Sitting. Meditating. Thoughts swirling all around. Analyzing, comparing, judging, questioning, doubting, wondering, and hiding. I can feel the density of it all and yet my highest heart and soul is holding it all with care and compassion. I am on a path. A journey. One that has chosen to come to terms with these 3rd Dimensional polarities and woundings inside me as beloved parts of my Highest Self.
I can remember the days before beginning this process. The days where I would be looking for any form of relief I could find to make all the intense inner energies just go away. Not be felt anymore. This ranged from self-help to spirituality to substance abuse. Using movies, food, exercise, sex and socializing as ways to cover over what was so front and center in my emotional body. Yet I just couldn’t find the courage to really go IN and deal with it all, for I could intuitively feel that if I did, a part of me would have to let go of all the suffering it had been used to as Life itself. It was an existential identification with the pain in a way. Who would I be without it?
It almost seems odd to feel that a part of us would be addicted to something so painful. But when you make the choice to finally go into the hard-to-feel places, you realize how much of this part of you has been invested in it. That it has become its world. It has substituted something much smaller in place of what is much bigger, yet it hasn’t quite picked up on that until it has been given the time and space to feel and see it.
This is where the 3D self begins to recognize all that it has done to make life navigable and bearable. Even using higher frequencies to by-pass the lower ones. It is a tricky circumstance because it all feels right until what remains unfelt comes back again and again. The oil of our wounding continues its ascension just as much as our consciousness. I can feel that in meditation.
As we have been developing the SoulFullHeart process more clearly, with an emphasis on the 3D Self in the beginning, I can feel all those nooks and crannies that still hold court inside my emotional body. They don’t hold the same power as they once did but they are there nevertheless. It has been generally referred to as our Ego, and it is something that has gotten some negative publicity. Something to transcend rather than heal and transform. This aspect of us is a very important part of our ascension as it holds so many traumas and fears. It is seeking love and integration, not annihilation.
So in this moment I hold those fears, judgments, and doubts as sacred beings inside my heart. They are the keys to new worlds inside me and a transformation of the world outside. I can feel some difficult things that still need my attention and that means I am on the right path. Not that the path is meant to be hard, it is just that we set up some challenges for ourselves to live our way through so we can find out what it is we are truly all about and what we are not.
This new focus has lit up something in my own journey, and when you start to feel these hidden wounds within the context of a larger process, you too will begin to realize how much gold has been buried inside you awaiting your harvest. All held by the love of your Higher 5D Self and your Divine Parents. They are what brings us to the next going-on place toward our greatest calling in the service of love.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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