The Great Reconiliation

My, there is a lot moving and shaking going on in consciousness right now! I feel this Great Reconciliation between the Heart and the Head, the Masculine and the Feminine, the Dark and the Light going on right now. In that process of Reconciliation it appears that there is a great polarity being drawn to the surface to look at and determine where we want to go with that.

There was a great polarity happening here amongst us as a family/community that has taken each of us to new places inside that have had unforeseen, yet not surprising, results such as reunion and deepening between souls and the Divine Beloved Itself.

The veils and/or compartments that have been holding Truth and Love at bay are starting to crumble. I can feel how parts of me have identified with those veils and walls. The crumble can create a rumble inside. It takes more effort to suppress that to express now. If that is the case, more Truth will come to the surface all over and that can be messy and scary.

I feel how the Masculine polarity has held a large swath of territory in consciousness. With the Feminine pole coming into balance, it can feel to the masculine that it is being sieged or devoured. Losing its control hold and its identity in a way. Yet what I feel from the Feminine is an Embracing. An Invitation back into Wholeness. It can look like a devouring from a certain perspective. But this whole process is inevitable. It IS happening…

I feel a brotherhood of men that are wanting to be a part of the Great Reconciliation inside and out. There are Knights and Kings of Heart that are seeking to balance these energies inside even if they are not consciously aware of it. This may be coming out in depression, anxiety, or frustration. He doesn’t know what the fuck is up and the default consciousness may be fear or violence toward self and other.
In this process, I feel the Feminine can assist by claiming her own needs, follow her own heart’s desires and intuition, and heal the polarity of the Masculine within. The bond with the Beloved is the shelter in the storm of the rumbles for us all. It takes us to the other side of the other side.

I am here to offer my heart to those that are feeling that desire for inner reconciliation and a return to Balance and Wholeness within. I feel compassion and care for all men that are struggling with so many emotions and circumstances. There is a path to health and inner prosperity and joy. Please do keep me bookmarked in your heart as someone who wants to help. I have been through many Dark Nights and rounds of addictions and despair.

Sending much love to all humanity in this process of Reconciliation.


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

My Long List Of Spiritual Attainments!

By Taliesin Awen

I’d like to share with you some of my more attained spiritual practices, not to brag or anything like that, but more to be a good example if it’s helpful.

Now, just to be clear and full disclosure and all, there are a few attainments that I haven’t quite realized, that I’m still working on, things like teleportation or levitation and the like. But that doesn’t take away really from what I have, through a lot of fucking hard work been able to achieve.

Let me see, where to begin?

I am able to watch the ‘watch’ thing on Facebook of late and scroll through endless videos of people doing stupid things, sometimes for like a full hour, quite effortlessly actually. I had no idea that table tennis got that advanced since I was into it. That Ozzy guy is a bit rough around the edges with his voice over reviews, but kudos to him for just being himself. The odd scantily clad beach babe inevitably comes up and I usually try to not linger too long, as she doesn’t feel that exciting really, taunting me with her non-offer, except maybe for a titillating moment. Between getting bored and a bit sore from laying around doing nothing really, I then check my Facebook posts for likes and accolades, before passing out.

Then I’m also quite well versed on a Tetris like iPad game, a teenage obsession that crept back into my life recently, nothing too complicated with too many levels and such, but yet in that vortex another half hour or more can pass into oblivion.

It’s also on my list to be able to pass through walls, which isn’t going too well, just yet, but I am really good at consistently banging into walls. If that doesn’t feel like too attained of a thing, just ask the angels, they have the through walls thing going on, but most of them can’t bump into a wall if their life depended on it. I’ve bumped into so much shit, I fear going bald for all the scars and war wounds that will be revealed. I’ll just be sure and wear one of my favorite spiritual teacher hats when the time for that comes.

What else? Right, I’m really good at early morning meditation, but just in my own developed style or dharma if you will. My mind can go in six directions at once, and remain busy as hell, talk about ‘multidimensionality’! I usually drink tea and sit up in bed while I do meditation though as that lotus position twisty thing is as uncomfortable as hell, believe me. I maintain some really good focus until it’s time to write a post or again, as I said, check on Facebook for likes or accolades, or to break my fast on some chocolate or cacao ceremony as some call it, a perfect excuse for chocolate being the first thing I eat on a day with nothing better to do.

Prior to my enlightenment, I was stuck in relentless daily regular consistent practices like yoga and exercise and such, but now, I’m settling naturally into being able to slough off those things easily for another day,… or month. Breaking these nasty addictions has been a major game changer.

Forgive me if any of this sounds like bragging, but it just felt important to not be afraid to toot my own horn. How else can anyone else truly learn if those of us who have gone before are not willing to say it like it is?

What else? Sometimes, I can say or write some pretty brilliant things that people seem to like and be touched by. Where it all comes from, I’m still trying to figure out, really. But what I am getting figured out is that the one thing that really pisses a part of me off is pretending to be something I’m not, so that’s another one I’m still working on, after way the hell too much time spent posturing and pretending, which I’m discovering more and more to be maybe thee root of all stress in my life. That pattern comes up now big time in trying digest where and why a treasured romance recently suddenly came apart at the seams.

I want to get back to play, to really learning, or unlearning maybe more like, how to really be in the abandonment of play. The young kids I see more and more just don’t give a fuck somehow in this really delicious way, and God, I’d love to get more like that. So don’t think for a moment that I’ve got absolutely everything figured out just because I’m admittedly ahead of you in these ways I’m describing.

One more thing while I’m on a roll, I’ve gotten quite expert at reading any room and showing up with what’s expected and hiding away things that I guess wouldn’t score me too many points, or worse, get me kicked out of the game. All that has done me a lot of good, or so I thought, even made me plenty of money over the years, even if it hollowed out most of the deeper meaning in many of my relationships. When I say meaning, I think I’m speaking to the freedom of finding the self permission to just fucking being real in an ever deepening way. If it ain’t real; warts, language, offense and the like, what the hell good is it? Maybe you and I both could use some offense!?

I’m pretty good too at overeating. Why eat just the right amount of all the right things when you can bloat yourself out for the rest of the day and night? Nothing you can’t fix with some dessert thrown on top for good measure to assuage the disconnect of eating about twice what I actually needed.

Anyway, I’m running out of more examples just now, but it felt important to at least give you the high points and set the record straight, for my self worth, to not be afraid to say it straight. And it shouldn’t take you as long as it’s taken me, with me blazing the way for you, a true exemplary wayshower.

Now that I said all that, I feel ready to get going on the next challenges. After all, as they say, if you’re not going forward, you’re going backward. So here’s to fully ass-ending or ascending or whatever that’s called that everyone’s gotten their knickers in a knot over. I’m kind of sure we’ll all end up at the finish line sooner or later, on our asses maybe, but there nonetheless, so not to worry if you’re a bit slower than me. I look forward to being in that moment with each of you and debriefing this whole thing, what we got figured out, and what we didn’t.

You may even be having a better time at all this than I did. I’d be happy to pass the baton and you get to be the shining example, and I get to be a follower for a change.

We’re all different and all God’s children, don’t forget. Hopefully I’m not too far ahead and you’ll still be able to relate. I don’t want to be so heavenly minded as to not be of any earthly good. And of course, I need to make a living at this while I’m at it, so if you care to send money, I’ll be sure to spend that on ice cream and the like.

Yours in sacred service,


As you may have seen in a recent post, I’m in process of changing my first name to Taliesin. This writing felt like Raphael, who I’m now relating to as a part of me, and him wanting to part with a layer, a role, that he doesn’t want to take with him as he retires from the lead and heads out for some very well deserved and needed time away in Golden Earth. Thank you to each of you witnessing and feeling with me. 💚🙏🏻🏄🏻‍♂️🌹 Taliesin

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month:

Raphael Has Changed His First Name To Taliesin

By Taliesin Awen

Dearly Beloveds known and to be known,

Well, I did it! I’ve changed my name in the annals of my own heart and with those closest to me and it’s time to announce that here after sharing deeply about the intention here in a recent FB post recently, hoping that it doesn’t come up for you as too weird or abrupt.

Allow me to say a couple more important things first…

I decided NOT to start a whole new FB page, contrary to what I said I was going to do – thank god! That was said in a moment of de-spiration from within the deeply polarized vortex I went through last week. I’m really relieved to remain here and bring the new energies of what’s unfolding for me to share with those here.

I’d really love to be on your ‘see first’ list here on FB because I feel deeply called to be joined with those who’d like to share a resonance flow together and deepening ongoing journey together.

If you don’t feel drawn to have that together and by chance find it hard to relate to my energy, it’s okay if you need to unfriend too or just choose a safer distance. I trust that life is taking both of us where we need to go. I just want to increase the intention of being together at the orbit that feels right.

Thank you for who you are and what you add to my life.

Okay, that was the really important stuff, but there’s still more stuff to share.

In case you’re wondering, my new name is pronounced Tal-ee-ES-in. It may be a bit of a stumble for a while, but that’s all part of it. If you call me Raphael out of habit, that’s quite okay too. I’m relating to Raphael as a very beloved part of me, giving him the opportunity to receive my heart, instead of the long journey of being my heart that he now gets to rest from if that makes sense.

I feel like I recently went through the biggest death and rebirth canal of my life recently, I’m sure there’s more to go, but I do feel to be finding some handrails and seeing some light of a bright new and glorious day in the moment. This has been about going through my biggest heartbreak this life in completing my romance with Jelelle and worse, even fearing not having her and close feminine beloveds in my life in some way, shape or form that I’ve known and come to treasure so deeply. I’m on the higher side at the moment of what has felt like quite a manic ride of the lowest lows and the highest highs. I’d check myself in if I didn’t have some sense of deep trust and surrender to the process. My heart has been and is being broken open in a new way to receive love and to serve love, and dang, it feels so fucking alive!

I feel called to gather a round table of men to share in this aliveness of heart and soul. The beloved women in our lives and the feminine within will not be unwelcome in any way, quite the opposite actually. We just need private space to process and feel and heal together with what’s real now. I see this round table as like a gathering of Arthur’s knights where we are each arising kings and equals, each with unique gifts and contributions, where each man participates with his sovereignty intact and present, rather than something you give up at the door and have hung before you like a carrot that you can then earn back in exchange for your conformity and good behaviour. I know that last sentence is saying a lot, but I believe it has much to do with why men in general (as compared to women) are more distant to deep inner work, emotionally and spiritually – because they don’t want to be emasculated or dominated as they surrender vulnerably to love and let go to find their true power.

I’m deeply sharing this calling with my beloved closest friend and deepest heart and soul brother, Gabriel Heartman who I have known and lived in deep community with for nearly a decade, lived in 3 countries with, but now am actually living together with, sharing dreams, desires, heartbreaks and heart openings. The inspiration is rising and there are some sweet announcements to make soon, just after we share them and feel them and shape them with our closest beloveds first. Please stay tuned – hence the request above to be on your ‘see first’ list.

Okay, I guess I can’t tell you everything in one post, but let me say for now that you will be seeing more of Gabriel and I, expanding out with more and more men, live streams, Conversations With Men videos, ‘courses’ are definitely in the picture, too.

We’re just looking for ways to channel and share in a calling, to nourish and be nourished. Much of this content we are feeling to make by donation or to charge for as opposed to creating free content, as that doesn’t seem to really work for any of us. We definitely need the money and those we share with need to put some skin in the game for the game to be engaging and come alive.

We are just about to share, (and ask a donation for) a video we recorded as a guided meditation to meet your grief directed to men. This feels like the biggest portal for men to enter their sacred calling. It also deeply thrusts them into communication with the parts of themselves they haven’t yet bridged contact with. And it also thrusts them into the world of their own soul, their own Metasoul brothers and sisters in the most grounded and relational way. So please stay tuned for that.

Both Gabriel and I offer one on one sessions for men and if you’d like to explore that, we’d love to hear from you, serve you and receive your financial support in exchange for. The cost is $100 USD for a 90 minute session together and they are transformational beyond words!

We’re both feeling to put out our tip jars as we go on our stuff. Again, we need and want the exchange of your energy, love in the form of money. You can share some here: I would be so grateful and tickled to receive your love in this form and allow it to be part of a deepening sacred bond together.

Thank you also to each of you who share my stuff with your FB circle of friends! Precious introductions.

Let’s do this and let’s do it together,

Taliesin (and Raphael)

Tal-ee-ES-in 🙂

Tons of love!

Our sessions Page:

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month:

The Depth Of Our Soul Cry

Soul cry….

Tender tears. Feeling loss. Feeling change. Feeling what could have been… if only. Feeling the suffering and pain of so many timelines and other souls in the Now.

It is personal. It is global. It is collective. It is the longing and the ache of harmony. The longing for communication between hearts and souls that may be unresolved for fear of seeing and feeling our hidden pain and shadow.

Soul Cry runs deep. This time last year I was alone for my upcoming birthday. It was a grueling experience to feel that complete alone-ness from a part of me. Yet all I could do is create space for it. Call out to the Divine for holding and Grace. It was a loss of family to my parts that led me to my Inner Orphan. The separated God-baby within. The connection through the flood of pain was a life-line over the days and weeks that followed. I tapped into the separation wound that helped me begin my way back Home by bringing my Orphan back into my Heart.

This year I will not be alone, but it will be different. Family/community is sorting and shifting. There is sadness, yet there is a trust and a grace that will never go away from that experience last year. There is Grand Sorting out underway for us all. Between the masculine and the feminine, good and evil, us and them. It is duality seeking harmony, but that is a messy business.

I feel SoulCry leads us to our most profound experience of Life. It is the rain that clears the sky so that we can see the depth of our true nature as Love Itself. We are not Alone because we are All-one. So the experience I had last year was a personal yet collective aching and calling out to Love. To feel loved. To be loved. To become Love.

When we hear about men, women, and children being abused and treated like commodities in a most Unholy way, underneath the Rage is SoulCry. It is the realization that there is a deep rift in Love’s ocean floor. A place where we dare not tread for it encapsulates our deepest ache and fear of separation from the Holy. To go into the cry is to not get lost in it or to suffer in it, but to feel the textures of it when it does come. It can be lost or tortured soul aspects that are seeking the light of your Essence and the warmth of your heart.

It is usually after the resting of the SoulTire that SoulCry may come into the space. Your soul may have been busy in fighting and searching for so long that it has glossed over the deeper pain. That is understandable and even self-loving. Yet there are times we are brought to SoulCry when it just runs out of steam for anything else. It is like letting a tap open on a reservoir, it doesn’t have to be knocked down completely. Though sometimes it just happens that way. Your life preserver is the feeling and the crying.

On the other side of the SoulCry is a new land. There is clarity. There is a new relationship to Life. There is a new awareness of the Power of Love and how we can be an ambassador of it to the Dark, for the Darkness is what gives Love its purpose. Your SoulCry is a part of your SoulFire. How we relate to it, permit it, and hold it changes us and the world profoundly.


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Tired Soul

Soul tired…

When the fire of my soul was lit up a couple of days ago what happened was an illumination of shadow and darkness. How could it not? Think of what happens when you are walking in a cave and you light your torch. You see all the nooks and crannies of the cave walls, the ground you have been walking on, and the unseeable places ahead. You find yourself in the catacombs of your soul, of the Self.

Like the proverbial ‘moths to a flame’ come the very things that are in need of healing and that Light of Love you just sparked up. The wounds, the memories, the buried ‘treasures’ of your soul’s story. You have become the explorer as well as the ambassador to that very LoveLight you are carrying in your heart.

When the wave of wounding came up I could feel the Soul Tire. The weariness of the suffering and pain that aspects of me have been in. This suffering can be held by parts of us until it becomes too much for them to bear. We need to go into the Soul to get a broader and deeper vision of what is holding this Soul tiredness.

This has been an ongoing part of my journey as it has felt like a spiral staircase many times. “Haven’t I been here before?” Yes, I have. But each time the density of the ‘air’ I am walking through is thinner and thinner. Less time is being spent there. I would come upon a judgement of myself that I am here again. That as a healer, space-holder, and a desired mate I need to be ‘over’ this already.

Yet, I just keep hearing from my guides that this is all part of being a human ascending. It is a process and it takes the route it takes. The judgement just makes it take longer. Maybe that is needed until it isn’t anymore. It is how we respond to the spiral that moves it further along.

The Soul Tire needs our attention and a safe place to land. It is a place within where the Soul Fire is less of a raging inferno but rather a crackling warmth from the hearth of the Divine. It is an etheric ICU or less-dramatically an Inn in the middle of a long journey that provides the comforts of Home. A place to recover and to fill up on Love.

The quest of the soul can be seen and felt as a Trail of Tears and Fears, or it can become the beginning of something profoundly beautiful that we have convinced ourselves is a distant or fairy-tale land. That choice is ultimately up to us. As above, so below.

So this day, maybe this week, I rest. I feel. I love all the aspects of me that need to come into my hearth. It has been a long road for them and it is time to shorten the distance by bringing them into Presence. To let the Soul Tire become a thing of the past as it is held by the SoulFire.


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Illumination Of SoulFire


It is coming into me and causing all sorts of rumblings, intentions, and reactions. It is a flame that is always with us. It cannot be extinguished at its core. It is Eternal and Internal. It is what keeps us going and can also keep parts of us suffering due to its inextinguishable nature.

In its leading edge, SoulFire is passion with purpose and deep meaning. It is unstoppable in its quest for service, in creativity, in expression, in construction, and deconstruction. It burns away what is not alignment and illuminates what is.

HOW this is done comes from the Heart. SoulFire can burn and hurt. It can have consequences that were unintended but necessary for it to flourish. We can own the fallout of those consequences with our compassion and vulnerability. In that process, Love is not lost, it is just reconfigured and transformed.

There can be an inner struggle for many of us to access and maintain this SoulFire. There are many layers of protection and doubt that may come in to dull or put out this fire, for very good reason. Our SoulFire may have a history of collateral damage. Maybe even a graveyard. The Shadow of SoulFire may be a grim one. But it is also a powerful change agent. A servant of Love in many forms.As we live through a most unprecedented time in our modern history, we are facing circumstances and information that can throw a wet blanket on this fire. It can make it REALLY hard to see and feel. You may see others who have it and may compare and judge yourself for the lack or inaccessiblity. This may put parts of you into a despair or suffering loop. This has been my pattern for a big portion of my life. It found its way into my field just last night.

Then I felt the voice of my SoulFire come into the space this morning. WOOOSH! “Fuck no! Time out. This is NOT who you are or are meant to be. You have wounding, yes. You have more to transmute into Love. BUT you are not this loop, this suffering, this voice. You are a man on a mission for Love. For Liberation. For Heaven on Earth. You are bigger than what you can imagine and that scares the shit out of parts of you. So let’s be with that WHILE you set yourself ablaze with SoulFire. That holds the space for the reactions rather than becoming them. It transmutes them back to Love and into Purpose, just in time to get back to work!”

Well. Okay then! That voice has helped me move to my next phases of growth and service. I feel how so many are afflicted with this same dynamic and I really want to serve that going forward. I know it so damn intimately. Almost too intimately in the past, but that is what qualifies me to serve it. SoulFire is what I came here on this planet to embody and to serve.

I look forward to the next leg of this journey into my SoulFire expression and how and what it manifests. This has been born from all that has been going on in the world so there is gratitude for that. The Light many times can only be seen in the Dark. Here’s to you finding your SoulFire in the eye of the storm. And, as always, I am here to support you on that quest should you feel the need for that holding, healing, and witnessing.


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Crossroads At The Conjunction Solstice

I admit that I do not have a lot of ‘this life’ knowledge of astrology and astronomy to get the full breadth of what this upcoming Solstice/Conjunction means from those set of glasses. I FEEL the epicness of it. I feel it in myself and what has been happening around me in community, in others processes, and my own journey of Becoming.

In all of that, I witness great opporTUNEity. An attunement to what we truly are as sacred humans, not just pawns in a sycophantic chess match of fear. In the beginning of this whole drama that is playing itself out, I could feel a sense of a bifurcation. At first, it came as some literal, external process but of course it is really just a projection of what is happening within each of us.

I have been feeling a ‘crossroads’ or ‘forks in the road’ in my meditations. One that is paved with Fear, and the other with Love. The Fear Path is one that is clear and yet subtle at the same time. On that path, I see Guilt as a huge influencer in decisions and choices. Guilt keeps us from really choosing what is in our best and highest interest. Another influencer is Unworth. Do we feel that we are worthy and deserving of Love and all it wants to invite us into in our courage, desire, and inner knowing?

As we move into and through these con-junctions, the support and the intensity both increase. We are supported to make choices, yet parts of us can struggle with them. Choices of letting go of old patterns of relating to others, ourselves, and the world. When we get to the root of our needs and wants, the choices become clearer and the rumbles get louder. We are called into choosing a road, grieving the old, and trusting in the uncertain New.

What I feel the Conjunction brings us is the Courage to go into the Unknown of Mind and the Known of Heart. The clearer we are about what serves our heart and soul, the clearer we are about how to serve from that heart and soul. Fusing to our smallness, our fear, our unworth will amplify the suffering. It is time to go into the birth canal of our choice and feel the fear along the way.

We are leaving it behind by feeling it. Grieving with it. Dying and birthing with it. Love is both a death doula and a birth doula. I have been bridging this within myself from part to part, aspect to aspect through Divine holding, connecting with Yeshua, and leaning and learning from my community. I see and feel the future inside of myself. I can taste this Golden Earth when I turn off the static and tune into Soul. It lives Here Now within each of us.

We are presented with challenges as this ascension train continues on its foretold path. Those challenges are met from the inside out and then put into practice in this training ground we have all co-created. What a spectacle of Love when you can see it from that perspective! We are all seeking love even in what may feel in the darkest of times. There is support in so many ways for you to reach for should you feel the need. Consider myself and SoulFullHeart as one of those. This is what we have come here to do and be in this world.

Sacred humans rising and loving.


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

King Arthur’s Call To Men

By Raphael Awen

I believe this is a moment like no other, a moment of opportunity, a moment to choose deep and profound change, a moment to embrace all of you, from your highest leading ‘I Am’ Self all the way down to your ‘lowest’ edge where parts of you live in doubt and insecurity. 

Nothing is actually lower or higher. You will never become any more sacred than you already are! If that is true, then you and I finally have the freedom, to look deeply into the mirrors of our lives, our circumstances, our relationships and take the deepest inventory of what’s also true there, as none of it can take away or add to the fact that ‘I already AM, all that I ever might become’. 

I am very deeply interested in all that I might become. I am also very deeply interested in all that I already am. While this has always felt true for me on some level on my journey, I can tell you that it has felt like my biggest challenge as well. It has waxed and waned. At times, even very recently, I’ve seen my bigness stare me in the face and it has scared parts of me to the core. Numerous hideouts and comfortable ceilings have again been discovered and negotiated with, and let go of, only to be faced with another layer of vulnerability, insecurity and desire. I suspect that this is the whole deal of being here. It gets to move for me from more private to more service-based as I transparently live this out loud. 

I’m no longer of the illusion that these kinds of challenges where I must face a new place in me feeling contracted or small will somehow become ‘healed’ or a thing of the past. If I AM is truly infinite greatness, then any and all achievements or attainments, no matter how great, how relieving, how homecoming, how much of an entrance into my personal promised land – they still remain a humble kindergarten. I’m starting to get used to that! – another celebrated ‘attainment’ in and of itself, where any and all movements either forward or backward are part of the magical and infinite I AM that I AM. 

The other big thing all of this offers me is that the only one I can ever be a saviour for, is me and me alone. I can’t offer you anything you don’t already possess. With this clarity, I can however, hold space to offer you, YOU. 

When Moses, standing in his small self perceived stature before a burning bush manifestation of God, hearing the voice of God calling him and sending him, asked God a very understandable question: “Who do I say sent me?” and God answers, “Tell them thee I AM that I Am has sent you.”

I’m here today standing before mankind, my kind, saying “The I Am that I Am, has sent me to you.” I’m here, in your hearing, speaking to your I AM that I AM, before the burning bush of your desires, your heart aches, your heart passions, inviting you into something tangible, alive and real, inside and outside. 

I’ve crossed a threshold into my own promised land and feel it is more important than ever to invite other men who are ready to enter theirs with me. I can’t do what I’m called to do, or be what I’m called to BE, in a box or on my own. I get to walk out my more in the resonance field that’s generated with other men doing the same.

I’ve done that primarily with Gabriel Heartman for many years in a time where most efforts to expand numbers were met with more inner expansion than any kind of outward expansion. Time and process was needed mostly in private. I feel and see that changing now. Something is shifting in men and in the core of my I Am, informing all of me with a new resolve, as well as a sacred and ongoing completion of my own very real push-pull relationship with my own bigness. I want that more than I want life. This is life to me.

What is life to you? What do you most deeply want? Are you prepared to reach out for a lifeline when one is thrown to you, or will you continue praying for a lifeline instead? There’s a time to ask and a time to act.

I may be sounding fearfully close to a promo salesperson now, and to be sure, I AM trying to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on you. It’s strange though, because no words that I might write or speak could ever actually achieve this. It’s only and ever achievable by living it out inside of myself, and you picking up on that and choosing the same for yourself. 

Our mutual benefit is then easy and natural, whether we go any further in any kind of together way. 

If however, the particular signature frequency of my deal feels like it may be or wants to be a part of your signature deal, then I deeply invite you to check out who I AM and what I offer. 

This video is me here in the Abbey ruins in Glastonbury, offering a connection with one of my beautiful Metasoul brothers; King Arthur. How fitting as he knows how to assemble and lead a round table of men! 

Gabriel Heartman and myself both serve men in one on one sessions helping men embrace all of themselves in ongoing process via a specific path. Here’s a link to more about sessions:

Sessions may well be a bit too close, too soon, for where you are, if you’ve just discovered us. If so, I invite you to consider following us at whatever distance feels comfortable for you, while serving your heartache and opportunity. 

A great way to do that is to join our SoulFullHeart Portal for $15 usd per month, a private on-line community where you get to share with like minded men and women, as well as a men’s only portion of the Portal, and receive exclusive content, writings, videos and transmissions. Here’s an invite to our Portal.

If you’ve read this through this far, then I know you are feeling the truth of the first words I spoke today – that this is a moment of opportunity like no other. Other moments will be sure to come, if that’s what your I AM needs to orchestrate for you, but what if this moment right now is your moment, or at least one of them? What if what I’m offering you is offered to you for you to make a deeper personal connection, to see where it takes you, to see if what you are feeling right now, continues to self validate as a truly profound going on place? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Gabriel would love to hear from you. 

I can tell you from the depths of my heart and experience that I Am wanting, willing and ready to serve you, to show up for you as you show up for you. 

If you are a woman who’s read this all the way through, bless you! And allow yourself to take in all these words directed at men, and feel them for your own inner masculine parts of you. Also, let your sacred yearning and desire for men and the missing masculine to rise up and claim the inhabitation of their long awaited I AM selves, be a gift of alchemy transmitted to all the men feeling this, whether by my words today, or by the same download that’s being broadcast into the collective from many different sources right NOW. 

If you know of other men who you feel are ready for such a time as this, please share this post with them. 

May we each arise to this occasion to find ultimately that there was ever only one of us and one occasion all the while, one truly worth showing up for. 

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month:

Keeping Your Heart-on

By Raphael Awen

A question came up in a lively and vulnerable men’s discussion we were having about what the differences are about energizing love from the heart chakra as compared to the second chakra, and how one can dominate over the other. I offer my response and invite the wider input from our feminine counterparts here.

This is such a great question and part of an ongoing quest, and like all great quests, the question is never fully answered, inviting us deeper into its many aspects and layers. Any ‘answer’ I give to the question is really only one response, thus intended to hopefully open out more questions than provide any final answers. 🙂

What comes up for me is feeling how difficult it has been for men to come from both chakras at the same time. There’s a lot in that saying about how difficult it is for a man to maintain a ‘hardon’ and a ‘hearton’ at the same time. Men tend to come from one place at the expense of the other, and if they can come from both, they toggle between the two, going limp in one in order to enter the other. Being open and coming from both at the same time represents both a vulnerability and a power that much fewer men are comfortable with. 

What underlies this challenge is the differences between our heart chakra and our second chakra. One is the seat of our unity, our union with all things and with all life, with having it all; our heart, where nothing lacks or is missing. The other, our second chakra is the seat of our gender, which feels incomplete without the other half, and thus vulnerable to not finding the completion it wants and needs. Men’s first healthy initiations, if they were met with a healthy anchoring in the root/grounding chakra are then about awakening to their sexuality, power and creativity in the second chakra, discovering what makes them unique and desirable, their gender based expression and worth. 

More to the point of the question above is what are the differences of the love that flows from the heart chakra vs the love that flows from the second chakra, (if i’m grasping the intent of the question). I’d say that love that flows from the heart is rooted in an energy and recognition of the unconditional love that underlies and weaves through all of life and the universe. Heart love validates everything, even differences and even expressions of hatred speak to the inescapable interconnectedness of everything, bound together by love and oneness. The heart can containerize it all. 

Love that flows from the second chakra however is not ‘unconditional’ in the same way. It is conditioned on personal attraction. I’m either drawn or I’m not. ‘Lust’ in this way can come from the second chakra, as in a strong, overwhelming desire for someone or something, and it is based upon something deeply desired for whatever reasons, healthy or not. It’s very specific and dualistic. ‘I like this, I don’t like that’. 

With my mate, I want to be loved in both of these ways at the same time. One doesn’t cancel out the other. I want to know and feel that I’m valued as a human being, and as a soul regardless of who and what I am or are not. I want to feel my intrinsic worth outside of my performance or lack thereof. If that’s there, I can safely feel comfortable to feel and process more of my not-so-loved traits within the relationship to realize more of the growth that is the point of all relationships. 

I also want to be loved however for my unique characteristics, for who I am specifically and what I bring to the relationship, which is very much conditional. I want to feel like hot stuff. A mate who wants to be loved only unconditionally is asking for their mate to be more of a parent to them, which is understandable as we all have wounded inner children wanting and needing this kind of love. 

As I get to play with my desirability and my creativity and my power in relationship, this becomes a powerful mirror and arena for my growth. The vulnerable piece here is of course feeling the parts of us who don’t feel like they are enough, or worthy, or capable of being brightly attractive. 

The feeling of receiving this kind of love in a relationship, (and it could be a mateship, or a friendship), is about feeling my desirability reflected to me in the words, actions and energy of the other. That’s a dicey ground to be lured into of course as it not only promises deep potential reward, but also threatens the deepest rejection. I believe this is why we entered this ground of duality, of ‘this over that’. Ultimately, it’s about all differences being consumed in the overwhelm of love, but on our way to that ultimate reconciliation of love are a whole bunch of lessons and experiences and feelings that are the whole juicy point of duality. 

On the giving end of this conditional love, your mate wants to feel hit on. She wants to feel you are taken with her, that she alone is the passion of your heart, soul and body. Her and none other. If she’s done some of her work, she won’t be impressed however with any ‘dutiful roses’. She will only be watered by you really and truly being into her and smitten. When something less than that is true, in my experience, it has to do with not bringing all of my truth, especially if it’s about an irritation or something I, or a part of me doesn’t like. It feels truly amazing when you are in this zone of being abandoned to your want of your mate and she can lean and rest into that as well as open her heart and body. 🙂

Then to the last piece of your great question – about how coming from one chakra or the other can dominate over the other…

What better arena could there be to play with these needs and dualities. A dual begins with an attempt to dominate and ends with its resolution of that tension, returning to love. Both are needed. ‘Erectile dysfunction’ afflicts the heart and the penis, and is really about this unresolved and unloved dominance when you feel into it. Remaining in one and not embracing the other (transcending duality like most spirituality attempts to do) is to remain uninitiated, and immature in the truest sense, and just doesn’t feel fun to me. I don’t think it does to anyone really. It’s just been a hideout for our vulnerability. Romantic love offers possibly the greatest growth ground and crucible for our growth in this way and it has much to do with the vulnerability and the attempts to answer that vulnerability with dominance. 

All of this is of course also true within ourselves and the dynamic between our own inner feminine and inner masculine parts, even more true actually, as in the inner is the real origin of what’s playing on the outside and so going inward becomes the healthy choice to seek any resolve to the whole dilemma.

Thanks for the great question and thanks for taking in the lengthy, albeit a very much partial ‘answer’, which hopefully left the question more unanswered than answered. 🙂 

More feminine and masculine input welcome, (regardless of your gender…)

The above conversation was part of our new private (and paid) SoulFullHeart Portal – please check us out if this calls to you. Link is here.

Much Love,


Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month:

The New Earth Story Centered In Ease

At any moment we can feel an ease or an unease. Choosing to consistently not feel and transmute the unease can lead to dis-ease, a store of this unhealthy energy.

While we are in the midst of global feardemic, the unease continues to rise with each news cycle and governmental decree in order to manage it, albeit in a haphazard way with no real clue as to what they are really doing other than adding fuel to dysfunction and dystopia. The unease barometer climbs.
So where can you find ease in this environment that is laden with traps everywhere you look? You know. It can only really be found in you. Always.

It can be found in breathing.
It can be found in giving.
It can be found in feeling yourself.
It can be found in connecting with animals and nature.
It can be found in meditating and music.

It can be found in tuning out the very things that bring that unease and tuning in to the parts of you that have been used to that uneasy feeling because it has always been there like a best friend, yet you didn’t realize it.

I have come to an awareness recently that unease was the way a part of me interfaced with the world. It was instituted at an early age and in my Metasoul. It became institutionalized inside of me and therefore nearly unconscious. A Pavlovian response to Life and Love.

I have had to see it and feel it. Hold it and love it. I had to ceremonially say goodbye to it as if it were a long-time lover. What would life really be like in ‘ease’ when all there has been is unease?

That is where we all get to co-write the New Script, not just edit the old one. Burn that shit up cuz it has no happy ending no matter what you do to it. Let’s start again…from the inside. Rewrite that code from the core of your being and let that Love Bug be the new virus.

With ease…
With grace…
With courage…
With IN…


Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.