by Kalayna Solais
So much energy and focus has been placed on drawing THE mate… THE soul purpose… THE, well, anything you can think of that you’ve longed for your whole life or at least since you began to awaken.
But the pursuit of the Divine itself has been at the heart of it all… or perhaps, better to say, the pursuit of letting IN the Divine in a deep and unending love affair that lives deep inside of you.
This has been true for me. And only in these last few days have I really come to deeper realizations about this.
Parts of me have sought out an experience of a bond with the Divine through so much focus on drawing my next Sacred Union experience as well as a much deeper validation, you could say, of my reason for being here, for living, for serving love. I’ve visited and hung out with these darker edges of searching on the outside for what has been needed from me to me and from the Divine to me and back again.
I’ve shrunk, or parts of me have, in order to fit in with different ideas and ideals, social and romantic bonds, forgetting in moments the Divinity within and the unseverable cord to the Divine, to the Great Beloved, to Love itself, that sees everything I AM even when parts of me aren’t quite ready to yet. And… to let in that I too can have this love affair in an ever-deepening way with myself.
It doesn’t matter what I ‘know’. It never matters if I’m ‘right’. It doesn’t matter if I gain or lose 20lbs or if my hair is straight or curly. It doesn’t matter if my yoga poses are in full power, if I’m a ‘perfect’ SoulFullHeart Facilitator or a perfect spiritual student. It doesn’t matter… but my soul and heart’s relationship to the Divine within does. And this is what permeates all other things that I do, that I am, and that I am becoming.
The Divine really feels like the greatest lover we could ever conjure up in our romantic fantasies… the infinite love that sees everything we simply ARE beyond any facades, any fears, any window-dressing of self-image, and loves every inch of our bodies, every thought in our minds. It brings to us bouquets of compassionate flowers, leaving them at our heart’s doorstep every day. It’s the energy of being pursued with so much grounded and deeply loving gusto, that wants and persists in this wanting and claiming and pursuit.
This is so often sought through the false gods of relationships with false teachers, mates who cannot see us for they cannot see themselves, and even some spiritual or religious practices. This is so often not templated to us as something that is our birthright to have inside of us, from us to ourselves and our parts and back again.
We forget devotional practices so often, it seems… or what is at the core of them. We forget that in these practices of prayer, dancing, singing, meditation, we are also being responded to. We are not only worshipping and offering gratitude, we are being worshipped back. We are being loved deeply, no matter what we do or say. We are being met with equal desire for connection and alchemy. We take in nature and it takes us in. We take in love and love opens its heart to us.
As I let in the Beloved more and feel this energy live and breathe within me, I feel such a deeper sense of my authentic worth. This makes all else, all false gods parts of me have created out of a need and desire to experience God in an even more intimate way nearly fall away as I begin to truly feel how this is enough. I am enough. I AM. The Divine IS. My union with the Divine IS and always will BE.
And so it is, for you as well, for your preciousness as a heart and soul… And all beings on this planet.
Much love… Namaste.
Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.