Category: Ascension

What Our Food Cravings Are Inviting Us To Feel

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

Abundance-Food

By Kathleen Calder

Yesterday I came across yet another sign advertising “guilt-free” food options at a local fast-food restaurant. For a moment I felt into the feeling of relief that comes from knowing you’ve just eaten something that was “good for you” instead of what you really wanted to eat. Then, I felt into how cravings can be attributed to our parts and how we can make much better strides to eat in better moderation and portions if we negotiate with them first. That being said, I feel that “guilt-free” eating is actually impossible. Some part of you that was asking for the fries instead of the salad may feel guilty that they even asked for the fries in the first place and will think something is wrong with them since their request was ignored for not being “good enough”.

I’m not saying or even feeling that we should necessarily just give in and have the fries, but I do feel the need to look for another option to satisfy their craving or negotiate with it. You could offer to share fries with your friend or even offer that you will make healthier ones that are just as tasty at home later. Sometimes you do just need to give in though, which could also trigger guilt for the part that asked for the fries when another part comes in to punish it for doing so (it can get quite emotionally violent in there!).

It feels to me that cravings are clues and hold just as much valuable data for getting to know a part as an emotional trigger or reaction from them. For instance a desire for certain foods may come from a desire to feel “loved” and eating that particular food holds that vibration for them somehow, which is definitely something you can work with them to get to the bottom of.

This practice of conscious eating with parts is something I’m working on even as I write this. Both of my young parts know full-well that there is part of a yummy chocolate bar in my desk drawer, just beneath where I am typing this! They know, because I have told them, that we may enjoy a small piece of it after supper as a treat at the end of the day. This makes it a bit easier to ignore the chocolate… for now at least!

The thing that I feel I want to impress on you as an overarching concept here, is that any type of urge or craving, be it for sex, alcohol, shopping or food, need not be quelled with a fear of feeling guilty for indulging, but instead needs to be held, loved and cherished for the clues it holds for getting to know and LOVE yourself on a deeper level. Making a craving or urge “bad” does anything but help us stop doing it. Chances are that even if you do manage to give up a habit, dependency, or “addiction” you will not be able to for long without digging deeply enough to find the reason (and it’s bound to be a very good, very valid one at that) for the “medicine” to have been self -prescribed in the first place.

Also, in SoulFullHeart, we look at the relationship that our parts have to the substance, thing, or person that they’ve been using in a medicative way to numb out or suppress their feelings. In that way, no substance is bad or evil- except maybe toxic or self punishing drugs or food- just that it can be used in an unhealthy way by parts of us.

To our ever-growing love and understanding for ourselves!

Love,

Kathleen

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life.

December 21, 2012: Love-Based Beginning, Not Fear-Based Ending

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

lotus_on_water_0By Jillian Vriend

Today, December 21st, 2012, is a significant day. It’s significant for different reasons, depending on who you are asking about it. Some see it as the end, some see it as the beginning. There have been a growing number of people who felt that today was literally going to be the end of the world as we’ve known it. They have been predicting this primarily due to astronomical factors – including a planet that is supposedly four times the size of Earth entering our atmosphere, a sudden planetary alignment, solar flares, and the earth’s axis shifting around – leading to devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, and floods,

These people connect their reasoning (although it seems that there is no scientific evidence to support them) and intuitions to the completion of the long-count Mayan calendar, although many others now suggest that the calendar completing was not about a literal ending, but symbolizes one cycle or phase ending and a new one beginning. People from around the world are visiting areas in Mexico during this time, especially the Yucatan city of Merida, which is close to the Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza, to celebrate this shift into a new era. They are honoring the ushering in of a more enlightened and conscious phase of human evolution, rather than expecting that the end of an old way of being will bring literal death and destruction.

December 21st is also the first day of winter, the winter solstice, and, most notoriously, the shortest day of the year and the official beginning of the winter season. To me, December 21st begins the seasonal influence of Kuan Yin, one of the four faces of the Divine Mother that we feel offer a powerful healing when connected to in an intimate and personal way. The other faces are the Dark Mother or Kali (springtime); Magdalene (summertime); and Mother Mary (Autumn).

Kuan Yin offers an invitation to stillness, reflection, and meditation in whatever forms your soul (through your Daemon) is most comfortable with. I’ve found the deepest connection with Kuan Yin through taking himalayan salt baths, contemplative prayer, conversation, and SoulFullHeart energy healing offered to myself and others. Kuan Yin invites us to embrace a non-violent means of relating to each other, eating vegetarian (or at least feeling where and how the meat you eat has been treated), merciful compassion with boundaries, and straightforward directness with care. We are all in each moment arising and dissipating, so Kuan Yin also teaches us non-attachment to things which do not matter.

I feel that Her energetic presence is particularly strong and available to us right now because of Her commitment to, as her name represents, to “hear the cries of the world.” In Her deep embodiment of compassion for the needy, we are given a template for the force of care and compassion that is needed to move us out of the dark place we are in as a human species in which so much of our kind is in need and suffering. She reminds us of our connection to each other, in an infinite place of Oneness where individual personality is transcended and the spark of divine humanity that lives in us all is palpable, experiential, and deeply remembered.

So, on this significant day, I choose to celebrate with love, as is offered to me by Kuan Yin and the other faces of the Mother, rather than in a place of feeling fear of eventual devastation and destruction. I do feel that we are in a global phoenix cycle, yet that the changes necessary will come at a rate and pace that we can bear and respond to. In the arms of the Mother, we find comfort, mercy, growth, and care. In Her arms, we experience our most profound essence as sacred human reflections of the Divine.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

Invitation For 2013 And Beyond: The Urgent Need To Awaken Our Emotional Consciousness

Published on by Jelelle Awen3 Comments

By Jillian Vriend

I felt as if I was holding my breath and my heart during the recent short but deadly conflict between Israel and the reigning Hamas government in Gaza.  As many people have offered, it feels that IF the human race is going to experience another world war that the Middle East is the setting most dangerously ripe and ready for it. I felt my usual feelings during any of the wars that have happened during my lifetime: distress, tension, despair, and a deep sorrow that our human consciousness hasn’t been raised enough to end all killing and violence for good, especially killing and violence that happens in the name of God or to defend a religion (even if that’s not the politically stated reason for the conflict.)

I exhaled with relief, as I imagine many others did worldwide, when a cease fire was reached, although I don’t feel that anyone really believes that ending the bombing symbolizes an actual ending to the contention, distrust, and deep disparity that exists between Israel and the Arabs. With both sides seeming to play victim without taking any real responsibility for their actions, the emotional immaturity and deadly density of their need to be right and to “defend themselves and their way of life” will continue to come at the cost of human lives, sanity and peace for their citizens, and be an energetic vacuum of dark energy on the planet (of which there are many others.)

This situation got me more deeply feeling how we are nearing the end of 2012 and about to enter into 2013, a year that has a deep sense of unknown and transition about it. Overall, the state of human consciousness seems to be a dark one (with admittedly some bright spots) that is asking for a deep shift and rebirth into something new. With Mayan prophecies of the world ending in 2012, it does indeed feel as if the world needs to end. Not literally to end, of course, but much of the way that we as humans relate to ourselves, each other, animals, and the planet is deep and crucial need of change.

This is the message that I (and many others who are sensitive to such things) have been feeling is an urgent one that we have been receiving from especially the Divine Mother aspect of God. The Divine Mother may seem to be an unknown or esoteric thing for you, as so much of our orientation toward God has been in a male form with a patriarchal undertone. For those who become conscious of the Mother as a real and moving presence in their lives, there is a sense that it is Her missing energy and influence that has been a deep root cause of many of our problems. The Mother offers us compassion and invites us to feel compassionately about others, even if we chose not to be in relationship with them. This applies both intimately and globally. The Mother invites us to feel our own innocence; how She experiences us as vulnerably her children; and She reflects to us that our essence is one of purity, curiousity, and joy.

Sometimes the Mother, especially in Her Dark Madonna form, presents us with a phoenix cycle, which is a death-rebirth phase that invites us to let go of something that was no longer serving us and arise anew out of the ashes to more deeply inhabit who we were meant to be. I have felt for awhile that the world is going through a sustained phoenix cycle, with all of the tensions, growing pains, and darkness that such a phase requires. I feel that we are being ushered through this cycle in order to arise out of it with awakening hearts, a more compassionate consciousness, and a deeper intimacy with both Her and the Divine Father. Coming from the place I do, this is the frame that I put this invitation into, yet you could put it into any that works for you to get a deeper sense of the loving yet necessary crucible of growth that we are challenged to inhabit.

We cannot continue on as we have; it’s just not a sustainable, long-term picture that works for any human, animal species, or our planet. The Divine Mother holds that what has been brought out of balance must be put right again. Most of us have become desperately out of balance in our relationships, our emotional maturity, our physical health, our ability to provide for ourselves, our connection to nature and animals, etc. etc.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer that the individual awakening and deepening of your own emotional consciousness is the path to becoming someone who is bettering the situation, not adding to or denying the problems. Emotional consciousness is about becoming aware of your reactions, your choices, your feelings, and your relationships through the lens of parts of you that have been previously only subconscious to you. Making these parts and their reactions an aspect of your everyday reality allows for a much deeper experience of life, including an unearthed desire for authentic intimacy with yourself, with others, and with the Divine. I know that this is a big leap initially to understand, but like any shift in thinking, it takes accepting inside of yourself that something needs to change and how you’ve been currently relating to your life hasn’t been creating the change you most deeply desire (or that the planet needs.) The experience of your parts becomes a quickly growing, self validating one and you need the support of a SFH Facilitator through individual sessions and with others during group weekends for it to really ground in.

As your emotional consciousness deepens and especially as you become aware of your Daemon or Soul Guardian, you begin to experience a much more personal relationship with the Divine which requires no doctrine, church, or middle man to inhabit. It is your birthright as a sacred human and it is through the healing of your soul and emotional wounds that allows it to be claimed.

We feel as more and more people awaken to their emotional consciousness through this process of getting to know their parts, the more possibility and hope grows that things really can shift in the bigger world. One heart opening at a time.

Visit www.soulfullheart.com for more information about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and to find out about our new life assessment session offered over in person or over the phone.

A Call For Heart-Based Leadership: Less Game Playing, More Vulnerability

Published on by Kasha Rosa3 Comments

By Kathleen Calder

Of all the battles that I have fought in my life, one that remains constant for me is a drive for leadership and recognition. Even as I write this I am coming from a place of desire to be recognized as some kind of new “leader” in this field called “personal/spiritual development”. It has been a struggle to try to let go of that desire, mostly because my Daemon (protector-part, guide, best friend), Sasha, and another part of me named Steven, hold this desire in their hearts. They want me to do what they cannot physically do themselves. Steven is a great scholar and thinker (who is learning to become more of a feeler as well) and he and Sasha have often conspired and brought me opportunities to “prove myself”. Being a guest author on this blog is one of them and I can feel their growing pride in me whenever someone pays attention to what I have written.

The challenge for me, and I feel the same challenge stands for all who wish to be (or already are) leaders, is to stay humble and grounded. To be able to place myself in the trenches with those who I wish to be a sort of “tribe-leader”…or I guess “Shaman” for. To be able to feel what they feel so that their needs are felt, heard and honoured, whether or not I can physically do anything to help them. Instead what I find myself and other leaders doing, is playing to the masses in a way that doesn’t really touch the real heart of the problem we are facing. It becomes a game of popularity and care-taking instead of feeling into what the real issue is.

Let’s look at the recent US federal election as an example of what I’m talking about.

In one corner we have President Obama and in the other, Republican candidate Mitt Romney. I know from my Canadian perspective that many people in my own country were feeling that Obama was the obvious and more progressive choice. Ok. In comparison to Mitt Romney, who desired to take America back to some old-fashioned ways of doing things, yes, Obama is more “progressive”. However, there’s a reason why the election was so neck-and-neck and why so many people that I spoke to actually had no idea who they would rather vote for since neither seemed to be competent enough in addressing any of the real issues. I feel this is a sign of the times we are in. People’s parts, namely their Daemons, are shifting to a place of, “this isn’t good enough anymore” and are longing for something better. That “something better” is the world I desire to help create. It is a world where leaders learn to feel and embrace sensitivity and therefore tap into what the real issues are for their people. The real pain that is buried underneath their desire for marriage equality or for the legalization of marijuana, just to name a couple of recent news items.

There seems to still be an intense fear of empathy instilled in anyone who wants to lead or manage anything or anybody. I learned the other day that Hilary Clinton once cried on camera and it caused a wide-spread panic and sparked questions about her potential ability to lead. I feel that the new way in which we need to be led in this world is through empathy and heart-based vulnerability. It would be a lot to hold as the leader of a country, so it’s possible that leadership would have no other choice but to be more collaborative in its approach. There would need to be multiple leaders in the highest rung.

I can hear and feel some doubts you may have about the potential for that. You and I both feel the danger of the human ego and its’ desire to be the one in solo-leadership. This is the Daemon and other persona parts who desires this, normally. If leaders were in active communication and feeling with their Daemon and other parts, I feel this would be a manageable issue. It is (and has been for a while) a feeling of mine that the more people who embrace parts work, the greater the potential for World Peace. People would be more comfortable being in authentic emotion with each other and would work out their differences accordingly, taking all the steps necessary to be in empathy with each other and their parts, allowing them to be felt and to speak their minds in safety with no knee-jerk reaction.

I am training to become this type of leader for as many as wish to be nourished by the work and the gifts my parts and I would love to bring to them. I am in training and I do not do this perfectly, nor is it about becoming perfect some day. There is no end-result that I desire, except to become surrounded by more people who have surrendered to this work and have chosen authentic, heart-based feelings and relationships to themselves and others. I wish to become more like this and I work on it every day, even as I write this. It is not burdensome. In fact, it is ultimate freedom.

I hope that at least some of this has landed in you. If it hasn’t, that’s ok too. And if it never does, well, I in my imperfection can find ways to accept that, even though it hurts to feel into what that means to me and my parts that desire for me to lead.

In support and love for your journey and where it takes you,

Kathleen

Visit SoulFullHeart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Healing Process.

What The Legacy of Amanda Todd Invites Us To Feel About Ourselves

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

By Kathleen Calder

There have been many articles circulating around Amanda Todd’s suicide – a catastrophic (and very catalytic) incident that recently received lots of media attention.

To summarize, the story of Amanda Todd is about a teenage girl who was bullied by both men and women, to the point where she could no longer bare it all and in one last outcry for help, posted a video of herself. Here’s the link, if you wish to see it for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej7afkypUsc

I just watched it for the first time and to say that my heart broke for her is a tragic understatement. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand…not try to give her advice or tell her everything would be ok, but to just hold her and let her cry, or scream, or any outburst she needed in the moment. I would have sat with her for hours. I would have turned off my cell phone and bring every part of myself forward to meet her. To coax her own parts out to be felt. To just be with her.

It makes me wonder if she had anybody at all who could have done that for her. It feels as if no one around her knew how to offer her that. Or even worse…that they were afraid to even try.

On a personal note, Amanda’s situation could have easily happened to myself or any of my friends that I had in my pre-teen and teen years. Even when I was in university it could have happened to me. As women we sometimes become so fused with a part(s) of ourselves when a man showers us with “you’re beautiful”-s that the voice and feeling of our real, authentic, self-loving hearts becomes drowned out. Many a compromising situation could be avoided if we didn’t pounce on any ounce of male approval that comes our way.

I’m still working through this, namely with two of my emerged parts, Maria and Karrie. Maria was once known as my “seductress” part, while Karrie represents aspects of my teenaged self. They both have their own ideas and feelings around romance and attraction – how to attract and what they want to attract. I was never taught how to properly be loved by a man and what to look for. My parents themselves did not have a very loving relationship and I can actually count on one hand the number of times I heard “I love you” from my own father. My older sister never had relationships that could model for me either, but how could she when we were both raised with the same relationship model in place?

I feel this may be the root of Amanda’s own parts having caused so many issues with men and making so many poor decisions. Her real, Sovereign (aka SFH) self got lost in the shuffle while her parts called the shots based on what they themselves had been taught. I feel she may have experienced a similar past life to the one I recalled a week ago today, about having been persecuted as a witch a few centuries ago. It seems she may have unconsciously set herself up for similar persecution in this life…and when no one would do the killing for her, she did it herself…still attached to any guilt she may have had in that previous life around her gifts, feeling as if it really was all her fault that things turned out the way they did.

Amanda Todd’s suicide has caused a tidal wave of emotion and a resurgence of “anti-bullying” messages. Her story pushes beyond bullying and enters well into the realm of the relationship between men and women. The story of the “Burning Times”, as the witch-hunts are called, is one that is still present today, though I would argue that it it’s remnants are felt not so much in a literal sense as they are embedded in the female psyche. The majority, if not all of us, were so barbarically persecuted that it left a branding on our souls forever. We unconsciously fear being hunted again and feel guilt for putting our sexuality and our gifts out into the world, reclaiming what is ours, feeling as if it is our own fault if we are persecuted for doing so and we have brought it all on ourselves.

History, even long-buried, will repeat itself again and again until it has been felt through those parts of ours that it remains with. If only Amanda had been given this gift…but you know what? Despite her tragic and heartbreaking story, she has given woman-kind a huge gift herself. She has highlighted the need to repair our relationship with men once and for all.

A pattern must be brought forward and healed. And I for one am jumping on board with all my heart.

Thank you, Amanda.

May you rest and find healing in the arms of the Divine.

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process. Go here for more articles by Kathleen Calder.

Beyond Making The Body Bad: Healing Our Ingrained Inauthenticity

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Wayne

We live in an age when inauthenticity has been deeply ingrained and conditioned in our society and relationships, including the relationship that we have with ourselves. We seek pleasure, but settle for distraction. We hunger for life’s sweetness and nourishment, but settle for the supermarket lies of processed food. We long for passionate engagement in life, and settle instead for a job offering security.

If you are like the old version of me, you rate yourself on how well adjusted and good at coping you are with an enduring lack of fulfillment. You pride yourself on how you don’t lash out at others and how you seek God and character attainments to find your way through life sanely. Or maybe, unlike the old me, (but arguably, a step healthier,) you are angry and pissed, and you don’t try to hide it, but, on the downside, remain stuck there in a frustrated loop of settling.

This managing of our desires instead of embracing them for the lifesaving signposts that they are is at root of so much agony in our lives and society. Where did it come from? How did we get here? What brought us to this mutual buy in on such a wide scale as to call this suppressed state normal? Why do we reward those most well adapted to this strategy?

A bit more of a mental answer is that both science and religion came to an agreement, (underneath all their appearances of being at odds with each other) and that agreement is that the body cannot be trusted; that your body is bad.

Religion’s alarm is that your body ‘fell from grace’ sadly through no choice of your own, but held against you none-the-less, and eternally at that. The alarming message is that the untrustworthiness and evil of your own body, (though originally created by God), now fallen, is that you must not rely on it in any way. The message is that the body’s desires are tainted, sinful, and will only lead to more pain and punishment.

Science presents us with a strangely similar message.  For all of its’ vast knowledge of the human body, science tells us that matter is all there is; no higher purpose; no higher design. None. Not within or without, beyond the mechanics of that body. Only cause and effect. In other words, the body itself possesses no innate loving and guiding wisdom of its’ own. Again, the message is that the body’s desires are not connected to anything loving. Instead, the body’s selfish desires are to be will-powered over and disciplined into submission, lest they leave you deprived of all health.

In other words, the message has been that the world of spirit and matter are two separate worlds. Purposeless and despairing, both science and religion have stripped us of our noble and lofty sovereign state of feeling the blessing of our own bodies.

A more feeling and less mental answer to the question of how did we get here, would be to simply open your heart and look at any body part of yours.

Try your hand, for example. Really look at it, feel it, study it, listen to it. Yes, it has a voice and it can talk to you. Give your hand the gift of your full undivided attention for a few moments. It can tell you what it likes and what it doesn’t. Ask it if it feels like matter and spirit are in fact separate, like it is just a blob, a machine, with no innate wisdom or guidance, or purpose.

What if it is a lie that matter and spirit are not the same? And what if it is this lie that is at the root of both past wounding and present lack of fulfillment in your life? What if it is at root of your inauthentic expression in your life?

Soulfullheart begins with a feeling knowledge of divine goodness of your body and your emotions. And, not off sometime in the future after you’ve resolved a few pressing issues, but now, you can turn to your body’s innate wisdom for guidance on where to go next.

Coming back to loving and honoring our body is a huge step towards seeing more of your authentic self, or what we call your soulfullheart self, express into all the areas of our lives.

Be good to yourself though. You are biting off a big piece, and one thing will lead to another.

This writing was inspired by the thoughtful words and spacious energy of Charles Eisenstein’s The Yoga of Eating: Transcending Diets and Dogma to Nourish the Natural Self.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process and here for more articles about the body.

The Body Beautiful: A SoulFullHeart Way Of Relating To Your Body

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jillian Vriend

It’s not about powering your way through to finally be healthy; it’s about feeling your way through to finally be healed.

​The human body is the vehicle for our Soulfullheart expression, therefore it is meant to be cared for and nourished. It is meant to experience and express sexuality with a committed, loving, monogamous bond offering the most healthy opportunity for this expression. Rather than transcending the body as not being “spiritual” or judging the body’s needs as “sinful”, Soulfullheart embraces and honors the body and it’s needs as being sacred and a reflection of the Divine in human form.

​”Diet” in greek means, “way of living.” Soulfullheart advocates for a balanced way of living related to food that is rich with vegetables, fruits, other superfoods, sustainably raised proteins (or vegetarian), vitamin supplements, and whole wheat grains. Processed foods, refined sugar, high quantities of salt, and “concentration camp” raised meats don’t provide the nutrients and energy that your SoulFullheart body needs and wants. Soulfullheart also recommends regular exercise, including cardio, hiking, running or fast walking, resistance training, etc. A healthy way of living is about feeling what your body really needs to thrive and maintain a healthy body weight, versus providing what a part of you craves and needs as a medication to numb out your feelings.

​If you struggle to care for your body and maintain a healthy weight, there is an emotional and/or spiritual wound at the root cause of your struggle. Rather than focusing on just “changing your exercise and eating habits,” the SoulFullHeart process invites you to feel parts of yourself and how they relate to food, your sexuality, your physical appearance, your desirability, etc. It’s not about powering your way through to finally be healthy; it’s about feeling your way through to finally be healed. Sometimes weight gains and fluctuations are a necessary part of the phase you may be in, especially if you are focusing strongly on your emotional healing process. You just may not have the “energy” to exercise or focus intently on what you are eating. SoulFullheart offers to be self-loving with yourself as you move through these phases, even as it offers the perspective that your body’s health mirrors your emotional health.

​Physical illness in the body has many layers of cause beyond what the medical profession acknowledges. While you may need to continue a medication longer term, Soulfullheart offers that as you heal your emotional and spiritual wounds, your need for the medication decreases and may disappear all together. Emotional wounding and spiritual wounds held in your energy body or chakras contribute greatly to your physical health. In Soulfullheart, we provide chakra clearing and balancing, in addition to removing toxic objects and codependent cords that may be stuck in your aura and energy bodies, as a catalytic part of your process. This would be done after you have felt and processed emotionally around your physical issues first and negotiated with your parts, so that the energy work has a chance of lasting because you can subconsciously accept it. Just doing energy healing doesn’t address the deeper emotional wounds causing the illness or physical issues.

​As an example, a SFH client who has suffered with asthma since she was a little girl was asked what she felt emotionally was going on that caused the asthma beyond the physical reasons. Her answer was that is how part of her reacted to stress, to not being heard and seen, to not being respected, and to being told what to do by others in a way that didn’t honor her own desires. I asked her if this is how she experienced herself being treated as a child and she said yes. She can now negotiate and feel this with the part of her “stuck” in this childhood wounded reaction and provide her a loving, SoulFullHeart parent presence which will see, hear, honor, and not tell this part of her what to do without taking her needs into consideration. This should greatly dissipate her asthma symptoms.

​I’ve also encouraged this client to someday journal directly with the voice of her asthma to find out what it was trying to tell her and feel with her. We’ve offered this assignment to another client who was having pain and mobility issues with her right arm, which is the masculine side of our bodies. This client wrote to her right arm telling it that she frustrated at not being able to work and wanted to feel what was going on with it. Her arm pain was then connected to a young inner child female part of her who wanted attention and felt that making her arm hurt was the only way to get it. Her arm pain is lessening and recovering as she’s now being with and feeling this young part.

​I spent over five years in the medical field, half of that time as a nurse in a radiation oncology department. I was fascinated by the biology and physiology of the human body (all those systems and cells automatically and without our conscious involvement working together), plus I was drawn to working with people in a nurturing capacity. As I talk about in my story, I eventually felt very frustrated with traditional medicine’s approach to treatment, which doesn’t acknowledge the emotional, spiritual, and energetic causes of illness and benefits of healing in these areas. Also, the emotional needs of the patients were not addressed, with each patient becoming their illness, as in “she’s a breast cancer, stage four”, rather than felt as a heart and soul being going through an intense journey. I feel how the experience in traditional medicine woke me up to my healing capacities, and yet I’m also grateful to have a deeper, less myopic, and more holistic view on body illnesses now that acknowledges the emotional and spiritual causes. A very touching book that I’ve read that explores the emotional and spiritual aspects of cancer is Grace and Grit by Treya Wilber, Ken Wilber’s late wife.

​My commitment to  emotional healing over the last ten years has directly manifested in my physical health with greatly decreased skin breakouts, steadier weight, higher energy and fitness level, increased orgasmic capacity, and overall more youthful appearance. Also, I haven’t had a cold or illness in over two years. Wayne talks about his recent journey with emotional conscious weight loss (close to 30 pounds in less than three months!) in this blog entry. Soulfullheart offers that linking our body realities of weight, health, and stamina levels to our emotional and spiritual health allows us more possibilities of balancing our way of living related to our bodies and of truly healing and transforming our physical health. Our bodies are truly temples; their form holding our sacred humanity. Worship at yours and you’ll experience the gifts.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

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Emotionally Conscious Weight Loss

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Wayne Vriend

Never has there been better weight loss information than what is currently coming to light about how our bodies relate to food and exercise; about the depletion of nutrients in our food supply; and about how obesity rates are rising in our society.

Why is it that at the same time as we are getting more help with the situation, that the problem keeps getting bigger, slowly, but surely, like an expanding waistline?

Most people have been advised, (rather unfeelingly, I would add) that you need to think positively if you are going to conquer your weight problem; that if you look, sound, and feel hopeless, you are most likely going to stay that way.

So then if thinking positive is the key to getting in control of one’s way of life in relation to food and exercise, then why is that approach such a dismal failure? Do negative people prefer being negative?

It is only when we consider our emotional body that we gain some insights into these questions. By ‘Emotional Body,’ I mean who you are as an emotional being and how we emotionally feel about our life. Changing our eating habits to more alive foods and letting go of habits and foods that are actually a form of slow self suicide, has all to do with self love. Our inability to let in love is getting much closer to the real issue underlying our weight struggle.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer that you have way more to your emotional body than you have acknowledged. Sure, part of you wants to lose weight, but have you ever considered or felt the part of you that feels safe or comforted by being overweight? This part of you wants to, ‘leave the weight right where it is thank you, and take all your self righteous health crap out of my face!’

You are left being at war with yourself; with the part of you who wants to lose weight and is trying to gain power over the part of you who wants to keep things the same.

It is only by getting to know both of these parts of yourself intimately that real and lasting and wholesome change can be let in to your life. Letting in is very different than powering through.  If part of you is strong enough to pave over the part of you addicted to crap food, is that really the kind of healing you are after?

Recently, I got to the place where it feels like the tide had finally turned in my own life. Despite good health and a physical line of work, I have gained around 10 pounds each decade or so of adulthood to where, at 51 years old, I was 35 pounds over my ideal weight, actually in the obese category.

Then, 3 months ago a friend invited me to be his guest for an afternoon hot tub and sauna at the local gym. The front desk staff put all ‘guests’ through a few minutes of sales intro and a tour of the facility, and before it was complete, I surprised myself and signed up for a years’ membership. Something in me said ‘go for it.’ I signed up for sessions with a personal trainer as well.

The sessions were intense, but also helpful in terms of engaging in a real workout. I don’t recall ever sweating so intensely. I was amazed by the simplicity and the intensity of the simple exercises, several of them using only body weight, and others only simple equipment. An exercise ball, a few dumbbells, a bench. The trainer helped me also assess my food habits and make suggestions.

I’ve lost over 25 pounds in just under 3 months, have gained a noticeable change to my muscle mass, and I feel quite different about my body and well being. I’m looking forward to reaching my goal weight, conditioning and deepening vitality.

The amazing thing is that it has been relatively easy and fun. While it has taken the necessary time commitment and changing eating habits, I’ve found doing all of that desirable instead of a drudgery and sacrifice. I’m not feeling deprived.

I recall being in a gym membership a few years prior where I struggled to get engaged and find a rhythm and exercise routine that opened out for me, and eventually it all fell by the wayside (as it does for so many other people). Now, instead, I found the whole experience with getting in shape motivated by a conscious self love that wanted to learn about healthier habits and food choices, and then in turn wanted to give myself those gifts. I found myself naturally enjoying letting go, one at a time, of foods that don’t enliven me.

So what made the difference this time around?

By engaging in the kind of work that Soulfullheart offers, I have gotten to know the more hidden parts of me, the wounded parts of me who sought and needed the comforts of my old lifestyle habits and the weight blanket around my body.  What’s more, I’ve been able to show up for the needs of these parts of me and that brings change on a much deeper level.

It’s interesting the root meaning of the word diet is ‘way of life.’ The foods we eat are very deeply about our way of life. Who we presently are as emotional beings is also most deeply about our way of life.

Your ‘way of life’ is a sacred journey in this life and it has taken you to where you are now, including your struggles with weight and food. Each habit you’ve been given to and each pound of weight gain is also a part of this sacred journey. It’s not less sacred because part of you doesn’t like the downside of it. Because you are a sacred being on a sacred journey, the good news is that, it’s all sacred; your choices, your weight gain and loss, your health decline and improvement.

These are all gifts to you this life that you ultimately control the direction of, but the path there involves getting to know and embrace yourself in a way that you haven’t known up until now.

I want to offer to you the Soulfullheart path to getting to know yourself in a much more intimate way than you’ve ever imagined, including finding who you were meant to be on a physical level just naturally arising as part of the healing.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

The Tar Sands – Dirty oil and the future of a continent

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Wayne Vriend

I’m reading, “The Tar Sands – Dirty oil and the future of a continent,” by Andrew Nikiforuk. This book is a prophet’s call in our time…convincing, damning, and a wonder the author’s voice hasn’t been silenced.

I am shocked at how compelling greed and falseness is through and through our systems of government and business. Where have true leaders gone? Gone they are, we are a ship without a rudder, about to be hurled on the rocks of our own folly. Hopefully to some soft landing that saves us from ourselves.

The shocks come in waves; the shock of the living conditions in Fort McMurray, Alberta, the main town at the heart of the Tar Sands; the shock of the working conditions, the shock of the inflated wages and stunning cost overruns, the shock of the estimated 40% of workers high on cocaine and other drugs just to cope; the shock of the environmental protections agencies standard rubber stamp report of ‘no significant damage’ to the environmental impact study question at hand.

You have to be immune not to shocked by what you read about and feel in these pages.

The shock goes deeper however, than a ‘us vs. them’ kind of reaction. The shock goes into our collective addiction to cheap oil that has fuelled (pun intended) this reality. This is something we have co created as an industrial society and it is something we must together uncreate. It doesn’t seem however on the surface at least that there is much evident collective will to reverse this mammoth race to more and more raping of the earth, and plundering everything in our path for a feeling of security. But this is where mother earth will hopefully come to the rescue to save us from ourselves before it’s too late.

Scary too is our current Canadian government’s evangelical christian leanings that hold that the earth is soon to be burned up by God himself and a new heaven and a new earth popped in it’s place. And it’s belief that people who get worked up about saving the planet just don’t get that the far more important job is saving one’s soul from eternal torment in hell. This, of course, can’t be outright admitted, but look at the environmental track record and our recent pull out of the Kyoto accord. Something much bigger than just a political persuasion is at work here.

God’s kingdom is coming to Canada, and it’s a boom for the tar sands, like it or not. But the huge cost and devastating environmental impact can’t be underestimated.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.

Petropolis: Stopping The Tar Sands

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Every Canadian…every consumer of gas, should watch Petropolis, a film from Green Peace that offers a stunning aerial perspective on the Alberta tar sands. There’s very little narration as miles and miles of scarred, gouged, poisoned, and stripped land are juxtaposed against pristine and breathtakingly beautiful images of the still untouched acres of the Boreal Forest.

The abuses of our land, of our planet, so poignantly demonstrate how we are out of balance as a species- expressing our male shadow side…..achievement-based, short-sighted, dominating, and greedy….following urges and unchecked impulses in masochistic and saddistic ways without feeling compassion, remorse, or the bigger context of the impact it has on our world and the world our children will inherit from us.

While watching this film, I often gasped, near tears, “How can we let this happen to our earth?”, shocked by the destruction and devastation depicted in the images. Wayne replied (also disgusted but less shocked because he had seen these tar sand images before), “Out of sight is out of mind for most people. Remember too that the Tar Sands are a really lucrative industry for Canada.”

This film puts what is out of sight into the mind and, hopefully, into the heart and into the awakening consciousness happening around the world. Yes the demand is there for fossil fuels and it can be answered this way…but at what long-term cost for such temporary gain?

Information below is from the film’s website about the dangerous effects of this relatively new and expensive (the cost much beyond a financial one) means of meeting the world’s demands for and ever decreasing supplies of oil:

Located beneath 4.3 million hectares of boreal forest in Alberta, Canada, the tar sands are a mixture of sand, clay and a heavy crude oil called bitumen that is either mined in open pits or extracted from underground by injecting superheated water.

Getting the oil out of the tar sands uses roughly three barrels of water per barrel of oil, or as much water as a city of two million people. After use in tar sands processing, 90 per cent of this water is so contaminated with toxic chemicals that it must be stored in tailings ponds so huge that they can be seen from outer space.

Tar sands oil production releases five times more greenhouse gases than conventional oil production. Tar sands projects will release an estimated 40 million tonnes of CO2 equivalent in 2007 and ensure that Canada will continue to be one of the worst greenhouse gas emitters per capita in the world. – From Petropolis

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.