Invitation To Heal Metasoul ‘Battle’ Legacies On ‘Human Rights Day’

by Kalayna Colibri

women's rights

This morning I felt a desire to feel into what’s sparking up today in the collective. It turns out that today is ‘International Human Rights Day’. A day that holds celebratory energy yet despair too and is the mark of many ‘battles’ from different groups of humans… some still happening today, yet all still happening in the Now as time is not linear… fires, started up and fuelled by separation wounding, starting within and flowing outward, affecting us all and affecting our love flow together.

The meaning of what it is to be ‘human’ has shifted so much over the ‘centuries’ and timelines…. which are actually still very active today, in this Now, and aren’t in the ‘past’ at all. Parts of us and especially Metasoul Aspects feel different events and situations that appear in our linear sense of history, happening in the Now… as time is not now, nor ever really was linear, except for in our 3D sense of reality that we have needed to be in up ’til Now.

The ‘powers that be’ (mostly political and very Archonic/Reptillian feeling to me, at least for the most part) have deemed this race or that gender ‘human’ and granted rights for things like voting and participation in politics, rights to get married, rights to have clean and drinkable water, rights to renewable energy, rights to religion and worship, rights to ‘freedom’ in general. All of this seems to still be argued about, debated about. So much arguing, so many reasons to confirm or deny or acknowledge and especially to feel… to empathize, which is so much more than sympathize. This has been so challenging, as on some level of our being, in different parts and soul aspects of us, we can feel the ways in which we are all a reflection of each other’s pain, wounded motivations and self-punishment, yet desires and soul and heart gifts too. Even after all these ‘years’ of charged events and situations, so much is still in upheaval and so much is still holding up a powerful mirror along with a perpetually pregnant invitation to keep going inward, to feel the origination of all of this turmoil that still rages within, though perhaps the inner battlegrounds have mostly be shrouded in shadow, and even covered over by the coveted elevation into 5D and beyond, with parts and soul aspects of us wanting to ‘just be passed this already’.

When I really feel my own humanity today, I feel how conditioned parts of me have been to project their reality outward. In a sense, it feels like we are all walking projectors. We are all able to create or dismantle our outer realities, based on our inner reality and what is rumbling inside parts and Metasoul Aspects of us. A few months ago, I felt a Metasoul Sister of mine named ‘Meg’. Meg was a Suffragette in her timeline in England. She somehow rose up to become a sort of micro-leader (under a much bigger and elusive leader of the Suffragette movement who they didn’t see very often for she was in hiding and had to be discreet), for a large group of women of mixed ages. The outrage boiled over to the point of burning down government buildings or at least attempting to. Explosives and other weapons were something that Meg learned how to use and taught and led other women to use them too. Together they rallied and fought. Were arrested and released. The suppression and repression of women were not relieved though and were mostly intensified by their efforts. Eventually, yes, they did ‘win’ the vote and a place in the political sphere, yet with so much turmoil, bloodshed, tears and incredible pain inflicted not only on others but on themselves. Their pain was acted out from, thrust outward like a sword. So many of us and parts of us can relate to this, especially after having been wronged in some way, abused, victimized, which is understandable, especially given the lack of templating for how to do and BE something different than this in our 3D sense of reality. The biggest, deepest movement I’ve had with this Metasoul Aspect came during a SoulFullHeart group day, where she could come up and be felt by the tender yet strong and somehow NOT warrior-like feminine heart in Jelelle Awen and the open, healing, and trustworthy hearts in Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen as male witnesses to her plight. The sweet tears of Raianna Shai were there for her too and they could feel a shared Metasoul timeline of sisterhood, which was sweet and heart-opening to let in. She was moved into feeling how the needs of the women could have been brought with spine and vulnerability, both. Without battles and with much more trust. They allowed a seed to be planted in their consciousness, that fighting as the men were doing or seemed to be doing, was the only way to meet them as equals and prove their worth as human women. Yet, Meg could feel and is feeling with me now as I write this with her in my heart, that they were actually being invited to lead something different than this, from a place deep within, rooted in a genuine expression of Yin power and self-leadership which feels so different than outward expressions of OUTrage and warriorship.

In all of our attempts to garner more ‘human rights’, we often forget that the true heart of a human being, and especially that of a Sacred Human as we are invited to keep embodying and healing to more and more, is collaborative, empathic, feeling, and somehow inherently trusting. We have needed to forget this for a time in order to remember it again in fullness and contrast to how we’ve felt and held our power or powerlessness so far. To truly listen to each other, feel each other’s needs in overflow from feeling our own… this is the ongoing invitation from and with Love. It may seem idealistic and honestly, to my Meg, it felt like this at first. Yet the more we go inward, especially with feeling parts of us and Metasoul Aspects too, the more we realize that this doesn’t have to remain an ideal and that the peace we all so want to experience and be a part of in our deepest Sacred Human hearts, has to start within, and this is the only place where we can control whether or not we experience it in this and any timeline. And, once this process has begun, the fictional story of the need to take away anyone’s ‘rights’, human or animal, becomes obsolete, dissipates and eventually dissolves completely as the Golden Earth/New Gaia we are waiting and working for, is then allowed to arise out of our hearts in an organic fashion as it is meant to, instead of fought or battled for as this necessary phase of the illusion of separation has conditioned parts of us to feel is the only way to get, to earn, to create what we really desire to experience and feel worthy of.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

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Serving Love From Your Human Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

Theif of Hearts by Diana Maus

Mosaic: Thief Of Hearts by Diana Maus

You cannot serve love with the back of your hand.

And the palm facing upward must be full yet open, strong yet loose.

You cannot serve love with clouded lungs.

And the breath opening wide must come from the heart.

You cannot serve love with an uncurious heart.

And the curious heart must first be curious about itself.

~

It’s important to remember that in all there is a reflection. There is a reflection from the collective to the self, and back again. There is a backless window of seeing that is possible, if the threads are pulled back inside. To be able to vibe in with your own parts and soul aspects, 3D and well beyond, there is much information that can be gleaned, and much courage that can be mustered for the next steps… of letting go, letting in, or letting be.

The mutli-dimensional gifts within, are the ones belonging and springing from your human heart too. Your ability to feel is like none other yet witnessed in this galaxy and perhaps beyond too. Your ability to take in, even unconsciously, and have life flow through you is awe-inspiring for those in the ethers and the stars. It is time to be in wonder about yourself too, as they wonder at you. They template much for how to be in multiple dimensions at once, yet not from a human form, that offers more than it takes away. We have needed this dimension, this springboard so we can build all of the strength of heart necessary to continue moving upward, bringing it all with us, integrating all we have learned, all we have been given through growth phases and edges. Our consciousness is one of forgetfulness perhaps more so than remembering at this point… yet remembering we are, and through our hearts not our minds. Experiences offer us this in many ways, and all of the fires and healing waters we walk through are part of the great mosaic of all we are taking with us in this great circle of the service of love that IS us as much as it is offered by us.

There’s more here for us now than parts of us have been willing to believe, for the pain of not having it consciously can be too much for them to bear. Every bit of feeling that we don’t or won’t is the ticket to letting in that MORE and feeling it as a sacred human being arising… with curiosity, wonder, and awe.


 

 ❤ Gabriel Heartman and I will be talking about this healing path and way of life called SoulFullHeart and answering your questions, LIVE on Facebook and Youtube this Saturday: https://www.facebook.com/events/1508742299214244/ 

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Desire For Love Underneath It All

by Kalayna Colibri

Lantern

 

Beneath the desire to predict, to plan for, to kNOw ‘what’s next’… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shadowy figures of men and women at the helm of leadership, who desire battles, who embody tremendous self-righteousness, who abuse and accuse others… is the desire for love.

Beneath the shut-outs, the push-aways, the cling-to-forevers…. is a desire for love.

Beneath your resistance to love, as expressed outwardly and inwardly, in words, in energy, in self-harm, in harm of others… is a desire for love.

And in that desire, all of the answers to questions of ‘why’ can be illuminated. And so much more can be felt, heard, seen, healed… loved.

~

It often feels as if the 3D world really doesn’t want love. Some might even say outright that they don’t want love, claiming that love really isn’t the answer, or that love is only for the fortunate. Deep unworthiness to receive and let in love in the truest, deepest sense, is surfacing more and more now. There is deep unworthiness in our leaders. Deep unworthiness in fear and war-mongering. Deep unworthiness, pain, sadness, woundedness, in our patriarchal expressions as men and women, in relationships, in ourselves, at work, at home, out in the world. In all ‘fights’ we choose to instigate or be a part of in some way, we are expressing resistance to love… and where love wants to move us, what it wants to illuminate for us, what it wants to remind us that we ALL are… LOVE, embodied, ever-present.

Sometimes love is even resisted with love… it is resisted in the sense of what it wants to bring you about your wounding, which can sometimes be most easily found by going into your shadow. It is resisted by the ‘twin flame’ picture, that offers more suffering than goodness, more clinging than letting go. It is resisted in all of the ways parts of you would rather not feel. Love cannot transform or move you to new heights unless a certain facade is allowed to be cracked.

The 3D world wants love, yet is afraid of what love really is. A catalyst, a river, a cliff, a flashlight in the dark, a path less travelled or never travelled before… and an end to the depths of human suffering, starting within.

My beloveds and I offer a process of becoming reacquainted with love in a real sense of it… feeling parts of you that are resistant to truly letting it in and letting it move you in a new direction. If this appeals to you, you can read more about the process here: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Also, Gabriel Heartman and Raphael Awen will be hosting a live stream on Facebook and Youtube this coming Sunday, where they will talk more about this process and way of life. You can go here for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529926353733589

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Love’s Invitation To Teach What We Embody, Not What We ‘Know’

by Kalayna Colibri

love-heart-light-in-hand

 

So many ideas float around inside of me sometimes, so many directions to take my writing in, many life observations, spiritual and heart-based learnings, sometimes even metaphysical concepts that can be and feel quite complex and slightly (if not VERY) out of reach of my consciousness level. A desire to discuss this or that in a post, see where it lands, and yet then, I feel the mental exercise this can be and the juice for the writing soon peters out for me. In these moments, I feel an invitation to keep feeling… to trust that some things I’m learning now I will unlearn too and that there really is no ‘absolute answer’ for my mind to wrap around, try as it might. Sometimes the only answer is to ‘keep going’… to keep embodying, keep living, keep loving, keep diving in head and heart first and see where the mess leads.

Sometimes when I write something, I feel such a desire for it to ‘go out THERE’, land in hearts, move others, maybe even bring back to me more reflections of the love that I am and that I feel more and more openly. Then sometimes, when I write something, I realize that the main reason for the writing is actually to show something to myself, from myself… to ‘me’, from everything that makes up the mosaic of ‘me’, as I am now, as I may be in a moment yet to come, as I may feel inside of parts of me who need something more from me. To share from anything but a full vessel is to share perhaps only more of the emptiness in some ways, yet it’s all good and does harm to none, as long as it comes from a consciously healing heart that can hold reflections of its own shadow and light, both.

Maybe it’s time to no longer ‘teach what you know’, but ‘teach what you embody’… this is a phase I have been moving more and more into over the years of my process, and as I continue to feel my heart and what it actually wants, I feel less attached to ‘knowing’ at all. There are moments of frustration in this for parts of me as they grapple with this burgeoning reality of being more relaxed in the head and more lit up in the heart and soul. There is a healthy bridge here, and that’s what it feels like I am being now as I share this moment with you and with me too. I feel the challenge of a woman in spirituality who faces the more masculinized approach to metaphysics, trying to ‘figure it all out’ in a way that maybe I’m just not meant to. I’ve never taken to spiritual study in a way that others have, preferring actually to experience instead. This is landing deeper inside of me now, despite protests from parts that worry about self-image and credibility… yet this world of spirituality feels inundated with this data and that data and watch out for this and never do that, think that, be that… this whole realm has become fraught with self-punishment fueled existences that are actually begging for the permission to NOT be this anymore, to NOT feel the pressure to prove or contend. I so feel this in myself and I invite you to feel this too, as well as any reactions you may feel to doing so… I so get and feel these reactions too and I trust deeply that there is another side to them.

And then, in moments like these, I feel an outbreath… as I let in that this is what needed the floor today, trusting that it will land where it needs to and that at the end of the day, all teachings of all kinds go where they’re needed and necessary, reaching the consciousnesses that are on deck to receive them, and that as all of our hearts continue opening, there is only going to be MORE love to teach, live, learn and give from. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Aging UP: Entering A New Life And LOVE Phase On My ‘Birthday’

by Kalayna Colibri

Shiloh Sophia Queen of Her Own Heart.jpg

This painting is by Shiloh Sophia

I turn ’30’ tomorrow. A surreal feeling, as age and time have felt less and less important and real to me, except for those phases when it has to somehow. There are still some really important life phases and experiences that seem to happen mostly during certain ages or decades of our lives, so sometimes it IS important to acknowledge ‘age’ though I feel looser and looser about it, especially for myself.

I think I spent most of my ’20’s’ looking forward to turning ’30’. My 20’s felt awkward and strange at times. So much more self-discovery and remembrance happened during this ‘decade’ of my life than in my teenage years, though so much got started then too. Many phases of letting go, learning to let in, surrendering, hoping, wishing, losing sight of magic and wonder and then rediscovering it again, loving a man, moving through relationships, learning to love humanity again even when parts didn’t want to… this is just a taste of where I chose to go, venturing into shadow and light both and facing sometimes very, very humbling mirrors.

The ups and downs were palpable and as I reflect on them, my god, they were all so worth it to bring me HERE to this NEW place inside me that is more compassionate, more overflowing with love, more desirous of mateship inside and outside of me, more desirous to FEEL and HEAL whatever I need to no matter how challenging, and more willing to step into my destined leadership, starting within and moving without. My heart wants to BE and experience feminine stillness and also experience heart-based, vulnerable, transparent leadership happening more and more from inside of me, to serve and BE love, even when boundaries are necessary and conflicts may arise for one reason or another, all in the name of growth and letting in more and more and MORE with less and less shrinking or hiding or cloaking from parts of me who are fused to fear.

Rolling around with a part of me through reactions to ALL of this arising inside me took the place of sleep most of the night last night. In some ways it was the reactions that kept me up and yet it was also new energies coming in, or so it feels like to me now as I reflect on and feel into this all some more. I’m getting ready and being filled up and at the same time being flushed OUT. This morning has been mostly restful for me, despite any ‘plans’ I thought I had… I feel as if I’m trying to expand my container for letting in LOVE and letting it move through me in conscious transaction and relationship with others. There is so much juice coming in now, being offered to all of us actually. This juice can’t come in without us being juiced first! It can feel like a squeeze at times, as reactions surface and sometimes feel overwhelming and hard to track. Sometimes it feels to me like all I can do is surf it all and trust that as I’m feeling it, it’s also moving, and that there’s  a fast track happening. I’m ON the train now, and it’s moving faster and faster.

As I enter this new ‘age’ of my life, it feels inaugural… I feel how much my inner Queen is arising now. She is waiting to be crowned at an official coronation, held inside me with guides and so, so much love. She is who I’ve been waiting and WORKING for, processing for, healing for. She is who gets to lead in my life now, more and more, as my healing continues and my persona parts of me continue to rest. She is the one ascending to her heart throne while also ascending to the throne built for her in the Universe, joining other Kings and Queens that are also showing up there more and more, leading humanity consciously and subconsciously through this phase of ascending with Gaia. She IS Mother Gaia, as we all are. She IS you just as she IS me and she also is a bridge, a platform, a ship, a rocket, a star and light BEing and leader. She is feeling her purity of heart come forward again at deeper and deeper depths as all I’ve healed and am healing helps to create her crown of jewels atop her head. She is my leader, my healer, my LOVEr living inside my heart and soul. And she is waiting along with me, helping me make room for a King to come and dance with her energy in sacred union, sacred sexuality, sacred and conscious duality, and sacred humanity.

As I find my rebirth into this new universe, I feel this birth canal that she is being pushed through by love and desire. She is responding already to what is coming and what is being asked of me and of her. We won’t be perfect together, yet there is no need for that. Many different birth canals await and that’s okay too, for the need for mess in order to grow is not foreign to me! Yet there is also harvest coming and feasts of celebration inside of myself and with others too. AND I look forward to welcoming more of ALL of our inner inter-galactic, inter-dimensional royalty, as we all reemerge and reunite in this way.

From my Queen to yours, or perhaps your King if you’re a man, thank you for being a part of what has created my journey so far. You have taught me and continue to teach me more than you could maybe be aware of really and I feel you… I honour you. I love you.

In arising and ever-flowing love,

Queen Kalayna ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Beauty Of Our Messes: Living Life From The Heart

by Kalayna Colibri

dirtyheart1

Gosh, claiming someone or something can feel like a big leap of faith. It is an agreement to fall in love. It can get to a point where even claiming the next step of the staircase can feel like a lot, like you and your parts know somehow that life as you’ve/they’ve known it is about to change. Some of us are more cautious than others. Some of us dive in head, heart or soul first, no matter the circumstance. There could be a balance here, and yet the whole point, it feels like, is to allow yourself to be ‘out’ of balance. To let something or someone new that’s arising in your life tip you completely sideways and add some new wonder to every fiber of your existence, known or unknown. Parts of us have all sorts of reactions to this and it’s important to feel every one as it arises, paving nothing over, and yet the messiness of it all, even feeling in hindsight what was buried, IS the point! Sometimes our growth edges cannot be planned or deliberately planted, yet stumbled upon. And sometimes this is the only way to find them.

As children, getting messy was easy! It was the way we learned to communicate, the way we learned to play, the way we learned how to BE with others and also with things. We shed tears over broken bones and toys and friendship bonds. Sadly too we also learned how to punish ourselves from the inside and as we learned what was ‘wrong’ and what was ‘right’ we also learned how to judge others for whether or not they followed the ‘rules’ as we learned them. Parts of us or subpersonalities began to form around these traumas, identities and ways of ‘seeing’ ourselves started to develop. We stopped being willing to get messy, sooner or later, for the consequences, which no one could feel us in at the time or offer us heart-centered guidance through, soon became things to avoid, avoid, avoid… it feels like this is when we learned how to stop falling in love, falling on our faces or bums or even our hearts when necessary, whether over a person or a butterfly or puppy, or a flower we just really wanted to run to in order to take it in deeper! We wanted to play, we wanted to learn how to fly, we wanted to experience the whole world with every sense alive in us. AND none of us were born judges or critics or even fanatics… we just WERE.

Our worlds of discovery, uncovering all we wanted to, became answered by knowledge. So many of us eventually began a path of seeking and spirituality in order to find magic in life again, and yet even this has become a place of only seeking knowledge and not actual experience. Not the same experience that falling into and sometimes on top of your heart can offer. It’s not the same as the inherent sense of spirituality we were BORN with, that got snuffed out because we had to go through phases of this. It’s been a tough road of remembrance and so it continues to be sometimes, but this innocence, this heart-centered love of everything, is still there. The healing, the difficulties, the FEELING is all worth it to find this place inside the inside of us again. We are constantly being invited back inward, back to that place where the magic has always been. We can’t return fully to that place where we were as kids, and yet we wouldn’t want to, for all that we’ve gleaned from our life experience has been a gift that’s meant to integrate with this child within, hold it and treasure it too. As we claim each piece of who we are, who we want to be, who we want to be WITH, we find our way back to the pure love we came from, bringing our full treasure chest with us that we always wanted to find as children but needed life to bring it to us.

A childlike claim of the love of discovery, of life, of love itself… the claim of another in romance, the claim of ourselves in pursuit of our deepest healing and experience of self love and reverence and worth… this is all within us and the more we allow in the possibilities of mess but still go IN, the more we seem to grow and the greater our depths of soul and heart seem to BE.

With each firewalk we endure, we find our power again, and realize we never lost it but it was our power that chose it in the first place. With each step into the wilderness, we find that getting lost only means being found in a new way. With each garden bed we till, we make friends with the bugs and learn to love the dirt under our fingernails. And with each fresh beat of our excited hearts, we learn yet again, that even the roughest seas bring us back to the shores of love and the light we’ve always had within. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Letting In Arising Feminine Leadership, Letting Go Into The Unknown

by Kalayna Colibri

 

photo 2 (2)

 

Didn’t take in many light codes today, at least not deliberately, yet the brief visit I had with the sun late this afternoon DID offer me much for what’s moving through me now… powerful frequencies of Divine Father, sacred masculinity penetrating and offering support for my ongoing birth into whatever arising leadership is now unfolding in my life, coming straight up and out from inside me as I continue to heal and serve love too, without construction of a self image around it and just allowing it to arise and arise. I feel how the sun offers this to so many of us right now, whenever we are ready to let it in and bake in it. 

As tears briefly surfaced and fell as I let in this love and support, I felt love and appreciation for where I’ve been and where I have yet to go. Many humbling moments of realization today, especially as I soon reach my ’30th’ ‘birthday’. What life phases will I be heading into? Will they look or feel or BE anything like what others have passed through? It doesn’t feel likely… and in fact, there is something SO different being offered to every single one of us, if we can begin to let that in. Ascension with Gaia may only be one part of that picture of why things will be different and actually ARE different already…

At the end of the ‘day’… I don’t know what’s next, I can’t know what’s next, and I don’t really want to know either. Do any of us, really, except maybe for those parts of us that are yet still afraid to let go and surrender to so much unknown? Life continues to humble us and offer us Infinite Possibilities and it so feels like our power-filled choice whether or not we choose to be with that or swim upstream in spite of it…

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Humility Of Really Feeling Our Emotions: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-1783913_960_720

There’s a certain amount of sanctity and sanity we preserve by NOT feeling, at least until the layers on top of our true feelings begin to give way and dissolve because of pressing life circumstances and swelling emotional reactions – THEN it can become insane-feeling, as chaos is created outside of us, pushing these feelings up even more as they call out for our attention. This is true for ANY soul ANYwhere. The piece here for Indigos, Crystals and Rainbows is much the same as for any awakening soul and heart – NOT feeling how we really feel becomes the much crazier choice than actually letting ourselves in. Yet too, there is something here that may be time-bomb-baked inside of us when we are in these soul groups, alerting us to this need for changes INSIDE of us at a much younger age because we are here to do so much work as leaders and healers.

I don’t hold any elitist sort of feeling around claiming I’m an Indigo. I actually feel it kind of lightly. For me it feels like a bridge and also a helpful explanation as to why I care so much about my growth and living into my soul purpose when I’m only just turning 30 this year. I became a “seeker” at age 14, which led me to a desire to serve others and feel my capacity to do so. However, this came in with some shadow pieces like arrogance and self-righteousness too and even in my already-cultivated self-awareness, I still wasn’t quite touching these and others, like entitlement, and narcissism, to name a few. This has been a part of the soul package I came wrapped in and some big things to work this life. I signed up for SoulFullHeart at age 24 because I wanted to work these things… taking breaks between then and now so that I could humbly go into life without consciously holding a process from time to time, which only illuminated more for me in the end. Once you sign up for the bullet train of deep healing, there really is no going back, try as parts of you might… 🙂

It took many reflections, some very hard to take in, for me to truly feel humbled, or rather, for parts of me to truly feel humbled and really start to feel what was really going on for them. There are soul wounds and also this-life, human wounds to feel too. These words of “arrogant”, “entitled” and “narcissistic” did NOT go in easily and there has been a lot of pain in even having to see myself in this light. What has been harder is feeling how  TRUE these words have been for parts of me who haven’t been challenged on their ways of being in life before! Until meeting Raphael and Jelelle Awen, I hadn’t had a single relationship with another teacher, healer, parent or friend who could bring these pieces to me and if they did, it wasn’t with love and compassion, but judgement from the parts of them who are the same way. I can’t explain to you the difference between these two experiences. It’s really something to feel for yourself. ❤

Feeling our shadow and what’s underneath it is an important aspect of the process of going within. What has appeared to be “in shadow” inside of us is actually a whole lot of pain that wants to surface and be healed. There are immense gifts on the other side of all tears shed when feeling our shame, hurt and even rage. As our layers of inner and outer protection melt away because we are finally safe enough to really feel ourselves and our parts, we feel these movements and realizations come to us with fluidity on waves of love that come from outside and inside of us too. It is a humbling process, to unravel deeper and deeper knots and layers protecting the precious yet strong vulnerability of the Sacred Human seed inside… the seed that is meant to grow, flourish and serve love to so many others!

Parts of me have needed to be how they’ve been – there is so much to push away from in our cultures and birth family conditioning and understandably, there is also a lot to protect ourselves from…until there isn’t, that is. Being emotional is still not a fully-embraced thing inside of many, though arguably it’s becoming more and more so as more of us awaken and can no longer deny how we really feel about anything or anyone, dark or light, or while in chaos or stillness or somewhere in between. During this ascension process, this is all being pushed up as light codes and astral influences constantly invite us to really SEE and FEEL ourselves in a much deeper way, illuminating the places where we still need healing and more authentic love flow. If you sign-for some help with this from SoulFullHeart, everywhere you need to go with become illuminated and we get how hard this can be to feel through. It is a deep healing practice and while there is so much joy, there is also much sobriety as the transformation it offers you really does start within and flow outward to every other area of your life.

Indigos, Crystals, Rainbows and the like are at an advantage age-wise and also soul-wise. We signed up to wake up early and to draw to us the paths that would help with that. Becoming more and more humbled to where our paths are taking us and that we DON’T truly know ourselves in earnest until we’ve really felt our shadows be challenged by someone holding up a mirror with LOVE behind it, is so important if not critical if we are really here to help awaken and lead others. We must first awaken to OURSELVES, let alone ascension, let alone Gaia, star beings, or anything spiritual. The heart truly is where the journey deeply begins and where all legs of it ultimately return to. And there is no other path quite like the one that really embraces and supports an ongoing exploration of our inner worlds, without an “end” place where you can declare ourselves fully-healed, and with plenty of juice for the journey inward and upward. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A Call For Heart-Based Leadership: Less Game Playing, More Vulnerability

By Kathleen Calder

Of all the battles that I have fought in my life, one that remains constant for me is a drive for leadership and recognition. Even as I write this I am coming from a place of desire to be recognized as some kind of new “leader” in this field called “personal/spiritual development”. It has been a struggle to try to let go of that desire, mostly because my Daemon (protector-part, guide, best friend), Sasha, and another part of me named Steven, hold this desire in their hearts. They want me to do what they cannot physically do themselves. Steven is a great scholar and thinker (who is learning to become more of a feeler as well) and he and Sasha have often conspired and brought me opportunities to “prove myself”. Being a guest author on this blog is one of them and I can feel their growing pride in me whenever someone pays attention to what I have written.

The challenge for me, and I feel the same challenge stands for all who wish to be (or already are) leaders, is to stay humble and grounded. To be able to place myself in the trenches with those who I wish to be a sort of “tribe-leader”…or I guess “Shaman” for. To be able to feel what they feel so that their needs are felt, heard and honoured, whether or not I can physically do anything to help them. Instead what I find myself and other leaders doing, is playing to the masses in a way that doesn’t really touch the real heart of the problem we are facing. It becomes a game of popularity and care-taking instead of feeling into what the real issue is.

Let’s look at the recent US federal election as an example of what I’m talking about.

In one corner we have President Obama and in the other, Republican candidate Mitt Romney. I know from my Canadian perspective that many people in my own country were feeling that Obama was the obvious and more progressive choice. Ok. In comparison to Mitt Romney, who desired to take America back to some old-fashioned ways of doing things, yes, Obama is more “progressive”. However, there’s a reason why the election was so neck-and-neck and why so many people that I spoke to actually had no idea who they would rather vote for since neither seemed to be competent enough in addressing any of the real issues. I feel this is a sign of the times we are in. People’s parts, namely their Daemons, are shifting to a place of, “this isn’t good enough anymore” and are longing for something better. That “something better” is the world I desire to help create. It is a world where leaders learn to feel and embrace sensitivity and therefore tap into what the real issues are for their people. The real pain that is buried underneath their desire for marriage equality or for the legalization of marijuana, just to name a couple of recent news items.

There seems to still be an intense fear of empathy instilled in anyone who wants to lead or manage anything or anybody. I learned the other day that Hilary Clinton once cried on camera and it caused a wide-spread panic and sparked questions about her potential ability to lead. I feel that the new way in which we need to be led in this world is through empathy and heart-based vulnerability. It would be a lot to hold as the leader of a country, so it’s possible that leadership would have no other choice but to be more collaborative in its approach. There would need to be multiple leaders in the highest rung.

I can hear and feel some doubts you may have about the potential for that. You and I both feel the danger of the human ego and its’ desire to be the one in solo-leadership. This is the Daemon and other persona parts who desires this, normally. If leaders were in active communication and feeling with their Daemon and other parts, I feel this would be a manageable issue. It is (and has been for a while) a feeling of mine that the more people who embrace parts work, the greater the potential for World Peace. People would be more comfortable being in authentic emotion with each other and would work out their differences accordingly, taking all the steps necessary to be in empathy with each other and their parts, allowing them to be felt and to speak their minds in safety with no knee-jerk reaction.

I am training to become this type of leader for as many as wish to be nourished by the work and the gifts my parts and I would love to bring to them. I am in training and I do not do this perfectly, nor is it about becoming perfect some day. There is no end-result that I desire, except to become surrounded by more people who have surrendered to this work and have chosen authentic, heart-based feelings and relationships to themselves and others. I wish to become more like this and I work on it every day, even as I write this. It is not burdensome. In fact, it is ultimate freedom.

I hope that at least some of this has landed in you. If it hasn’t, that’s ok too. And if it never does, well, I in my imperfection can find ways to accept that, even though it hurts to feel into what that means to me and my parts that desire for me to lead.

In support and love for your journey and where it takes you,

Kathleen

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