By Raphael Awen
We get to be real.
In fact, all of life is a ‘real’ization of something from one dimension being manifested into another dimension – being ‘realized’. The etymology of the word ‘real’ stems back to the word ‘royal’. We are all royals awaiting deeper and deeper levels of our manifestation of the sovereign beings we are.
All of life is also a resistance of this birthing into reality as well. Realization doesn’t occur without intention, choice and action. So It’s wired into the system, yet it doesn’t occur until and as we are ready for it to occur.
A big integration piece for me in the last number of years has been integrating a much deeper level of my own power and passion that contained my anger and my truth-telling in relationship. In some ways, this aspect of myself was cordoned off from all of my relationships including my relationship with Jelelle. Epic sorts of judgments lived inside of me that no relationship could sustain the presence of my truth-teller, and so this part of me was only allowed presence in certain measured ways. Looking back, his energy was channeled into my self-employment, business days. That worked well while it did.
What’s coming up for me and this integration with this part of me now is feeling how I want more real transactional grounds in all of my relationships. I found myself challenging an amazing woman who had come all the way to leave home and join our community here in Vallarta with my sense that I couldn’t feel any curiosity in her about me and my story. I found myself challenging someone in the Facebook comments stream the other day when they simply commented an innocuous sounding ‘this too shall pass’ and I replied with ‘hey, that feels diminishing and caretakey’.
Underneath it all is a surge of ‘get real or go home’. In my days in Christianity, a bold preacher once said ‘I feel we should shove a microphone in everyone’s face and say WHY ARE YOU HERE?’ This part of me so resonated with that then. Let’s cut the churchy ‘everyone’s welcome’ crap and get to whatever it is that we really want.
I know I’m moving more and more to this ‘more’ that I want. I’ve been gifted an amazing audience to teach into giving me back deep affirmation and a place for my words to land. I feel now however to inhabit the comments stream with a new pressing of ‘what is it that you want?’ and what sounds like a store clerks clarity of ‘and how can I help you today?’ The feeling in this is that I’m here for more than the affirmation, as good as that is. I’m here for transaction, reciprocity, and reward. There’s a 5d sense of ‘show me the money.’ Truth is that anything less is fading fast in its ability to hold my interest.
This part of me would say that there is a ton of love and light smokescreen bullshit passing itself off for spirituality today, and it’s just plain boring as hell. This in retrograde and that in 5d, can all be a huge pile of steaming horseshit when used to not feel or to not get real, and I’ve lost all ability to form any kind of bond around it with someone.
So, in giving this part of me space after having been afraid of it for so long, I want to shove the microphone in your face and ask you ‘why are you here and what is it that you want?’
That’s a ton of energy, I know, but I suspect you can handle it, or you probably wouldn’t be drawn to me, and you have a part of you that resonates deeply.
Gabriel and I have been talking this one through a lot lately as we share this dynamic in our history, feeling where we are being given opportunity to drop any nice guy roles, open our heart and go direct. It so feels like the universe is wanting to take us collectively and individually into these new places.
I’m here because I want to help people and I want to be exchanged with (paid) in a variety of ways for what I offer. These writings and other offerings that I share for free in SoulFullHeart are intended to draw the people who want more to pursue more. For those who are served by the writing and don’t engage further, I am grateful to have had that opportunity, but my intention is for engagement beyond that. I’ve set up my shop and now it’s ‘So, how can I help you?’ How can I help you get past the love and light bullshit that stands in the way of you inhabiting all that your sovereign higher self is inviting you into?
I’ve let go of a ton to stand in and be in this place of claiming a heart and soul integrity sufficient enough to assist you in realizing yours. We get to be real and we get to be real together.
I leave you today with a link to dive into as deeply as you are drawn to. I’d like to serve you inside of deepening ‘real’ization and ‘real’ationship.
With heart open love,
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.