“Why do I feel so unlovable?”, this part of me says. “Why do I feel so ugly?”
“Who told you you were unlovable and ugly?”, I reply with compassionate curiosity.
“I don’t remember. There are just voices. Whispers in the wind.”, he says.“I don’t see you as ugly or feel you as unlovable. I feel you needing a reflection of Love so you can see and feel what you truly are. Is that hard to let in?”, I ask.
“It is. You can show me and yet the wind comes. Changes the reflection somehow. I wish that wasn’t true.”, he says as his head looks down.
“It’s okay, dear one. I will stay here every day, every minute, every second until you see the real you. The you that I see and feel. The you that doesn’t hold court for the whispers anymore. I will be patiently persistent because I love you. Always…and in all ways.”, I tell him as he looks up with tears in his eyes.
“I would like to see and feel that someday soon. It has always seemed so hard. So permanent. Like nothing can ever change and I will always be like this. I get that I have allowed this perception to persist as reality. I have not felt strong enough to choose otherwise. Maybe with you here with me, reminding me, showing me, feeling me, I can change how I see myself the way you see me. Thank you. I needed this. I may need it in an hour.”, he says with his head down again.
“Then in an hour I shall be here too.”
There are times when a part of us just feels ‘ugly’. I don’t just mean the physical kind but the behavioral and emotive kind. These are times we feel small and want to hide away from the world. It can feel like quicksand and get stuck in a loop.
When you can feel this as a ‘part’ of you then you can start to access a different flow of energy from Divine love source through you to this part of you. A stream of Love through consciousness.
Like the part of me said above, “I may need it in an hour”, then an hour I shall be there. It is an ongoing process of feeling and showing up that leads to healing and eventually a sense of liberation from the “voices in the wind”.
This is a practice at first and then just a way of being with yourself that is just natural and consistent. It is the alchemy of self-to-self love as well as Divine-to-self love. The transmutation from the duckling to the swan. The wounded ego to the Divine Self. All held in love and compassion, not self-improvement. Just self-feeling.
If you are wanting/needing to feel this alchemy within you to support you in your flourish, please contact me for a free intro call to see how the SoulFullHeart process can hold space for that connection and transformation.
Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.