From Victim To Ambassador Amidst An Apocalypse

By  Raphael Awen

Seeing stories more and more of what only looks like concentration camps 2.0 in the name of protecting people, it strikes a fear chord inside of me.

How far is this thing going to escalate? How prepared is prepared?

What shall I do? How will I know what to do and when?

I gave these feelings and questions some heart space inside of a Divine Mother and Divine Father womb space this morning and was invited to feel some larger awareness around it all.

When we see the polarity increasing between two sides of any conflict, we are antsy to find the right side, and once we feel we’ve achieved that, we tend to expound the virtues of our side over the enemy’s side. We become virtuous warriors regardless of the side we’ve chosen.

Regardless of the conflict, if you feel into the energy of both sides, a quite surprising common denominator is seen. Both the designated perpetrator and victim are feeling and acting out of a place of fear of losing something precious to them. Though they are at polar opposites as to the solution of the crisis at hand, they are totally cut from the same cloth when it comes to what is motivating them.

If that’s true, then I need only look at myself to get a window on what’s going on deep in the heart of my enemy’s camp.

Deep at core, I don’t want to lose my life. I may feel I’m higher consciousness about this than I was before, even realizing that my true being can’t actually die, but only change forms, but still I’m not outside of this deep core motivation to preserve something precious and avoid something feared in the here and now. And in those somethings, is where I was told this morning, that we find resolution, both personally and collectively.

Now, I can only possess these kinds of fears if there is still ground in me of distrust towards my outcome, without which, I could be rest assured of a good and pleasurable future.

Is this the exact same world that my enemy lives in, regardless of our perceived and chosen oppositeness?

It feels to me to be the case.

This whole polarity world is maybe no better pictured than in our relationship with money. I must have money to survive, or I can’t be of use to anyone, let alone myself, unless I survive, so getting and obtaining money comes first. Period. Me first, you second, in a world of scarcity and separation, that is in the domain of money as we know it.

This perception of the world skews our relationship so deeply with all of life, and really gets backlit when there’s a perceived active threat.

Then this week, as I’m seeing the ugliness getting uglier, I can’t help but ask, ‘who are the real lords above all this conflict’? It takes one into the science fiction realm of off-planet realities and beings who would appear to possess a consciousness level higher than ours, able to pull strings and levers to get their way.

But if these beings are not science fiction, then what might really be motivating them?

Well, what motivated all of us to create factory farms, the concentration or containment camps for the animals? I say ‘we’ because if you’ve ever eaten an animal, you have a share in the whole endeavor. That includes me and you and that’s a ‘we’. We perceived ourselves to be of a higher consciousness than animals, so we felt and found a way to obscure any arising pang of guilt towards the whole operation.

But when the Nazi’s did the same thing with humans, that was ‘wrong’?. Well, not to them it wasn’t. Then there were the people’s countrymen who turned on their neighbors turning in the lessers to the new superiors, amidst all the chaos of the deeply polarized traumas. People were forced to take a side.

But what forced them? It seems to me that what really ‘forced’ them was not any outside authorities, but rather this shared common denominator of unconscious need to preserve oneself.

When you feel that both victim and perpetrator, (regardless of which side you perceive yourself to be on), both share this identical motive ground, you step up to the table of resolution and true ambassadorship.

First owning how deeply it lives in you to survive, and where your own fears of death lay, or fears of a diminished future, live inside of you, you are now able to see your enemy for who they really are.

They are you.

Now, the judgments and polarities are able to be resolved, because the sacred purpose of those judgments and polarities are completing. Their purpose was to bring us back into remembrance with ourselves, which is one and the same with bringing us back into being re-membered with one another, and putting behind us our necessary dismembered phase of consciousness.

The whole point of the polarity that we all signed off on was to leave oneness, so we could return to it, and expand it in the process, to give love a chance to see itself that it didn’t have before. Time was needed. Space was needed. Drama and trauma was needed. But we never lost this essence of being love, and that’s what haunts our fears of loss.

We know way beyond any kind of mental knowing a deep knowledge of being divinity, and when parts of us feel like they’re stuck in anything less than divinity, it strikes this chord of fear and anxiety. Will I ever get to return to really knowing and feeling what I truly am? This is the shared ground and it is called vulnerability. No matter how protected or powerful, no matter our chosen and championed side, we can’t escape this vulnerability.

These vulnerabilities are the portal doors back to full rememberance that we all must journey through in our glorious and awaiting experience of being re-membered with love.

Love really is this big of a deal and it needed dramas this freaking large to come to know itself.

If you remember, we all remember, as we are all inextricably connected, even as we journey through a necessary phase of perceiving ourselves as a separate self.

Love this separate self, get to know it and love it, find out how and why it ticks, toks and talks. It is your personal path of full discovery, full disclosure, complete reconciliation and total revelation.

My guidance circle said to me this morning, ‘Though it contains some needful apocalypse, I assure you that nothing could be more rewarding, fulfilling, fun, than this homecoming. It is the future that is filled with good things and you are well programmed for it, quite beyond any imposed ‘enemy’ programming’ or highjacked matrix reality.

Much love, I hope this helps you in some deeply inner way, but also helps to answer the many practicalities and choice points you are feeling, just like the rest of us.

If you feel I could be a resource to you, I offer 1:1 session space and would love to hear from you. There’s also 3 more of us facilitators here at SoulFullHeart who might also be a better fit for you. More info here: SoulFullHeart.org/sessions.

Also, Jelelle and I are embarking on a daily video series release come January 1 for 31 days, that I invite you to bookmark if you’d like to get acclimated to us a bit more. You’ll find that in the new year at https://youtube.com/c/SoulFullHeartExperience and a lot more is there in the meantime.

Much Love,

Raphael (and Jelelle )

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Meeting Your Divine Self – Our Journey From & Back To Source

By  Raphael Awen

The farther we journey from source, the greater is our return to source where we are enabled to experience it for the first time.

This is the homecoming that you and I are now in, even as parts of us feel like the separation is growing.

It’s no longer the separation that’s growing, but rather your awareness of it that is increasing.

This week has been marked for me with another reunion with my Divine Orphan self that was triggered by some arising life circumstances, inviting the conditioned-to-this-life parts of me to feel and see this divine orphan self. I’m finding the beholding of this part again to be so moving and deeply rewarding, that answers the deeper questions at hand about the feelings of separation.

We were all initiated out of divine source into experience itself, and this experience needed to begin with what was not source. All of the fears, anxieties and depression we carry hearken back to our being birthed out of our divine bliss/oneness/source essence.

In this, we all were implanted with a great core wound, a wound that would underlie everything we would come to label as neurosis, things wrong with us. All of our attachments and quarrels within and without stem from this wound. But this pain and burden we carry is not only a wound that hurts, it is also an opening, a portal back, back to our true essence.

Your true essence is not conditioned by the conditionings of fear and lack that were needful for the experience journey. Your essence hasn’t participated here in the hijacked, 3D, matrixed, realm. Your essence remained untouched and protected from all of that.

The godhood you long for, you actually still possess and never lost. You just took on the experience of forgetting and of losing. In experience, you did lose divine connection and it hurts like the hell that it is. In essence though, you never lost a single thing. You are both experience and essence. More correctly, you are essence that took on experience.

You set out not to discover faraway lands, but to leave the land of your origin, so that you could return to it and discover it for the first time. As essence, you couldn’t know or feel or appreciate that essence and bliss. Bliss was left wanting to be known and felt and experienced. It was a risky endeavor, but your soul and the divine’s decided to fund this great discovery journey into reverence, awe and wonder.

As the increasing awareness of this separation rumbles in your life, you feel a fever pitch of everything coming apart at the seams. Everything you’ve worked so hard for to make experiential life bearable or even good comes now at this stage to be found to be not enough. In reaction, you may work harder as I have on gratitude and whatever other host of self-prescriptions to attempt to right your relation-ship with life, only to find they are not at all effective like they were before.

What the hell is happening?

You are beginning the return part of your journey home. You are sailing in the opposite direction. You are returning from where you came and the way you came. The return voyage has been negotiated through many lifetimes and so many experiences and you are ready now, equipped and prepared for the return.

The conditioning of lack and scarcity that you onboarded in your journey into experience is still here, and at times feels strangely and troublingly magnified. But this is all to be expected as you are called to feel and reconcile all the parts of you that are adjusting to returning to source – such a different experience than journeying away from source.

Now, you begin to get a sense of how sacred this forgotten core wound opening is. It is the one thing that would guarantee your return to divine source experientially. Your messed-up-ness is actually your perfection expressing and calling out to you. Each arising pain and ache is an intrinsic part of  the ongoing guidance as you restore to each part of you the pieces of their birthright that they are ready to feel.

Your preferences for pleasure over pain are a key part of your being human and of restoring your humanity with your divinity. You are invited not to bypass them any longer in the name of some kind of medicative spiritual practice. You chose to experience. You chose to want and to need. Those wants and those needs will need to be courageously owned and embraced if this voyage is to be completed successfully and on time (and in time).

As you witness the great fever pitch of insanity unfolding around you, ask yourself if you can think of any greater contribution to such a distress call than that of saving yourself, deeply choosing and embracing your own return journey home.

As you continue your return journey home as one being, you are reminding the oneness that we all are and share of this remembrance journey. Those around you in the forgetting phase will need your example when the time of their remembering comes, just as you needed it from others.

May we each embrace the perfection that we are amidst all that seems and feels so imperfect. May we set up a heart home with a great hearth of the warmth that will allow the fullest remembering.

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Arising, Authentic, and Sacred Masculine

In my ongoing journey of accessing and embodying my authentic, sacred masculine, I am finding where I have lived in the space between the Wolf and the Lion. The Wolf represents the more instinctual, primal energy, and the Lion the more kingly, leadership aspect. One with bite, the other with roar.

I have been aware of how both of these aspects have been hidden in shadow. A fear of my power and truth that lay within. The authentic, integrated masculine has struggled to arise for many men. There is a resistance to unleashing these aspects for a variety of reasons. When one hears the call of, “where are the real men nowadays?!”, there is a judgement in that somewhere rather than a heartfelt curiosity, both from those asking and from those of us receiving.

Yes, we are all being called to our power and truth, men and women alike. In that calling, we are met with our own personal initiations into the realm of our bigness and presence. We are sent on a quest through the hinterlands of the Shadow and what we have sequestered there until further notice. There is a veil of protection that lies in between. It is the meeting of this layer where we gain access to our most authentic self, rough edges, defensiveness, weaknesses and all.

We can respond to the trumpet of the call to action, and create an image based on someone else’s version of what it means to be a man in today’s volatile world. That may serve a purpose for some. A part of an initiation and growth edge. There is also going into what is real and authentic for you; your own process of self-awareness and empowerment that is not just about the collective but your own soul’s healing, maturation, and purpose on this planet at this time.

These energies are calling me to reconcile my masculine shadow and power as a sacred union mate, a community leader, a healer, and a teacher. These aspects are not separate from each other but integral to one another. They are also not separate from the feminine principle either. Again, integral. It is being held by this sacred feminine that the sacred masculine can arise with the trust that any shadow can and will be addressed with Love and Compassion.

This is my journey. My evolution into embodying and expressing more of what is true for me and not for anyone else. This is what I feel I am being called to live into and serve. To honor and awaken what has been hidden and forsaken in this masculine heart and soul, for myself and for those that it is meant to resonate with.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Surrounded By Love

By  Raphael Awen

We are so surrounded by love, full of love, made of love, that we needed the ongoing experiences of stepping outside of it, and then returning to it, as a way of perfecting perfection.

Love was willing to create a deficiency of itself, a shadow partition to cordon off some of its overbearing light to afford itself; and you and I actual experiences of this love.

We couldn’t experience love were it not for a deficiency of this love. Love couldn’t flow if love was the all in all, filling all things to the full. Flow and experience required a vacuum, something missing. Love ventured into an experiment with experience, for experience was another thing it couldn’t know, feel or have inside it itself.

Every desire, anxiety, joy and fulfillment that moves and shapes your life is part of this vacuum.

Love ventured into the business of lack and harm and wounding because any step outside of itself would require an opening, a portal, a wound.

We live and carry these wounds. They are our greatest challenges. We carry them personally, in our relationships with ourselves, with every other we’ve ever known or will come to know, and we carry them collectively. These portal wounds are everywhere. They not only remind us of our seeming separation from love, but also invite us to return to love at any moment. The access to this love is beyond instantaneous, for not even an instant is required to make its connection. It just is. You are it. You never lost it.

The duality we find ourselves in is the way home. I am, therefore I want. I am, therefore I am vulnerable to not having my genuine needs met or fulfilled. I am, therefore I am afraid. I am, therefore I need.

To not have need is to not exist in this experiment of experience. You get to be needy. You get to admit your vulnerability. You get to feel how deeply you yearn for fulfillment. You get to admit what you like and what you don’t like.

You get to return fully to the love that you are, where all the costs and outstanding liabilities on this balance sheet of duality will be reconciled.

You and I literally are this reconciliation, as well as the separation, both.

Love to you and through you,

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org

Pic above: Jelelle and I got to enjoy 3 magical sunny days on the coast here in Portugal last week, while making the trip to pick up Raianna Shai from the aeroporto.

Please consider joining us for our intimate and upcoming group call Saturday, November 7th. Sign up info in the comments below.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

What We Think We Own

By  Raphael Awen

When we fight, push and press to own something, that thing possesses us. What was gained by force must be maintained by force.

Nothing can really be owned in this way without it owning us. The energy of the currency we used to buy it, is then the current that flows into our relationship with the thing. We possess the thing and the thing mirrors that possession back to us.

It breaks down and demands maintenance or it refuses to work. It threatens us with being stolen and calls for more time and energy to protect it. It gets neglected and then shames us for spending all that and not using it like we intended too.

How could something be called ours and not be owned in this way?

It begins with realizing that you already possess all things. You are the thing. You can’t actually be separate from anything. The vendor and buyer are playing a game of forgetting, thinking that one can rightfully own something at another’s expense and that this other must pay a ransom to transfer that ownership. Many others join so deeply into the game that it becomes a reality of its own. Thieves, police, prisons, security systems and so much more support this illusory game.

Then there’s realizing that any material thing is in its essence matter. It came from Gaia, our matter/mother. Our mother provides all things necessary freely without price. All matter is mother. Gaia is the original and only rightful owner.

Grasping to own Mother Gaia doesn’t work. It’s like trying to own love. Love can’t be owned, only let in and received. The one who receives her does just that.

And if something came from Gaia which is conscious, then a thing formed and framed from different bits and pieces of Gaia, retains that consciousness.

And consciousness wants to be experienced, known and felt. There’s no such thing as an inanimate object with this deeper awareness of what life and matter is.

All of this invites us into new feelings of reverence and appreciation, feeling how provided for we actually are, how our grasping is a resistance to that infinite and quite scary provision.

It invites us into feeling how ‘things’ want to be held in our open hands and bring their goodness and abundance to us. Things don’t like being passed on from rightful slave owner to rightful slave owner, they want to be free where they can be and express all they are.

Owners become stewards of living things and nothing more, being gifted with the relationship exchange of care, blessing and goodness (god-li-ness, god-like-ness) that the thing brings.

I’d so like to keep experiencing this more and more, letting go of chasing money, chasing things, chasing more spiritual sounding practices of ‘how to attract abundance’, when abundance is trying its best to find a way into my heart and life.

Raphael Awen 💚

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Living In A Deeply Altered Reality

By  Raphael Awen

We all live in a deeply altered personal reality that we have needed to normalize to a large enough degree to make it bearable and doable.

We added a balm layer of amnesiac forgetfulness to help this altered reality hold together.

The specific location of this altered reality does have a location and coordinates on the larger map of reality, but even that larger map is yet another altered reality.

All realities are sub realities/royalties of love. Love created infinite number expressions of itself in a bid to know and expand itself.

You and I are one infinitesimally small expression of that, while at the same time holding all of the infinite fullness of that grand endeavor, being and expression.

As awareness of our origins arise for us in felt, feeling toned experience, we make more and more conscious reconnection with that origin. That is coming to know and feel our divine love essence. This is the update of love that is experiencable and felt, a ‘to:’ and ‘from:’ kind of love, like in valentines, not just a love ‘isness’ that just is, but can’t be transactionally known outside of itself. Love stepped outside of itself to know itself. You and I are that outed love kind of reality.

Even though we were outed from love, we never lost that connection to love, nor did we lose our essence of being love, for it was impossible to lose. So impossible was it to be lost, that love needed to go to these lengths to create make-believe realities mixed in with so much forgetfulness to allow for these places of experiment, discovery and expansion.

In it all, we all suffered from feelings of being cast out, of falling from grace, of assuming a personal guilt for such a felt tragedy.

These were experiences the divine was unable to have within itself were it not for you and I as modified expressions of the divine capable of this layer of creativity, forgetfulness and even suffering. But what is the point of this suffering, if not as the spiritual texts refer to, ‘a greater glory to be revealed’ in us?

As all of this is coming into our awareness, we are invited to reopen our quest and questions from a new place of childlike reverence, awe and wonder.

We can certainly see when we look at one another, or look at divergent parts of ourselves, how each of our personal realities is a specific sub reality, and all of that within a larger shared reality layer here on Gaia. But what if this Human/Gaian/Earth reality is only yet again, one of innumerable other realities, and other locations?

We can also see and feel how this ability to create sub realities is so embedded in each one of us, and how we do that from moment to moment, or from phase to phase in our lifetimes, and soul history.

If any of this feels true, then it really invites us in our awakening to humble ourselves to this background reality generating dynamic within to become reverent and curious about what it is doing and why.

How could we possibly awaken to its workings and invite it to go into new directions that our heart and soul wants to consciously take instead of living out the realities dropped on us from our environment or past conditionings?

How could we love, feel and bridge to the past conditioned realities in a way that completes them, and moves them from fear to love?

Are there ‘portal moments’ where we are ripe and ready to shift realities? How do we recognize and embrace those kinds of moments?

How do we relate to those who we have so deeply shared and created a reality with when they don’t seem done at all with the reality like we are?

Is the asking and living out of these questions possibly the return trip back to love, the completion of love’s experiment and expansion?

You are love where you are now, where you were, and where you are headed. Try as we may, this is one essence we can’t shake, for it is the only essence from which all other essences arise.

Even your shame, fear and anxiety are all a part of this expansion, experiment, experience, seeming departure and return to love. So is your unbounded joy, desire, delight and love of life, the divine and one another!

Deep, rich, unfathomable love to you,

Raphael Awen

Please join us for our 10:10 Divine Love Transmission Group Call on Sunday, October 10.

https://www.facebook.com/events/2992100991003079/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Deep Rich Unfathomable Love

By  Raphael Awen

Deep rich unfathomable love surrounds you and I at all times. This love is infinite, profound and isn’t based on anything you can do or not do to make it real. It is because you are.

So great is this love, that we need a resistance to it in order to make it experiencable. Like a submarine is built to withstand the greater atmospheric pressures of the deep ocean to prevent it from collapsing under the pressure, so are you and I built to withstand love, given how deep we are submerged in love. It’s like the love is too real!

We don’t want to withstand it totally; we just want to take it in, in measured ways that bring life instead of harm.

Each moment is a negotiation between the resistance and overwhelm of this love with our need and desire for this love. It seems parts of us are still functioning on old programming to resist the love with a tenacity that isn’t true or needed anymore for where we are now.

We are actually ready and need to let in a lot more love than we could in the past.

As we feel this yearning for more love, we are able to ask love to help us deal with the resistance, to un-engineer it, if you will.

We get to see and feel why love didn’t feel safe before and how we built deeper resistances to it; how we settled to live on less; and create a world with less and less love. That worked for us while it did and actually felt like love, security and safety to parts of us.

But that’s not what’s true now. Our digestive systems are upgrading to live on a lot more and higher frequencies of love. We actually feel worse when we resist love like we used to, like we needed to before.

Each time we negotiate with a resistive part of us to ask for and receive love, we experience love, tears, a good kind of collapse, that assures us deeper of this love surround. We also see that love couldn’t feel like love were it not for the resistance, being without anything to compare it to.

Love in this way is experiencing itself through you. It needs a you with needs and resistances to have an experience of itself. Love didn’t have this when it just existed in its bliss state of oneness, when it was all there was. Here is where we get to reconcile our darkness with our light, personally and collectively.

What resistances are you feeling inside? How and when are they expressing in your life, in what circumstances? How can you recognize these as portals and opportunities to receive love?

Love,

Raphael

Please join us for our 10:10 Divine Love Transmission Group Call on Sunday, October 10.

https://www.facebook.com/events/2992100991003079/

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

Navigating Love’s Overwhelm

By  Raphael Awen

Love as an energy, as a life force, always has been overwhelming even to itself.

The sheer high frequency of love needed to express and to be received so as not to blow itself up.

Love created its own kind of electrical circuitry system with built in resistors, capacitors and transformers all designed to manage this free energy to keep it in the domain of being what it is.

You and I have our own version of this within ourselves, between us and others, and between us and the divine.

Resistance to love is necessary for our current state of consciousness exploration to power us through that assignment of the divine, just as a sail on a ship is a resistance to the wind that then moves that ship. Love is transformed down to the level we are at to where it can be received as love.

For all of us, this is or has been at times in the form of addictive and life harming experiences, as the person is only currently able to perceive and experience love in the form of harm from others and self. Love is so overwhelming that it had to be mixed in with a ton of not-love to just make it palatable.

All of our current life experiences and relationships are just that – part of this current that holds us in a form of equilibrium of both needing and receiving love.

I stood outside at three in the morning a couple days ago, under a star and moonlit sky on our last night of two and half months worth of camping, having a pee. The flow of water through my body along with the flow of water through the nearby creek and its ever constant sound in my ears gave way to a flood of tears.

I felt how love has always held me so profoundly, particularly at the junctions of leaving and entering a life phase. I felt how every relationship I’d ever had, along with each person I’m now in relationship with, has been and is a part of this perfection, even with, and especially with the imperfections within those relationships. The time to leave behind this beauty and magic of camping had come, along with its own built-in irritations. I felt the divine completing some of my circuitry and rebooting it on a new and higher frequency, struggling to quantify or describe that with my practical mind, but simply having to accept my tears of homecoming recognition to be the only proof I needed.

You and I are this perfect right now. We are this connected to the divine at all times right now.

The imperfections are a very important part of the perfection. As we love the imperfections more and more, and effort the hiding of them less and less to ourselves and others, we progressively increase our capacitors to conduct higher and higher love frequencies into and through our being.

This gets fun and interesting to the practical aspects of our being, because to be here in the physical form requires some kind of exchange to earn our keep. What if the work needed to the equation of ‘you don’t work, you don’t eat’ could be this high frequency work of receiving and expressing these increasingly higher frequencies of love?

What else makes sense really now as we collectively progress through the heightened drama and duality of the present Holocaust going on in 3D? Love is completing one phase and bringing another.

Love is holding it all and wants to and will find a deeper way with all of us, returning each of us to the source of where we came and expanding itself and us at the same time.

Love to you!

Raphael Awen

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

We Have Boarded A Boat

By  Raphael Awen

We have boarded a boat and we are making a long journey.

Things don’t quite feel right or easy, even as much as we’d like to attempt to relax and take in the changes and newness unfolding before us.

Parts of us are not only asking, but also afraid about the new world we are entering. Will it be good? Will I find pleasure and fulfillment?

Make no mistake, we are in the midst of the biggest changes in our world, certainly during our lifetimes, if not ever.

As much as we feel like a good camper, or a seasoned traveller, we are still admittedly in a culture shock.

Watching people in the new land willingly and even want to cover their nose and mouth and breathe in their own waste gasses instead of unfiltered fresh air for fear of a hearsay thing they don’t understand in order to protect their health, is a shocking, strange and weird mindfuck, and something so beyond any language barrier we may have tried to allow for.

Many of you are in the midst of deep life changes and would concur that we are mid voyage, no longer moored to the old norms. But even the many who might be able to argue that their life as they know it hasn’t changed, as they attempt to live and work and live life pretty much as they always have are also feeling the rumble rumbling underneath their known world. It’s for sure not on auto pilot in the way it once was.

Whether we resist change or attempt to embrace change, we are doing it from a place of wanting to ensure our wellbeing and our outcome, which proves that life isn’t static. It’s always changing.

I know I sure do that when packing for a trip, whether it’s packing a familiar food or drink, or some other creature comfort. We try to predict the outcome and to avoid as much regret as possible.

But prior to embarking, each of us must settle on the amount of luggage we’re taking, according to our means and desires, whether it’s a single backpack or an overseas storage container, it still only fits so much.

How much will be enough? Will you even need, want or like the things you bring with you into the new world when you get there?

You have to admit, we’re all a bit strange and uneasy when it comes to change, even as we are, in the core of our being, change in motion.

When you consider that life is in its essence, infinite, this helps relate to the uneasiness we find within. Infinite is just plain scary. How do you choose one thing amidst an infinite number of others that by choosing, you are saying no to?

Infinity for the most part freaks us out. It explains why we all settle into crafting false finite gods of our own making for as long as we do, whether an overt religion, or choose to go along with any of the ready made lifestyles (deathstyles) we find all around us that promise to take us somewhere good if we just sign up.

I believe and I hope that the voyage we are now on is one of those really deep game changers, that ‘changes everything’. Admittedly, I still have packed away and have a dwindling supply of some of the old familiarities in case of disappointment as part of my preparation, which evidences how unbelievable and almost unimaginable the new world is that we dared to want and chose to sail for.

What choices are you facing in the unfolding change? How much courage do you have to choose? Where and how could you find the courage if part of you admittedly just doesn’t have it, and refuses to budge?

Will you simply let life and circumstance have its way allowing you to play the victim card?

You may well find one or more parts of you that have had enough, that simply don’t want to face any changes. I know I sure have. The changes these parts of us have faced haven’t panned out to anything good in their experience. Why should this be any different? If you can’t show up for these parts of you and their pain, you are choosing to wind things down, which is also known as suicide, whether immediate or in slow motion. 

Is this a wrap then on your soul’s mission this life? Only you can decide that.

It makes sense that these hesitant and resistant parts of you don’t feel ready for the infinite world, and don’t feel like they would like it there. They’re probably right in that they don’t feel fitted to the new world. They’re best not falsely coaxed into any shallow advice of looking on the bright side.

What if instead, you could enter their world, get to know them, thank them for the shit and conditioning they’ve had to hold to manage making the old world survivable? They are the ones who’ve brought you to this moment of rebirth. They deserve to be felt and honoured, not paved over with some positive emotional management techniques. That’s all part of the shit that’s collapsing. These parts of you are wanting and needing to truly collapse.

Let them collapse into your open heart of love, acceptance and curiosity. Allow their despair and needs to inform the set of your sails now as you navigate your inner relationSHIP taking them with you, leaving no one behind.

May we each find our sacred way in these deep and profound and uniquely personal changes we are in the midst of.

Raphael Awen

SoulFullHeart.org/sessions

The pic below is me this week pondering the new world we’ve arrived in, in a little village called Folques, in Portugal. Note the luggage and possessions – a thermal mug, beach chairs for two, and a side table. Where will you go and what will you bring?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Righteousness As A Portal To Our Fear Of Separation

Most of my life a part of me felt that being ‘right’ was analogous to being ‘good’. If I did my due diligence of research then I could find myself on the moral high ground away from the “shit-slinging”. I would be the righteous one and therefore immune from judgement.

In that mental, moral high ground I had to pack some things in my shadow to make it all work. I had to hide another part of me that wanted to sling the shit as there was good reason to do so! The ‘enemy’ could not be allowed to get away with their volleys of crap that they were hurling on the collective battleground. My intellectual righteousness hid my social and spiritual warrior that knew a war game was being waged.

At some point that warrior came out and had his day in the sun. Yet, in the end, the energy didn’t ultimately feel like me nor did it feel sustainable and desirable. But it was real. It helped me understand where so many are coming from in this volatile drama being played out.

So there is something that is looking for balance and integration. A place where reason, intuition, and vulnerable expression get to be married and partnered, not conflicted or suppressed. This is not an easy thing to do, yet feels like an evolution for me personally that doesn’t let any part of me get hijacked or hidden, but rather seen, felt, and heard, even if it is just within me and my beloved community.

I don’t need to be ‘right’ anymore. I don’t need to be seen in the way a part of me has needed to in the past. I feel closer to the Divine and my beloveds and that brings me the gift to just be real with whatever is going on inside of me. The gift to allow my own soul’s intuition, my mind’s understanding, my heart’s desires, parts’ needs, and the Divine’s guidance.

There is peace in that state. A trust that I, and we, are all held in this ongoing dilemma of ascension we have all chosen to be a part of one way or another. I continue to free myself from the matrix of suffering, guilt, and righteousness and anchor into that which is real, beautiful, alive, and courageous. I hope and pray that others will choose the same for themselves. It is this inner resolution that seeds the outer revolution.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.