place of “centre” or calm. Stillness lives inside of all of us but refusing to be triggered by others actually doesn’t do us or them any favours.

I remember that a number of years ago I subscribed to the idea that anger is fine depending on how you use it. In other words, I tried to find ways to channel it that didn’t tell anyone I was angry at them directly. I also tried to find ways to just not feel it, but it would eventually find ways to come out. We are meant to flow with our emotions, not build walls around them…and not journal them away either. Journaling can help emotions flow and move in a way, but your journal can’t give you reactions back and help you dig deeper. People can. Life can.

I am not a victim to my feelings, though they haven’t always garnered positive feedback. I am entertaining this new energy of simply owning how I feel in an authentic, no bullshit, in the moment way. What’s sad is that outside of SoulFullHeart it is much harder to trust I will land somewhere, but I am not a victim to that either. Through ongoing work with my parts on my own and in sessions, I am building a deepening trust ground inside of myself. Trusting that all of my reactions are sacred, at least to me, and that there is no greater relief than to let them out responsibly. I have enough emotional healing and maturity now to trust I will not resort to name-calling, though at times there may be a defensive “fuck you” that has to surface. I can hold that. I can also hold my apology afterwards if I hurt somebody, but I also trust that their hurt is good data to them and to me. Hurt and pain is a roadmap meant to surface, not be stashed away for another day or even another lifetime.

Yesterday’s session was a couples’ session with Christopher and I. We have traveled a rocky road together, having had several incarnations of our coupleship over the past year. In some ways we are more solid than ever, but there is still one thing that trips us up – owning and outing how we feel in a vulnerable and authentic way. Parts of us have been wanting to tiptoe around each other still, caretaking one another but also fearing that if we do out how we feel we will no longer have love flowing between us. This is always possible, no matter what, however. So the real cost as I feel it now, is to ourselves and our own healing and growth. If the knife of our words can only be turned inwards, we are poisoning ourselves and there is nowhere for any of it to move and heal. If I do not out how I am feeling about my mate, no matter how “unreasonable” part of me may say it is, I am not honouring my true feelings and they are getting no air. Neither is he. We are in this to react to and trigger each other. We are not in this to “coast” through life, though parts of us would probably prefer that most days.  The cost of that is no deepening intimacy or closeness. The cost of that is an expiry date no matter what, for at this point on our healing paths, there is no way I will stand for stasis for long and he probably won’t either. As scary as it feels to rock the boat, the true cost is “me” if I don’t. My truth and heart get suppressed and my spirits become dampened with a victimhood I have put on myself.

I am here in my emotive, energetic and physical body. I am not here to transcend my reality and I am certainly not here to waste this lifetime on not living into what it truly means to be me. Join me? www.soulfullheart.com 🙂

Kathleen Calder has been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way of Life since January, 2012. Go here to read more of her writing and visit soulfullheart.com for more information about SoulFullHeart.