By Raphael Awen
I want to shake men.
I want to yell in their face ‘Why are you here!?’ and ‘What in the hell is it that you want!?’… even if I piss a few men off in the process.
I want to yet again shake and awaken myself.
I don’t want your or my settled niceness. I don’t want your or my spiritual adeptness at the cost of our passion. I don’t want your adaptation. I want to see and feel your rawness….because I so want to see and feel more of my own.
As a man, there is a way that you represent all men, and even ARE all men. When you settle, we all settle. When you choose not to feel, you set a far reaching agenda for all men.
There is a also a way that you are surrounded with every ounce of love and resource that exists…. And to significant degree, you are immune to all of it, because you are afraid.
You are afraid of your own truth. You are afraid of what you really want. You are afraid of your own passion. You are afraid of none other than yourself and the journey called your life.
It’s not necessarily true for all of you, but it is true for a part of you. And until you get in touch with this afraid part of you, you have not even entered your own kingdom, let alone made any claim over it. Until you enter your own sovereign kingdom in this way, you are on the edge of amounting to little more than a bad example, which in the universe’s economy is still considered a lot, but is it enough for you?
Everything in your power, but yet nothing in your realization…that is, to write home about, the home that you came from.
I’m surprised a bit at the edge in my words today. They are directed at myself as much as they are shared with others. I want to advocate for my truth, in my own kingdom, the land of my own sovereignty, and be matched by other kings of heart. This is finding a new agenda for manhood. This is finding out why and what our gender polarity is all about and our relationship to the opposite gender.
It begins with owning all that’s going on inside for you, as best you can feel it and describe it, and then to find the boy inside and relieve this boy who yet only knows hiding all he feels. There is very serious work to do. There is getting real with why you are here and what you really want. To not see the cost side of this ledger only means you are not here yet. If life as you currently know it is structured around disconnect and hiding, then any forward movement inward will have a one to one correlation with a necessary deconstructive movement outward, that you are going to have to begin self-lovingly negotiating, as soon as you are ready.
This is the heart passion that lives in painted moving swirls on the walls inside of my truth, and the fire colours that colour the underside of the clouds that float through my skies. This is my own parallel dimension where I must be while we as men sort out our next going on place together. BUT, if you don’t want your shit, I don’t want you. I can’t really want you until you want you. Not anymore.
I used to need men to validate my own subconscious need to hide. Then I got really curious to the point of being possessed about my own need to hide. I entered the domain of my own hiding and to this day, I still am. I’m reporting from my own cave, now transmuting into an infinite portal to so much more than I can’t even describe. Truth be told, if I hadn’t felt into my own fears heretofore, I simply wouldn’t have the balls to go any further in what is on the docket now.
But I really don’t want to do this and be this alone, because I don’t have to. I am called to lead and I feel more and more resolved around leading. The payoff for me in serving other men to awaken to their own true power is getting to be around other infinitely powerful men. Truth is, as I said, I’m going to need it and I’m going to need them if what I’m seeing in front of me concerning my own yet still to be inhabited power is real.
So my love of you is unconditional, but my want of you is very conditional. I’m asking for more of you because I’m looking for more of me. I can love you from a distance, and even weep a broken heart for you from a distance, but to enter sacred domain together, I need you and I to come together on mutually awakening terms, awakening and attuning to what it is that you really want.
Now, if you are ready for it, there is a bus leaving for the destination of more of what you really want. You may not like this bus, but you need to find one you do like, or drive your own, because all men, and even all species are waiting for you to choose the destination of your more.
No pressure, and all that! 🙂
I love you and I need you and I want you!
We are currently offering a free intro session (to men and women) for those considering entering regular session space with us. If you are interested, let us know and we’ll send you some things we’ll ask you to read and a few questions to respond to, to further help you see if this is or isn’t what is calling you. More details on that are here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
We also have another group call around Sacred Union that Jelelle Awen and I will be leading this coming Saturday and these always are amazing to be a part of. We ask for a minimum donation of 11 USD over paypal, and then we send you the link to join in over Zoom Web Meetings. The details are here:https://www.facebook.com/events/254241058395276/ and we would so love to have you join us.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.