Tag: healing shame

Healing Inner Punisher/Shame Loops To Come Out Of Smallness and Into Your Vastness

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from being small. From learning to act small and conform to the smallness around you.

The suffering comes from their projection of smallness onto you and the acceptance of this that then becomes your reality….and theirs too. It is a co-created agreement to be and remain in smallness. The smallness is the 3D agreement of filtering. It makes up the veil of amnesia and the belief in it keeps the veil in place.

The pain comes from the long term fusion to/belief in this sense of smallness AS the truth of who you are. It comes from the forgetting of the truth of your VASTNESS.

Parts of you form to support this smallness picture. These parts of you repeat the message of it over and over in self punishing tones and voices within you. The unworthiness message battles your body, your emotions, your spirituality, your choices, your thought patterns….whatever can be picked on or is vulnerable to attack.

This punishing frequency forms layers of protection and guardedness over your innocence. Over time, your innocence becomes covered over with shame and feelings of wrongness and unworthiness to receive love.

Your trust in life, yourself and the Divine gets layered over with distrust, esp as you draw more circumstances and relationships that reinforce this smallness picture.

Your sense of goodness about yourself becomes buried over with unworthiness and self hate.

These parts of you feel then that they ARE unworthy, are shameful, are wrong by their very nature. So much suffering in this usually unconscious looping of the punisher part and the corresponding reactions of shame in the younger parts of you.

This is a well oiled and fuelled system inside designed to keep you small, created to cap your growth, and reinforced to maintain itself. It is designed to keep you protected, even if it is limiting.

There is not some evil force of aliens or demons or negative entities that keep this personal hell in manifest form from within you. This is not being done to you BY others, even as it can very much feel that way.

The others in your life (the ‘outside’) that invalidate you and reinforces this smallness picture are there only to offer you a reflection of this inner polarized state for it continue to come into your awareness….over and over again if necessary until you wake to it as being sourced from INSIDE of you.

This is a self-created smallness that your soul chose for good reason….until it is the time and phase to complete it. ONLY you can realize when that time is and ONLY you can end it.

You end it by bringing love to ALL the parts of you that have felt so unworthy, including the parts of you that punish, judge, attack, and shame you. You separate from these parts in order to have a relationship WITH them and not just become them in their routinized reactions.

THIS creates an increasing sense of your goodness, of your worthiness and….of your VASTNESS. This inner love ambassadorship to ALL frequencies inside of your BEing connects you to the truth of your bigness again. To your innate goodness again. To your innocence again.

Who ARE you?

You ARE Infinite Love in human form….Divine Self essence in a human body……arising into your bigness expression for the service of and because of LOVE. ANY picture less than that is ripe to be loved into this infinite love realized manifestation state again.

Welcome back to the VASTNESS of you….love can show the way!! ~

Message from your Divine Self,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for women (and with Raphael for men) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Punisher-Shame dynamic:

Posted a video of me reading this writing as well on my feed and here on you tube:

Feeling Your Inner Child To FREE Up Frequencies of Joy, Magic, And Innocence

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

love-inner-child-burning-man-sculpture-1
A sculpture at Burning Man….

In the heart of the woman is the daughter, waiting to be adored by parents who feel and WANT her. This inner daughter sits often in shyness, cast into the shadows to remain β€˜safe’, not able to come out and play. She is freeze framed in her sadness, β€˜stuck’ in the scenes that bring pain every time they are replayed by her mind, which is just trying to β€˜clear’ them out.

Her voice is suppressed; her innocence is buried under shame; and her self consciousness leaves her unable to break free from the protective energies that judge and criticize her. She is a child without direct access to the JOY and magic that lives inside her as a seed that needs the water of LOVE to grow and bloom.

In the heart of the man is the son, waiting to be initiated by parents who feel and ADMIRE him. This inner son has masks to wear that play at β€˜being a man’, even as he feels very small and insecure inside. He pretends to be a super hero, although protective and critical energies judge him as a coward.

This inner son learns to hide his vulnerabilities and his tears and, eventually, his heart behind shields and walls. He is trapped in the mind; in compensations and addictions; in reaction to inner energies that bully and criticism him. His WILDness is tamed by a world that wants him to conform, to wear a suit of conventional life, to β€˜play by the rules’. He is a child without access to his childlike essence and the goodness and magic that lives inside of him.

Feel with tenderness this daughter or son inside of you. Invite them out to play with you, to leap with JOY again in every bound. Hold their hands as they cross the inner streets of busy mind and activities. Pass tissues to them as you FEEL their tears and sadness and their fears. Be interested as they tell you their stories. Bridge their hidden world with your outer one, making it safe for them to grow and learn.

Feel with openness where this youngness lives inside of you and the ways that it shows up in your β€˜adult’ life. BEfriend this BEloved aspect of yourself as you BEcome what you have needed the most and didn’t have. Bring in Divine Frequencies of Mother and Father to provide Infinite Love energies to help re-parent them. Let Divine Mother wrap them in Her arms. Let Divine Father hold them in his protective embrace.

As you ARE the loving parental energy that these parts of you didn’t have in the way that they needed IN the painful moments that they MOST needed it during your childhood, the energies of your wounded child transform to health. Shame becomes innocence. Anxiety becomes trust. Shyness becomes humble confidence. Depression becomes creativity. Disillusion becomes purity. The wounded 3D Inner Child frequencies vibrate higher and higher, transmuting into the Magical, Star Seed 4D child and eventually into your 5D Crystalline child, who occupies the seat of your Merkabah or light vehicle.

Places of immaturity in your gender expression are then able to mature INTO the mature Queen and the mature King. As the child energies vibrate higher and you show up as an adult more and more to SEPARATE from these energies, you mature in your emotional body, your sexuality, your capacity to transact intimacy in all relationships. BEing with the youngness inside and loving it is what frees UP your mature feminine and masculine, along with letting in frequencies from the Divine to template how to embody and BE this.

Feel the Inner Protector who guards your Inner Child. With fierce loyalty, this protective part of you had to show up probably very early in your life when life was deemed β€˜not safe’ for the innocence and purity of your heart. Negotiate with this Inner Protector, get to know them, form a bond and invite them to rest eventually. As they feel and see YOU there being with your Inner Child in a NEW way, your Inner Protector will start to trust and let go more, drop the guards and the walls, allow more LOVE into your BEing and life. Here is a guided meditation and teachings from us to connect with Your Inner Protector, which is necessary before accessing the DEEPER frequencies of the Inner Child: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

This inner family of yours is waiting for your connection and for your attention. As you embrace this INNER union with different aspects of yourself, you are more able to BE in your authenticity, open heartedness, open mindedness, feel Divine Love and love with others. As you open YOUR own heart, so does this opening flow out to and WITH others. It is from this overflow of SELF love with ALL aspects that allows for TRUE service of love that comes from humble and surrendered desire!

~

This writing is inspired by my OWN inner child, once named Evie then Aurora and now an integrated aspect of my higher vibrational BEing. It is also inspired by the BEAUTIFUL (although often initially very sad) inner children that I had the honor to connect with during session space over the years. Here is more to read about the parts that we work with in our SoulFullHeart process during sessions and more about our process as well:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author ofΒ Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your SpiritualityΒ andΒ Β Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And BeyondΒ .

VisitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.Β Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.