A Common Challenge For Awakening Men

By  Raphael Awen

I had the pleasure of holding space for a man yesterday in session space over zoom and we encountered something together that feels really common for awakening men.

As he described some precious and powerful awakenings with Yeshua and many new places of openings recently, I couldn’t help but feel an anxious undertone in his sharing, so I just asked if he could feel a part of him that is vigilant about keeping up with awakening, and that opened out a whole portal to go into together where we felt and saw that the efforting and vigilance about awakening was being used to avoid an inner well of ‘persistent hollowness’. We were able to see and feel the part of him who lives in this hollowness and begin to see him as the one who holds vast access to creativity, as well as the men’s version of the womb, what’s known as the Hara.

This all felt so familiar to my own process of being out of touch with my own grief over the years, and with that of course, my own depression. I didn’t have any depression as near as I could tell, for decades actually, but truth was, part of me had just done an outstanding job of keeping it buried. I was quite a stellar human then, liked by many, but the treadmill of the efforting was starting to wear the benefits thin and the costs were tabulating.

I don’t think anything would have changed for me were it not for a crisis, and in some ways, an ongoing series of manageable mini crisis’ if you will.

Together in session with this man yesterday, we began to feel the call to really begin to bridge to this part of him, curiously and with open heart, get to know his reality. Negotiate with him to return out to play, not as another item on the to do list or the to be list of awakening, but just as a natural longing and appetite to get to know.

Then we felt THAT to be the ending of the efforting, as the efforting was actually being used to keep this part’s world and reality suppressed inside, when life is actually ripening this part’s reality to the surface.

I so don’t feel I could have bridged these realities inside of myself and my own healing/awakening process without ‘parts work’ as it is known. Without parts work, we just leave the part of us to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, without them feeling a you there to be with them, to bridge and support them in the changes they wish to make, kind of like the physically present, but all too often emotionally absent parents we experienced in growing up.

When the bridging occurs between you and a part of you, the perception of what both the problem and the solutions are also shift and change and whole new worlds emerge that were not seen before.

This is the magical portal that our wounding is, offering us sacred entry into dimensions not seen or known yet. Spiritual fixes for depression or anxiety aren’t much better than the pharmaceutical fixes are as both are about the fear and avoidance of this portal.

Being ready to enter this portal is quite organic, and you simply know when you are there. The call and question about sufficient courage is outweighed by the growing inability to hold up the old way any longer.

Whatever needs to be surrendered in order to enter the portal is kind of like shrinking your life into a 2 suitcase limit on a one way overseas airplane flight. You only have 23 kilos per bag, so the question becomes about what’s coming or not. Really, you can only take yourself, and a few most necessary items. The life you’ve created and accumulated needs to be largely or completely let go of. Socially, this is probably the hardest as our underlying and unconscious social agreements are about each of us promising to remain proximal in both geography and within a certain consciousness bandwidth with one another. You could say that we co-sign one another’s agreements to stay in resonant around remaining small, that is until we default on the agreement.

Some around us understandably get pissed, and rightfully so. We were the best exemplars to the agreement, maybe even better than the others in the picture were. And now, you’re the one pulling the pin. You also have some apologies to make, but the crazy thing is, no one wants the apologies, they want you to return, but crazier still is that you’ve already morphed beyond the place where that could even be possible. There’s nothing left but to honour that with grief and sorrow and goodbyes.

‘You’re the one who changed’ my best friend once told me while out on a hiking trail trying to bridge a conversation about the growing differences between us. He was right. Our unspoken agreement had been about remaining true to a code of values, purpose and meaning. My emerging  values, purpose and meaning we’re leaving the parameters of our agreement. My old me simply couldn’t fit in the suitcase any longer and my departure date was fast approaching.

It wasn’t but a couple years later that I sat across from this friend at breakfast, with tears, and said goodbye to him, to our friendship, as where I was going was only going to leave both of us strained in a very unreal friendship, something neither of us were really capable of.

Life, real life, always brings up new enterings and leavings in this way. All of life could be summed up as a series of beginnings and endings in this way, and the most adapted to this reality, in their ability to feel grief and sorrow are truly the happiest campers. Joy comes in the morning and through the mourning.

What is it in life that is shifting and rumbling for you? What are you being asked to grieve and let go? How could you do that in a way that doesn’t leave you more wounded, withdrawn and reserved?

Could I help you make that transition? Could I help you embrace your bigger you? Could I help you find your soul family and passion purpose calling expression?

I moved into a new and brave world as a beginner, and have made some discoveries that may one day bear my name, but for now they are just here being offered to you, as these discoveries need more bold souls to test drive the living, loving and learning. Then it can be our discovery, and not just mine.

I would so welcome hearing from you, more about me and sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can email me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. Sessions are for 90 minutes and cost $100 usd. You may also be drawn to one of the three other current SoulFullHeart facilitators, my wife, Jelelle Awen, Aurius Amara, Kasha Rokshana, whose info is also at the link above and who can be reached at the same email address above.

The pic above is from a recent group day with six of us here in Glastonbury/Avalon. We look shiny and lovely because we are most of the time, but also not without some serious mess in the playful bliss, both as couples and as a community.

Love,

Raphael 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Our next group call:

taking place on March 14th @ 5pm GMT (London, UK) with Raphael and Jelelle, which will focus on Sacred Sexuality. More info on that call can be found here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Joys Of Not Knowing

By  Raphael Awen

Have you ever noticed that those who claim to not know how to pray offer the best prayers?

So often, it’s our experience and familiarity with something that hampers our arising and new direct interaction with that something.

How could we return to a state of not knowing in order to have a first time experience?

Even asking this question is using experience and knowing as an attempt to return to the innocence not knowing. Isn’t it maddening when the mind gets in the way, even when it’s wanting and willing to get out of the way, but just doesn’t know how?

Wait! I think we solved it, no?

You want to get out of your own way, but don’t know how. Now, you enter the womb of surrender.

You have a desire for something that you have no power or knowledge whatsoever on how you are going to achieve that something. All you have is what you don’t have.

I feel this place where my assets of past experience don’t seem to add up to anything of salvageable value towards entering a new unknown, except for the one asset of not knowing. If I don’t know, then I get to admit that, lead with that, toddle out my first steps into the new thing, laugh goodheartedly at myself along with the others I’m entertaining in the process.

I believe you also, not too far down inside, can feel the place where you don’t know what you are doing.

What if this could be admitted, owned, and cherished instead of a thing of shame and resistance and hiding? Your not knowing is the real gold you came here to share and explore.

You enter the God-zone where even God gets to not know through you.And it makes you really interesting, fun and sexy, if you ask me. Know it alls are boring and dry.

💚
🌹
🏄🏻‍♂️
🙏🏻
❤️

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

My Long List Of Spiritual Attainments!

By Taliesin Awen

I’d like to share with you some of my more attained spiritual practices, not to brag or anything like that, but more to be a good example if it’s helpful.

Now, just to be clear and full disclosure and all, there are a few attainments that I haven’t quite realized, that I’m still working on, things like teleportation or levitation and the like. But that doesn’t take away really from what I have, through a lot of fucking hard work been able to achieve.

Let me see, where to begin?

I am able to watch the ‘watch’ thing on Facebook of late and scroll through endless videos of people doing stupid things, sometimes for like a full hour, quite effortlessly actually. I had no idea that table tennis got that advanced since I was into it. That Ozzy guy is a bit rough around the edges with his voice over reviews, but kudos to him for just being himself. The odd scantily clad beach babe inevitably comes up and I usually try to not linger too long, as she doesn’t feel that exciting really, taunting me with her non-offer, except maybe for a titillating moment. Between getting bored and a bit sore from laying around doing nothing really, I then check my Facebook posts for likes and accolades, before passing out.

Then I’m also quite well versed on a Tetris like iPad game, a teenage obsession that crept back into my life recently, nothing too complicated with too many levels and such, but yet in that vortex another half hour or more can pass into oblivion.

It’s also on my list to be able to pass through walls, which isn’t going too well, just yet, but I am really good at consistently banging into walls. If that doesn’t feel like too attained of a thing, just ask the angels, they have the through walls thing going on, but most of them can’t bump into a wall if their life depended on it. I’ve bumped into so much shit, I fear going bald for all the scars and war wounds that will be revealed. I’ll just be sure and wear one of my favorite spiritual teacher hats when the time for that comes.

What else? Right, I’m really good at early morning meditation, but just in my own developed style or dharma if you will. My mind can go in six directions at once, and remain busy as hell, talk about ‘multidimensionality’! I usually drink tea and sit up in bed while I do meditation though as that lotus position twisty thing is as uncomfortable as hell, believe me. I maintain some really good focus until it’s time to write a post or again, as I said, check on Facebook for likes or accolades, or to break my fast on some chocolate or cacao ceremony as some call it, a perfect excuse for chocolate being the first thing I eat on a day with nothing better to do.

Prior to my enlightenment, I was stuck in relentless daily regular consistent practices like yoga and exercise and such, but now, I’m settling naturally into being able to slough off those things easily for another day,… or month. Breaking these nasty addictions has been a major game changer.

Forgive me if any of this sounds like bragging, but it just felt important to not be afraid to toot my own horn. How else can anyone else truly learn if those of us who have gone before are not willing to say it like it is?

What else? Sometimes, I can say or write some pretty brilliant things that people seem to like and be touched by. Where it all comes from, I’m still trying to figure out, really. But what I am getting figured out is that the one thing that really pisses a part of me off is pretending to be something I’m not, so that’s another one I’m still working on, after way the hell too much time spent posturing and pretending, which I’m discovering more and more to be maybe thee root of all stress in my life. That pattern comes up now big time in trying digest where and why a treasured romance recently suddenly came apart at the seams.

I want to get back to play, to really learning, or unlearning maybe more like, how to really be in the abandonment of play. The young kids I see more and more just don’t give a fuck somehow in this really delicious way, and God, I’d love to get more like that. So don’t think for a moment that I’ve got absolutely everything figured out just because I’m admittedly ahead of you in these ways I’m describing.

One more thing while I’m on a roll, I’ve gotten quite expert at reading any room and showing up with what’s expected and hiding away things that I guess wouldn’t score me too many points, or worse, get me kicked out of the game. All that has done me a lot of good, or so I thought, even made me plenty of money over the years, even if it hollowed out most of the deeper meaning in many of my relationships. When I say meaning, I think I’m speaking to the freedom of finding the self permission to just fucking being real in an ever deepening way. If it ain’t real; warts, language, offense and the like, what the hell good is it? Maybe you and I both could use some offense!?

I’m pretty good too at overeating. Why eat just the right amount of all the right things when you can bloat yourself out for the rest of the day and night? Nothing you can’t fix with some dessert thrown on top for good measure to assuage the disconnect of eating about twice what I actually needed.

Anyway, I’m running out of more examples just now, but it felt important to at least give you the high points and set the record straight, for my self worth, to not be afraid to say it straight. And it shouldn’t take you as long as it’s taken me, with me blazing the way for you, a true exemplary wayshower.

Now that I said all that, I feel ready to get going on the next challenges. After all, as they say, if you’re not going forward, you’re going backward. So here’s to fully ass-ending or ascending or whatever that’s called that everyone’s gotten their knickers in a knot over. I’m kind of sure we’ll all end up at the finish line sooner or later, on our asses maybe, but there nonetheless, so not to worry if you’re a bit slower than me. I look forward to being in that moment with each of you and debriefing this whole thing, what we got figured out, and what we didn’t.

You may even be having a better time at all this than I did. I’d be happy to pass the baton and you get to be the shining example, and I get to be a follower for a change.

We’re all different and all God’s children, don’t forget. Hopefully I’m not too far ahead and you’ll still be able to relate. I don’t want to be so heavenly minded as to not be of any earthly good. And of course, I need to make a living at this while I’m at it, so if you care to send money, I’ll be sure to spend that on ice cream and the like.

Yours in sacred service,

Raphael

As you may have seen in a recent post, I’m in process of changing my first name to Taliesin. This writing felt like Raphael, who I’m now relating to as a part of me, and him wanting to part with a layer, a role, that he doesn’t want to take with him as he retires from the lead and heads out for some very well deserved and needed time away in Golden Earth. Thank you to each of you witnessing and feeling with me. 💚🙏🏻🏄🏻‍♂️🌹 Taliesin

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Raphael Has Changed His First Name To Taliesin

By Taliesin Awen

Dearly Beloveds known and to be known,

Well, I did it! I’ve changed my name in the annals of my own heart and with those closest to me and it’s time to announce that here after sharing deeply about the intention here in a recent FB post recently, hoping that it doesn’t come up for you as too weird or abrupt.

Allow me to say a couple more important things first…

I decided NOT to start a whole new FB page, contrary to what I said I was going to do – thank god! That was said in a moment of de-spiration from within the deeply polarized vortex I went through last week. I’m really relieved to remain here and bring the new energies of what’s unfolding for me to share with those here.

I’d really love to be on your ‘see first’ list here on FB because I feel deeply called to be joined with those who’d like to share a resonance flow together and deepening ongoing journey together.

If you don’t feel drawn to have that together and by chance find it hard to relate to my energy, it’s okay if you need to unfriend too or just choose a safer distance. I trust that life is taking both of us where we need to go. I just want to increase the intention of being together at the orbit that feels right.

Thank you for who you are and what you add to my life.

Okay, that was the really important stuff, but there’s still more stuff to share.

In case you’re wondering, my new name is pronounced Tal-ee-ES-in. It may be a bit of a stumble for a while, but that’s all part of it. If you call me Raphael out of habit, that’s quite okay too. I’m relating to Raphael as a very beloved part of me, giving him the opportunity to receive my heart, instead of the long journey of being my heart that he now gets to rest from if that makes sense.

I feel like I recently went through the biggest death and rebirth canal of my life recently, I’m sure there’s more to go, but I do feel to be finding some handrails and seeing some light of a bright new and glorious day in the moment. This has been about going through my biggest heartbreak this life in completing my romance with Jelelle and worse, even fearing not having her and close feminine beloveds in my life in some way, shape or form that I’ve known and come to treasure so deeply. I’m on the higher side at the moment of what has felt like quite a manic ride of the lowest lows and the highest highs. I’d check myself in if I didn’t have some sense of deep trust and surrender to the process. My heart has been and is being broken open in a new way to receive love and to serve love, and dang, it feels so fucking alive!

I feel called to gather a round table of men to share in this aliveness of heart and soul. The beloved women in our lives and the feminine within will not be unwelcome in any way, quite the opposite actually. We just need private space to process and feel and heal together with what’s real now. I see this round table as like a gathering of Arthur’s knights where we are each arising kings and equals, each with unique gifts and contributions, where each man participates with his sovereignty intact and present, rather than something you give up at the door and have hung before you like a carrot that you can then earn back in exchange for your conformity and good behaviour. I know that last sentence is saying a lot, but I believe it has much to do with why men in general (as compared to women) are more distant to deep inner work, emotionally and spiritually – because they don’t want to be emasculated or dominated as they surrender vulnerably to love and let go to find their true power.

I’m deeply sharing this calling with my beloved closest friend and deepest heart and soul brother, Gabriel Heartman who I have known and lived in deep community with for nearly a decade, lived in 3 countries with, but now am actually living together with, sharing dreams, desires, heartbreaks and heart openings. The inspiration is rising and there are some sweet announcements to make soon, just after we share them and feel them and shape them with our closest beloveds first. Please stay tuned – hence the request above to be on your ‘see first’ list.

Okay, I guess I can’t tell you everything in one post, but let me say for now that you will be seeing more of Gabriel and I, expanding out with more and more men, live streams, Conversations With Men videos, ‘courses’ are definitely in the picture, too.

We’re just looking for ways to channel and share in a calling, to nourish and be nourished. Much of this content we are feeling to make by donation or to charge for as opposed to creating free content, as that doesn’t seem to really work for any of us. We definitely need the money and those we share with need to put some skin in the game for the game to be engaging and come alive.

We are just about to share, (and ask a donation for) a video we recorded as a guided meditation to meet your grief directed to men. This feels like the biggest portal for men to enter their sacred calling. It also deeply thrusts them into communication with the parts of themselves they haven’t yet bridged contact with. And it also thrusts them into the world of their own soul, their own Metasoul brothers and sisters in the most grounded and relational way. So please stay tuned for that.

Both Gabriel and I offer one on one sessions for men and if you’d like to explore that, we’d love to hear from you, serve you and receive your financial support in exchange for. The cost is $100 USD for a 90 minute session together and they are transformational beyond words!

We’re both feeling to put out our tip jars as we go on our stuff. Again, we need and want the exchange of your energy, love in the form of money. You can share some here: paypal.me/awentaliesin. I would be so grateful and tickled to receive your love in this form and allow it to be part of a deepening sacred bond together.

Thank you also to each of you who share my stuff with your FB circle of friends! Precious introductions.

Let’s do this and let’s do it together,

Taliesin (and Raphael)

Tal-ee-ES-in 🙂

Tons of love!

Our sessions Page: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

King Arthur’s Call To Men

By Raphael Awen

I believe this is a moment like no other, a moment of opportunity, a moment to choose deep and profound change, a moment to embrace all of you, from your highest leading ‘I Am’ Self all the way down to your ‘lowest’ edge where parts of you live in doubt and insecurity. 

Nothing is actually lower or higher. You will never become any more sacred than you already are! If that is true, then you and I finally have the freedom, to look deeply into the mirrors of our lives, our circumstances, our relationships and take the deepest inventory of what’s also true there, as none of it can take away or add to the fact that ‘I already AM, all that I ever might become’. 

I am very deeply interested in all that I might become. I am also very deeply interested in all that I already am. While this has always felt true for me on some level on my journey, I can tell you that it has felt like my biggest challenge as well. It has waxed and waned. At times, even very recently, I’ve seen my bigness stare me in the face and it has scared parts of me to the core. Numerous hideouts and comfortable ceilings have again been discovered and negotiated with, and let go of, only to be faced with another layer of vulnerability, insecurity and desire. I suspect that this is the whole deal of being here. It gets to move for me from more private to more service-based as I transparently live this out loud. 

I’m no longer of the illusion that these kinds of challenges where I must face a new place in me feeling contracted or small will somehow become ‘healed’ or a thing of the past. If I AM is truly infinite greatness, then any and all achievements or attainments, no matter how great, how relieving, how homecoming, how much of an entrance into my personal promised land – they still remain a humble kindergarten. I’m starting to get used to that! – another celebrated ‘attainment’ in and of itself, where any and all movements either forward or backward are part of the magical and infinite I AM that I AM. 

The other big thing all of this offers me is that the only one I can ever be a saviour for, is me and me alone. I can’t offer you anything you don’t already possess. With this clarity, I can however, hold space to offer you, YOU. 

When Moses, standing in his small self perceived stature before a burning bush manifestation of God, hearing the voice of God calling him and sending him, asked God a very understandable question: “Who do I say sent me?” and God answers, “Tell them thee I AM that I Am has sent you.”

I’m here today standing before mankind, my kind, saying “The I Am that I Am, has sent me to you.” I’m here, in your hearing, speaking to your I AM that I AM, before the burning bush of your desires, your heart aches, your heart passions, inviting you into something tangible, alive and real, inside and outside. 

I’ve crossed a threshold into my own promised land and feel it is more important than ever to invite other men who are ready to enter theirs with me. I can’t do what I’m called to do, or be what I’m called to BE, in a box or on my own. I get to walk out my more in the resonance field that’s generated with other men doing the same.

I’ve done that primarily with Gabriel Heartman for many years in a time where most efforts to expand numbers were met with more inner expansion than any kind of outward expansion. Time and process was needed mostly in private. I feel and see that changing now. Something is shifting in men and in the core of my I Am, informing all of me with a new resolve, as well as a sacred and ongoing completion of my own very real push-pull relationship with my own bigness. I want that more than I want life. This is life to me.

What is life to you? What do you most deeply want? Are you prepared to reach out for a lifeline when one is thrown to you, or will you continue praying for a lifeline instead? There’s a time to ask and a time to act.

I may be sounding fearfully close to a promo salesperson now, and to be sure, I AM trying to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on you. It’s strange though, because no words that I might write or speak could ever actually achieve this. It’s only and ever achievable by living it out inside of myself, and you picking up on that and choosing the same for yourself. 

Our mutual benefit is then easy and natural, whether we go any further in any kind of together way. 

If however, the particular signature frequency of my deal feels like it may be or wants to be a part of your signature deal, then I deeply invite you to check out who I AM and what I offer. 

This video is me here in the Abbey ruins in Glastonbury, offering a connection with one of my beautiful Metasoul brothers; King Arthur. How fitting as he knows how to assemble and lead a round table of men! 

Gabriel Heartman and myself both serve men in one on one sessions helping men embrace all of themselves in ongoing process via a specific path. Here’s a link to more about sessions: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Sessions may well be a bit too close, too soon, for where you are, if you’ve just discovered us. If so, I invite you to consider following us at whatever distance feels comfortable for you, while serving your heartache and opportunity. 

A great way to do that is to join our SoulFullHeart Portal for $15 usd per month, a private on-line community where you get to share with like minded men and women, as well as a men’s only portion of the Portal, and receive exclusive content, writings, videos and transmissions. Here’s an invite to our Portal.

If you’ve read this through this far, then I know you are feeling the truth of the first words I spoke today – that this is a moment of opportunity like no other. Other moments will be sure to come, if that’s what your I AM needs to orchestrate for you, but what if this moment right now is your moment, or at least one of them? What if what I’m offering you is offered to you for you to make a deeper personal connection, to see where it takes you, to see if what you are feeling right now, continues to self validate as a truly profound going on place? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Gabriel would love to hear from you. 

I can tell you from the depths of my heart and experience that I Am wanting, willing and ready to serve you, to show up for you as you show up for you. 

If you are a woman who’s read this all the way through, bless you! And allow yourself to take in all these words directed at men, and feel them for your own inner masculine parts of you. Also, let your sacred yearning and desire for men and the missing masculine to rise up and claim the inhabitation of their long awaited I AM selves, be a gift of alchemy transmitted to all the men feeling this, whether by my words today, or by the same download that’s being broadcast into the collective from many different sources right NOW. 

If you know of other men who you feel are ready for such a time as this, please share this post with them. 

May we each arise to this occasion to find ultimately that there was ever only one of us and one occasion all the while, one truly worth showing up for. 

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Keeping Your Heart-on

By Raphael Awen

A question came up in a lively and vulnerable men’s discussion we were having about what the differences are about energizing love from the heart chakra as compared to the second chakra, and how one can dominate over the other. I offer my response and invite the wider input from our feminine counterparts here.

This is such a great question and part of an ongoing quest, and like all great quests, the question is never fully answered, inviting us deeper into its many aspects and layers. Any ‘answer’ I give to the question is really only one response, thus intended to hopefully open out more questions than provide any final answers. 🙂

What comes up for me is feeling how difficult it has been for men to come from both chakras at the same time. There’s a lot in that saying about how difficult it is for a man to maintain a ‘hardon’ and a ‘hearton’ at the same time. Men tend to come from one place at the expense of the other, and if they can come from both, they toggle between the two, going limp in one in order to enter the other. Being open and coming from both at the same time represents both a vulnerability and a power that much fewer men are comfortable with. 

What underlies this challenge is the differences between our heart chakra and our second chakra. One is the seat of our unity, our union with all things and with all life, with having it all; our heart, where nothing lacks or is missing. The other, our second chakra is the seat of our gender, which feels incomplete without the other half, and thus vulnerable to not finding the completion it wants and needs. Men’s first healthy initiations, if they were met with a healthy anchoring in the root/grounding chakra are then about awakening to their sexuality, power and creativity in the second chakra, discovering what makes them unique and desirable, their gender based expression and worth. 

More to the point of the question above is what are the differences of the love that flows from the heart chakra vs the love that flows from the second chakra, (if i’m grasping the intent of the question). I’d say that love that flows from the heart is rooted in an energy and recognition of the unconditional love that underlies and weaves through all of life and the universe. Heart love validates everything, even differences and even expressions of hatred speak to the inescapable interconnectedness of everything, bound together by love and oneness. The heart can containerize it all. 

Love that flows from the second chakra however is not ‘unconditional’ in the same way. It is conditioned on personal attraction. I’m either drawn or I’m not. ‘Lust’ in this way can come from the second chakra, as in a strong, overwhelming desire for someone or something, and it is based upon something deeply desired for whatever reasons, healthy or not. It’s very specific and dualistic. ‘I like this, I don’t like that’. 

With my mate, I want to be loved in both of these ways at the same time. One doesn’t cancel out the other. I want to know and feel that I’m valued as a human being, and as a soul regardless of who and what I am or are not. I want to feel my intrinsic worth outside of my performance or lack thereof. If that’s there, I can safely feel comfortable to feel and process more of my not-so-loved traits within the relationship to realize more of the growth that is the point of all relationships. 

I also want to be loved however for my unique characteristics, for who I am specifically and what I bring to the relationship, which is very much conditional. I want to feel like hot stuff. A mate who wants to be loved only unconditionally is asking for their mate to be more of a parent to them, which is understandable as we all have wounded inner children wanting and needing this kind of love. 

As I get to play with my desirability and my creativity and my power in relationship, this becomes a powerful mirror and arena for my growth. The vulnerable piece here is of course feeling the parts of us who don’t feel like they are enough, or worthy, or capable of being brightly attractive. 

The feeling of receiving this kind of love in a relationship, (and it could be a mateship, or a friendship), is about feeling my desirability reflected to me in the words, actions and energy of the other. That’s a dicey ground to be lured into of course as it not only promises deep potential reward, but also threatens the deepest rejection. I believe this is why we entered this ground of duality, of ‘this over that’. Ultimately, it’s about all differences being consumed in the overwhelm of love, but on our way to that ultimate reconciliation of love are a whole bunch of lessons and experiences and feelings that are the whole juicy point of duality. 

On the giving end of this conditional love, your mate wants to feel hit on. She wants to feel you are taken with her, that she alone is the passion of your heart, soul and body. Her and none other. If she’s done some of her work, she won’t be impressed however with any ‘dutiful roses’. She will only be watered by you really and truly being into her and smitten. When something less than that is true, in my experience, it has to do with not bringing all of my truth, especially if it’s about an irritation or something I, or a part of me doesn’t like. It feels truly amazing when you are in this zone of being abandoned to your want of your mate and she can lean and rest into that as well as open her heart and body. 🙂

Then to the last piece of your great question – about how coming from one chakra or the other can dominate over the other…

What better arena could there be to play with these needs and dualities. A dual begins with an attempt to dominate and ends with its resolution of that tension, returning to love. Both are needed. ‘Erectile dysfunction’ afflicts the heart and the penis, and is really about this unresolved and unloved dominance when you feel into it. Remaining in one and not embracing the other (transcending duality like most spirituality attempts to do) is to remain uninitiated, and immature in the truest sense, and just doesn’t feel fun to me. I don’t think it does to anyone really. It’s just been a hideout for our vulnerability. Romantic love offers possibly the greatest growth ground and crucible for our growth in this way and it has much to do with the vulnerability and the attempts to answer that vulnerability with dominance. 

All of this is of course also true within ourselves and the dynamic between our own inner feminine and inner masculine parts, even more true actually, as in the inner is the real origin of what’s playing on the outside and so going inward becomes the healthy choice to seek any resolve to the whole dilemma.

Thanks for the great question and thanks for taking in the lengthy, albeit a very much partial ‘answer’, which hopefully left the question more unanswered than answered. 🙂 

More feminine and masculine input welcome, (regardless of your gender…)

The above conversation was part of our new private (and paid) SoulFullHeart Portal – please check us out if this calls to you. Link is here.

Much Love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Lenses Through Which We See The World

By Raphael Awen

The lenses through which we see the world become our filters on life and love and create our familiar personal and collective world.

The creative power is only rivalled by the degree of our denial of this passive creative power. There is no one responsible and response-able but you.

When you can own that without self judgment and without blame shifting to others or to the divine, you are truly entering the sovereign territory of your infinitely powerful being. It doesn’t matter how far you’ve sunk in denying this creative power, if you are willing to awaken to what was previously denied.

The depths of the hell you created mirrors the heights of heaven and the new creation awaiting you, if you’ll just embrace YOU! Each and every one of us are fractals of the divine, reflecting both this creative power and this free will. Where these 2 come together is where your going on place lies in terms of your souls awakening, embodiment and growth. Growth requires real time friction and grist – some ‘skin in the game’ as they say.

When you choose this for yourself – you move from being a SCARED, SCARRED and helpless victim and instead become a most interesting and enlivened SACRED human – where curiosity and wonder is the only fitting looking glass through which you seek life and love.

This photo below came to me while walking in a Mexican village 4 years ago. This boy, 4 years older now, the images he has taken in, seen through the windows he has looked through form the life he is living now. So it is with each of us. I believe we chose to be limited by our innocent ignorance of these deeper truths, and stunted in this way by a veil of our choosing, so that we could awaken, press back on our limitations, being re-membered to our true being and to the vastness of our creative power.

That makes you amazing, interesting and alive, and fun to be around, wouldn’t you agree?

Raphael AwenSoulFullHeart.org/sessions🙂🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻💚

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

A Man’s Inward Holy Grail Quest To Find Real Worth, Value And Meaning

By Raphael Awen

King Arthur’s knights were ever drawn to escape the mundane, the everydayness of their lives. 

These sensitive and hungry souls had grown to despair of the emptiness of their culture, and their lives within that culture. 

They sought an escape into deeper meaning and purpose and an outer form of nobility and purpose to answer an inner unfelt loss of connection with their own nobility. God forbid that they should live out their days without a conscious quest to fill their sails. 

Is a monk of any stripe really any different? Or a renunciant – one who gives up something lesser for the attainment of something higher? What about the man seeking to make himself ‘independently wealthy’ – having no need of anyone or anything, or the hedonist pursuing every pleasure that men may come to know? The hedonist and the renunciant share a common hunger for something truly comforting.

So common to men of any background is the seeking of purpose and power within that purpose. Men are fleeing meaninglessness. Men will readily settle into a career or a family role because it stems this aching pain and discomfort coming from not knowing and feeling who they really are at a deeper level. 

Men who are not in touch with these deeper needs, the ones that really drive them, are then easily manipulated by agendas too numerous to mention – be they of the highest spiritual orders or the lowest callings known to men. Wouldn’t most of us trade in control or our sovereignty in exchange for comfort?

Men want more than anything to feel good about themselves, and if that means dedicating one’s life to helping others in order to feel good about themselves, then so be it, as long as it promises that they will get to feel good about themselves in the end.

The problem however comes in the constant delay of that promise – the futureness of it. ‘I’m so noble, I can delay my gratification of this need till later, in service of others.’ Men slip into settling for any kind of lessening of their pain of their disconnect from actually knowing and feeling their worth and their meaning, having long ago settled that they are not meant to ever know or actually live from a place of their worth, their value and true comfort. 

True embodied worth, that flows from within, that doesn’t rely on any outer circumstance or creed, that you can feel, that can colour your moments with the deepest creativity and engagement has long been written off as a dream, a myth. We are only left with a kind of nobility that makes the best of a really hopeless situation.

These kinds of dedicated happy campers, god bless them, are everywhere. Each of them with their alms begging bag extended before them. ‘Bestow upon me some spare change of worth and acknowledgment for the choices I have made and the example I am willing to be, during such a time of unprecedented loss’.

This all hits so close to home for me. At fourteen, I recall feeling so bored of being bored, longing to find freedom in anything that promised relief. The Christianity of my family heritage felt so compromised and lacking in passion, that I broke away into something much more engaging with a much higher bar of commitment and dedication. As a man to be, I needed to set my sail with a worthy quest to navigate the sea of meaninglessness that was all too real on every side, at every turn. 

It has taken a number of decades this life, and in numerous lifetimes beyond this one, to get to the place where I can feel that the true holy grail quest; from which flows every grail quest; from which flows every draft of any purpose ever imagined or set sail into; is actually about realizing the value and worth that lives inside, that has always lived inside, that awaits our choice and discovery. I can say I am truly coming to know and feel this worth and have my own experiential emerging felt reality of this kind of aliveness. I also feel the invitation for this to be the magic of an ongoing process, rather than some quest-ending instant gratification of these god given and god being kind of needs.

Only a man in growing touch with this inner worth has hopes of being enough for a woman, for a career, for a calling, for a quest, for belonging to a true circle of men who live in shared resonance with one another.

Having landed here in Glastonbury, England, a ‘fortnight’ ago, I am especially feeling King Arthur as a Metasoul brother wanting to digest and feel together with me the dissonance that still lives in men, especially in the men of the highest attainments, whether of spiritual or material pursuits. He says, ‘We got hoodwinked into thinking that if we chose nobility, duty and obligation, we would be guaranteed to find the deepest fulfillment, only to come full circle, after a long time spent in the desert in that lease of consciousness, and patterned brotherhood, having attained many things that felt so meaningful at the time, only to find out that we were ever still searching for the true holy grail, which was hiding all that time in plain sight, and yet for most, still remains hidden.’

The problem now comes in when feeling how to embrace such an inner quest without needing to enroll men into it for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. Men must choose this for themselves, in their own time of sacred awakening, when the clock has run out of the necessary time spent in these previous domains – all of which are equally sacred and necessary to the inhabitation of the quest now arising. It can’t and won’t arise until it does.

I’m returning today and plan to return many times to the burial site and tomb of King Arthur here in Glastonbury inside of the Abbey ruins to feel this great cycle of death and rebirth that all men and mankind must grow into and go through. The once great Abbey that was the wealthiest in all of England, that held so much power and purpose in its many iterations over many centuries, by and for men of so many stripes, is seen to be coming from a worldview of domination, both of oneself and of others. Men of meaning and influence had to be in exchange with this centre of power to be granted lease and influence among men. Now, it sits in ruin as a 3D tourist attraction for tourists to scratch their heads in bewilderment at how and what such a thing was really about. 

I feel Arthur saying that he knows all too well now, what such a thing was all about – It was about the willingness of men and women to pool unimaginable resources into a patched together harmonious flow that promised this deliverance from meaninglessness. It was ultimately and humbly to serve as a bad example, of what couldn’t ultimately work, for the real needs of sacred human men and women, even as it shone a bright light and moved us in powerful new directions that were necessary and needed to bring us to this current flow of consciousness that is now arising – finding true worth and meaning that can only be found within, as Yeshua said, ‘where moth and rust does not corrupt, and where thieves cannot break in and steal.’ Domination itself as a way of life is in its sacred death and rebirth phase and we who are feeling it are the Ambassadors and the Death and Rebirth Doulas that are holding space for this sacred shift, along with its attendant new way of being. 

This is the true kingdoms and queendoms of heaven on earth that we are invited now to explore, to choose as deeply as we can in any and all moments, that thread meaning and deep purpose into the very fabric of your life as you currently know it. This is the true grail quest that we are invited to embrace, that gives purpose, direction, guidance, meaning and empowerment to all of life.

Much love, and wishing you deep strides on your sacred grail quest.

Raphael Awen

soulfullheart.org/sessions 

I work one on one with men in session space and the SoulFullHeart process to assist in this kind of personal awakening. If this calls to you, I’d like to hear from you. I’ll send you a few questions and a guided meditation for you to undertake to find us a starting place together and we can go from there in a way that is tailored to your needs and life. More info is here: soufullheart.org/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Biggest Conspiracy Theory Of Them All

By Raphael Awen

There’s a lot of growing conspiracy theories floating around lately.

I’d like to float an even bigger one – that the biggest conspirator was and is love, as in The Divine, as in you and me.

Love became narcissistically and hopelessly focused on itself, as it was all there was. ‘All one’ became ‘alone’, landing in the antithesis of itself, it entered through its dis-ease and unease, a death, knowing that a rebirth would follow. It saw no other choice. In dying to itself, it gave birth to a firstborn, a perceived other, something seemingly enough outside of itself, to open a new playground, with a necessary game of good and evil, a game of masculine and feminine, a mind boggling game of epic duals and duality.

A game that would involve much hardship and pain, all of which could only be justified by the paling comparison to the stunning grandeur it would, if successful, bring about in the process – a perfect marriage of masculine achievement and feminine beauty.

You and I, Jeffery Epstein, Ghislaine, Bill and Hillary are all part of it. We’re ‘all one’ and ‘alone’ in it together. There isn’t actually two of us in the game and that’s why none of us are off the hook. We’re all responsible to the price tag on this endeavor. We all have great remorse to bear and great beauty and forgiveness to let in.

My reconciliation to the Divine is your reconciliation. None of us arrive fully home until the last one of us arrives fully home. The experiment isn’t over until it’s over.

The greatest of evildoers, those seemingly the furthest removed from the light, are actually souls with the deepest trust to take on the darkest parts of love’s mission. To see this any other way, to see an evildoer as an ‘evildoer’ is to leave ourselves excluded from reconciliation, from completing the circle of love’s mission. For if I’m not as bad as Jeffery Epstein or Hitler, then I can only lay claim to that claim by measuring myself on the yardstick of good and evil. My claim can only be a claim of not being that evil.

Perfect? No, but not ‘that’ evil. Sorry, but perfect only accepts perfect.

This leaves the judged and the judge both outside of perfection, and for the duration of that sentence, both in the same jail. This leaves the All One, you and I, alone, somewhere on the same yardstick that measures separation from perfection. Here we are, in our two track reality, perfect beings, in our perceived imperfection, reconciled, but yet, for all intents and purposes, awaiting reconciliation.

This state of relationship between us and other, between us and The Divine, is also mirrored exactly inside of us where parts of ourselves are left in 4D hell of separation, awaiting the love ambassador that you are to show up, and begin a magical reconciliation process.

Love changed everything and love keeps on changing everything. We are that change. Love is just having its own fun, and we are all invited into it, where no pain is denied, no level of hell on earth, but is instead felt profoundly in the minutest detail of hurt and separation for the portal that it is, for what it restores in us and to us, even expanding on the perfect love that originally undertook such a quest, as only infinite love can do.

We are perfection, improving on perfection.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Healing To Access Love Flow

Letting Love in is to let Love flow. To let Love flow is to open up to all possibility, to our vulnerability. I felt myself a bit constricted this morning after being in so much goodness. It is an interesting mechanism to keep feeling.

As I bring my awareness to the part of me that is still needing to govern the flow of Love, I feel compassion and to say ‘I Love You’ even in the constriction. In that, they loosen. My masculine and feminine. They see each other anew. Not in conflict, but in union to open the curtains more to let in and let out the flow of Divine Love that is inherent in us all. Universal and Eternal.

Feeling leads to alchemical healing. Healing opens the gates to more Love, more Truth, more Joy, more Passion, more Intimacy. The Infinite at our doorstep.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.