The Magical Portal Of Your Own Darkness


By Raphael Awen

Your experiencing of what you don’t want is actually what’s key to experiencing what you do want.

To the degree you feel depressed is actually testament to your native capacity for enthusiasm, creativity and divine play.

To the degree you know what it is to feel bombarded with anxiety, or just a background tension of anxiety, speaks to your natural ability for radiating deep trust, rest and security in the world, and beyond.

The presence of the negative is the evidence of the presence and reality of the positive. One cannot exist without the other.

This tug-of-war polarity and tension between what you desire and what you actually experience is the pathway into navigating between the two in the direction you want to go. You are like this anti-gravitic travel device in this way.

You wouldn’t even be able to feel tension, were it not for rest. You couldn’t feel love were it not for fear. You couldn’t feel trust were it not for anxiety. One is needed to give reality to the other.

That’s all these ‘others’ are. Ultimately, they are not ‘other’, but flowing beautifully and magically from the one being that you are. You are already perfect, just maybe not in the way a part of you has perfection defined.

If this is true, what then?

Then,….you are being invited to embrace the opposite, the thing that is ‘opposing’ the thing you want. It’s a magical doorway into the thing you want. It’s not actually an opposition, it’s an invitation.

You should be jumping up and down and falling off your chair about now, on the inside at least, if not on the outside just yet. If you’re not, give your head and heart a shake.

What do you really want? What are you prepared to spend to have that life? Will you spend and cash in your fears, your anxieties, your shame, in exchange for experiencing the deeper essence that you already are?

Begin to really dream of the life you want. See it, feel it. Feel it deeply in contrast to fully feeling the life you presently have, but long to change. Especially feel and don’t deny the parts of you who just can’t see it, who just can’t jump up and down just yet.

GET CURIOUS, open your heart to all that is inside of you. Enter the darkness. It is your magical portal into the infinite magic of being that you are!

I can tell you that personally, I no longer experience the big unaddressed and avoided layers of anxiety or depression or shame. Where these things once lived in my life is now the presence of deep trust and arising creativity, and very meaningful and deepening self worth. This doesn’t mean I am without challenge. Far from it. I live in duality – the tension between what I have and what I want. That’s called appetite, always moving between satiation and desire. I am invited into that tension every day. What’s cool about this is that the courage it took to face and love my depression and anxiety is the same template for how I live in the moment of every day. What need is arising now? How can I embrace that need! Where is love wanting to flow and be felt?

What largesse of my being is wanting to engage it’s next step into the world of infinite love and infinite possibility?

If you need a mirror, or a reference point, jot my name down. You are looking at one of thee most amazing beings you have ever laid eyes on. You are looking at nothing less than a mirror of yourself. I’ll in turn jot your name down. Holeeee ________ !

We are this crazy hot stuff, only reeling from how magical we are, how infinite we are, how full of love we are. Everything ‘else’ isn’t anything ‘else’, it’s all the same pointing to oneness we are inside, outside and collectively.

We’re such hot stuff, we needed the invitation into the opposition as a way to unlock and discover.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Check out our programs: FREE, PREP and DEEP, for a new and profound going-on place in your spiritual and emotional journey at

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