A Soul’s Declaration

“I am a Knight and Priest of The Magdalene Order of the Rose”. Those are words that came to me this morning in meditation. This could be Metasoul brother of mine, or it could be a soul awakening. Or both. When I let those words as a code enter my being, I felt different. I felt a coming home to myself within my masculine and feminine. 

Lately, I have been listening to music that has been connecting me to multiple masculine aspects within myself in multiple timelines. A Druid priest and teacher, an Essene co-leader, a knight of Arthur’s Round Table, and a Templar monk/knight. I have felt them surrounding my feminine in a calling for reconciliation and integration. I have let that process just unfurl itself through occasional journaling, meditating, and compassionate curiosity. 

Yesterday, I spent some time with my soul brothers Raphael and James on the Abbey grounds here in Glastonbury/Avalon. I could feel multiple timelines in our connection together. In a circle with Yeshua, around a fire as knights and a king, as priests/monks pontificating on the nature of and duty toward God. All of this supported what was going on inside of me as a background process until it was ready to come into clearer view for myself. 

I am a part of a lineage of male and female Metasouls that have devoted themselves to the process of embodied death and rebirth, of the ways of the mystery schools, and of the sacred feminine/masculine and Divine Mother/Father. This lineage is encoded in my cells as it is all those that are a part of it. From this I have become more clear as to who I am and what I am here to serve. 

I am not a practitioner. I am not just a healer. I am a leader, a teacher, and a student of this initiative order of Divine and Galactic revelation. It is deeply connected to many inter-galactic ‘races’ such as Sirian, Pleidian, Arcturian, Lyran, Orion, and others. It is a path to the embodiment and remembrance of these lineages, timelines, and families. They are seeking a greater reconciliation as well. 

I feel a renewed reverence for what I have been called to serve through this journey with Jelelle, Raphael, and Kasha (and recently, James). They have been the biggest teachers and mirrors to me as well as my Higher Self and the Divine when I was not in contact with them. It has all been an undulating path back to clarity. I am grateful for it as I can serve those undulations and see where they may lead for others. 

So in the end here, I guess this is my Mission Statement. This is what I am here to ‘do’, Be, and embody more and more. It is a call to other men and women who feel a resonance with that clarity and declaration. Who feel guided to heal the wounds within that lead to greater revelation about who and what they are meant to be and serve within that lineage of the Magdalenes and their galactic counterparts. I look forward to the new chapter that serves me, you, and the Divine whenever and however that reveals itself.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Journey Back To Love

Love can be a tough thing to let in a lot of the time. So much in the way between us and it. Trauma, wounds, pains, challenges, dependencies, contracts, fear…the list goes on. It is a journey that is not an easy one.

Love illuminates so much of what has ailed us in the Heart and Soul. We cannot bypass those wounds, we can only choose to not go there until we can no longer continue to hide without suffering. When you choose the path back to Love, Real Love, it is a soul decision to go through what appears like a hell to the part of you that has kept it all that at bay.

It is not about suiting up to withstand the pain and fear, but about arriving with the willingness to shed and reveal until you are naked at the foot of the Divine. This is the altar by which we become altered and transformed into something brand new.

It is not a plunge but a gentle process of feeling one step at a time. Any desire to ‘get rid of your shit’ is really coming from a part of you that is tired of holding it. That is understandable, yet there is another you there that can take it from this part and go through the process in a more self-loving way.

This is the journey that I have walked and continue to walk. It is ongoing but not a suffering loop. It is feeling everything that needs attention that doesn’t feel like Love toward me, anyone, or anything else. I live and offer this as my life’s Purpose and Work. If you ever feel that things are getting to be too much on the outside, or overwhelming on the inside, please feel the invitation from my heart to yours.

I have experienced many trials and shadow places within myself to understand what you are going through. I also have the capacity of compassion to hold the space even if I haven’t had similar experiences. These are trying times and sometimes we just need to be seen and felt in it all to shine the light on the next steps of release, forgiveness, and growth. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, and if there is hesitation we can feel that too.

Many blessings to you on your journey back to Love.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

A Man’s Inward Holy Grail Quest To Find Real Worth, Value And Meaning

By Raphael Awen

King Arthur’s knights were ever drawn to escape the mundane, the everydayness of their lives. 

These sensitive and hungry souls had grown to despair of the emptiness of their culture, and their lives within that culture. 

They sought an escape into deeper meaning and purpose and an outer form of nobility and purpose to answer an inner unfelt loss of connection with their own nobility. God forbid that they should live out their days without a conscious quest to fill their sails. 

Is a monk of any stripe really any different? Or a renunciant – one who gives up something lesser for the attainment of something higher? What about the man seeking to make himself ‘independently wealthy’ – having no need of anyone or anything, or the hedonist pursuing every pleasure that men may come to know? The hedonist and the renunciant share a common hunger for something truly comforting.

So common to men of any background is the seeking of purpose and power within that purpose. Men are fleeing meaninglessness. Men will readily settle into a career or a family role because it stems this aching pain and discomfort coming from not knowing and feeling who they really are at a deeper level. 

Men who are not in touch with these deeper needs, the ones that really drive them, are then easily manipulated by agendas too numerous to mention – be they of the highest spiritual orders or the lowest callings known to men. Wouldn’t most of us trade in control or our sovereignty in exchange for comfort?

Men want more than anything to feel good about themselves, and if that means dedicating one’s life to helping others in order to feel good about themselves, then so be it, as long as it promises that they will get to feel good about themselves in the end.

The problem however comes in the constant delay of that promise – the futureness of it. ‘I’m so noble, I can delay my gratification of this need till later, in service of others.’ Men slip into settling for any kind of lessening of their pain of their disconnect from actually knowing and feeling their worth and their meaning, having long ago settled that they are not meant to ever know or actually live from a place of their worth, their value and true comfort. 

True embodied worth, that flows from within, that doesn’t rely on any outer circumstance or creed, that you can feel, that can colour your moments with the deepest creativity and engagement has long been written off as a dream, a myth. We are only left with a kind of nobility that makes the best of a really hopeless situation.

These kinds of dedicated happy campers, god bless them, are everywhere. Each of them with their alms begging bag extended before them. ‘Bestow upon me some spare change of worth and acknowledgment for the choices I have made and the example I am willing to be, during such a time of unprecedented loss’.

This all hits so close to home for me. At fourteen, I recall feeling so bored of being bored, longing to find freedom in anything that promised relief. The Christianity of my family heritage felt so compromised and lacking in passion, that I broke away into something much more engaging with a much higher bar of commitment and dedication. As a man to be, I needed to set my sail with a worthy quest to navigate the sea of meaninglessness that was all too real on every side, at every turn. 

It has taken a number of decades this life, and in numerous lifetimes beyond this one, to get to the place where I can feel that the true holy grail quest; from which flows every grail quest; from which flows every draft of any purpose ever imagined or set sail into; is actually about realizing the value and worth that lives inside, that has always lived inside, that awaits our choice and discovery. I can say I am truly coming to know and feel this worth and have my own experiential emerging felt reality of this kind of aliveness. I also feel the invitation for this to be the magic of an ongoing process, rather than some quest-ending instant gratification of these god given and god being kind of needs.

Only a man in growing touch with this inner worth has hopes of being enough for a woman, for a career, for a calling, for a quest, for belonging to a true circle of men who live in shared resonance with one another.

Having landed here in Glastonbury, England, a ‘fortnight’ ago, I am especially feeling King Arthur as a Metasoul brother wanting to digest and feel together with me the dissonance that still lives in men, especially in the men of the highest attainments, whether of spiritual or material pursuits. He says, ‘We got hoodwinked into thinking that if we chose nobility, duty and obligation, we would be guaranteed to find the deepest fulfillment, only to come full circle, after a long time spent in the desert in that lease of consciousness, and patterned brotherhood, having attained many things that felt so meaningful at the time, only to find out that we were ever still searching for the true holy grail, which was hiding all that time in plain sight, and yet for most, still remains hidden.’

The problem now comes in when feeling how to embrace such an inner quest without needing to enroll men into it for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. Men must choose this for themselves, in their own time of sacred awakening, when the clock has run out of the necessary time spent in these previous domains – all of which are equally sacred and necessary to the inhabitation of the quest now arising. It can’t and won’t arise until it does.

I’m returning today and plan to return many times to the burial site and tomb of King Arthur here in Glastonbury inside of the Abbey ruins to feel this great cycle of death and rebirth that all men and mankind must grow into and go through. The once great Abbey that was the wealthiest in all of England, that held so much power and purpose in its many iterations over many centuries, by and for men of so many stripes, is seen to be coming from a worldview of domination, both of oneself and of others. Men of meaning and influence had to be in exchange with this centre of power to be granted lease and influence among men. Now, it sits in ruin as a 3D tourist attraction for tourists to scratch their heads in bewilderment at how and what such a thing was really about. 

I feel Arthur saying that he knows all too well now, what such a thing was all about – It was about the willingness of men and women to pool unimaginable resources into a patched together harmonious flow that promised this deliverance from meaninglessness. It was ultimately and humbly to serve as a bad example, of what couldn’t ultimately work, for the real needs of sacred human men and women, even as it shone a bright light and moved us in powerful new directions that were necessary and needed to bring us to this current flow of consciousness that is now arising – finding true worth and meaning that can only be found within, as Yeshua said, ‘where moth and rust does not corrupt, and where thieves cannot break in and steal.’ Domination itself as a way of life is in its sacred death and rebirth phase and we who are feeling it are the Ambassadors and the Death and Rebirth Doulas that are holding space for this sacred shift, along with its attendant new way of being. 

This is the true kingdoms and queendoms of heaven on earth that we are invited now to explore, to choose as deeply as we can in any and all moments, that thread meaning and deep purpose into the very fabric of your life as you currently know it. This is the true grail quest that we are invited to embrace, that gives purpose, direction, guidance, meaning and empowerment to all of life.

Much love, and wishing you deep strides on your sacred grail quest.

Raphael Awen

soulfullheart.org/sessions 

I work one on one with men in session space and the SoulFullHeart process to assist in this kind of personal awakening. If this calls to you, I’d like to hear from you. I’ll send you a few questions and a guided meditation for you to undertake to find us a starting place together and we can go from there in a way that is tailored to your needs and life. More info is here: soufullheart.org/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The Onward Inward Journey Into Magic And Surrender

With only two weeks away from leaving Canada to embark on a new journey with my soul fam to the Isle of Avalon and beyond, this is more than just physical travel, but transdimensional travel within the physical plane.

I feel the seat of my Being in a state of active surrender. Letting go of some deeper layers of conditioning and relationship to alchemy and the unknown. I feel I am changing the channel of my soul dial and there is some of that void static in the space between the channels. A pregnant poignancy.

I was watching the movie Cocoon a few nights ago and had this feeling that although I am not leaving the planet, per se, I am leaving an old frequency of relating to this dimension without leaving my humanity behind. All the parts that hold fears, doubts, curiosities, and joys get to come with me along the way and I get to use them as portals in a brand new world of magic and divine creation.

I feel an emergence and birth of a more upgraded version of myself that I have not been previously privy to until the right conditions and healing had crossed paths. This is a sacred time of saying good-bye not only to geography, but a shedding of an old skin to make room for the new.

The only known we truly have access to is what we are feeling and relating to in each moment. The rest is speculative. There are intentions and desires, and then there is Life and Love with their own agendas and timings. In those waters I lay my heart in trust.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

The Challenge To Feel (VIDEO): Conversations With Men

“Feeling is really hard! It is really challenging!”

These were words I spoke in the third video of the Conversations With Men series with Raphael Awen. In it we talk about the challenges for many of us, especially men, to get down to deep and vulnerable feeling. To actually feel our feelings.

Raphael mentions in the beginning that we are all emotive beings in constant feeling. The question is are we really feeling the feelings and being honest and vulnerable with them? What is feeling as opposed to reactions and/or states of being?

As boys (and girls, too!) we are conditioned to suppress our more sensitive emotions, our true heart reality. This suppression tends to result in anger or depression (numbness), or both! Rage becomes an emotion that is normalized in men rather than hurt.

The inner boy’s feelings are not welcome and sequestered to the shadow where hurt foments into rage. A protection forms that pushes away or shuts down in a myriad of ways. For the more spiritually inclined man, the activation of the upper chakras in cahoots with the lower chakras can create a bypassing of the most human heart chakra.

This may form as an abusive teacher/healer/mate. A narcissism is formed as a protection against feeling the pain of the inner boy’s trauma. There may be a self-destructive path that leads to addictions, self/other-harm, or possible suicide (one of the leading causes of death among younger men).

If we could create an environment where it is safe for men to feel what they are feeling as they are feeling it, with the ability to process those feelings as parts of themselves rather than being fused to them, I believe we would see a new calvary of men that have the wear-with-all to co-create a new world with the feminine in sacred collaboration.

A tall order? Maybe. A deep desire and need? Yes. I feel the challenges, I am challenged, yet with the support of like-hearted men and women in community, I am finding my way. I believe that other men too could find their way when the desire to truly heal the heart becomes the single most important thing they feel they can offer the world.

Please check out our video for more conversation and please share with other men that you feel would be interested in this mission of deep soul and heart transformation. Comments and questions are deeply invited.

Thank you for being on this journey with us. 🙂

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sacred Wound Of Intimacy And Vulnerability

Intimacy and vulnerability are the benchmarks of our sacred humanity. Without them we are avoiding our whole being, shadow and light alike. These are by far the most difficult parts of the healing process in my personal experience. Parts of us feel more comfortable on their own, with animals, or connecting to the stars than they do with other human beings. Given our vast soul stories, it is easy to understand why.

Authentic and conscious feeling is something that we have been conditioned and protected from doing. In feeling and owning what is real, there is a fear of being seen, of losing everything we have built up around us, or of getting swallowed up in the pain, and maybe even ecstacy! Being vulnerable is bringing to the surface that which is uncomfortable and/or sensitive.

At the core of this fear is a sacred wound that many of us are being drawn to heal. At the soul, or Higher Self level, we may find ourselves drawing situations that are meant to bring us to the precipice of this wound for in order to truly grown and evolve we are meant to face these wounds/fears once and for all. For me this is what has brought me into deep community with SoulFullHeart.

As I have moved back into closer proximity and soon heading off to Glastonbury with everyone, I am reminded that this is not just spiritual tourism. It is an opportunity to heal my intimacy wound as well as the Metasoul lives that are still in play in the 4D geography of the UK. What other lifetimes exist within me that struggle with intimacy? Being ‘on location’ brings me closer, more intimate, with these lifetimes and Metasoul brothers and sisters.

This becomes a prime example of how each moment is a portal into our sacred humanity if we chose it to be. We have access to so much inside of us yet we chose to acknowledge just a thin slice. Again, for very good reason. The true courage is not in the solving or the fighting, but in the feeling. The human heart is the first and final frontier. It is the doorway to our soul. The thing is, it has been through a lot of shit. A lot of fucked up experiences. It may still be. Yet, its healing IS our salvation, not the ignorance of it.

*****

Over the next two weeks in the last of the Free To Be 5D group call series, we will be addressing the Sacred Wound. The very thing that brings us around and around until we gain the courage and will to finally meet it where it is at. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to join us by offering a donation at soulfullheart.org/shop to get the link to the call if you have not done so already. I also offer a free 45 minute consultation call to see how and if the SoulFullHeart process is right for you to support you in this sacred wound exploration and healing. You can go to soulfullheart.org/sessions for more information.

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Relating And Responding To Global Death And Rebirth

My heart is still swirling from the event in Beirut a few days ago. Add to that a larger Event at hand with a pandemic of fear, hate, and rage making its way around the globe currently, it can be easy to feel an apocalypse underway. The narratives of Good vs Evil, Us vs. Them, Just vs. Unjust are all coming to a head on the world’s stage and the collective psyche.

There is no doubt in my mind and heart that a collapse and a revealing is underway. The bigger question is how are we relating to it? When events like what happened in Beirut occurred in my past, I would find myself in a sudden shock and heart pain, but then not too soon after rushing to analysis and conspiracy. There are also many who go down the despair road where the totality of the world’s ills cover them like a dark cloud. I have had those times too.

I choose to honor the deep emotional reactions to these events so that I can be with the feeling first. Let them be held by a ‘bigger’ me that is rooted in a greater context, yet doesn’t go there to bypass the feeling. There is something that gets lost in the analysis/finger-pointing and the despair. There is a personal relationship to what is happening externally as a portal to what is occurring internally.

That may seem like bypassing for many. Sticking our head in our heart is not the same as sticking it in the sand. It is about seeing where our wounding and fears lie in the soularium of our being. What timelines and aspects are triggered with all of these events and information coming at us at warp speed? When we react without first feeling the root of the reaction, we fuse to these timelines and aspects and wind up recapitulating the same scenario all over again.

For me personally, it is this feeling that we, as a collective family, may never heal into our most divinely-appointed timeline. That the fear and hate will envelope us all into a dystopian pit. Then I take that even more personally and can feel the timelines in which I have had aspects in apocalyptic/dystopic timelines. Lots of fear and trauma.

As I connect with them and get to feel what is theirs, then I can feel more of me, and what is mine. This sorting out brings a different perspective and energy from which to act. More love can enter the space and that helps to create the timeline we ultimately want, even the ‘evil-doers’, believe it or not!

We are responsible for our own apocalypse (revealing). We are responsible for which timeline comes into our reality. We get to choose how to relate and how to respond. If we don’t believe that (and I can understand why) we have given away our Divine-given power to truly create a heaven on Earth in the name of righteousness and fear.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc. 

Full Moon Illuminates The Need To Be An Ambassador Of Love To The Dark

Last night’s full moon drew me out of bed in the wee hours. It was obscured but oh so mesmerizing as always.

I was reflecting on a session I just had with someone in the afternoon, where we met an ‘entity’ that has been in her room for a few months, usually connected to in sleep. It has not been necessarily foreboding, but a bit of a trickster, yet some understandable fear from the inner child.
She was offered to have it ‘removed’ by someone, and that didn’t quite land square with her heart. Nor mine when I felt it. Many times these energies are seeking to be felt and connected with, they just don’t have a good sense of how to make that happen. Plus parts of us get fear triggers and that can distort the need as well.

We were able to feel together how this being was actually a part of another life dynamic that was connected to another Metasoul sister of hers in another timeline. He was actually seeking forgiveness and needed an ambassador of love to bridge to this timeline and her.
By looking through the lens of love and compassion, something new illuminated. Where once this foreboding figure seemed dark, somewhat scary, and mysterious, it now felt very human and very tender.

This felt to reflect so much of how parts of us see and react to the world around us. In fear, we light and dark. In love, we actually see varying shades of possibility, potential, and compassion with curiosity. We get to choose how we want to relate to that which we either don’t understand or that which we have a deep reaction to.

We are creators within the One Great Creator. Ultimately the Creator Itself experiencing Itself through our consciousness. With all the darkness coming to Light, I wanted this to be a reminder of what we can choose to see and feel about everything around us and in us. Therein lies the true north of our deepest desire to be in Love, with Love, as Love.

Full moon blessings and illumination to you.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Biggest Conspiracy Theory Of Them All

By Raphael Awen

There’s a lot of growing conspiracy theories floating around lately.

I’d like to float an even bigger one – that the biggest conspirator was and is love, as in The Divine, as in you and me.

Love became narcissistically and hopelessly focused on itself, as it was all there was. ‘All one’ became ‘alone’, landing in the antithesis of itself, it entered through its dis-ease and unease, a death, knowing that a rebirth would follow. It saw no other choice. In dying to itself, it gave birth to a firstborn, a perceived other, something seemingly enough outside of itself, to open a new playground, with a necessary game of good and evil, a game of masculine and feminine, a mind boggling game of epic duals and duality.

A game that would involve much hardship and pain, all of which could only be justified by the paling comparison to the stunning grandeur it would, if successful, bring about in the process – a perfect marriage of masculine achievement and feminine beauty.

You and I, Jeffery Epstein, Ghislaine, Bill and Hillary are all part of it. We’re ‘all one’ and ‘alone’ in it together. There isn’t actually two of us in the game and that’s why none of us are off the hook. We’re all responsible to the price tag on this endeavor. We all have great remorse to bear and great beauty and forgiveness to let in.

My reconciliation to the Divine is your reconciliation. None of us arrive fully home until the last one of us arrives fully home. The experiment isn’t over until it’s over.

The greatest of evildoers, those seemingly the furthest removed from the light, are actually souls with the deepest trust to take on the darkest parts of love’s mission. To see this any other way, to see an evildoer as an ‘evildoer’ is to leave ourselves excluded from reconciliation, from completing the circle of love’s mission. For if I’m not as bad as Jeffery Epstein or Hitler, then I can only lay claim to that claim by measuring myself on the yardstick of good and evil. My claim can only be a claim of not being that evil.

Perfect? No, but not ‘that’ evil. Sorry, but perfect only accepts perfect.

This leaves the judged and the judge both outside of perfection, and for the duration of that sentence, both in the same jail. This leaves the All One, you and I, alone, somewhere on the same yardstick that measures separation from perfection. Here we are, in our two track reality, perfect beings, in our perceived imperfection, reconciled, but yet, for all intents and purposes, awaiting reconciliation.

This state of relationship between us and other, between us and The Divine, is also mirrored exactly inside of us where parts of ourselves are left in 4D hell of separation, awaiting the love ambassador that you are to show up, and begin a magical reconciliation process.

Love changed everything and love keeps on changing everything. We are that change. Love is just having its own fun, and we are all invited into it, where no pain is denied, no level of hell on earth, but is instead felt profoundly in the minutest detail of hurt and separation for the portal that it is, for what it restores in us and to us, even expanding on the perfect love that originally undertook such a quest, as only infinite love can do.

We are perfection, improving on perfection.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Lion’s Gate Livestream: Energy Update & Guided Meditation With Gabriel Heartman & Kasha Rokshana

On Aug 2nd, 2020, SoulFullHeart Facilitators, Gabriel Heartman and Kasha Rokshana, hosted a livestream via Facebook, sharing an energy update for Lion’s Gate as well as a guided meditation to meet your Sirian/galactic lion(ess) Metasoul aspect. They share about the ongoing process for the collective as well as what is churning individually at this time as we learn to activate and embody our own healthy ‘Roar’ energies within.

Some of the links shared were:

‘Free To Be 5D’ 6-Week Group Call Series: https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dgroupcallseries
‘Free To Be 5D’ Book purchase information: soulfullheart.org/books
Autumn Equinox Glastonbury Gathering: https://www.soulfullheart.org/glaston…

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, writings, videos, and information about SoulFullHeart community events including upcoming group calls, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org.

For more information about a free consultation call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators Raphael Awen, Gabriel Heartman, and Kasha Rokshana, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Money donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange to support SoulFullHeart to continue provide free offerings such as those on this channel. You can donate through our shop at http://www.soulfullheart.org/shop or PayPal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen