Trusting Love’s Waves: A Poem

by Kalayna Solais

Let go, let in, let go again…

the waves coming to the shore can be loved

but not grabbed.

Trusting the next waves to come in

teeming with life

filling the shore’s cupback up again…

this is the practice

of living and breathing with love.


To not control another

or even yourself.

To not feel tasked with the undertaking

of making anything happen

or not.

So love flows…

It ebbs and it goes

And this sense of timing

of mining every moment

is the only thing you can really hold.


Fictitious, time is a tease,

flirting with those who chase it

knowing its virtue,

nodding to its value.

Powerful Divine timings

flow like seas unkept

into hair unkempt

on the heads of those

who choose the bliss-mess stirrings.

Those who wait for the waves

and dive IN.

Those who choose to learn,

heal and grow,

even with each downturn and upswing

overrunning all that once was kept kosher.


And so it is love has its way with us

which, when chosen

gifts us so much more

than unattainable heartaches,

inner-life earthquakes,

and the shakiness of the unknown. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Gift Of Feeling Pain &Trauma

By Deva Yasmin

There are so many ways I can see, of how parts of me can push beyond feeling pain in order to attain or achieve certain experiences. The spiritual search for a long time was a search for a place free of pain for me, the attainment of bliss states and higher consciousness feeling so much more superior and desirable, than acknowledging the pain and suffering parts of me were experiencing. I still see it playing out for parts of me, especially as we taste more of the bliss, joy and contentment that is arising, they desire to stay there, but as Embodied Divine Humans, that is not our purpose to remain there it feels like.

The thing is these states are actually arising, from me being willing to acknowledge, feel and listen to the pain and trauma my parts have experienced, not from any pushing away of, or striving towards, a particular state, this actually blocks bliss. It feels like the reason I can experience these more joyful feelings is because, as I deeply know the experience of the opposite, I can appreciate the true simplicity of what joy truly is. This is a constant circling between the both for me and my parts, there is no end place and yet there is a place of experiencing more and more goodness coming in, only as I am willing to let go of what is not loving or bringing feeling of goodness.

This is the cost it feels like, to experience the fullness of who we are, and what this life and universe has to offer us as Divine Humans. Through feeling the pain and trauma, I am liberating parts of me from the prisons and Matrices they have learnt to call home, but to leave the only home they have known is painful too. To leave behind what they felt was nurturing, loving and resonant for so long, to go towards the more that I feel is available, brings up so much for them to digest. To realize how much of what they felt was Love, has actually been toxic and kept them inside the prison walls, is painful, tender, vulnerable and raw.

There is a time, and a self loving paced, organic-ness to being ready to soberly look into the reality of the life that was known for so long. As parts are felt and validated in what they have experienced; first by others in sessions, which then templates how we can valid ourselves, more space opens inside of us. As I am deepen in this process, I experience how this space becomes available for higher dimensional aspects of myself, as well as Divine beings to come in and support my continued exploration with my parts.

The ones we have been longing for, the parts of us who have the higher wisdom we have been seeking for, and the Beings of Love who we have been calling for, for so long, forgetting how close they have always been, come in to us. It feels like our commitment to keep showing up for ourselves, is a beacon, as we become more attuned to feeling, we become more sensitive to the higher frequencies all around us. This for me is so much more embodied, which brings a visceral confirmation of what is real and the Love that is always here.

When I have pushed to attain a certain state, the higher frequencies can feel ‘floaty’ or ‘wishy-washy’, they cannot ground and actually be beneficial in my everyday life. My parts cannot let it deeply in, in the ways that is needed for them to feel, heal and integrate their past experiences. They cannot rest within me if they cannot FEEL, the stable presence of the safety these higher frequencies and Divine Beings are offering them, especially I feel Divine Mother. She feels so significant to my parts process right now, as I digest with parts of me who have never felt held or nurtured.

It feels like if we keep pushing beyond pain as it is arising, not being sensitive to the subtle contractions, we keep ourselves in the prison of feeling alone and in pain, we keep ourselves in the suffering loops. As I write this, I feel how I am learning to be really present to the subtleties of all this, this no longer has to be a process of digging and trying to unearth pain or trauma, the pain arises organically in response to just BEing in life, being available to the healing life is offering us in every moment. As there is more and more goodness arising, it can be quite the process as well to let that in, I feel many of us who have been on this journey for a while will resonate with the striving and pushing for healing, or the over focusing on what is wrong, it can feel quite addictive to parts who are so used to the frequencies of abuse and trauma, to want to stay there it feels like.

I feel I am entering into more of a space of flow with the process, and an availability for what is real in the moment, letting life and what is in my heart lead my process. This feels to me what it means to be embodied. Parts of me no longer want to get out of the body to find home, or out of feeling pain, because they are realizing more and more from experience, that their true home, their higher frequency origins and their Divine nature activates and arises from within, as they feel and clear the pain and trauma they have held onto for so long, because that is what has felt like home.

The empty space that is opening up within me and within my life, through my willingness to feel pain and no longer hold onto places, people & patterns in my life that cause more pain, can feel both completely full of potential and completely void. So many questions, and so much time to explore them, so much to digest, and so much clarity to be birthed in me too, A space of feeling, healing and becoming.

I find myself in the moment honoring a very tender process with my younger parts as they let go of relationships that have been abusive and toxic, non of this is easy, but it is real and honest, and that is what my Soul longs for. This is what my woman’s heart longs for, and as my parts learn to trust me, and they experience the beauty and goodness living life lead from a tender, vulnerable, open heart brings, feeling pain becomes SO worth it and SO valuable, as it becomes the Inner Compass guiding us home, always, to LOVE.

Much Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

Mother Aphrodite Message Of The Catalytic Healing Power Of Falling IN Love

by Kalayna Solais

“Falling in love IS serving love.

It’s inhabiting its textures, its fragrance, letting it rumble through the chakras, feeling it raise questions about your next life steps, such as they are.

Falling in love can happen in any moment.

On the inside with parts of you. On the outside with a beloved soulmate or a friend or even with a complete stranger just because you feel their uniqueness in your bones.

Falling in love happens with nature, with the energy of the planet on which you live, with the forces of life and abundance and eternal movement with the galaxy surrounding you and the multi-verse you reside in at a larger scale.

All of this serves LIFE to happen in enriching ways that open up to MORE love… and that… that is serving love in a grand form that brings it inward, moves it in a flow that floods the heart of you and reaches toward the heart of others. It brings love to this planet, lets it download through the conduit that IS your soul and why you are here at this time.

And, with that, love cannot help but impact the world you live in in GOOD ways and boost the ongoing Ascension process of all that lives within you and everyone ‘outside’ of you.”

~ Mother (Goddess) Aphrodite

 

This message came to me yesterday as I connected with Mother Aphrodite (as I am feeling to call Her) in meditation yesterday. She is yet another face of the Divine Mother that we can connect with whenever we desire to. In fact, She does love to respond to our heart’s desires, as that is part of Her purpose and the archetype she IS.

I have been connecting with Her through and with a new Metasoul sister connection that I’ve made recently, who was a courtesan at the Temple of Aphrodite, offering her body in service to men who desired transcendence and also a connection with the Divine Feminine that they could not access themselves. Connecting with this ‘sister’, named Lysandra, has bridged me to this powerful and tender energy of Aphrodite, who feels very catalytic and who also seems to encourage us to go INTO love, not shy away from it, even if that means that the intimacy brings us to some messy places where we are in a soup of triggers and reactions or even ecstasy. I feel Mother Aphrodite in a more ascended form than She has been depicted in ‘Ancient Greek’ texts and so on. She even appeared quite blond to me instead of the usual red or strawberry blond hair colour that you most often see.

This message came as encouragement to continue to fall in love… whatever that means in any moment. It was an invitation to keep the heart open, to stay in curiosity, to hold patience for others as you bridge them to love too, and to trust that if you do feel genuine love flow between you and another being, human or otherwise, there is something more to surrender to in that experience… especially whatever this connection seems to be bringing up inside of you to be held and felt. I would not have access to this energy of Mother Aphrodite or this new Metasoul sister connection had I not been in a process of opening up my heart wider to others and feeling the kickback and defences of parts of me in doing so.

Mother Aphrodite is a bridge to both the glory and the gory when it comes to the passage and flow of love. She is a Divine poultice who it feels like can hold both the balm that love can offer and the catalytic craziness in moments that love can offer too as it stirs up so much inside of us, so much that we couldn’t have felt or healed without it being brought to the surface. Of course, there is also much She offers us in sexuality and sexual healing, honouring the pleasures of the body yet holding boundaries as necessary too to truly honour where you ARE right now and what feels good to explore and what doesn’t. This is something that has often been distorted about the energy She brings with Her and it feels like She would love to see this shift in the collective consciousness!

Much love to you and with you as you feel your own journey and recognition of the catalytic nature of love, especially ‘falling in love’, and the deep healing it can and wants to offer! ❤

~

Art by Emily Balivet

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.