Forgetting To Remember

By Raphael Awen

The forgetting was every bit as sacred, and every bit as much of a miracle as is the remembering.

I use the words ‘was’ and ‘is’ to lend itself to the illusion of time we entered as part of the forgetting. It’s all actually happening in the Now, beyond time’s past, present and future compart’mentalization’ (mentalized partitions).

There were things you just could not have experienced and felt without the forgetting. To for-get means to give up having. We gave up the awareness of what we were (are) so that we could have a dawning experience of re-entry into our essence. I like to say that we forgot (in order) to remember.

Both the forgetting and the remembering are illusory, meaning they are generated as a lesser reality, coming from a higher reality.

The cool thing about all this is that the forgetting as it plays out in the time illusion seems to be done its magic, and we are now in the awakening phase of our personal and collective consciousness, where even phases themselves are being felt as part of the illusion.

I am being guided in the moment with a deep felt sense of aching to remember, to be re-membered with my larger soul awareness, source awareness, Star seed, Star BEing self, Metasoul Aspects and who knows how much and what else more! I can viscerally feel how life in the 3rd dimension is a narrow sliver of consciousness bandwidth, that was so needed, and so perfect to be limited by for the time that I was, but now, that which was perfect has become toxic to my arising BEing, as I’m being invited into new places.

As I let my mind ponder, along with the parts of me attached to the mind, that even its orientation to past, present and future is an illusory part of the forgetting that it had to adapt to in order to serve where I needed to go, then the mind and those parts of me can let in again a latest and new operating system where something new is true, that wasn’t before.

So here’s the deal. The forgetting is happening in the Now. So is the remembering. The life I ‘lived’ in what now feels claustrophobically limited to 3D, is not past, but is also in the Now. If this is true, then it also follows that the life I wish to enter in the ‘future’ of deep and full remembrance is also happening in the Now. I don’t need to wait for it to arise or deepen. I can re-member with a past life or a future one…take your pick!

It’s a bit hard to make this assertion right now, given the protests of my minds orientation, and given that even this writing is intentioned towards remembering more and more with others, as in future tense. Yes, I do experience myself as remembering more and more with the passing of time, and wanting that. It’s like a part of me is looking for the fast forward button.

So which one is true then? Here Now, or one day? They can’t both be true, right? They’re like opposites.

What if they are each true in their own dimensions?

This feels very true to me. The rules of the game differ from basketball to baseball. 3D is a very specific game and convincing illusion, with a hard set of rules and truths all of its own.

This I’m finding intriguing then. What’s dawning on me is that the future I want to one day become familiar with in my waking consciousness, I already have it in the Now, outside of 3D’s world, and it’s as complete as complete can be.

This gets really relieving in the sense that I don’t have to employ the whole drudgery picture of enlightenment, or overcoming the darkness (or duality) in order to one day, hopefully attain or earn some higher existence. The games are merging. It’s a bit confusing playing baseball on a basketball court, but we’re finding our way.

I’m already the Highest Self version of me. Here in the 3D plain of existence, which is only one of many for me and you, it seems to be about ‘realizing’ this reality into this dimension. I’m given a dimension where a reality admittedly doesn’t feel real yet to a part of me, and is being tasked with making it real. I’m being invited to get to know this part of me and bridge to it through my Higher Self.

Talk about oceans of new growth wanting to expand out onto our awareness. Talk about every suffering you ever endured being critically necessary to the mission. Talk about everything being ultimately sourced in the one and only source of Love…. wow!

Key for me in this awakening is finding and feeling the parts of me polarized to the different dimensions. The part of me who did a 30 year career so effectively isn’t the same part of me who knew and hid deep core unworth and disconnect from source, nor the part of me who feels fluid with Unicorns and Archangels. We are so much more than a single personality. The Single Personality Disorder, as I call it, seems to be the kingpin of holding 3D life intact. As we begin to see ourselves as a makeup of parts, we are brought to the start line of a profound journey of awakening.

Instead of saying and thinking ‘I this…’ and ‘I that…’, try saying, thinking and feeling instead, ‘A part of me…’

…and call me in the morning with how that’s working for you… 🙂

This is the work we offer and the community we create in SoulFullHeart process work, and would love to hear from you if this work calls to your heart and soul. We offer a free intro session intro our weekly process.

Much Love,

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: 🙂

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