By Raphael Awen
Love is the thing we crave the most, but strangely, it is also the thing we resist the most.
How in the world could both of these be true at the same time?
I feel it has to do with how we are love in search of itself.
If we set out to define what we are, we soon see the inadequacy of a biological description of what we are or any kind of mental description, and we are left parked at the door of reverence.
Awe and wonder opens us out to seeing and feeling the love that is at core of the universe (or multiverse, or whatever other word you currently use to attempt to describe the largest container that we all swim in).
Love itself set out to know itself, through the challenge of opening itself out to what it isnβt. Love set out to grow beyond the fullness of bliss that it already was, admitting that an emptiness was beginning to invade the fullness of itself.
In other words, it simply came to want more. It grew dissatisfied.
If this is true, then the very lives we are living today, (rather than the one you imagine living after attaining some grand spiritual attainment) are already deeply grounded in loveβs holding and expansion. Everything in your life that feels like not-love is an opportunity for love to come to know itself inside of circumstance. Prior to your and my circumstances, love had no mirror like circumstance in which to see or know itself, as it was all there was.
Then if this is true, then how do we ground this into our waking reality, our livelihood, our relationships, our anxieties, our dreams?
I believe the most effective way to act on this is to βrealβ-ize it into everyday life, to enculturate it into your life the same way your present reality came to be enculturated in you. What it feels like to be you today came to you relationally. It came to you through the dynamic of relationship exchange. It involved a you and an other. If you had a somewhat normal development, at around 2 years of age, you began to feel yourself as an other, leaving the oneness bliss oroboros of being one with your mother. From then on, you became conditioned as a distinct and separate you through the relational (you to other) experiences that you have had since then.
Very fortunately for each of us is the truth that what we are made up of is in fact many separate and distinct others. Our personality is in fact more of a family presentation than it is what we think of as a single person.
This now gets to the core of our question at hand – how could we both crave love and resist love at the same time?
As a soul being, that existed prior to our human inhabitation and expression, we set out to know love. We did that by entering a human domain where the matrix perception reality is one of the scarcity of love. Our human experience is well versed in learning how to survive in loveβs lack, how to minimize our needs and function on as little as possible. But what we are and where we came from is all about the superabundance of love. We know this in every cell of our being, regardless of the poverty that may be at play in our lifeβs dramas.
We are living two stories at the same time. The plot is one where everything has been put at stake for the re-realization of loveβs fullness. Love risked everything it had when it put its greedy wager out on you, and it wonβt be satisfied until you are basked in loveβs utter immersion and return to the oneness from whence you came.
You get to be an active facilitator of this process when you reach out relationally to these parts of you that make up what youβve called you. You get to be this beacon of loveβs superabundance to these aspects of your being that weβre hoodwinked into the scarcity side of the matrix equation. The lack was necessary until now. Now, you are invited to shift into part two of your lifeβs story.
Let love be felt and experienced by every part of you in a sacred relational reparenting process, where every bruised leg and skinned knee is an opportunity to discover what real love is.
When you become reconvinced of the superabundant love world, the scarcity world takes leave of your consciousness and takes leave of your ongoing life story.
You are the story of love waiting to be told and retold for the millennia to come.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Β Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.
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