Tag: infinite love

Premise 9: Union With The Divine arises through direct communion and healing soul wounding

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

sun-rays-through-clouds

Ready for more…

It’s day 9 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I truly hope you are enjoying this ride. I know I have been. I trust you wouldn’t be hanging around unless this was not only holding your interest, but calling to you personally in a deeper way.

That deeper way, whatever it is, is really the point of this whole tour. Like a song that fills the whole temple, and leaves you and me both utterly undone, that’s what I long for. Why settle for anything less? What that looks like and how we walk out our connection is all up to our choice, desire, and co-creation. I know I am called to create something stunning, that gets attention and changes the world as we know it. I can never do that alone, so then the vulnerable romance beginning question is ‘what do you feel called to?’

Then as we get to know each other and feel drawn to one another, what comes in some form or another, is the tender ‘I like you, do you like me?’ admission and question. Now, if this question could only be conscious, up front, while feeling it deeply and our replies equally as intentional and conscious, feeling-based and emotionally honest as possible! Many times, it takes years and deep process within a group to fully process our attraction and our lessons in a community.

I’m a leader in this community called SoulFullHeart. My heart has been broken open in several communities this life, in communities that sustained and ones that crashed. I can’t guarantee where this one will end up or how it or you will fare in it, and because I feel that absence of a guarantee, and how gutsy a thing it is for all of us to trust again to lean into community, it makes me want to give you this premise tour as plain as day. Eyes wide open and all of that…

I call it magical and mysterious, and I hope it is that for you on one level, but for the part of you who won’t be wooed by magic and mystery, I offer the clearest statement of our values, beliefs, and picture of things.

Now, hopefully, we are a few steps closer to truly getting real. I want to extend to you a foundation strong enough that it could eventually move you to being a part of life here with us in community, even leaving geography to join in, and sharing in the giving and receiving of this work according to your souls deepest calling.

Okay, that opened out the tour picture didn’t it? Took me 9 days to get there. I’m not really that interested in helping someone sort out a few emotional and spiritual problems. While that is a way more fun pastime for me than other things, what I really want is alive community.

I hope you do too and this call strikes chords in you that ring and ring and ring some more.

Here’s today’s premise called Union With God-The Divine Premise:

“Union with the Divine, in both dualistic and non-dualistic forms, arises through direct communion without a middleman, negotiation with parts, and healing soul wounding and conditioning leading to increasing sense of the Infinite Love that we are sourced from and our essence as a fragment of God.”

The short story of this one is that SoulFullHeart sees and has a rich God picture. Both Jelelle and I have had a strong sense of a God connection this life and SoulFullHeart reflects this. It’s kind of funny, trying to define this in a premise. I feel divinity itself smiling down with one eyebrow raised as we do this.

I’ll take the bait and play the fool.

We see that our essence is as God connected as we ever can be, but our experience and expression is an awakening process around all of this, and a personal one at that. So then it’s a picture of getting to know what you already have in a never ending deepening way.

Try and define that.

The only definition you can give is to live it out and experience it out into life, and I’d like to add, with others.

We see that the distinction between nondual and dualistic God realization paths are a smokescreen because all of us are inseparably both expressions. I am duality and nonduality both ‘expressing’ and ‘essencing.’ If that point is of interest to you, I wrote more about it here in my Golden Earth blog series. https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/golden-earth-tales/
If the whole dual/nondual distinction question hasn’t arisen for you yet, trust that for now.

We see the end of the ‘middle man’ in our God picture. Whether trusted spiritual teacher, guru, or what have you, everyone of these are a projection screen holding your bigness until you are ready to claim it back. If you can’t stop yourself from doing that for now, best make sure they are worthy of keeping your deposit in trust. But between you and God, there is no broker. It’s God and You, that’s it. And in another way, there is no distinction even between you and God. ‘You are God out Goddin’ around,’ as Yeshua likes to say.

Which brings up guides….we find it easy and natural to connect with guides as we heal the blocks withholding our effortless spring loaded and natural relationship to spiritual guides. Angels, daemons, Ascended teachers, Archetypal energies, departed loved ones, the list goes on. And ‘you’ don’t need to go into hiding to be some pure channel.

When we find the parts of us and their individual relationship with the Divine, we ‘defuse’ from a singular ‘I’ voice in relationship to god and now we can find the parts of us and their distinct feeling tones. You may well and probably do have very devout parts of you, Catholic even, and other parts of you that want nothing whatsoever to do with God. It is in this array and our acceptance of it that our true connection with the divine leaves the flatline labels we identify with and something alive either explodes or opens out into our experience.

As we get to know and negotiate with these parts of us, soul wounding that before held sway over our conscious relationship with God, now opens out to vistas you had no conscious clue existed. I say that because it was true for me and it is still true for me. I know what I’m talking about and I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. It’s all near as I can tell until I can tell some more, and then it’s up to you to see if your truth resonates with mine or doesn’t. There is no ‘absolute truth’ God picture in SoulFullHeart. Hallelujah and Praise Allah!

We are in something Infinite when we talk about God or love. Talking about it or describing it falls so short of being it. At least we can try and talk about the limitation of the limitation. Whatever description we can make about relationship with the divine, it may be true, and it’s limited, both. I love that. Anybody talking about God is a fool, when it can only be experienced and let in.

We are God trying to describe itself, so here even God is the fool along with us, out seeking to know, to play, to learn and unlearn. I’ll take that any day over religious devotion, duty and obligation.

My day awaits and so does yours. We’re just goddin’ around.

See you tomorrow?

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

Premise 3: Going Beyond The Body-Mind Reality

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

premisethree

Welcome aboard day three of the SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises tour.

We only have two days sailing behind us and already it feels like so much more. Jump right in though if this is your first day, you can complete the circuit when and if you want to anytime.

A sightseeing tour is a really good analogy for what we’re doing together in these 21 days.

SoulFullHeart is a way of life and I’m offering 21 scenic tour vistas seen through each of our premises allowing you to essentially window shop to see if this truly warrants any more of your time, attention, or money.

There’s no charge to take this tour, but to actually enter and experience the territories we’ll be looking at each day will undoubtedly cost you. If your heart is truly hungry and ready, the cost will be something joyous, even as it is also sorrowful at times. But, it’s only at the point of buying something from someone that the real transaction or exchange occurs. Don’t mistake browsing for buying. Choice and transaction in this way with the resource of your choosing is no different than in the material world.

So here’s the third SoulFullHeart premise called the Nature Of Reality Premise:

“SoulFullHeart invites you to be open to a different picture than the body-mind reality, which is that everything is made up of energy; time/space/money are illusionary; everything is sourced from Infinite Love; and our innate nature is both dual and nondual.”

This premise if we are able to open it out together today will be nothing short of mind blowing.

Like setting out on a whale watching tour, there is no guarantee of actually seeing any whales and many days a whale watching tour must settle for being a ‘whale looking’ tour. I honour that what we see together will be a combined effort of what you and I choose to see, intend to see and are ready to see. It’s a co-created reality.

However, we have something big in our favour. We’re going to be looking at the idea of consciousness expansion today, and to do that, we’ll need an expanding consciousness just to get in the door. Consciousness itself likes being taken in and noticed. It’s like feeling the whales under the boat reluctant to surface until they can sense your reverence, respect, and awe, but when they do, watch the splendour unfold.

In this way, we draw this out together. I’m not responsible alone to put on any show. We do it together if there’s enough trust and desire between us, as well as resonance with what is. I feel part of me rest as I say that, and it felt both important to say as well as a portent of things to come in the rest of this tour together.

Now that we’ve got our seats, let’s dig in.

This premise begins with an invitation and that’s important because we are all grounded in a current way of seeing the world. The invitation is to look at another way of seeing the world, but of course, we can only do that through the lens we have. We can’t shatter this current lens in order to pop on a new one, and nor should we, we’d blow all of our circuits. It’s an invitation to see as much as you can and to then trust that what you were able to see was perfect, and that you were changed just by the act of truly looking. It’s an ongoing and never ending process because we actually live in an infinite reality picture.

Let’s talk now about the body-mind reality. ‘Body-mind’ is, in the way I’m referencing it today, a way of relating to life, that in turn ‘creates’ your world. Body-mind is seeing the world through the five sense reality only of sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound. ‘It’s real as long as I can sense it with the five senses’ is the powerful reality shaping mantra. Now, I know that isn’t your mantra or you wouldn’t be drawn here, but it is so deeply embedded in the world you were raised in, and the world you live in, every day, day in and day out. Body-mind reality has a powerful energetic pull that can be described as a gravitational pull that holds an order of things and an entire crystal clear cosmology out in front of you.

Money doesn’t grow on trees. It’s the results that count. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And on and on the sayings go. They form part of the outlying edges or borders of this perceived reality. If you are a more porous individual, you even add in some esoterics into the picture to make it bearable, but you have yet to actually ever escape the power of this matrix.

Body-mind in its essence is a wave form frequency of a specific bandwidth. As we are energy, as we’ll explore further today, we are totally susceptible to the frequencies we currently have dialed in on our receivers, and then we go on to rebroadcast those same frequencies contributing to the strength of the body-mind collective-consciousness reality. Now, to use another metaphor, it’s no longer us that is online doing the browsing, but rather the prevailing collective consciousness, or the computer itself that is doing the browsing. We are now essentially controlled around all the things that really matter with just enough free choice to keep the blinders in place. ‘Would you like fries with that?’ It’s now a false projected reality that we are co-creating because create is what we do. It’s what we are.

Everything around us is energy in motion, a frequency band manifesting as what we see and experience as matter. It isn’t real as we’ve understood five sense reality, and, at the same time, it is real on another plane, but it’s real reality can only be seen through a new lens that is the new plane.

Let’s look at money to help us grok this. Money isn’t real. It’s a thing we co-created collectively and is only real because of our agreement around it that we reinforce every day by our relationship and interaction with it. Money is actually nothing more than a means of exchanging value, or energy, or ultimately love. But it seems so crazy real! My focus on money, my need for money, my future money, my lack of money, and on and on. ‘I must secure the money, and then I will consider what other things I want in life’ is the energy that holds so many people. Money in this way is possibly the most powerful prison-forming matrix ‘thing’ that holds us in its clutches all of our days. And it’s nothing but energy!

Money is energy. I am energy. You are energy. Energy always flows. All the things you like and don’t like about your life are energy flows. The computer you are looking at and the chair you are sitting on are nothing more than energy manifesting in a specific form true as ever to the frequency they broadcast at.

Money as real from within the five sense reality is an illusionary reality. If you want to break the powerful hold money has upon your life, you must recognize that it isn’t money itself, but rather how you see money, or more accurately, the lens with which you are looking at money, specifically the body-mind.

Time is also another powerful illusion. The ‘realities’ of past, present, and future are held together by our collective body-mind reality-creating relationship to time. How cool would it be to flip the table here and instead see that time itself is the illusion and we get to use that illusion of time to our benefit. Healing anyone?

Space is another one. As energy, we are essentially living in a holographic projection that energy is creating giving us the magical illusion of space. It’s like going to the movies, except you ARE the movie.

If you’re like me, you are feeling really itchy about now. You can smell something big, but you can’t grasp as much of it as you want to. These are things to be lived into. The conditioned world doesn’t give way in a moment…..we instead live our way in a discovery process, that again, has no ending or destination, just like the Isness from where we come.

Here the saying ‘It’s not the destination that counts, but the journey’ needs to be revised to something like ‘ultimately, there is nothing but the journey, forget any destination other than simply being on the journey.’

This so resonates with us all, every last one of us, every last expression of energy ALL being God. Yes, including evil. It’s all Infinite Love out seeking to know itself in an infinitely unknowable reality.

All is Infinite Love expressing as infinite possibility, and nothing else matters.

Now, we see how we are both, like God, rooted in both duality and non-duality. We are playing with the duality in things like more or less money, things we prefer and don’t prefer, health is better than sickness, etc., all as a dance of Infinite Love energy that wants to come to know itself in all of its infinitely possible expressions.

When I feel all of this, my sense of the distance I’ve covered in my growth or my healing, though important to a part of me who still needs and relates to some form of measurement, gives way to the silliness of trying to measure anything in an infinite picture. 1/2 of infinity is still infinite.

And that is why I can resonate and be nourished with someone who is simply on the same path, regardless of their progress on the path. It’s sharing the same infinite path, me where all progress is immeasurable. The path affords us a processing and transactional ground for our relationship. Outside of the path, however, our frequencies have nothing but static. I can and do love the person not on my path, but I don’t attempt to transact very far with that person.

That’s already true for every relationship you and I currently have. It’s the resonant frequency band that literally holds it together.
Change the frequency and you change everything.

Okay, that’s enough for today, isn’t it? Talking about infinity can go on forever.

I want to close today by welcoming your inquiry into how The SoulFullHeart Way of Life healing process and I can serve your healing process. If you are a man, I would so love to be in an energy exchange with you providing we both resonate with each other. And if you are a woman, my beloved Jelelle would love to connect with you around beginning the process. Check out our sessions page for more info, and let’s simply get on Skype together to talk about it. Tell me what’s real for you.

I also welcome and deeply take to heart any donation you feel to give in support of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can find our donate button on our home page at soulfullheartwayoflife.com. Nothing gets my attention quite like an email from PayPal, saying ‘You’ve got money.’ πŸ™‚

Until tomorrow and day 4, be well in your unfolding journey. And remember, there is nothing to count, there is only journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.Β 

A Visit To Golden Earth: Golden Earth Tales Blog Series

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

infinitelovegates

 

 

(This is part one of an ongoing blog series: Golden Earth Tales.)

Recently, a magical and deeply personal experience surprisingly opened out for me to be given a visit to the parallel dimension of Golden Earth. It has felt so magical, so alive, so meaningful, so personal, that I hesitated to share about it to allow for a time to savor and let in all that it was – and is – opening out in me.

The intent in sharing this is not to convince you that this dimension is real or that it is accessible, but rather to offer that it is, and to allow your own autonomy and truth to resonate or not. That resonance, or absence thereof, in my truth, is what will open this out for you, or not.

I’d like to begin though by sharing a key experience that led up to this event that felt deeply related. A week or so prior to the Golden Earth experience, I went down to the hammock on the sanctuary here and I could feel a need in me as I went there. I couldn’t put my finger on what the need was, but the signature feeling of a need arising in my field was unmistakable. I lay in the hammock for most of an hour hoping to access something deeper in a meditative space, but found myself blocked somehow. I couldn’t seem to find the juice to take me deeper into my own heart. My mind seemed to distract me at every turn. Strangely, in the frustration of that blocked feeling, and accepting it for what it was, something popped that took me into some of the deepest tears of a heart and soul movement that I have ever experienced.

I felt so achingly β€˜done’ with the limitations of the mind’s domination and limitation of my life and reality. I felt so ready to enter new realms of experience having been in a decade long letting go phase of life as I knew it. This was true particularly in the last year and a half having exited a 30 year career and β€˜exodusing’ Canada in favor of rural Mexico. The ache was at a deep level of even wanting to die β€˜if this is all there is’ kind of feeling. β€˜I don’t want to live any more at this level of consciousness, I can’t and I won’t’ was the further heart cry of this ache. Wave after wave of tears rolled through. I knew that it was a doorway into some kind of initiation, and I didn’t want to miss it, even if I didn’t quite know where to file it. It felt so visceral, that even attempting to write up a long account of it in my journal felt too mental and laborious. I’ve chronicled so many lesser things in detail, but strangely, I just felt to let this experience bake in my heart and see where it would take me. And take me somewhere, it did.

It was a week then following this ache rolling through that the Golden Earth experience occurred for me. I was again in the mid afternoon going to the hammock to rest for a bit. I gave myself to a pen and paper brainstorming exercise trying to come up with a handle for a new Twitter account, as I had recently changed my name from Wayne to Raphael. After an hour or so, I was left feeling a bit mental and dense, and hungry for something.

I casually decided to do a β€˜doorway’ meditation that I had recently become familiar with as a tool to access the subconscious. The tool works simply by creative visualization and a generous helping of self-permission. One imagines in detail a door, on which is placed a symbol or words of your choice, then imagining your self walking through that door, and taking note of all the feeling tones, messages or guidance that comes up on the other side of that door. Given the dense feelings I was in, I actually prepared myself a bit for a mild or even no result at all.

I chose the words β€˜Infinite Love’ as the words to place on my door, as this has been an awareness that was a recently expanding theme and longing arising in me. When I felt into what kind of door this should be, I settled onto a set of stately swing gates, made out of what appeared to be a wrought iron type construct, but was actually in my imagination, a glistening aura of wrought pearl, a two inch diameter variety. The word β€˜Infinite’ was also wrought in pearl, in cursive on the one gate, with the word β€˜Love’ on the other. River rock columns anchored the gates. A low-rise earthen berm completed the boundary and winged off into the distance on either side of the gates. A sense of invitation filled me as I took in the meadow beyond that began to replace my earlier mental preparation for a possible underwhelming experience. I could feel the energy was different on the other side and desire was rising in me.

As I approached the gates closer and took in their beauty, tears of homecoming welled up in me, with the feeling of my heart need that I felt earlier that afternoon now leading. I let the magical words and feelings of β€˜Infinite Love’ move through me. β€˜I am infinite love,’ I repeated slowly to myself several times, breathing deeply as I did. The sheer craftsmanship of the gates was kind of distracting from a technician’s point of view to the heart pull and invitation that they also held. I also felt there was no rush, and to take all the time I wanted to observe my surroundings.

I was so taken with the gates that it hadn’t yet occurred to me if I could just simply open the gates. Do I just go ahead and push on them or do I need to call someone? As I felt my desire to enter and, like magic, my energy and desire and readiness to enter simply opened the gates. I was reminded of the motor mechanisms and remote control devices on the entrances to housing complexes. Here though: no devices, no noise pollution to disturb the beauty and magic. My energy was the β€˜key fob’ of entry.

When I walked through the gates, I immediately felt a shift in the heart porosity and density. My needs and desires and aches were all immediately heightened. I also felt an overwhelming sense of home. The contrast of the ache for home and finding it at the same time was disorienting. I had to β€˜just breathe’ if I was going to be able to take in any more. Divine Father appeared just as I was feeling the need to be hosted on whatever this tour would be. I was grateful for such a trusted guide. As I stood in the now tree surrounded meadow (landscapes morph easily here I learned) with Divine Father patiently at my side, I could do nothing but weep at taking in the being at home feeling. A deer stepped out of the trees and came toward us. The deer easily telepathed that all I was feeling was landing in its heart. β€œI know…I know…welcome, welcome,” he said. He then welcomed my touch, which gave me a grounding point of contact and helped me shift gears to let in more.

A natural desire arose to explore, check things out, then a bit more overwhelming feelings of β€˜where do I even begin?’ Divine Father suggested a coffee shop and that felt perfect. We were both effortlessly transported to an outdoor coffee shop nestled in amongst huge evergreen trees called, β€˜The Golden Earth Café’. The wait staff was unlike any I had ever experienced before, totally connected and feeling. The coffee was also a completely new experience and taste, so rejuvenating. Divine Father seemed to be just giving me space to expansively feel myself as the center of things, fading in and out as I needed him. I couldn’t help but feel all my previous years, back in Canada, early in the mornings having a Tim Horton’s coffee shop of my choice all to myself as a sacred ritual space to begin my day.

About then, a friend came by and sat down. Back in my Tim Horton’s days, I would most often have felt his presence as an intrusion. Here and now though, we communicated so heartfully and again, that effortless quality that seemed to pervade everything so far. The conversation was the most profound conversation I’d ever had with another human being. There was a complete absence of any posturing and unworthiness on either of our parts that normally chokes the flow of relationship. No fears of rejection, or if they were present, they were too small to be picked up on my radar. I felt so completely nourished by the exchange, opened out even more and enlivened. This was exactly what I had longed for all of my life to find inside of male friendship. Here, it seemed to be just the norm. I wondered if I might come to take this for granted some day.

After we were done at the CafΓ©, a further desire to explore arose. Divine Father, reading my mind, as well as my past life enjoyments, offered we could take in some of the β€˜city.’ Transport was again only a thought away and the city I learned is not set in stone or concrete as it were. Rather, the city just materializes in the moment in front of the purposes and needs that arise for it, and it makes no environmental footprint somewowhow. The architecture, the cityscape, the detail was anything but thrown together, but each building lovingly energized and appointed, part of a completely different ethos. I could do nothing but look and feel myself, as a part of this wow. Divine Father said this city was put together just for our afternoon leisure, and it was β€˜constructed’ out of my need along with the mood I was in. It could be replicated if I needed it to be, but the tendency here was for settings to morph and change as often as we do.

I then reached my limit for what I could take in, and Father vibed that it was best not to push it, pace myself, and that I could come back β€˜whenever.’ My return to the hammock back on the sanctuary wasn’t an issue because during the whole experience, I felt like I was both in Golden Earth and the hammock simultaneously. The shepherd and a flock of sheep on the sanctuary had came through at one point during the time at the CafΓ© and bridging between the two worlds felt like an easy and grounded part of the magic. This wasn’t an β€˜out of body’ experience, not yet at least.

Attempting to summarize this experience only adds to the questions that surround it. I will however offer a few observations and questions.

Willingness to feel ones emerging despair and hunger for more feels key to accessing this parallel dimension. Maybe this is the point of the time we spend in the β€˜time illusion’ of this 5-sense based made up β€˜reality’ we call earth; fully basking in all that earth life has to offer and coming eventually to our deep longing for more, even to the point of being done with previously treasured aspects of the earth reality. It’s hard for me to imagine myself simply stumbling upon Golden Earth while still given to and happy with my previous lifestyle as a painting contractor. The frequencies of each are simply too far apart to bridge. None of us are done with anything till we are, and until we are; the appetite to take us to a new place just isn’t there.

In an infinite-love, infinite-possibility reality, wouldn’t this hunger-for-more be way more natural than camping forever in any kind of heightened attainment? It would seem that once and for all β€˜full’ fulfillment is never actually attainable, but instead something more akin to our appetite for food or sex; a back and forth of satiation, digestion and hunger for more.

So what’s happening with your hunger for more as you read this? Is my story synchronistic for you in something related to your journey, or something you’ve asked the universe for? Is there a choice or action you feel as a next step in relation to this? I’d love to hear from you what it’s about, or support you in any way I can. You can reach me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com, or if you prefer, through the comment box on this blog.

Note: An audio with more on my visit to Golden Earth is here.

Raphael Awen is a co-founder of and teacher at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary.Β 

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