Category: Sacred Masculine

Venturing Into The Unknown: Sacred Masculine Blog Series

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

 

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So what is this thing out there called ‘the sacred masculine’ or, as it’s equally referred to, ‘the divine masculine’?

The sacred masculine, like the sacred feminine, isn’t easily defined or contained in words, because they are both an energy, a force, a wave form of a specific bandwidth of frequency. They are an awareness of something more than what is in your current consciousness around the masculine or the feminine. It’s a humble admission of ‘I know that I don’t know.’ Herein lies its qualification to be referred to as the divine, or sacred,….it’s in the humility to be in wonder, and to have a reverence for something more that you want, but don’t currently have.

The masculine, however, is by itself sacred. Masculinity itself doesn’t really need the words sacred or divine to designate it as anything more than it already is. In a profound way, two guys sharing beers in a bar, checking out women and watching football is a form of the masculine out seeking to know itself. Even Donald Trump’s recently much maligned words about women is a form of the masculine out trying to know itself. Admittedly, there isn’t any awareness or consciousness around wanting more, or anything touching on an expression of what we’d call the ‘reverent’ to be found here, but even in this unconsciousness, masculinity is out seeking to know itself.

Masculinity itself, like femininity, is the reverent thing. It can’t be made any more or less reverent than it already is. The only thing there is to change is your relationship to it. It’s the ground of your relationship to the thing, not the thing itself that either lets in or holds at bay the reverence factor. To feel this is the beginning of reverence. It’s the beginning of making space for the sacred inside of you.

What is it that you want in relationship to the masculine? What is it that you feel is lacking or missing in your relationship to the masculine? This wanting and willingness to admit a missing piece is what is the essence of your relationship to the masculine. It is making space for desire. It is making space for longing.

That’s just about all for the moment, except that I welcome working with you personally and directly in dedicated session space man to man if what I offer and the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life offers calls to you. Our sessions page is here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Stay tuned for more on the sacred masculine!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about healing sessions with Raphael.

The Queen of Kings: Diary of a Heartman Blog Series

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

This is the sixth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.

me and J

Today is my mentor and life-long friend Jelelle Awen’s birthday.  Her special day inspired me to gush about her personally and publicly.  It also inspired me to talk about what a woman like Jelelle means to the journey of the sacred masculine – the making of a King.

Jelelle and I became close friends more than 25 years ago.  Our friendship became a transformative romance for me that led to a marriage and then to a child.  During those years we always had a close bond that seemed to have roots beyond this life.  Our marriage eventually completed, but the bond did not cease.  We continued to stay close and co-parent our daughter with all the love that we still shared.  Our relationship shifted to one in which she eventually became my facilitator in emotional and spiritual healing and now as a mentor in my apprenticeship.

What I wish to focus on is what happened to me, and thusly us as men, when I let in the transformative power of the Divine Feminine.  I could feel early on in our friendship that there was something different about this woman.  There was a laser-pointed sense of emotional truth that she inhabited that was different than anyone else.  She could cut to the chase faster than a part of me could run.   There was no hiding.  You could try but…good luck.  Despite some resistance, it was actually quite refreshing.  The parts of me who were holding the charade could finally give up the ghost around Jelelle.

As she began to explore her own emotional inner landscape, a newly empowered sense of feminine came over her.  Not in the masculinized “feminist” sort of way, but in a heartful and soulful sort of way.  Her connection to the faces of Mother and Divine Feminine energy laid the ground work for what is now known as SoulFullHeart.  It is the transformative and transmutational process of seeking our selves and our divinity, bringing the feminine back into a world of unbalanced masculine.

This process seems integral in reclaiming our sacred masculinity.  We have gone so far down the path of the wounded masculine that we stand to affect the greatest change this planet has ever seen by our hands alone.  We see epic environmental changes, economic instability, and a horrific nihilistic war upon ourselves.  We need to go back to a balance within ourselves and that means, as men, feeling our connection to the Divine Feminine within.  This healing work helps to open up our deep sacred roots in the Divine Masculine.  It is where we begin to claim our journey back to King.

I have had to challenge my relationship to women that I learned from both of my fathers and the collective male consciousness.  I have also had to learn to stand up for myself and shake the “good guy” syndrome that was in place in order to please mom. The authentic masculine is about holding our spine as a man along with an open, vulnerable heart.  I did not get this modeling from my past female relationships growing up.  They were all affected by the same patriarchal wounding.  But when I let in the wisdom and love of a woman who knew I was more than I was showing the world, my life began to change at the subatomic level.

I still have work to do.   I always will.  But I would never have had the opportunity to do so if it wasn’t for Jelelle’s presence in my life.  My call to all of you men who seek to actually be more of a man in a sacred way, is to find your way to the love and guidance of the Divine Feminine.  She is the Queen of Kings.  Through the spirit, and through the flesh, She will change your life forever.

Happy Birthday Jelelle.  Thank you for everything you have meant to me.

Sequoia Heartman is apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Real Men Feel Their ¨Heart-On¨: Diary of a HeartMan Blog Series

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

This is the fifth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.

1

Where have all the real men gone? By that I mean the men that are willing to be real. Real with their hearts. Real with their pain. Real with their vulnerability. Of course when I hear that question a part of me hears other answers. ¨Real men eat meat. Real men have no fear. Real men don´t cry.¨

I grew up with that meme. All the while feeling my inner sensitivity and the porosity of my heart and soul. A punisher and critic developed inside me to remind me how much of a man I wasn´t in comparison to other men. The sensitive part of me never felt strong enough, good-looking enough, smart enough, or talented enough to be considered a ¨real man¨.

I have done much work to support the healing of this wound. Even today, I still find myself feeling this energy inside me even though it is less intense. It demonstrates how deep the wounding goes. It also shows that as we heal our own personal piece, we invariably start working our way through the collective wounding, and then the archetypal. It’s big shit we are doing, and I want to hold that with reverence and compassion for myself and my parts. It is a process that has a treasure trove of challenges and rewards.

It may feel to a part of me that I will never get to my destination. My place of destiny. A place of sacred masculine kingliness. This is the other meme to heal. That somehow there is some lofty finish line. Some grandiose port of arrival where all of life comes to celebrate our victory. We made it, without ever really understanding what ¨it¨ is. Do we cease to exist when we get there? Will we be disappointed when all the fanfare eventually dies out? Or is it just another part of an infinite journey of exploration, growth, healing, becoming, and creating? An infinite art project.

I may not have those answers, but what I do feel is that I am on a quest of uncovering. Uncovering what it is to be a sacred human man in a time in which we have chosen emotional disconnect, spiritual absolutism, and physical imperialism. I want to heal my own shadow so I can let in more love and more light. The same love and light that can be overflowed into the hearts and souls of other men on similar quests.

Those are the men I want to find myself surrounded by. Men that feel the greater context of their personal content. Men that feel the sadness and powerlessness in other men that inspires them to reach out to be a lifeline for healing and growth. Men that aren´t afraid to feel deep pain and be expressed in vulnerable, salty drops of water. Men that have a love for women in their full expression of feminine power, beauty, and sexuality, while healing their own shadow at the same time.

As I walk outside, down the streets, and at the beach I ache to be seen and felt in my sacred masculinity. I want to walk around with my ¨heart-on¨ and be a beacon to sacred men and women alike. To be an expression of love, strength, courage, and compassion. To be a symbol of self-love, self-worth, true power, and sacred sexuality. I will continue to be as real as I can be. To be true to my heart and devoted to my soul. I will continue to choose who I wish to let in and who I wish to be around. I will continue to pray and desire to draw other real men who want to feel their ¨heart-on¨ too.

It can be a lonely place for a part of us that feels an ache for connection and transaction. It is easy to be less that what you are for the sake of relieving this ache. But then when you feel the larger ache, the ache for authenticity and deep resonance, it pales in comparison. It is a tug between authentic loneliness and false companionship. In the loneliness there is our truest self waiting to be born in the waters of our worth. As we hold to what we want and desire, so shall we be gifted with its presence when we have finally learned to love ourselves first.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life Website for more.

 

Diary of a HeartMan: Brotherhood of Sacred Power

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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I see and feel a picture in my heartmind. There are machines that have cords attached to the brains of men who are nothing more than slaves sucked of their essence. Above the machines are other men who are the creators and controllers. They have a sinister yet pained look on their face. In the background there are men hunting and killing other men. In the whole scene there is a play-out of control and powerlessness. In not one place do I see men in their full power together, creating and leading.

This feels like a painting of the collective masculine condition. Everyone feels alone and isolated, detached from their humanity and nature. What is missing is an authentic and sacred brotherhood. I used to call a close friend of mine a ¨brother¨ and even my brother in-law a ¨brother¨. What did that really mean? Our desire to call each other brother was based on a need to feel a deeper connection that we weren´t getting from other men. One that we couldn´t get from the women in our lives because there is a uniquely male ache, just as there is a uniquely female ache that we cannot relate to as men. And this ache isn´t satiated just by playing sports, fixing or building things, complaining about politics, or going to bars and trying to get laid. So what the hell is it?

Raphael and I attended a men´s group in Canada to get a feeling for what other men were talking about and feeling together in these kind of circles. I had never been to one so I had no idea really what to expect. The men in the circle were processing an issue that had been effecting them as a group and was centered on one man in particular. What was refreshing was that I was around other men who were actually being more real than I was used to experiencing outside of my relationship with Raphael. However, in the end it was really nothing more than a place to off-gas frustration, letting it permeate the space without actually getting to the heart of the issue so that there could be movement and healing.

In the circle there was a sense of brotherhood but it still didn´t hit the mark for me. Not by a long shot. Relieving frustration is not enough. I am certain not all men´s groups are like this. I don´t want to generalize by my one experience. One could say, ¨Well, at least they have that outlet.¨ I guess so, but why stop there? There is collective ache out there that is so desiring to be felt by those that feel the same. In all the expressions of ¨brotherhood¨ from the dense to the more porous, I feel you, I, and all of us are searching for love and a reclaiming of our authentic male power.

I feel ¨man-love¨ deserves its own dedicated blog space, so I will get to that on a later post. The loss of our natural power as sacred masculine beings has occurred over history. Our separation from our spiritual essence, I feel, has led to a collective experience of fear and isolation. The male psyche, without feeling its divinity, needed to gain some sort of control in order to cover over this existential terror. Over the centuries, many men, and women, have tried to direct us back to the source of our real nature as spiritual beings, but only to be rebuffed by the empirical, the tyrannical, and the industrial.

Men in days gone by gave their lives for ¨freedom¨. Men, and women, are still doing it today. I put the word in quotes because it feels like a loaded term. Whereas a kingdom is the domain of a king, freedom is the domain of the free. It represents power. The ability to live in your fullest expression. But what is your fullest expression? Is it to be able to digest all the entertainment you want? Is it to be able to buy all the coolest technologies that complicate rather than simplify your life? Is it to be able to work your ass off for 30 years only to find out all your savings disappeared because the fuckers in charge shorted all the stocks that were in your 401k? Fuck no!

The Tyranny of Industry has put more men in slavery than any other despot in history. Is that an over the top statement? Do you want me to find the ´facts´? If that is the case then you are in the wrong room. I want you to feel this on a soul level. Look around you. What do you see and feel when you observe other men going through the motions every damn day? What has this done to our sense of power? Are the men and women overseas really fighting for ´freedom´ or are they handing over their power to the grim reapers of the corporatocracy?

All of this makes me feel a sadness in my heart. We have allowed ourselves to be divided and conquered. However, to make this an us versus them only puts us in the realm of victims. We are not victims. We are powerful beings who desperately desire to remember what we have forgotten. Even the men who are ¨in control¨ are no different than you and I. We are all brothers in need of a community of love. Individually, you need to feel your own responsibility in continuing the story that I mentioned in my last blog. What part do you play? Only then can you see what choices you can make to move from slave to sovereign.

The Industrial Age has had a huge impact on us as men in regards to our balls and our hearts. We are in a time of great change and upheaval. The control structure will try to hold on as long as possible but inevitably will collapse. This is where a vacuum is created. What will fill that empty space? Fanaticism or grounded, human leadership? A despot or a king? Looking at the world today it is hard to find a single example. We have a destiny together, you, I, and us . Rome is burning and what comes out of the ashes is totally up to us. I hope you will join me in creating another picture more humane and beautiful than the one I started out with.

A Son’s Ending, A Man’s Beginning

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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Male By Birth; Men By Journey

By Wayne Vriend

I originally wrote the following piece in March, 2010, and published it on a previous blog. I wanted to share it again as healing the wounds between men and their fathers (whether possible in person or in spirit) is so foundational and critical to our healing into authentic male expression.

***

It had been over two and half years and I had not been back since the day of the funeral, until today.

I took myself, my backpack, my umbrella and a piece of plastic to sit on and set myself down, right on top of the grave. I was reminded of the times I was too young to remember of sitting on Dad’s stomach. I felt welcome and belonging here now. I snugged my umbrella over me as the rain was lightly falling.

I unloaded the green stemmed purple crocus potted plant with the fuchsia wrapping, that I had purchased on the way out, in front of the headstone. The light rain was opening their blooms. The colors of it all fit well with the maroon color of the headstone, which I took in for the first time. The front read simply ‘VRIEND,’ and on top ‘Jim Vriend 1934-2007,’ and ‘safe now in the arms of Jesus,’ and ‘Loving husband, father and grandfather.’

I looked at the photo of my dad in his early seventies attached to the wrought iron prop. He had bright blue eyes and a boyish alive playful happiness. Here is where we rested his body, committed it back to the earth, in solemnity, in ritual, with hymns of the church and a homily of remembrance. We all stood that day. Today, I sat down, on the earth, and remained there for the better part of two hours.

My father had attended church every week of his life, and felt a palpable connection to God, and remained his entire life not too far from the safety and comfort of his family upbringing. I’d often chafed with him in my desire and decision to explore beyond the bounds of safety. I’d often tried to be nice and not so antagonistic and hoped in exchange that he’d see my soul for who I am, in the hope I could see more of myself. I always felt crazy for not being able to overcome the wall between us.

Today, however, I felt the wall was dissolved between us, like it had simply never been.

I breathed in and out the incense I had lit that was wafting in my face. I read aloud the words again before me: ‘Safe in the arms of Jesus.’  I said, “Dad, how I longed to feel safe in your arms.”  His pained eyes felt my pain, and bouncing shoulder sobs shook me. My pain mingled with his pain for the joy he missed in not knowing me in this way, and for his not being known by his father in this way.

For the first time, the anguish became ours.

I shared with him a piece of treasured driftwood I brought and a jade stone, both of which reminded me of his love and familiarity for the earth. He accepted them with an ocean of gratitude, and we shared eye to eye tears over the gifts we had not up until now been permitted to give and receive.

The rain subsided along with my tears and I set aside my umbrella and jacket.  I said to the spirit of my father, “Dad, so much of my life, even to this day, has been shaped by the attempt at trying to feel your deep approval, your love, and admiration.”

He paused, and then replied in a cadence and tone that contained the world, “Son, I can tell you with everything that I am now, I have never ever met a man that I esteem higher than you, in fact you are truly my hero.” The genuineness of his heart and words I ingested easily, and my tears now were of deep gratitude.

The differences in our beliefs and choices in so many areas of life did not even require a debriefing here in the domain of heart and spirit where beliefs often only serve as a wall of protection and alienation.

I paused to drink some of the coffee and eat the bar I had brought with me, not wanting the host in him to fuss.

Eventually I said, through tears, “Dad, I’ll be 49 this year. I’m again embracing more change, and letting go of securities. I know I need to keep food on the table, but living for a job, and a mortgage is not what I am here for. I need to find new courage and I want to ask your help. Dad, will you help me?’

I waited until I felt his response and then let my voice carry his voice through mine, “Son, I would be so honored, and I will do everything in my power to show you, to guide you, to cheer you on in the choices you make.” In the tears that wouldn’t stop, I was able to feel some of the reason we’d been so unable to connect in this life and to give way to the connection I’d need with him now.

The coffee was moving through me, and I didn’t think the cemetery workers across the way would have an issue with me taking a side trip to the bushes. I relieved myself and returned and sat down again, digesting all that had moved in a matter of minutes.

My last visit with my father had been in the hospital, with warm smiles, small talk that differed little from any other visit, and no mention of his soon passing. I felt his true joy at seeing me. The young boy in me was struck by the weakness in his body and the bruising on his arms and legs, a sad contrast from the man I had always admired for his strength. Then his tone and focus changed, sitting up in his bed and with fore finger tapping the hospital table like a pulpit, he exclaimed, “I’m not the one who instituted the family,” reminding me what the Bible teaches about family, and referring to my recent distance from family. I knew he meant well, but I felt the gulf between us and our values (since I had left Christianity a few years earlier along with my marriage) as uncrossable. I kept the visit short and we exchanged back tapping hugs, “I love you,” and “I love you too.” And, I left, aching for so much more.

Here though, perched on his grave, there was no awkwardness, no taboo subjects, no inabilities to simply ask for what we wanted from each other, no fear of our angst, no withholding of our forgiveness and our apologies. There was just love that filled the space that gave rise and fall to words to assist the love.

It was evident we had both taken in all we could.

I remembered singing his favorite hymn “Amazing Grace” at the funeral. I sang a few lines now as I gathered up my things and got up. As I took in the scene and caught my breath, I realized that my dad and I had just met for the first time. I said to him, “Yeah, Dad, grace really is amazing.’

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Experiencing Life.

Crisis Of The Modern Male: Urgency For Kings

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment
Photo Taken by Michael Rowley
Photo Taken by Michael Rowley

By Wayne Vriend

What does manhood look like now, in these modern times?

What is it? How does it express? What does a deep and genuine self worth look like in a male expression?

Men aren’t generally given to asking such questions. It isn’t part of the current male persona. I want to ask the men I encounter: ‘Are you too busy subscribing to others’ ideas of maleness that you don’t have the time, energy, desire, or imagination to find your own?’

It is only our false selves who fear inquiring about whether our masculine expression is real or not. To ask the question is to be open to finding something lacking or missing and false selves have a hard time with that, given as they are to making do and finding a way. Our authentic self however, has no such judgments, or fears of finding something lacking or missing, but rather welcomes it as part of self loving discovery and change. The authentic self accepts how we were in life up until present time as part of our sacred process and journey.

In past times and cultures, one of the treasured male stories was to die in battle. Dying while fighting for a just cause was the ultimate bestowal of honor. A current honor story for men in the western world is career and home ownership. Men have always been afraid of being without a male story to live into and attempt to embody.

We are in a time of the ‘changing of the story,’ where our old stories are losing their appeal and coming apart at the seams, and new stories are forming, but not solidly here yet. Soulfullheart desires to be a conscious part of that coalescing into people’s lives.

Stand in front of a magazine stand and see for yourself. Fitness, photography, news, sailing, sports, technology, travel, architecture, cars, with sex sprinkled throughout, and porn at the back. All of it is an appeal to the ache in men to find male expression, male power, male passion, male-ness, and a stiff cock. It wouldn’t sell if there wasn’t a need.

Every man walking around has a boy part inside seeking his way home, to himself, to truly becoming a man. The ones who can admit that are actually our deepest current leaders of true masculine expression.

We ache for it, but our false selves also deeply fear what happens when just one man actually openly admits he’s looking for it, let alone finds some of it. The world doesn’t remain the same and it freaks out the powers that be in his world. He isn’t so predictable any more. He surely is far less controllable, way less nice, and things may in fact get messy before they get better.

And none of us can do this in a vacuum, without something to press against, without some story to affect, without something at stake. It is why you are here. Your world will change. Relationships will change. You will change.

In the archetypal movie Braveheart, William Wallace fires up his troops at the edge of the battle, with the choice between their lives or their freedom; both of which were at stake; both of which provided a deep sense of meaning to fight for. What is different today is that we have been lulled to sleep awash in freedoms and with no immediate threat to our lives.

Where’s the meaningful fight now?

What have you out of fear given up on? What power have you left laying around for manipulative and insecure men to gather up and use against you? What is it that you really want, standing in front of that magazine rack, attending that church, being in that corporate setting, bellied up to that bar, attending that family gathering? Could you say what you are feeling to those around you, and see where it takes you?

What is being asked for by the universe, by the Divine, in men is to cease from joining and giving allegiance to anything, be it an army, a church, a country, a family – any cult-ure where you are required to give over your power and autonomy to prop up someone else’s picture of manhood. You will only ensure that you will never find your own. For many men, that is the point. They are afraid of finding their own manhood. They are afraid to admit it. They’re afraid of of the journey it will take. They are afraid of themselves, and for good reason. They are truly powerful!

You already are a man. You are just still searching for what that means. Giving your authority away to an outside-of-you group, in exchange for some reflected pittance of your own power is fast becoming a done deal. The more we attempt to energize this gasping for breath story, the faster will be its demise.

For the moment, the new emerging story has more to do with letting go of that which we know isn’t us in order to make room to discover what it is. We will naturally go on to embody these new stories, but for now, we will need to find a grace to be with a feeling of vacancy. This however is not a vacuum at all, but a pregnant alchemy of something new seeking a critical mass in our collective consciousness.

SoulFullHeart Men’s Circle is a group of men called together by me, Wayne Vriend, to be a new exploration of what it means to be male, to be alive, and to be expressing that in the world. If this calls out to you, I invite you to join us. And, if you know men who would resonate with this message, please forward this blog to them.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.