Anxiety: A Peek Into The SoulFullHeart Process

By Raianna Shai

A couple of nights ago, I experienced anxiety in a way that I hadn’t in quite a long time. One thing that was very different this time was simply my awareness of it. I never totally realized that I had quite a bit of anxiety in the past. I always thought that because it wasn’t inherently debilitating that I was just an overthinker.

But I feel that this experience is quite prevalent in most of us, and is a mix of different relationships between parts of us.

For myself, it felt like my inner child feeling scared of “getting in trouble”. She wants so badly to love, feel joy and play in the beauty of life. But when things happen in my life that are more “adult” and difficult, my Protector will put her out front so that it’s harder for others to get mad at me. Who really wants to yell at a child?

My Inner Protector also has fear, for getting in trouble means he has somehow failed me. So he tends to try and avoid these situations as much as possible in order to protect my other parts such as my inner child.

Then my Inner Punisher comes into play by judging my Inner Child for getting something wrong in the first place. For he’s constantly looking for things that she could improve. When deep down, he really just judges himself for the way he feels he has to be.

All this to say that no matter how bad my anxiety or depression gets, the biggest thing that gets me through and allows me to grow from the situation is feeling the dynamics going on inside.

It’s different for everyone but what’s the same is that all of our parts ultimately want love and to be heard. So if we take the time and space (if we can) to get to know these parts of ourselves then MAYBE we can begin to draw these feelings and situations less and less.

Here is *sort of* a poem I wrote to illustrate the process I had that night!

————————————-

Tears of hopeless frustration

Feeling lost in a sea of emotion

Stomach tense in fear and expectation

Anxiety takes hold with intense ferocity

Sleep is lost to the silence of the night

Tossing and turning with measured repetition

Then I remember the family inside of me

Waiting to be felt

Waiting to be heard and loved

“What can I do for you, my loves?”

“How can I help?”

“I’m scared and just want to have joy”

Says the little one

“I fear failure, that I put you in danger”

Says the fierce protector

“I don’t like this, and I need to to fix it”

Says the punishing voice

“You are all loved, supported and heard”

I say

“You, little one, need not to worry of things in the adult world. You are the joy and love I need to tell my truth with compassion.”

“You, my loving guard, need not to protect the others. I am here now, to hold the space with intention and strength.”

“You, my precious critic, need not to judge yourself or others. You were needed once before, but now you may rest.”

And with that

The child tucked in

The protector at rest

The punisher soothed

I sleep in peace

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

To The Inner Child/Orphan Inside

By Jelelle Awen

To the little one inside,

The lost one that wants to be found,

The sad one that wants to be happy,

The hurt one that wants to forgive,

The earth bound one that wants to be in the stars,

The sensitive one that feels EVERYONE and EVERYTHING around them,

The overwhelmed one surrounded by energies they don’t understand,

The merging one that doesn’t understand boundaries,

The receptive one that accepts whatever truth offered to them.

To this precious one inside of you….

You are feeling their fears, easing their anxieties, and becoming a reassuring presence that they’ve always wanted.

You are shining the light on all the monsters under the bed to reveal the friends waiting there in the shadows.

You are offering the softest embraces, the kindest words, and the deepest unconditional love.

To the orphan inside of you…

You are becoming a healthy, consistent, and supportive parent.

You are healing from the wounded mother/father energies that were passed down to you through your family line. 

You are becoming the comforting authority that they most deserve and desire.

You are offering a home inside of your own heart where they can finally feel claimed.

 ~

This is inspired by the beautiful and vulnerable inner children receiving love, attention and care (sometimes for the first time) that I’ve been blessed to provide a bridge to connect with in sessions, here during our Equinox gathering/retreat that is going on now, and inside of myself.

Another aspect of my inner orphan child is coming up for attention and love during the gathering in response to the goodness of serving more in the physical with a group of ten souls moving into deeper healing waters. She is tucking more into my heart each day as she feels the resonance in others who have the same lost children inside of them that are now receiving love. I am so glad to feel her, to discover another layer of her in myself, and to love her. I feel the trust, softness, and preciousness she holds and that I then get to express with others.

As we feel the innocent and tender energies that the inner Protector, the Inner Mother/Father, the Inner Punisher are all guarding and protecting…..as they can interface more with our reality and with others, these parts of us can heal and integrate. They become our crystal children….free, magical, curious, and deeply compassionate. They sit in the seat of our higher heart and power our merkabahs.

As they find a home inside of us that they have never known, they become a bridge to our star family ‘home’ frequencies that we’ve been missing and longing for. Their bravery is able to lead us forward on many multidimensional journeys and discoveries!

Here is guided meditation to connect to your inner child:

https://youtu.be/L_bpgyIuYds

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Join me for a women’s group on Sunday, September 29th at 10:00am PDT over zoom where we will explore sacred arising feminine energies which definitely include healing of our inner wounded daughters and relationship with our inner mothers too. You can purchase the zoom link here to join us live for the group and receive the recording through your email – https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/sacred-feminine-exploration-women-s-group-calls-jelelle-awen

Or you can purchase it here through paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will send you the zoom link via email.

 

 

Initiation Into The Sacred Masculine On Father’s Day

Today Father’s Day is happening inside of me. Today I open my heart to my inner boys. My inner child and inner teenager. The ones that didn’t get the initiation into the world of the divine masculine. This is not a knock against my 3D fathers. They did all they could do with what they were here to initiate me into. I have had my own personal healing process around what I did or didn’t receive as a growing and maturing boy. I had tears last night for what could have been.

Yet, in that moment I realized I can do that for myself. For them. I can connect to the divine masculine within via my masculine guides, metasoul brothers, and the Divine Father. Big Papa Love. He says he is here to continue my initiation. He is here to lead me to my True Man self. The one where my truth is felt and expressed in equal parts. The one where the courage to Be is as important as the courage to lead.

I am to continue this deepening quest for self-love, self-worth, and self-pride. One that heals and integrates the feminine within. It is an ongoing process of claiming Her inside of me. Of reconciling the judgments and the suppression. It is letting go of what was to let in what IS and can Be. It is falling in love with yourself so deeply that it has nowhere else to go but out. Out into the world in the service of humanity. In service of Love Itself.

In a world where masculinity has searched for answers and control, it is time to be initiated into a new vision of the ascending masculine. One in which love, peace, passion, and creativity are the leading edges of our quest while healing, and not denying, our trailing shadow edges.

From this day on, shall Father’s Day represent New Man Day. Initiation Into The Vulnerable Man Day. It is a fire walk but a sacred walk. I want us all to walk this one together…from the inside out.

Happy Father’s Day to you…the father of your inner boys.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

 

4/4: Reminder Of Divine Love & Support During Intense Phases

by Kalayna Solais

So much of who we are going to be on the other side of this lengthy and often intense Ascension process is shrouded in uncertainty. I don’t get that we’re actually meant to ‘know’ much about this bigger picture of who we are and are not. Just like a toddler learning to toddle, so we are love itself learning how to love again.

We cannot avoid the trips and falls, but we can keep getting back up, building strength, growing resolve, and choosing to keep seeing the world differently… especially the world within each of us, learning about ourselves and others along the way.

I remember the first time I was given this picture by the Divine of a toddler learning to walk… I was on a ‘break’ from my SoulFullHeart process, taking space to be on my own solo adventure in Mexico. It was my birthday. I felt so sad… so many tears coming up, with parts of me that felt like they were failing. Feeling so lonely and missing those I had been so close to but was now pushing away from out of a need to grow ‘on my own’ for a while.

I remember laying in bed, sobbing, and being offered this picture of a mother and father bending down at one side of the room, calling to the little girl in front of them to keep getting back up again and to take that next step. She kept falling down but eventually got to them and together they celebrated this incredible milestone of ‘first steps’.

The Divine offered me the sense that I was the toddler in this picture, that everyone must learn to walk before they can run and that this is exactly the process of healing, evolving, and growing on every level that everyone must be with. I was offered that the Divine has infinite patience for this process, celebrating every aspect of it… every breakthrough, realization, or even ‘fall’ we endure as we all learn to get back up again, trust again, and believe in love again.

More tears came as I felt the infinite love and support I was surrounded by, especially during a time when parts of me felt so much self-punishment around the sabotage of an old life picture and a feeling like I was doing everything I ‘shouldn’t’. I felt so comforted by this message and especially felt the young parts of me that had been caught in the cross-fire of all of the recent changes, landing in the loving laps of the Divine Mother and Father, both.

If we all, in this very humbling process of Ascension, can remember that in the bigger picture we really ARE all ‘toddlers’ in many ways, we can go back to the feeling our souls so know of being loved for everything we ARE, even when it might feel like the world has gone dark and there is nothing left of love or goodness.

No matter how often we may seem to fall into more cycles of death and rebirth, thrashing out about this or that, feeling the cries of the world, or feeling the cries of our inner world, this is all part of the picture of learning to walk in love again. We do get to point out what isn’t love and sometimes that comes with charge and contention. Yet, we do get to find the softness and vulnerability again too, that often comes from the tender and usually rather young parts inside that are so ready to be connected to love again, to help bridge YOU and other parts of you back to love again, and to not only be healed but offer healing to others too.

It may feel sometimes like you are stumbling, fumbling, tumbling on your way back to love… yet the invitation is always there to begin to feel this process differently, to feel the parts of you that have a hard time letting this in and that are used to feeling so much punishment/criticism instead…. to feel the young parts too, like the Inner Child or Inner Teenager, who have been affected by this energy and who need so much to get back to the roots of love. It’s times like these when so much is perhaps moving through and shifting in your life, that remembering humility is the key to walking with it instead of running away from it, and extracting all of the gifts from every experience you may find yourself in. ❤

Much love… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Meet Your Dragon Guided Meditation – DAY 17: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN & KALAYNA COLIBRI (VIDEO)

DAY SEVENTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Dragon Guided Meditation W/Jelelle Awen & Kalayna Colibri

This is day seventeen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Colibri joins me again as we talk about Dragons, Unicorns, and other multidimensional BEings that serve as guides for us. We offer about how it is our Inner Child who opens out access to these BEings through the teleportation portal of the imagination. A wounded Inner Child that is fused to 3D frequencies has ‘shut down’ access to these magical BEings that are here to help with our ascension process.

In the meditation today, Kuan Yin and Archangel Michael go along with your Inner Protector and Inner Child on a journey to connect with these multidimensional BEings. You are invited to meet your Dragon or Unicorn or whatever Elemental BEing comes to you. You then fly around with them and receive whatever guidance and messages they wish to offer you!

Thank you for joining us on this seventeenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

 

Inner Child Connection Guided Meditation – DAY 16: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

Your Inner Child/Star Seed As The Seat Of Your Merkabah

By Jelelle Awen

Your light body vehicle is waiting for you. It is shining, glimmering, vibrating with energy, and pulsing with life. It is a reflection of YOUR life force and essence at a high frequency. In this now, our light bodies are ‘in the shop’ getting upgraded, getting ready for many multidimensional journeys to come.

The fuel for your Merkabah is LOVE. It is light. It is the joy, magic, and innocence that comes forward and through as you heal the trauma from and with your 3D Inner Child. This Inner Child transforms to your Star Seed through this conscious connection with you, revealing your Star Seed essence, as the experience of abductions (which were actually visits with your Star Family) come up and are healed.

Your Star Seed’s energy is what powers your Merkabah and their freed-up curiosity to FLY and to journey. Healing of your Inner Child and your Star Seed (abduction wounding/abandonment from Star Family) is not just therapy or a psychological practice….it is critical and KEY to the ascension process.

You BEcome your Merkabah as your emotional body unanchors from 3D reality through the healing of the aspects/parts/energies that still live and resonate there. The Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Mother/Father, Inner Teenager are the 3D parts that we identify as most anchored there. These parts remaining undifferentiated creates a ‘drag down’ on your frequency.

Your light vehicle looks and feels like what is right and best for you. There are no rules about what it looks like, specific forms and shapes that it needs to take. You may see and feel it as the usual sacred geometric form such as in the picture I shared. You may see it as a space ship. You may see it as a many petaled lotus flower.

It is as intimate as your fingernails, your hair, your skin. It is not actually outside of you, yet generated from WITHIN your higher heart especially and projected from there. The higher heart vibrates at this place to generate it with the more love that can be received and let in, the more parts of you can let in love, the faster it can then ‘spin’.

The places you journey….the galaxies, the dimensions, the timelines, all exist from INSIDE of you and originate from this place as well. They are states of consciousness. Your inner space program and process launches from this ground!

Aurora, my Star Seed child, is healing to 5D Crystalline Child essence and likes to take a seat on my lap in my pulsing, rotating Merkabah. There is a symbolic feeling in this of our connection to each other, Aurora and I, and all the healing we have done together over the years of her pains and traumas from abductions and before that my Inner Child and her experiences from my mostly painful 3D childhood-teenagehood.

I am BEcoming my Merkabah. It is becoming constructed and formed as my sacred humanity is arising. One part at a time becoming integrated and unified into the wholeness of my Arising ISness and I Amness. This is a beautiful process.

And, it awaits us ALL at whatever level and ways we can let it in!!

Here is more about connecting with your Star Seed child as a bridge to Star BEing contact: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/preparing-for-contact-with…/

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

And here is a guided meditation to meet your star family, Inner Child, and Inner Protector: https://youtu.be/ubrPcH09X6s

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
More about Star Seeds and the Inner Child healing and our process offered through sessions at the link above.

Energy Update: Schumann Spike Wave For October 21, More Codes To Receive

By Jelelle Awen

Holy wow! Look at this spike wave in the Schumann Gaia frequency today! It has been lasting for several hours and is still ongoing. This graph is UTC timezone, so you can convert that to whatever yours is.

It’s interesting because the frequency has been quiet the last few days, yet I woke up with some head and neck pain. I checked the readings (one of my sources is here: https://www.disclosurenews.it/en/schumann-resonance-today-update/ and sure enough, it was spiking!

I could FEEL the codes coming in offering another wave of New Earth Now for our Gatekeeper aspects to integrate and let in as we are ready for them. As you relax into the downloading process, the more can be received and the less body reactions/pain/discomfort there is.

For me, it was holding session space today for a beautiful soul to feel her Inner Child, offering Mother Mary love and support…. and connecting to her Gatekeeper and his home frequency of Avian energies to allow more opening to star family connection. By the end of the session, ALL the discomfort in my head/neck was gone. Serving love brings in a higher frequency grounded in the heart which also seems to be KEY to receiving it.

Feel where any resistance may be in parts of you to let in the next phase of these energies and upgrades. Offering love to these aspects can open up lots more receiving!

More information here about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

More information here about 1:1 galactic activation and bridging sessions with me for women and men for $55 USD minimum donation for 75-90 minutes: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Jelelle Awen

Healing The Feelings Of Abandonment W/Your Star Family & Star Seed Child Within

By Jelelle Awen

I am letting in, soaking in….connection with my star family and Metasoul aspects/sisters/fractals that I know of now and have become so close to. These kind of weepy tears come up as I feel their TOTAL love for me that is expressed without effort, boundary, or conditions. I recognize this feeling of weepiness….it is deeper need for resonance being met and being let in that can only truly happen from within the self and one’s own soul and with the Divine. No other person can provide and meet this need FOR us…although they can transact love WITH us from the overflow we both are experiencing from self love.

Star family for me is not a concept, yet a visceral and real supportive energy that is transactable through BEing with them. It is feelings of coming home, no longer feeling alone/abandoned, sense of bigger soul purpose here. Reunion feelings can be bittersweet, as they so long went unmet and unfelt. An itch being scratched that you didn’t even realize was there. It is feeling an acceptance of your alienness that makes up the substance of so much of our DNA. This is when ‘activation’ truly happens…when it is offered through your own soul and can be let in through a needing heart/soul to receive it with transactable love.

I feel this pain so often in others of feeling ‘left here’ and not feeling like they truly belong here on Gaia. This is amplified by estrangement and being misunderstood by/with birth family. Experiences of abuse (emotional, physical, mental, energetic, sexual) just compound/reinforce this sense of not belonging here in this 3D harshness and polarized density. Deep feelings of depression, suicide/wanting to leave, panic attacks/anxiety goes along with this. Parts of us BEcome the frequency of wounding from these experiences and there isn’t a bigger container there of compassionate resonance to digest and transform the pain into love/light again.

Our Star Seed aspect is an awakening inner child that can unanchor from 3D as their traumas are processed and a galactic awakening occurs….an innocence and purity lives in the heart of this part of us. They are so often in deep longing and loneliness to feel their star siblings again, to feel the wonder and magic of multidimensional and porous relationship to life that this galactic union offers. Processing undigested trauma/terror from what they felt as ‘abductions’, which were actually visits with star family, they can arise into becoming the magical fuel for our Merkabahs or light body vehicles.

As you connect with these aspects of yourself that most NEED you and receive support from your star family, you can truly LAND here with a filling up heart and soul to receive, to give, and to BEcome love!

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your star family: https://youtu.be/ubrPcH09X6s

More about parts/Metasoul aspect connection here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging sessions to connect with star family, activate light language, meet your inner child/star seed available for $77 USD min. donation for 90 very full minutes! With me for women and for women/men with Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman. More info here:soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

Introduction To The Parts Of Yourself And Soul

By Jelelle Awen

The worlds that these parts of us live in are SO real and so available to be visited. I have been so gifted and honored to venture into so many inner worlds with parts and Metasoul aspects of people in the last couple of years especially. There are many commonalities and similarities that these parts seem to share…even as every one of them is VERY unique to the person and soul.

Let me take you on a quick tour of these inner worlds to meet these parts of self and soul. You may feel a strong sense of recognition. You may respond with sudden tears or released sadness. You may hear and feel your own parts of self and soul responding with a desire and need to be felt, connected to, and seen.

First is your loyal Inner Protector, who is so often just standing by, on guard and vigilant. Lonely for company and companionship, yet unwilling to leave their post for any reason. The need for love that Protectors feel is buried beneath the duty and absolute necessity for protection that 3D life has required. They are covered up in various forms of armor to protect their heart and YOURS. They are standing in front of the castle of your essence….waiting, watching, and most of all guarding the precious contents (other parts) inside. Once connected to and loved, they become healthy boundary setting, healthy self protection. They transform into your 4D Gatekeeper who has access to all the timelines of your soul.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your inner protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s

Inside of the castle are your Inner Child and Inner Teenager. These ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ are often in shadow….tucked away for safe keeping in the high up turrets or the deeper dungeons. They are often SO sad, lonely…the Inner Child forgetting what it means to be free, to feel joy, to feel magical, to feel connected to your star family…..all frequencies that they can return to when received with love. The Inner Teenager vacillates between rage and hurt….wanting to be alone and wanting so desperately to be loved. This part transmutes with conscious connection to passionate expression, creative/soul purpose expression, and innocent sexuality.

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Child, Protector, and Divine Sophia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yuiBDIp2Oo&t=1707s

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Teenager: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu7nRmyzu0E&t=9s

Your Inner Punisher is usually in the shadows, in the dark….feeling ostracised and lonely…..using self judgements of you and others to repel, yet, mostly, to protect from barbs coming from the outside. Your Punisher has important discernments, intuitions, and truths to share with you….connection with them transmutes their energy from judgement without love to healthy discernment WITH love.

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Inner Punisher: https://youtu.be/0cTe6ayIAWk

There is also your Inner Mother and Inner Father….the internalization of the templating that you received from your parents. They can have quite a polarized relationship to each other, for which exploration with them can help to heal and defuse…..opening up your heart for more healthy gender expression and sacred union.

There are others that come from the source of your Metasoul or your individuated soul source. These Metasoul fragments are your soul brothers and sisters living in other timelines….living out karmic patterns that hold woundings that are repeating/recapitulating in YOUR life too. They express as an infinite range of species, energies, and universes. Connecting with them offers immense and effective gifts of karmic healing, soul gift expression/exchange, and quantum collective healing too!

Here is more about parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

This gives you a glimpse into the wonder world of your self and soul….beyond the ‘I’ that you’ve been taught is who you are is the REALity of the energies that HAD to form into expressions in order to fit in with 3D life. Beyond the ‘past life’ picture that makes things ancient rather than acknowledging how they live in the NOW, there are expressions of your soul that WANT and NEED to unify again.

Separation from these parts allows for a collaborative relationship to form. The original traumas and woundings happened in relationship and heal in relationship too. You become a loving, compassionate, and curious higher vibrational frequency of love that can rescue, save, feel, and BE with the parts of yourself and soul that most need you.
 
This is not just a therapeutic process to connect with these parts of yourself….yet also a deeply spiritual one. It allows your soul frequency to unanchor from 3D trauma places/scenes and woundings in your emotional body as held by these parts of you. As these parts release the trauma, they can ascend and awaken into your 4D and 5D self….they can integrate into your arising sacred human expression as Divine love!
~
If you’d like to go on a deeper dive into YOU to meet these parts of yourself with the support of an experienced and very heart open guide, I offer 1:1 bridging sessions with women and Raphael Awen & Gabriel Heartman with women and men to explore this inner terrain. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session
~
Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her for women and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, events/retreats, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.