The No Man’s Land Of Our Collective Grief

By  Raphael Awen

If we take a step outside of this most challenging polarity moving through us right now as a species, we see where there’s something none of us really comfortable feeling.

If the anti injection people are correct, then there’s a wave of destruction and fear that is already here and scaling up at a pace we can only guess at.

If the pro experimental injection people are correct, then our sovereignty and autonomy is best left in the hands of a governing body who are better equipped to lead our lives.

Either way, we are giving up something of such huge proportions. I don’t think there’s a single one of us yet who’s felt the deepening scale of this.

Raging at it, or turning over and accepting it feel like two polarized ways of starting to work through it, but there’s still a huge no man’s land that I haven’t seen anyone step into.

In that no man’s land is something to feel.

Trying to describe it almost does it a disservice, for it can only really be felt, not described. But it has something to do with mourning and grief on a scale we haven’t known in this life.

Life as you and I knew it is changing rapidly, daily and minute by minute. Something big is dying and not returning, regardless of which side of the issue(s) you find yourself on.

People on both sides of the polarity believe they have spared themselves from some personal suffering. ‘According to their beliefs’, as Yeshua would say, ‘so be it unto them’. Beliefs are such strong personal reality creators, but they only go so far.

There’s a shared reality that whether it’s recognized or not, is happening. That reality is the shared boat we are sailing in. The hole in your end of the boat IS actually an issue to me. There’s only one boat, even as we are afforded individual bubbles within that boat, but OUR boat is sinking.

We all chose to be a part of this transition, and to give up a quality of an old life to be a part of anchoring in a new life. Whether you are injection injured, (and my heart breaks for you if you are) or out promoting getting the next booster, we are going somewhere.

There’s somewhere we won’t be returning to.

That change calls into question every plan, every intention, every purpose, every sense of meaning. All of it is up for continual revision as we sort through what can and does feel crazy making and disorienting.

Nothing makes sense in the old way. In the interim, we’re all grasping for the new way that isn’t quite here yet.

I don’t know any other way to be with it, other than to feel this surrender to what is, open my heart to being further activated into this care for myself and our beautiful collective that would choose such transition through such confusion as a planetary group soul’s higher choice and service to the divine’s unfolding of itself through us.

WE chose this. WE created it. The polarity is of OUR creation. When you accept that, you get baptized into being a YOU in service of the WE.

You get to care. You get to feel. You get to mourn. You get to weep the tears others aren’t ready yet to weep. You even get to thrive in love as you take part in honoring the death all around.

You get to be in the real moment that is here now.

And in that moment we see that the deeper our polarities, the deeper our shared reality.

Raphael

We are offering a gathering place of community engagement around a shared new experience of life in community, vulnerability and transparency at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/, in exchange for $22.22 USD per month. If you feel drawn, we would love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Spiritual Mastery As An Avoidance Of Vulnerability

By  Raphael Awen

The path of spiritual mastery or attainments has been basically useless to me for several years, other than to often trip me up in comparison or self judgment games.

The thing was, I used to be able to muster some impressive consistent self discipline and regimen, set goals and stick to them, and that way of being in life doesn’t let go easily, even as it collapses at the same time.

I don’t think I’m alone in this by a long shot. I think what I’m feeling personally is more of a reflection of what the masculine is coming to terms with now as consciousness itself shifts and changes.

Mastery served us well for a time to come to know our power. It moved us from an inferiority complex, but now threatens us with a superiority complex. Both however are non-relational and both are non-vulnerable, and both don’t actually have mastery over anything in the bigger picture of what we really want and need.

At nineteen, I went out jogging every single day for over a year, without missing a day, rain, snow or shine. How I felt didn’t matter, other than holding onto this feeling of I can do whatever I set my mind to. I thought at the time that I’d do this for the rest of my life, because with each passing day, my record of achievement was getting bigger, better as well as harder to lose.

That’s the thing with attainment and spiritual masteries. They are like rolling a stone up a hill that will one day succumb to gravity, and the higher up you roll the stone, the greater its velocity and path of destruction to your self perception and who knows what else when it gives way to nature, as it is sure to do one day.

Men particularly have been so addicted to doing the right thing and the good thing, the thing that once did have meaning, purpose and even connection, with love, life and nature, that they naturally fear letting go of. It matters less how noble the thing, just heaven forbid that you should be without some animating thing.

How could something so good lose its value over time?

If all this mastery and attainment grasping is becoming an old way, is there a new way that wants to come in its place? I have my ideas and answer to this, but do you have a sense of your arising truth around this?

Maybe mastery was just a placeholder holding us as men in a place of being mastered over, until we were ready to enter a whole new dimension of mystery, coming to know our power through the doorway of vulnerability and transparency?

Paul talked about the ‘schoolmaster of the law’ being over us until being introduced to Christ consciousness, which is more about being changed in core nature. Was he already hinting at this two thousand years ago?

It seems the old way of gaining mastery was really about gaining mastery over our vulnerability and never having to be transparent. We were holding a suppressive lordship over ourselves.

You may still be feeling like a millionaire holding some masteries, but I’ll bet life isn’t supporting you any longer to naturally sustain that. All the millionaires and billionaires of today are finding it harder and harder and super costly to effort sustaining those holdings.

These feelings are coming up for me today as I have an opportunity to have a session later today with a dynamic man and big soul who has a heartcry unfolding. I could feel some tension inside and went inwards to feel what it was about.

I connected with all of my inner masculine aspects of me from this life and other timelines that I feel living in me differentiated and unique, and asked their reactions to meeting with a man.

Here’s the pieces that came back to me in dialogue with them. (It feels good to get to the underlying push and pull and where and how it lives in parts of us and their needs. Now, we don’t try and fix the fade on one mastery with another mastery campaign somewhere else.)

“I don’t like men who speak their truth as thee truth without acknowledging their belief system that gave birth to those truths. They don’t feel safe or kind.” Marvin

“I don’t feel comfortable being around men who energize their spiritual mastery or attainments. It doesn’t feel real to me. If they are onto something, I feel stuck in a comparison game or left out. Mastery just hasn’t worked for me in decades. The mastery path as we’ve known it feels non relational and non vulnerable.” Wayne

“I’d like to serve men again. I feel trust that we know we won’t hurt or harm without care and kindness, but I also know that we and you and us are going to need to be awake, ready, in our stance, on our game, with our truth, not letting reactions get internalized. Men are looking for a mirror of truth.” Arthur

“You have a magic in you, Raphael, and that gets to come out and serve and be given when you simply be you, transparenting whatever you are feeling. I like serving men because then we get to dance in the magic and be around other mens magic too.” Charles

“What an opportunity to feel the heartbeat and heartcry of men, instead of dominating or controlling them. They aren’t / we aren’t that complex in some ways. We just want connection, meaning, and purpose” Lionel

Thanks for reading, especially as a man, and maybe as a woman, you can feel this as the masculine polarity inside of you and one that is or is wanting to transmute into these new directions?

I’m curious!

~ R ~

Our online portal is one gathering place for the new. You can find it here: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Big heartfelt acknowledgement and thank YOU to Gabriel Amara for leading this charge with me while we surrender to divine timing for more men in the room.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Bearing The Burden Of Love’s Unsolvable Mystery

By  Raphael Awen

💚 Realizing that all of your awakening is only ever but a measure is humbling. Then realizing that infinity bears no measure is more humbling still. 🏄🏻‍♂️

We are all in the awakening and we are all in the slumber. Love is playing with us, dancing with us, wanting to come to know itself through us, knowing that it never will and never wants to because of its own infinity. It just does what it does for the joy, reverence awe and wonder of it all.

Love invites you to meet with it there, in the unknown, in the surrender, where every mistake is an infinite success, where every pain is the source of unspeakable healing.

You bear the burden of love’s unsolvable mystery.

You can’t be solved or fixed because even your belief that you needed fixing is all a part of this mystery of being.

This being that you are; infinite, pretending with your measuring tape; omniscient, pretending to be missing a memo; omnipresent, pretending to be in one place at one time; omnipotent, pretending to be lacking something, ALL is love at play.

You have lots of awakening to do, but not for the attainment of it, for it literally gets you nowhere.

But when you get there, you won’t ever want to go back, and you won’t want to stop dancing with this love moving through you.

Xo,

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Masculine Energy Update: April 24, 2022

By  Raphael Awen

‘What can be shaken will be shaken’ and that’s pretty much everything.

If you thought you could create an unshakeable life, I imagine that you are either humbly and willingly reconsidering that presupposition or you are simply being forced to reconsider it.

Every electron that makes up every atom in every cell is in an oscillating push and pull kind movement. It is energy in motion and it’s trillions of times over just inside of your body alone. The solar rumblings that are going on are a macrocosm of the microcosm. You have your own ‘coronal mass ejections’ and solar flares happening inside of you on the quantum scale trillions of times over. You are not only affected by the sun, but you are affecting the sun as you are in quantum entanglement with all consciousness.

Every consensus reality that we’ve created in relationship to purpose, meaning, identity, money (exchanging ourselves in the world), romance, all of it is rumbling like never before. And it is crazymaking for our conscious minds to attempt to sort out as our conscious minds are not trained to handle this degree of shaking.

There is often nothing to do but surrender to the ride in the unknown and trust as best you can. Something from beyond our normal waking consciousness is going to have to meet you to sustain you in order to not overly suffer through this legitimate and inescapable suffering.

Take the practice of ghosting for example, that’s becoming so the norm in dating and in the workplace where recruiting is concerned. These are Titanic like behaviors of people who intuitively know that the ship is sinking, that there really is no tomorrow worth trusting in and that the default agenda is to get the most pleasure out of the immediate moment because that’s all there is. Do it at anyone else’s expense because me and my pleasure is all that matters. As nasty as that behavior is, it’s also part of the rebirth. These old masculine structures are emitting a heart cry for a death doula to assist them in completing the arc of their usefulness in our consciousness evolution, and so even the densest of hearts and souls respond to this heartcry.

Love never has allowed unanswered suffering to sustain, but love has not been afraid of allowing suffering to spike. We are in a spike like never before that is connected to, amplifying as well as answering all previous spikes.

Consciousness is reinventing itself, and it’s doing that through you and me, in your life and mine as we know it. Naturally, we feel it first as it affects how we feel as individuals, our personal life as we know it, how we feel today, but we are invited to feel it in the collective and here is where we find some answer for a balm to soothe the craziness we feel inside.

For me, in times like this, it often arises in an out of nowhere kind of feeling, of feelings of loss of wellbeing, meaning, purpose, rest and trust. I will consciously be able to feel how I have so much to be grateful for, but in these moments, I’ve lost all conscious feeling tones of that expanded gratitude. Instead, it feels gross, contracted, fearful, anxious, and hopeless. All is falling apart. There is a me there who can hold it with some self love around the experience, but the experience in moments can and does feel like it is almost all there is.

I’d love to take a poll here at this point and ask if you know of other spiritual teachers who’d be willing to admit this kind of reality inside. How many students and teachers are still busy in their ghosting worlds creating and cocreating these crumbling structures? Their purpose is just as sacred as mine, but theirs is stuck in a hell of a suffering loop if they are still busy selling wares on Titanic’s shifting deck; bullshit like how to turn your spiritual offering into a six figure or seven figure income. Six or seven figures of crumbling shit I might add!

My point is that everything is being transparented. By that I mean that everything that has been hidden is in process of being revealed. The big darknesses and the little ones. It’s not a morality police kind of revealing though. It is rather a revealing of finding and seeing how we are all one. What we do to an other, we do to ourselves. What ‘the one’ goes through, we can’t escape feeling it. Your unshakeable reality will be shaken to the place where the only salvation will be in getting real.

Getting real with yourself, with the divine, and with others. It’s the only mirror in which you will be afforded a picture of yourself that will be of any help. And incidentally, YOU do matter and how YOU fare does matter. It’s not about getting over yourself. It’s about getting into yourself and coming alive and feeling how your thrival is inextricably connected with mine and everyone else’s. If you want to survive this shaking, let alone thrive in it, you’re going to have to figure out a way to give your deepest gifts, and those gifts are about getting real first.

And herein shall also be your greatest service. Even the darkest darkness like the current holocaust injection agenda and dominations over humanity are all a part of love’s unfolding story. Love has cooked up some cliffhanger plots that outdo anything we’ve ever seen written before, but this is the level of meltdown that is currently going on.

You see, your soul, your higher self, doesn’t see your comfort and survival in this 3D domain through the lens of your conditioned 3D self parts of you. These beautiful beings helped and help you do 3D as you’ve needed to, but now their vessel has been breached, they are at fatal threat until you can answer and reconcile what it is that you really want, and THEN, move towards it in some way.

I’d like to invite you to take such a step in joining our online free portal at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/. I’m being called to gather like hearts and souls into a resonance space to support one another, get to know and interact with one another and move forward through the craziness together. It feels like it’s either that or lay down and die. I want the former. How about you? I’d like to invite you not just to join me in this portal, but to invite others as well.

Lots more to come from life, from love, from this crazy ride. Let’s plan accordingly.

Raphael

(Photo taken by Tosi Philippe on April 22, 2022 )

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Finding Your Soul Tribe

By  Raphael Awen

Do you see yourself in some ways as different and unique from anyone else you’ve ever met?

Have you ever looked out upon the sea of spiritual offerings and spiritual teachers and the people in those communities, and just honestly said to yourself, I just can’t see myself being a genuine part of anything I can see out there?!

I have.

Prior to that, I have also found myself in long term settings and groups thinking I was there for life. I’d found the truth and that felt good to be settled around that, until that ‘nest for life’ became evident that the mama eagle was again making the nest prickly, preparing me to make a do or die leap from the nest, into a new world of flight.

Belonging and being a part of something larger than just myself was wired in me. That part I didn’t question. What I did come to question in community experience very deeply was where was the transparency, the vulnerability, and sometimes just where was the garden variety honesty in everyday life.

I knew I was being invited to become more and more honest with myself, but I wasn’t so sure the group I was a part of wanted that like I wanted it. The culture that we had created up till then was a different kind of social contract between us, and now, I was the one seeking to revise the unspoken agreements and sub-agreements within our dynamics.

I knew all too well, just from looking within myself, that people who believe they have thee truth are set upon preserving that truth, exporting that truth, feeling good about themselves for having found such worthy occupation and even divine calling.

I knew I was breaking a contract. The words of ‘I’m here forever’ had to be revised to mean that ‘you are in my heart forever, but I am called to journey outside of this precious home that has held me and you and us so beautifully for the time that it has’.

Not one person from within my known world wanted to join me in that kind of exploration. They remained true to the culture we had upheld so faithfully. And It wasn’t their time, simply like how for me, in a couple decades worth of belonging within something, it hadn’t been my time to look beyond its comforting confines. I grew and bloomed where I was planted; until I simply no longer could.

What came next however, was a deep despair.

I knew that if I found anything that just felt real, really real, transparently real, I’d be wanting to be a part of it. But whatever I checked out in the worlds of spirituality that I previously felt were way off in my watertight convictions about what was really true, I came to feel that the same kind of hiding from my former worlds was going on relationally and emotionally in the social fabric of these communities I considered being a part of. The frequencies may have been higher, and more evolved, and more sophisticated, and even more resonant in many ways, but I was stuck on this inescapable bottom line point of that unless we get real, with ourselves and in turn with one another, there really isn’t any hope for meaningful change, or any hope for truly having any fun for that matter.

I thought about how it might look to go forward in life, without really being much a part of anything deeper community wise. I didn’t like that feeling.

That’s precisely when I felt called to lead something new and to be a part of something new. I was surprised by seeing my lifelong focus of finding the right group led by others, within which I could really shine, in someone else’s container, seeing that arrangement have to be let go of, in order to say yes to something new, in order to say yes to a calling. As destiny would so beautifully have it, I was given a mate, Jelelle, with which to share and fuel that dream, and things unfolded to today.

But back to you for a moment, if I may?…

Where are you at? What are you feeling in your truth as you so graciously take in my truth? What are you doing with your own version of feeling (if that is in fact what you are feeling) that you can’t find a place you could fit in, with your honesty, with your transparency, with your truth, with your feelings of having outgrown previous settings and previous ways of being? What is it that you really want? I believe there is something apparent to you that you really want, and that something answers the rest of the somethings that need answering.

I’m saying all this to extend an invite to you, but honestly, it’s not really an ‘everyone welcome’ sign like the one that so unconditionally lovingly sits out front many churches, communities or spiritual groups. I know too much about what can’t work for me to make that kind of invitation. Everyone is welcome in my heart as my equal, but not to have in my active connection as it’s only through shared resonance around shared values that makes for a real connection. My invite is more exclusive. All of us, I feel, kind of self-organize into where we find deep and true resonance.

My invite today is more exclusive to those who share this honesty piece, this despair piece, this yearning for something different piece. My invitation is to come in closer in deep resonance and transparency in community.

What could shared resonance in shared community look like for you? How could your sovereignty be enhanced rather than sacrificed by being a part of something meaningful?

I may well be speaking to a single soul right now. I know this is meant for someone and maybe some more ones beyond that. But one is really all that matters, because the all is contained in the one, and the one is contained in the all.

On one hand, I don’t need you to be interested in my offer, as I feel a deep trust in the divine within that this desire in me, is destined to continue to be fulfilled, but on the other hand, unless a you, if not you, shows up to play, I have less with whom to play. I can’t be fulfilled as an island to myself. I need you. I want you. I’m not complete without you.

Ok, this is getting a bit deep. I’ll try not to apologize for my passion, and instead simply ask you to check into who I am, who my wife and I are as a couple, what we lead and offer, and beyond to who we are as a community, to feel if what you’ve felt rumble and resonate in you in my words today has any legs beyond remaining in a distant orbit in our galaxy.

I really do hope you find where you are meant to be where you thrive, flourish and grow like a weed, but with the beauty and bounty of a rose. I hope you get smelled and appreciated often, up close and personal, for your true fragrance. I hope a year from now, that you and those around you hardly recognize you for the aliveness that’s unfolded in you.

But please choose. For your sake, for mine, and all of ours. Nothing changes the world like your choice does and ongoingly finding your place.

There’s a few places to check deeper into my world, here on Facebook, on our website, YouTube, group calls, etc. I’d be beyond delighted to hear from you personally and I promise most of all to be real, and treasure your reaching out! 💚🌹🏄🏻‍♂️🙏🏻

Thanks for feeling this and allowing it to take you where it will.

Much love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Living Between The Time And No-time Dimensions

By  Raphael Awen

I live in a village where church bells chime on the hour, every hour, reminding us of the dimension of time.

In time, there are many urgencies of what should and shouldn’t be. What would our lives be if it wasn’t for such urgencies? How could we maintain a sense of what life is and who we are without such parameters?

Outside of time, there are no urgencies, for all is both waiting to happen and has already happened. Both are equally true outside of time where all potentialities and outcomes equally exist.

If that’s true, and if it’s also true that you and I span the time and the no-time dimensions in the larger sense of who and what we are, then that opens up a whole other way of seeing and feeling our lives than we normally do in the more familiar time dimension.

Maybe the point of the things I want to do today in the time dimension, as well as the pretzel of sorting out what best deserves my time, and then sorting the next pretzel of finding the time and energy for such worthy doings; maybe all of that wants to be informed by the no-time dimension where it’s already all done, where doing doesn’t happen.

What we’d be left with would I imagine be something resembling play, like kids building forts with tea sets inside. It wouldn’t be a ‘real’ grown up house and a real grown up tea time, but as I recall, I never quite found something in all my adult years as simply fun and engaging as true play to the tune of what I did in childhood.

Maybe your and my inner child hasn’t actually become adapted to all these hourly reminders all around everywhere, the ones on our wrists, and the devices in our hands, keeping us here in the not so fun territory, in a world that feels overdosed on real.

Maybe it’s our inner children that hold the portal back to our essence and are inviting us into what they actually never lost, thank God, but only forgot, in our rush to grow up.

I recall the hour spent in church strangely as the most imprisoned and boring hour growing up, where time surely could not move any slower, like we needed to suffer in the time dimension, like we needed to shed a whole essence of our being and conform to something we were not.

Maybe we did need that. Maybe the church, like all of our institutions are still reminding us of how boring time is, when play is lost, how boredom is like a drill that bores vacuums in our lives that create space for new things to come in, which things are aching something out in us like a kid attempting to to sit still in church, an ache that precedes new creation.

How did we expect to find what we want if we didn’t encounter what we don’t want? Both are equally sacred and both took a lot of courage to choose. You are this courageous, for you chose to be here in both, both the longing and the realization of remembering and expanding on the divinity that you are, even through the comparison of discovering what it isn’t.

You and I are so surrounded by so much divinity on all sides that the things that don’t feel or look very divine are just dimmer switches and moderators allowing for the stuff we are learning and unlearning. This is all happening in the gap that is created in our perception between what is seen as divine and what isn’t.

I’m going to see if I can breathe in a whole big breath of no-time love from the no-time dimension side of my being in order to be with the time pretzels I feel around me in the time dimension, let the two of them get to know each other more.

Maybe as you and I figure this out, we solve this conundrum and deposit the answer/download somewhere in the no-time databank where it’s actually already solved somehow.

And here is where not only you and I get to be part of the deposit and the withdrawal from the time side of our experience, but so does everyone else get to be part of it. There is only one of us after all for whom all of this is and is being sorted out for.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

The Portal Of Our Separation Wound

By  Raphael Awen

Deep, potent, powerful transformation is available to all of us, but this accelerated and conscious version of our growth, only occurs as we are willing to go inward to transparently and vulnerably feel our fears.

Growth and forward momentum is guaranteed whether we choose this accelerated path or not, as we are all immersed in the learning and growth vehicle we call life, and it’s wired for growth and the ultimate and ongoing reconciliation with the divine that we are. But some of us are just impatient!

We have so many levels of growth and learning that await us, but for now, our primary familiar level of conscious awareness on this earth plane is our gateway to the higher ones we crave and yearn for. If that’s true, then what you have probably felt was a hindrance to your awakening is actually instead the opportunity for it.

If we can choose a surrender over a success kind of mindset; reconciliation over attainments; stewarding over possessing, then we get closer to where what before felt like blocks, hindrances and missing capacities, are now readily transmuted into portals to the real and truer thing that’s underneath the attachments to the false thing. Here you are presented with what you really want.

This should be a big sigh of relief as you toss out all the technique based how to manuals that only ultimately helped you run out of gas for the self discipline (torture) picture of spirituality. Your time of slaving in return for breadcrumbs of your essence is over if you are ready for it to be over.

Somewhere next in here, you are faced with the challenge of having what you really want, which you before assumed was instant bliss, goodness and happiness and instead are surprised to see that even here, negotiation and adjustment are needed.

Parts of you are losing a familiar territory where they learned to live in some dimension of lack, and they need to be embraced and honored for the service they’ve given and the posts they’ve held. Their reactions are actually the keys to the portal through these reactions – reactions are movements, not something to be overcome or worse yet, ‘mastered’. The only place the word mastery deserves a place in your lexicon is the mastery of surrender, which is not the attainment of personal power over something, but instead the letting go of that now false, and maybe once treasured power, into the power ‘under’ something, the power that underlies and animates all things, that can’t be attained, only surrendered into. That’s good news because falling is a whole lot easier than climbing, yes?!

It’s crazy making to get so much closer to the bliss you wanted and chose only to find more formidable blocks that make you wonder why you set out on this journey in the first place.

I believe what you and I are carrying deep within us is 2 divine programs, if I could call them that. These are benevolent programs that we actually not only agreed to, but were also the creators of, and also the why of why we were willing to be individuated from the divine from oneness into this twoness/duality where we retained everything we once were, but also agreed to these 2 paths or journeys of forgetting and remembering in it all.

The forgetting and remembering that you and I are playing out, we are playing it out together, with each of us at different stages, but all dependent and connected to one another. No one arrives home until all arrive home.

The forgetting program involves a deep wound, an ache that calls for our attention. This wound is the separation wound, where both consciously, but mostly unconsciously, we carry and express an inner knowing of something lost, something so precious that we almost wish we never knew of such goodness, for the pain that a single ounce of this remembering piques in us.

But this program alone without a countering program would be pure torture. The other program we have and possess is the program to remember. I believe your and my full remembrance of everything we lost is not only baked in the cake, but this remembrance even excels the original state we forfeited and takes it into ongoing creative expansion of more. This is the what and the why our souls embraced this plan with such abandon.

We knew that for the divine to have the opportunity to meet and get to know itself for the first time would be a sacred union like no other. The divine couldn’t do this without forgetting and remembering, and it decided to do it billions of times over and over with individuated consciosness’s called you and me.

The heights of our tension though is at these crazy making points where our surrender into the crazy is asked for. This is the process of death and rebirth. Something that once lived, breathed and had purpose and meaning is dying, concluding, wrapping up, preparing to breathe its last and it needs someone to hold space, a hospice kind of space, an open heart space for it to wrap up. This is pieces and parts of you that are transmuting through death and rebirth even as your physical body and name address on the planet has continuity.

This is where time spent in palliative care and the nursery of your inner hospital often occurs on the same day as you participate in goodbyes and hellos to old you and new arising you.

I invite you to embrace the separation wound as it lives in you and however it is currently expressing in your life circumstances.  Here you will find is where the remembering is also happening in the fullest swing you can self lovingly handle, where every piece has time and space to be savoured, honored and transmuted.

Here is your greatest service of love, which helps you recognize your unique youness, which is integral to reuniting fully with the divine without losing yourself in the divine. The divine wants union which is about 2 coming together, over and over again. This means you never lose your individuality. It only keeps shifting and changing into more. You’ll need more you to be in this kind of union.

We need each other to get on with this more and more as each of our attainments are a co-op kind of shared agreement of ownership. Your gain is mine and vice versa.

I hope this lands in you as an answer to some deep questions you’ve been asking. I felt some distress calls as I was writing this today.

Jelelle Awen and I are hosting a group call this Sunday to connect more around the separation wound which will get into more of this, in a heart and feeling space with others, where something magical always occurs for everyone present. I’d like to invite you if this calls to you. Details here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/events 💚

And there’s also our free SoulFullHeart Portal to climatize more to these energies and fellow inclined people. You can join here:

https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Thank you for reading and thank you for connecting.

Much love,

Raphael

It even got cool enough this week to break out the toques, which has been a rare thing this warm winter here in central Portugal. This is at the Mondego river which runs through Coimbra city, Portugal’s third largest (if I’m not mistaken), a place we go for some adventure at times and new shoes, which we found for Jelelle!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

A Valentine From Divine You To You

By  Raphael Awen

May the valentine you receive today be the best one ever, from the divine in gratitude for your participation in time and space and this density – for your willingness to be in the game of awakening and lifting veils and discovering what wouldn’t and couldn’t be discovered without your part.

May the valentine you send be addressed to the All of which you also are as an individual – in-divi-dual – an undividable twoness – both one among many and inextricably undivided from the All.

You are both the one and many, hence you can write your own Valentine’s – you are the to and the from in this greatest, and ever greatening love story.

May not one ounce of the suffering you experience in this experiment be left unclaimed for the pound of gold that has your name on it! The love here is overwhelming and love itself needs takers in this infinitely expanding reality. Fret not for the temporary limitation you perceive, for even the limitation is born out of and created out of the abundance.

Even the dark ones currently pulling the big levers of power are equally a part of this grand unfolding. Their amnesia of who they really are will turn to amnesty as they awaken to their roles, receive the built in forgiveness for the playing the necessary dark roles to this love story. Our hearts will recognize the darkest deeds are in service of the light. Our hearts will recognize that the slightest offense to love differs not to the grandest one. Love forgives all.

If you can be forgiven, so can Justin, right? And his dad too, and Hillary, and Bill, and the whole lot of them. There’s only one lot, and they are a lot to love, but you have this lot in you and this is the lot you are a part of.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Jelelle! For being so deeply and profoundly joined with me, busy being in love’s overwhelm and calm, love’s forgetting and remembering.

Happy Valentine’s Day TO you, FROM you and THROUGH you!

YOU are the hot stuff the world waits for.

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Sacred Desires And Fears – Both Are Our Portal To Full Remembrance

By  Raphael Awen

The thing we desire the most is also the thing we fear the most.

We want something that represents a feeling or assurance of some kind of more, but not too much more. We set our sights on attainable, reachable and manageable goals.

To shoot higher is to set ourselves up for failure, or even worse, to somehow attain that great and high thing, but then have to live with the fear of falling from such a greater height.

If all of our dreams somehow came true, how would we hold it together?

So we tend to settle for this half life of being in resistance with both our desires and our fears. They are both to blame and to be held accountable. Were it not for them, there wouldn’t be any tension. All that would be left would be bliss.

But to go and find some kind of life configuration that helps you kill both desire and fear, is to choose to not live, suicide in slow motion. Doesn’t most spiritual practices, paradigms, therapies and ways of life have at their core, this root of managing fears and desires?

Trouble is though that a human being is one of both desire and fear, and fears and desires are such great forces, that they can never really be managed. At best, they can be suppressed for a time only to emerge in your life with more strength than when you tried to disown them.

I am especially feeling this as we approach the new year, and feeling how feeling fears and desires opens us out to set an intention for the new year, seeing it for the portal that it offers us.

This is so different from the standard ‘New Years resolution’ energy, whereby you need to mount a self-discipline campaign, essentially suppressing the needs and desires of one part of you to allow another one to have its needs met. That’s about dominance, overcoming and suppression, one part of our being colonizing vast and beautiful territories of other parts of our being. The victor never feels at peace with the winnings because it doesn’t contain any peace. Possession requires constant vigilance to stay on top.

For the year to come, what can I feel within my desire body to receive as a shift in being, a shift in nourishment, a shift in getting deeper and truer needs met?

What fears can I feel inside of my heart space that are wanting to find transformation? What irritations and vibrations come up for me in whatever cycle or situations that they do? Why have I needed them up till now?

Could I truly embrace both of these fear and desire polarities within who at first seem to be holding each other at a standoff, but upon closer feeling and observation, I see that each holds the key to each other’s freedom?

I believe this is the deeper ground of truly setting an intention that has true power in it. It has power because it is able to surrender to both desire and fear, not because it overcame one at the expense of the other.

This feels like not only our great personal internal lesson of reconciliation with our divinity, but also like the great cosmic soul’s lesson before us as we watch the playouts of last year’s bifurcating events and narratives about the fears of death, carrying over into the new year at increasing levels of fear and polarization. Whether you’re afraid of the virus or it’s cure, it is the biggest monster in the room right now for so many, bringing up our personal fears within.

How could these heightened crazy times we find ourselves living in with many seemingly impossible situations be a turning point for you personally where your fears and desires are concerned?

This doula of death that showed up is here with consciousness’ permission and authority to help something transform that has wanted and needs to die and be reborn for a long time. Death isn’t ‘death’ as in an obliteration of energy. It’s always about change.

I’ve been quite taken with keeping up with news headlines a few times a day whether alternative or mainstream, for years now, seemingly scanning the horizon for evidence of this great death and rebirth, as if my personal fulfillment is dependent on the collective shifting, even while knowing the agenda in the news cycle. I’m feeling my being rising to a higher octave where the ‘news’ now needs to come from within, my own reports of what’s new from my own heart and soul domains.

I feel an intention brewing for the year to come of changing this relationship with the news, and it feels sooo inviting. Something deeply nourishing wants to replace what felt before felt nourishing, but no longer does.

What are you desiring for the year to come?

Deepen 22!

Jelelle Awen and I are releasing a daily video series beginning January 1st for the month offering daily short guided meditations and an overview of the SoulFullHeart way of life, and I’d love to have you join us if you feel drawn. It’s free to be a part of, but we’d love to receive your exchange with us in the form of donations for whatever ways it helps and assists you through where you are shifting and moving. You will find it on our YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience

4 days from now we have our 12:12 Portal Transmission and Guided Meditation Group Call. I hope you can join us live at 5:00pm GMT/12:00 EST/9:00am EST on Sunday, December 12th and/or receive the recording by whatever donation you feel to give (usual is about $15 CAD) via soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen.

More info at soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions and https://www.facebook.com/events/328536115365602

Much love to you on your sacred journey,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Photo courtesy of Kunai Shinde: https://unsplash.com/photos/-f0YLss50Bs

From Victim To Ambassador Amidst An Apocalypse

By  Raphael Awen

Seeing stories more and more of what only looks like concentration camps 2.0 in the name of protecting people, it strikes a fear chord inside of me.

How far is this thing going to escalate? How prepared is prepared?

What shall I do? How will I know what to do and when?

I gave these feelings and questions some heart space inside of a Divine Mother and Divine Father womb space this morning and was invited to feel some larger awareness around it all.

When we see the polarity increasing between two sides of any conflict, we are antsy to find the right side, and once we feel we’ve achieved that, we tend to expound the virtues of our side over the enemy’s side. We become virtuous warriors regardless of the side we’ve chosen.

Regardless of the conflict, if you feel into the energy of both sides, a quite surprising common denominator is seen. Both the designated perpetrator and victim are feeling and acting out of a place of fear of losing something precious to them. Though they are at polar opposites as to the solution of the crisis at hand, they are totally cut from the same cloth when it comes to what is motivating them.

If that’s true, then I need only look at myself to get a window on what’s going on deep in the heart of my enemy’s camp.

Deep at core, I don’t want to lose my life. I may feel I’m higher consciousness about this than I was before, even realizing that my true being can’t actually die, but only change forms, but still I’m not outside of this deep core motivation to preserve something precious and avoid something feared in the here and now. And in those somethings, is where I was told this morning, that we find resolution, both personally and collectively.

Now, I can only possess these kinds of fears if there is still ground in me of distrust towards my outcome, without which, I could be rest assured of a good and pleasurable future.

Is this the exact same world that my enemy lives in, regardless of our perceived and chosen oppositeness?

It feels to me to be the case.

This whole polarity world is maybe no better pictured than in our relationship with money. I must have money to survive, or I can’t be of use to anyone, let alone myself, unless I survive, so getting and obtaining money comes first. Period. Me first, you second, in a world of scarcity and separation, that is in the domain of money as we know it.

This perception of the world skews our relationship so deeply with all of life, and really gets backlit when there’s a perceived active threat.

Then this week, as I’m seeing the ugliness getting uglier, I can’t help but ask, ‘who are the real lords above all this conflict’? It takes one into the science fiction realm of off-planet realities and beings who would appear to possess a consciousness level higher than ours, able to pull strings and levers to get their way.

But if these beings are not science fiction, then what might really be motivating them?

Well, what motivated all of us to create factory farms, the concentration or containment camps for the animals? I say ‘we’ because if you’ve ever eaten an animal, you have a share in the whole endeavor. That includes me and you and that’s a ‘we’. We perceived ourselves to be of a higher consciousness than animals, so we felt and found a way to obscure any arising pang of guilt towards the whole operation.

But when the Nazi’s did the same thing with humans, that was ‘wrong’?. Well, not to them it wasn’t. Then there were the people’s countrymen who turned on their neighbors turning in the lessers to the new superiors, amidst all the chaos of the deeply polarized traumas. People were forced to take a side.

But what forced them? It seems to me that what really ‘forced’ them was not any outside authorities, but rather this shared common denominator of unconscious need to preserve oneself.

When you feel that both victim and perpetrator, (regardless of which side you perceive yourself to be on), both share this identical motive ground, you step up to the table of resolution and true ambassadorship.

First owning how deeply it lives in you to survive, and where your own fears of death lay, or fears of a diminished future, live inside of you, you are now able to see your enemy for who they really are.

They are you.

Now, the judgments and polarities are able to be resolved, because the sacred purpose of those judgments and polarities are completing. Their purpose was to bring us back into remembrance with ourselves, which is one and the same with bringing us back into being re-membered with one another, and putting behind us our necessary dismembered phase of consciousness.

The whole point of the polarity that we all signed off on was to leave oneness, so we could return to it, and expand it in the process, to give love a chance to see itself that it didn’t have before. Time was needed. Space was needed. Drama and trauma was needed. But we never lost this essence of being love, and that’s what haunts our fears of loss.

We know way beyond any kind of mental knowing a deep knowledge of being divinity, and when parts of us feel like they’re stuck in anything less than divinity, it strikes this chord of fear and anxiety. Will I ever get to return to really knowing and feeling what I truly am? This is the shared ground and it is called vulnerability. No matter how protected or powerful, no matter our chosen and championed side, we can’t escape this vulnerability.

These vulnerabilities are the portal doors back to full rememberance that we all must journey through in our glorious and awaiting experience of being re-membered with love.

Love really is this big of a deal and it needed dramas this freaking large to come to know itself.

If you remember, we all remember, as we are all inextricably connected, even as we journey through a necessary phase of perceiving ourselves as a separate self.

Love this separate self, get to know it and love it, find out how and why it ticks, toks and talks. It is your personal path of full discovery, full disclosure, complete reconciliation and total revelation.

My guidance circle said to me this morning, ‘Though it contains some needful apocalypse, I assure you that nothing could be more rewarding, fulfilling, fun, than this homecoming. It is the future that is filled with good things and you are well programmed for it, quite beyond any imposed ‘enemy’ programming’ or highjacked matrix reality.

Much love, I hope this helps you in some deeply inner way, but also helps to answer the many practicalities and choice points you are feeling, just like the rest of us.

If you feel I could be a resource to you, I offer 1:1 session space and would love to hear from you. There’s also 3 more of us facilitators here at SoulFullHeart who might also be a better fit for you. More info here: SoulFullHeart.org/sessions.

Also, Jelelle and I are embarking on a daily video series release come January 1 for 31 days, that I invite you to bookmark if you’d like to get acclimated to us a bit more. You’ll find that in the new year at https://youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience and a lot more is there in the meantime.

Much Love,

Raphael (and Jelelle )

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.