Entering The Loops Of Core Wounds

by Kalayna Colibri

core wounding

Core wounds play within us like looping lyrics to a song which you can’t remember what it’s called, but you really wish you could… it’s an unfolding mystery, wrapped in clues of layers of reaction and tears too as you make space for the parts that have been holding on to so much, for so long.

Sometimes these lyrical loops last for years and years, sometimes even lifetime within lifetime too. The same messages, the same patterns, are highlighted for us over and over again by parts within us – some that want to keep paving it over and some that want to be felt for the reasons why they’ve been holding this loop in place… and why they find it so hard to let it go.

It takes very specific life circumstances, a certain amount of love surrounding us and flowing within from us to us, for these loops to become more apparent, amplified, even to the point where you feel as if you are going completely crazy or that there really won’t ever be another side to the endless abyss of it all. This is often when we enter the darkest forest of our lives, the Dark Night, yet also the most brilliantly dawning Bright Day approaching. So many identity fragments coming apart at the seams, so much that has been buried deep within, now comes up and out, all held blessedly in Divine Love. These are the times when your closest possible relationship with the Divine can come in and be with you… when new awakenings arise, letting the purest frequencies of love in, so pure that the mind cannot track it, as it’s not something experienced in 3D life.

The bruises at the core of your heart… these are being touched now, as much as parts of you are ready to let in, even when they don’t think they’re all that ready to do so. Life finds a way to be a conduit for this healing, bringing you healing paths that could help you go into it, either by bringing the wounding more forward through taking in abuse from false or unhumbled healers, or by taking in pure love frequencies that can flow to you through the hearts of healers and leaders that are doing the same work they are leading you to do. Either way, there is an opportunity for deep empowerment and letting in of YOU, of the you that wants to birth into and through your heart, providing a balm for all that has been painful and hard within… the cycles of inner punishment, inner belittling, inner bullying, inner battles, that want to come to new conclusions or inconclusions, and a letting in of the wonder of life, the wonder of the world, the wonder of YOU.

Step by step, layer by layer, Divine invitation by Divine invitation, you can and will find your way in deeper… whether this completes for you in this life cycle or in another one to be realized. ❤


The work we do and offer in SoulFullHeart, reaches into these hard-to-feel and often hard-to-really-see places inside of us and inside of you. There is so much we can illuminate together through session space and other offerings as well. To learn more about the SoulFullHeart healing process and the 30 min free intro we offer, please visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Collapse and Disclosure As A Reflection of Our Inner World



Disclosure is a hot topic in the 5D universe and beyond.  I have not delved as deeply as my SoulFullHeart friend and mentor, Raphael Awen, but I have taken in a bit and have wanted to feel it from a more contextual level.  It is easy for the masculine/linear side of us to go into the deep details as there is some incredibly fascinating information being unearthed.  So much has been hidden from us in regard to our contact with star beings, repression of technologies, and the influence of darker forces that have been at the helm up until now.  

In 4D consciousness there is a deep anger and resentment at all that has occurred.  Many people have been in the Disclosure game for a long time.  They are the messengers that have worked tirelessly to get this information out there.  There is a lot to react to.  For me it began with the story of Collapse.  The one that picked up speed after the 2008 financial crisis.  So much was happening before then but that feels like a pivot point.  There are other stories before then as well but that could be for a later discussion.  The time of Collapse in hindsight feels as though there was a collective internal collapse happening.  The structures that we were trying to hold up inside were no longer finding any solid ground to support it.  The thread of our collective tapestry was unraveling and the world was not behaving the same anymore.  There was a big outbreath of WTF?.  

More people began to wake to the reality that there was a charade going on.  But since as above, is below there must also have been a truth in that for each of us individually.  It feels reflective of a false world inside of us that was created in response to the false one on the outside.  We all created together because we just didn`t consciously know better.  But somewhere deeper we did.  We cannot play victim to it as then it takes away the power that is inherent us all.  We created it and we had to collapse it.  We couldn`t bare it anymore.  

Individually, this represents a time when we come to an awakening inside our emotional body.  The mental body just loses its grip.  For the wounded masculine, this is a very difficult process.  It has been so used to suppressing its emotions for the fear of feeling it.  I get that this is a general statement and not meant to cover individuals.  The power structure outside did its very best to hold up the house of cards, and so has the wounded masculine.  But this is was a great event!   It has helped to wake up even more men, and women, to the nature of our circumstance.  The realization that there is something happening inside us that was put to sleep in the control matrix.  

Now we are in the throws of the Era of Disclosure.  Another awakening into the deeper machinations of what has been going on behind the veil of deception.  But I feel it important to emphasize we have co-created it in order to learn from it.  This keeps us empowered.  We are not only hearing of a trove of information about technologies and alliances, we are learning more about the nature of our Reality.  Forget about economic collapse.  This stuff changes everything!  If we look at this time as a spiritual Disclosure, we can see that we are being shown how amazing we ARE and that we are a part of a vast experience that expands the territories of our limited consciousness.  It is more than social justice, it is social evolution on a galactic level!  So with each piece of information that is being shared, it is like a ray of light that is entering our BEing to upgrade our current operating system.  This new `information` sends up old emotional congestions that need healing for integration that opens up more space for more light and love to enter our true sacred, crystalline bodies.  

But it is not an easy process.  A  lot of this energy may not be ours personally and it can feel like we are moving mountains.  As men, we have tended to be a bit less connected to our emotions, so this back up can be a difficult one for some.  I feel it at times myself.  I have done a lot of work to clear my block and open my heart as much as I can but there are still things that come up and may still but it is all about how vulnerable we can be in each moment so we can heal all the block inside.  This is what we do daily in the SoulFullHeart community.  I don`t mean we are suffering. I mean we are feeling ourselves and what may come up for ourselves that need attention and process if needed.  There are many ways that we administer this healing to ourselves and with each other.

So for many men, Disclosure is first a mental digestion, then an emotional and spiritual one. This is the 4D Man.  The man who feels that there is inner work to be done, to embody more of his 5D or Cosmic Sacred Masculine.  As one who is on this daily path of continued healing, awakening, and embodying, I offer my heart and experience to those that are feeling that rumble inside.  That palpable discomfort and excitement  from disclosure.  The veil continues to lift each day and we will find ourselves in new territory as human men, and of course women.  More will start to surface and if you need help navigating that I would be honored to serve that.  Thank you for all the work you are doing now during these times as it helps us all to heal faster and easier.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com


Premise 9: Union With The Divine arises through direct communion and healing soul wounding

By Raphael Awen


Ready for more…

It’s day 9 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I truly hope you are enjoying this ride. I know I have been. I trust you wouldn’t be hanging around unless this was not only holding your interest, but calling to you personally in a deeper way.

That deeper way, whatever it is, is really the point of this whole tour. Like a song that fills the whole temple, and leaves you and me both utterly undone, that’s what I long for. Why settle for anything less? What that looks like and how we walk out our connection is all up to our choice, desire, and co-creation. I know I am called to create something stunning, that gets attention and changes the world as we know it. I can never do that alone, so then the vulnerable romance beginning question is ‘what do you feel called to?’

Then as we get to know each other and feel drawn to one another, what comes in some form or another, is the tender ‘I like you, do you like me?’ admission and question. Now, if this question could only be conscious, up front, while feeling it deeply and our replies equally as intentional and conscious, feeling-based and emotionally honest as possible! Many times, it takes years and deep process within a group to fully process our attraction and our lessons in a community.

I’m a leader in this community called SoulFullHeart. My heart has been broken open in several communities this life, in communities that sustained and ones that crashed. I can’t guarantee where this one will end up or how it or you will fare in it, and because I feel that absence of a guarantee, and how gutsy a thing it is for all of us to trust again to lean into community, it makes me want to give you this premise tour as plain as day. Eyes wide open and all of that…

I call it magical and mysterious, and I hope it is that for you on one level, but for the part of you who won’t be wooed by magic and mystery, I offer the clearest statement of our values, beliefs, and picture of things.

Now, hopefully, we are a few steps closer to truly getting real. I want to extend to you a foundation strong enough that it could eventually move you to being a part of life here with us in community, even leaving geography to join in, and sharing in the giving and receiving of this work according to your souls deepest calling.

Okay, that opened out the tour picture didn’t it? Took me 9 days to get there. I’m not really that interested in helping someone sort out a few emotional and spiritual problems. While that is a way more fun pastime for me than other things, what I really want is alive community.

I hope you do too and this call strikes chords in you that ring and ring and ring some more.

Here’s today’s premise called Union With God-The Divine Premise:

“Union with the Divine, in both dualistic and non-dualistic forms, arises through direct communion without a middleman, negotiation with parts, and healing soul wounding and conditioning leading to increasing sense of the Infinite Love that we are sourced from and our essence as a fragment of God.”

The short story of this one is that SoulFullHeart sees and has a rich God picture. Both Jelelle and I have had a strong sense of a God connection this life and SoulFullHeart reflects this. It’s kind of funny, trying to define this in a premise. I feel divinity itself smiling down with one eyebrow raised as we do this.

I’ll take the bait and play the fool.

We see that our essence is as God connected as we ever can be, but our experience and expression is an awakening process around all of this, and a personal one at that. So then it’s a picture of getting to know what you already have in a never ending deepening way.

Try and define that.

The only definition you can give is to live it out and experience it out into life, and I’d like to add, with others.

We see that the distinction between nondual and dualistic God realization paths are a smokescreen because all of us are inseparably both expressions. I am duality and nonduality both ‘expressing’ and ‘essencing.’ If that point is of interest to you, I wrote more about it here in my Golden Earth blog series. https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/golden-earth-tales/
If the whole dual/nondual distinction question hasn’t arisen for you yet, trust that for now.

We see the end of the ‘middle man’ in our God picture. Whether trusted spiritual teacher, guru, or what have you, everyone of these are a projection screen holding your bigness until you are ready to claim it back. If you can’t stop yourself from doing that for now, best make sure they are worthy of keeping your deposit in trust. But between you and God, there is no broker. It’s God and You, that’s it. And in another way, there is no distinction even between you and God. ‘You are God out Goddin’ around,’ as Yeshua likes to say.

Which brings up guides….we find it easy and natural to connect with guides as we heal the blocks withholding our effortless spring loaded and natural relationship to spiritual guides. Angels, daemons, Ascended teachers, Archetypal energies, departed loved ones, the list goes on. And ‘you’ don’t need to go into hiding to be some pure channel.

When we find the parts of us and their individual relationship with the Divine, we ‘defuse’ from a singular ‘I’ voice in relationship to god and now we can find the parts of us and their distinct feeling tones. You may well and probably do have very devout parts of you, Catholic even, and other parts of you that want nothing whatsoever to do with God. It is in this array and our acceptance of it that our true connection with the divine leaves the flatline labels we identify with and something alive either explodes or opens out into our experience.

As we get to know and negotiate with these parts of us, soul wounding that before held sway over our conscious relationship with God, now opens out to vistas you had no conscious clue existed. I say that because it was true for me and it is still true for me. I know what I’m talking about and I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about. It’s all near as I can tell until I can tell some more, and then it’s up to you to see if your truth resonates with mine or doesn’t. There is no ‘absolute truth’ God picture in SoulFullHeart. Hallelujah and Praise Allah!

We are in something Infinite when we talk about God or love. Talking about it or describing it falls so short of being it. At least we can try and talk about the limitation of the limitation. Whatever description we can make about relationship with the divine, it may be true, and it’s limited, both. I love that. Anybody talking about God is a fool, when it can only be experienced and let in.

We are God trying to describe itself, so here even God is the fool along with us, out seeking to know, to play, to learn and unlearn. I’ll take that any day over religious devotion, duty and obligation.

My day awaits and so does yours. We’re just goddin’ around.

See you tomorrow?

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.