Our relationships can feel like an endless circle, and run in infinite circles too… cycles of pain, of this and that being faced, brought up, fought over, over and over again, while inside of you, you feel as if you ARE the relationship and have a hard time sensing where it ends and you begin.
The same stories are told in countless ways. Stories about the friendship, the romance, the family holiday when you were 5. Some of these stories are told outright, while some are told unconsciously through the ways you’re used to being and interacting with each other. So much of this is accepted by part of you, as being just ‘the way it is’ and perhaps the way it has always been. The relationships you see around you don’t challenge this mind and heart-set of yours either, as they are stuck in the same or very similar loops and cycles. There are certain questions that are never asked about the health of it all and the degree to which it’s self-loving or not, to remain in these stories. Sometimes the Pleasantville experience of it all isn’t so pleasant, yet you remain and aren’t encouraged to ask why… and often the answer to the ‘why’ is that there are fears and more unanswered questions about how life would look without these relationships in place, or at least in the same place they’ve always been up ’til now.
To remain fully involved in all relationships around you without a chance to go inward and discover YOU leads to a world of intense defenses and protection instead of healthy boundaries. It asks parts of you to blend-in, merge, become the relationships instead of feeling what they feel. It asks you to put a stopper in your own growth and the growth of others too. There is so much more to be discovered within you, if you can find a way to take the space you need… and to listen to that voice within, that wants to help clarify for you what you need and want most and what you are most worthy of experiencing in relationship with yourself and others.
To go into YOU… this is risky for these relationships. It does ask them to change as you change, and often it seems that others aren’t willing to come with you. They have a choice to go inside too, to join you on your path or find their own. There is nothing wrong here, there is only what is real… which is perhaps the hardest thing to trust. What is real is what heals and is also what grounds you into the new soil your roots of heart and soul are aching to grow in – the garden bed of a budding ‘self’ that wants to flourish in its self-ness and explore relationships with others from a new place of worth and love that flows deeply on the inside of a YOU that you are now coming to know and become.
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.