Premise 21: Perfect Makes Practice!

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to the LAST day of this 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

I’m hoping all the mystery and magic of this tour opens out in a big way for you and I together in this last day together, like a grand finale of heart and soul fireworks somehow.

Today we explore the Processes and Practices Premise.

It goes like this:

“It is important to engage in regular (ideally every day) practices and processes to awaken your SoulFullHeart Self, including creative visualization meditation, journaling and verbal dialogue with your parts, sessions with your SoulFullHeart Facilitator, and chakra cleansing.”

But, you may well object, practice isn’t always fun or one’s first choice of things to engage in. I get that. We tend to have a big should and discipline energy around anything calling for practice. I’d like to see if we can begin to turn that around for you with this final tour day together in these words.

We’ve all heard the saying that ‘Practice makes perfect.’ I’d like to offer you a revision, or as we like to call it, a ‘reframe’, on that to ‘Perfect makes practice.’

You see, in your deepest essence, you are already right now as perfect as you ever will be. You can’t actually become anymore of the anythings that you desire spiritually. You were born out of perfection into perfection, as a soul, as a body, as a spirit, as a human. You can actually feel this frequency of your own perfection if you tune it in (and here comes the practice part) and practice it a bit.

You see, you can only practice what you are. You cannot practice to become. Practicing to become leaves you deflated and in a self-reliant limited picture.

Here’s an example. I’ve lived in Mexico for the last 2 years and have picked up just enough Spanish to transact the essentials. I’m no where’s close to conversational. In fact, a complete Spanish sentence trips me up, whether I’m hearing it or trying to patch it together to speak it. But the Spanish I speak, I speak with reverence and heart. When I transact words and meaning with the locals, there is a different frequency to it than the deadened use of language that all native speakers of any language tend to exude, where the miracle of linguistics languishes. So, in one way, I’m totally stumbling along, but in another way, because of my need, my open heart, and childlike willingness to be childlike; love transacts. So, I say, proudly, that I speak Spanish ‘muy bonita’ – very beautifully. But I’ve dropped off from doing much Spanish lessons, so how can this be seen as any kind of advocacy for practice?

My reverence for the Spanish language and willingness to be in child’s mind around language and letting life bring it to me on what many would call a snail’s pace is actually a surrender to not trying to ‘conquer’ the language. Anything conquered is by definition deadened, tamed, and stripped of its wild essence. I don’t want to speak Español muerte – dead Spanish. I want to speak Español viviendo – living Spanish! I’m actually working on relearning how to speak alive English. I want reverence and awe over a mental fluency where heart is diminished. My deeper practice is this reverence.

Let’s take this a step further. Perfect Spanish already exists. It’s a linguistic miracle born of indescribable creative life forces that is still being wave formed (tongue wagged) out into existence. I’m a part of that perfection life force that created Spanish for god’s sake! Not only am I a part of that, I AM that perfection. I cannot be separated from the creative life force of all living things….nada. So, then, I AM this perfected (and ever being perfected) Spanish out learning how to put 5 Spanish words together.

Both are true!

I AM all attainment that is out attaining. I AM all learning that is out learning. I AM all fire that is out seeking to consume and be consumed. I AM all Love that is out yearning for love.

That is practice. That is process. It is thee most stunningly alive way to live. Anything short of it isn’t actually living, as life itself is out learning. I practice what I am. I don’t practice to become. I do practice however to deepen my experience.

And it’s never over. The practice never ends. If Mozart stopped practicing, what would we know of him today? My sense is, is that if we could interview him today, he’d say he fell way short of ‘knowing’ music. The more one practices, the more one sees what there is more to know or learn.

So, how does this tie into SoulFullHeart? SoulFullHeart is a particular and ever expanding bandwidth frequency being generated, anchored and offered by a handful of people who are pretty much intoxicated with it. We’ve identified the practices and processes that are mentioned in this premise that are seen as key portals into this frequency that we are really keen on expanding. You can read more about them on our website at

If this resonates for you, I invite you deeply to hang around, and when and if you’re ready, to contact us about next steps. It is a way of life we are offering and not a therapy. So on one hand, some deep thought and feeling are in order, and on the other, you can also jump in and give it a try. There’s no signing your life away here, but simply engaging more and more as it self-verifies for you. Again, our sessions page is here:

Thank you so much to every single one of you who took in this 21 day premises tour to whatever degree that you did. I feel like you are a spaceholder for this arising simply by having digested these premises into your heart. Again, thank you!

You can find all of my 21 days here:…/soulfullheart-premises/

I’d love to hear about your digestions and unfolding interest and any questions too.

Heart hugs to you….

Raphael Awen is teacher, co-creator, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Premise 20: Accepting both light and dark inside of ourselves leads to balance

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to the 2nd last day of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today’s premise is both a stick of dynamite and a sleeping lamb, and we need both. It’s about the polarities that are present in reality, and even in what we call God, but so personally avoided and denied in spiritualities, faiths, politics (if that’s of any interest) and especially in our relationship to ourselves. Here’s the premise.

“The universe is made up of polarities. Balance is gained by accepting both light and dark-shadow in the Universe and inside of ourselves rather than suppressing the negative or rejecting it as not coming from the Divine.”

When we begin as I did in my life with a deep Christian worldview that God is only and all light, then we have to relegate all darkness to an enemy outside of God. It of course follows then to be ‘godly’ as we strove to be, we needed to ‘overcome’ the darkness inside of ourselves, as well as to embody only the light as much as possible.

This picture finds ground in our heart whether in Christianity or just in common sense because of the portion of truth that lives there. Human decency and even healthy self-interest lead us to kindness, care and respect over hatred, bitterness and anger. We have a deep inborn and innate desire to grow towards the Infinite Love that is the source and only root of all things. But all that doesn’t mean these ‘negatives’ don’t live in us, the universe, society, or the gods we fashion. Half a truth is still a lie.

When we come to accept that we all have a shadow and that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with our shadow, so much moves in our growth and personal healing path. While we deny or suppress the shadow, and strive only to get to know our light, we actually are only half human. Half humans are insane humans, who dine on half truths.

While in this half-human state of our personal suppressed shadow, we flail about being buffeted by others whose shadows we can’t see. Who we have and esteem as friends, mentors, and teachers, and to whom we even bestow the beloved name of ‘family’ alike are then also others who are polarized to this shadow suppression. We can’t see and feel the degree of toxicity that is alive and well and effecting us deeply, let alone effectively set our boundaries in regards to it. When we can’t own and take personal responsibility for our own shadow, we are left out from seeing and dealing with 1/2 of reality.

People and teachers drawn to the non-dual often have this suppression of the shadow as a motive ground for their draw. The polarities of light and dark are after all deep dualities. How I feel this reconciles is that duality is birthed out of non-duality. Non-dual oneness needed duality as a way to get to know its infinite nature. It birthed us as soul beings, and individuals, expressions of both duality and non-duality. If that’s not a pretzel, I don’t know what is, but it is our magical essence that we are here to grow, learn and heal. You already have it in essence and you have yet to enter it in experience.

Here, until we come to terms with this pretzel, one can feel as they get deeper into their existential healing a deep anger at God, or the universe for being subjected to such flights of fancy. Where does one file anger at God or the universe if they can’t recognize a shadow in themselves?

A whole human is a balanced human, knowing, feeling, and healing all that is in their light and their dark. Now, we no longer need to polarize to dualizing Christianity or non-dual Oneness teachings as a way to escape the shadow and polarity that is in the very fabric of the universe, and that resides in all of us. (not just Donald Trump)

The shadow by its very nature is difficult to see, for it is after all the shadow. How SoulFullHeart accesses the shadow is by getting to know parts of ourselves as subpersonalities that are invested in our dark, rather than our light. These are precious parts of us, that hold our very equilibrium of being intact. We cannot root them out with an exorcism in Jesus’ name, or an Ayahuasca trip to oneness. We feel them and get to know them in an act of profound self love and self intimacy. I don’t know of a better way to end our relationship with this half human expression that currently is both so popular, as well as collapsing in our collective consciousness.

If you’d like to work directly with myself, Jelelle Awen or Sequoia Heartmanas a way to begin your own SoulFullHeart process, please check out our sessions page here:

It is so exciting to feel people finding their own inner dynamite and their sleeping lamb both in their sacred autonomy.

Also, I welcome your comments, and even more so, your questions. This subject touches on so much that I didn’t attempt to explain, but left room for your quester to question, and hopefully for us to find a deeper way together.

Raphael Awen is a teacher, facilitator and co-creator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Premise 18: Communal Living In SoulFullHeart Community Offers Deepest Path To SoulFullHeartenment

By Raphael Awen


Well, today’s premise writing should prove engaging, for many it will be controversial, but for you, I hope it makes your heart dance. Welcome to day 18 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

The premise is called the ‘SoulFullHeart Community Premise’ and it goes this:

“SoulFullHeart communal living arrangements at a sustainable sanctuary offer the deepest path of SoulFullHeartenment.”

Our western and industrialized societies are so marked by a deep isolation and anonymity, and loneliness. There is little ground to be authentic or to practice authenticity in such a separated society. We feel we don’t matter and for good reason, in many ways, we don’t. Social media wars in comment boxes are a good evidence of this deep angst in our modern way of life. We’ll even take quarrelling as a means of connection. In our current technological society we have more means to connect than we’ve ever had, yet meaningful connection feels to be in the shortest supply it’s ever been in.

But on the other hand, most of us are not drawn, consciously at least, to something that we would call a ‘communal living arrangement’ either. So, what might this be about?

SoulFullHeart offers that since it was in our first experience of communal living arrangements, namely the family, or whatever semblance thereof, where our wounding occurred, it makes a ton of sense that parts of us would work hard to never again get in a situation so vulnerable and so painful. With these wounds left gaping and unhealed, any kind of personal relationship becomes too big of a challenge to find true intimacy in. We again settle for crumbs and call that enough.

But as we get to know, feel, and heal the parts of ourselves that were wounded deeply in our family of origin dynamics, we find that we can’t heal in isolation. Our wounds didn’t occur in isolation and our healing doesn’t either. We actually find that we need relationship as well as want deep relationship and meaningful connections as expressions of deepening self love.

SoulFullHeart goes further than just highlighting the need for meaningful connections to advocate for a communal living arrangement of sharing life together. Without a communal living arrangement, we are simply left too isolated and separated to find the healing ground we need for the deeper processes of the SoulFullHeart healing path. How that communal living arrangement looks and feels is an ongoing discovery as well an ongoing experiment that changes as more people are drawn.

Currently, we are four of us living in a single residence in Puerto Vallarta. The single residence part of it is more about what our budget can afford. Much more ideally, we see separate living spaces for people and couples with shared meals and projects in a communal space, and this will, of course, become necessary as we grow and more people are drawn to join us.

A distinct piece for us with the four us though has been living from a single pot of money. That is probably the biggest challenge as well as the greatest gift to our healing journey to work out all the rigours that this entails emotionally. For me personally, this is an amazing time as primary income for our living expenses have come from Leena Colibri‘s and Sequoia Heartman‘s on line work teaching English as well as Jelelle Awen‘s SoulFullHeart facilitation sessions. I’m having a time of letting in being supported by others to pursue what is my deeper calling as a SoulFullHeart teacher after letting go of a career and livelihood in Canada. Somehow, we feel that until a community can share money, some bedrock of community hasn’t quite formed.

There are others beyond the four of us that we are currently serving through sessions who if they choose to continue in the SoulFullHeart healing path, we see and hope for them to be naturally being drawn to community living. We feel the desire for community is something actually native to all humanity, even as we work our separation issues and necessary individuation healing growth as well.

Then, we see that a sustainable sanctuary is what we feel to keep our hearts set on. Two years ago, the four of us purchased a plot on an off grid ranch in Mexico where we lived for 18 months, busy with gardening and natural building until just 11 weeks ago. With Leena and Sequoia leaving a bit earlier than that as they drew English teaching jobs online. Our needs for money to live on and a call to serve SoulFullHeart’s unfolding drew us back to living for now in the city. But our vision remains clear for a sustainable sanctuary. We see our present industrial society as going through a slow collapse and are ready to make sudden changes as needed.

It’s so interesting to feel deep changes in the core of what we feel life is about, what a community is, how healing occurs, and all of that timed with the demise of industrial society. This should make for a awesome ride if we can open our hearts, dare to want what we want, and hold a space for it to arise.

That sacred space and that sacred something we want from it we call ‘SoulFullHeartenment’. It’s a term we made up obviously and so is the essence of it. It’s something different than awakening or enlightenment and something different than a therapy or healing modality, so we took the liberty to make up a new word for the thing we took the liberty of creating! Or maybe with a bit more humility, we could say that we felt the Divine wants to create through us.

But then, the Divine isn’t distinct from us in another way, so we’re back to something that looks like surrender, yet without abdication of desire and embodiment. We are all called I feel to live out our dreams and desires fully, not suppress them in the name of any misguided spirituality. For us, that’s about a communal living arrangement.

You can read more about what SoulFullHeartenment is about as I discussed it early on in another premise here:…/premise-2-mature-the-ego-a…/

This is a big deal, isn’t it? Many people we share about SoulFullHeart with of course ask us what is it with our ‘community living thing’ with some noticeable reservation. We understand where that’s coming from as we’ve wrestled with our own conflicts together as well as needs for individual space and autonomy.

If this rings bells and sets off an orchestra inside you, I’d like to, and we’d like to, get on with building just that together. The doorway in though isn’t socializing. It’s more about learning a new way of being truly social and we offer that through sessions in person or over Skype as we seek to integrate more and more towards this picture of community. Our sessions info is here…..

Thanks again for your interest and curiosity.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information. 

Premise 19: Chakras Offer A Direct Link To Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health

By Raphael Awen


‘God Morning’ to you and welcome to day 19 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour. You can read my other writing on the premises here.

Today we get all up into Chakras.

If you heard about them before or not, I trust the energy we share together around them today will be alive and magical, because the chakras are nothing short of pure magic.

Here’s the Chakra Premise:

“Chakras are energy centers and living organisms with a direct link to physical and emotional health, linked to the wider spiritual makeup of things.”

There are 7 main chakras located in all of our bodies ranging from our pelvic floor to the crown of our heads. These chakras (I prefer the ‘sh’ pronounciation, but some use the ‘ch’ sound as in ‘chalk’) are energy processing centres. The first people who ‘saw’ them, saw them as spinning wheels and thus the word chakra was used as it simply means ‘wheel’.

It’s important to begin with seeing yourself, your being, as outside of what we call the ‘body-mind’ five physical sense perception. If you are reading this, then that is exactly what you are doing. When you ‘see’ yourself, truly see yourself, you see yourself beyond the body or the mind. The statement that you are ‘more’ than your body or your mind is a bit misleading. It’s actually closer to you have a body and you have a mind, with the ‘you’ in this statement is a ‘you’ of pure energy.

The body and the mind are simply holographic projections of this source energy that ‘you’ are. You can shoot selfies 24/7 and still not get this. The self is pure energy and yes, that energy shows in a photo, but that face is only and ever a manifestation, not the deeper thing behind the thing. We are collectively getting so hungry for a deeper picture of ourselves and today, I’m going to offer you a deeper reflection.

I took in a 30 minute launch video the other day of the new IPhone 7. Here is a piece of truly astounding technology and human achievement that we are all collectively so stunned with that we are still trying to catch up with. The launch event wasn’t so much a sales presentation as it was an ‘awe’ event. The presenter was a middle aged, slightly overweight guy in a turtle neck because a sexy blonde here would have been a distraction of the energy.

Well, I want to tell you that what you have in the 7 chakras inside of you are a technology that is stunningly and astronomically beyond what we’ve come up with any scientifically discovered technology. You have in you these 7 energy processing centres that both receive and broadcast energy 24/7. They are the life force in your being, and, if and when they shut down, your body shuts down. In fact, every physical body issue you deal with has and is a direct expression of what’s going on chakrally for you. (or not going on). Inside of your chakras are found a coded energetic representation possibility (think hologram like the new bank cards have) of everything playing out in your life, past, present and future. These are your divinity out dancing connected to the universe and all the multiverses that we all are and are apart of. Universes of infinitesimal beauty and bounty.

This begins with a willingness to see and feel the chakras through the eyes of the imagination, no different than if you were to imagine a mental picture of a favourite food. If you can see an ice cream cone, and go on to see and feel everything about it, and not only see it, but start to have your mouth water over it….now your feeling it,…now you have entered the etheric domain of ice cream cones.

Feeling the chakras is identical to this. You see them and feel them through self permission and the imagination, not some spiritual ‘woo-woo’ attained ability. Here, you don’t need any science to prove something you can internally feel and verify. Out here beyond the denser seeking of proof, is where the magnitude and grandeur of the chakras reveal themselves.

The first chakra or Root Chakra holds all of your grounding to the earth, and all that physicality entails. Your daily physical needs are managed through this energy processing centre.

The second chakra or Sacral Chakra holds all of your creativity and Sexuality and is fittingly located in the genital area. Every human has deep creative forces and sexual energies living in them. The personal fulfillment they experience or don’t has to do with these perfectly functioning energy centres in the body. Even if the chakra is burdened down and functioning poorly compared to its potential, it is still channeling energy exactly as it was designed to, connected to the soul and personal will of the individual, as well as the universal will.

Next ‘up’ is the 3rd chakra or the Power Chakra located in the gut area. Here is the seat of personal will. Universal will is gargantuan, but it never exceeds personal will where the individual is concerned. Choice and desire are key. Any spirituality that wants to brand choice and desire as part of some unholy picture of the ego are a specific energetic wavelength frequency that is currently being processed in the Power Chakra of the individual holding that belief, and showing up in deadness in your spiritual life. Here we see belief itself as being so much more than mental concept and giving way to feeling. The imagination is what is alive and well here, even if subconsciously. Life is manifesting depression in exact concert with what is going on Chakrally, in this case, acute disempowerment.

Then comes the 4th, or Heart Chakra. Here is where all the very heart of the universe itself either expresses or doesn’t to one degree or another. When this Chakra is in its healthier expression, it isn’t difficult to both give and receive deep nourishing love. What’s going on relationally is in direct correlation to what’s happening chakrally. Want to draw a soulmate? Want to leave toxic relationships? You do that in your chakras first. You heal your way there. Your heart chakra stream needs and wants to flow to every part of your being, as well as to the other chakras, as they are all interconnected.

The 5th chakra is the Throat Chakra. Here is where your truth, where all that you currently are is encoded into sound vibration, some audible, some not, and flows out into the soularium in which we all swim, as well as into everyday life. I say “all that you ‘currently’ are” because your potential being is currently expressing as one ‘current’ (or a subset) of possible expressions. The throat chakra is literally holding the reins of how your life is ‘currently’ showing up.

You see now how when we get into these upper chakras of the heart and beyond, we are getting into layers of awareness that are beyond body-mind reality. It is in the development of these chakras and their attunement or activation that our personal frequency of being goes ‘higher.’ This is a completely new and ever-being-renewed relationship with life itself.

The next chakra especially opens this out, as the 6th chakra, located in the forehead, is the Third Eye Chakra. Here is the seat of our intuition, seeing with the third eye that can see all of this we are speaking to. All of the ‘Clairs’ here come out to play. Clairvoyance, Clairaudience, Clairsentience. You don’t need to be a ‘Psychic’ to be psychic. You only need to let your third eye open, and get attuned to feeling life through this dimensional unmistakable energy.

The 7th Chakra is your Crown Chakra located at the top of your head and holds all of your connection to the universe and the divine, or your divinity, your connection with higher beings and guides.

Wowzers! You’re such hot stuff! Just as you are right now! You have unlimited potential playing out inside of you because you are an expression of infinite possibility and infinite love. And it’s all up in your chakras. You are a universe of technology that makes an iPhone 7, as freaking cool as they are, look like two tin cans and a string!

This is a world of exploration that wants to unroll into your life, and I invite you to the SoulFullHeart window into chakras because it’s a unique window that encompasses everything we’ve been exploring in the other premises together. Jelelle Awen has a great place to start in this article about activating, protecting, and cleaning your chakras:…/chakra-activation-cleaning…/

You and I are linking chakrally in this moment feeling and digesting an energy that is moving us and changing us. That’s beyond any kind of California Cool! If you’d like to embrace some more of that and this energy of awakening, I’d like to serve that in you through sessions together. Our sessions page is here with all you need to know.

Only two more tour days together….bummer!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 

Premise 16: Physical injuries and illness stem from emotional, spiritual, and energetic root causes

By Raphael Awen

premise16Good Morning and welcome to Day 16 of the 21 day Magical Mystery Tour of the SoulFullHeart Premises.

The idea behind offering these clarities around our premises is that they form a set of boundaries to contain what we are about, let in those who are drawn and create a safe place of resonance. Together the 21 Premises form a current ‘near as we can tell’ picture, that while we don’t claim any absolute truth around them, we do feel passionately about each one. There’s something about that letting go of declaring absolute truth that allows us take responsibility for what we believe and teach. You can read my writing on the other premises here.

Today’s premise is simple, but it goes to more and more profound places in us as we live it out. It’s called the Body Premise and it goes like this.

“We have a body, we are not our body. Physical injuries and illness stem from emotional, spiritual, and energetic root causes.”

Identifying with ourselves as a body leaves us stuck in what we refer to as ‘body-mind’. Here in body-mind we cannot see or feel the deeper truth that we are a soul who is expressing through a body. This subconscious blindness is a necessary piece of a souls chosen growth path and when they are done with it, they open out into new vistas of learning and growth.

SoulFullHeart sees that everything that is going on in ones body is an expression of their soul as well as expressions of ones emotional health or lack thereof.

This is (like we got into in the money premise) a big change in our relationship to something. Here in this premise, I would say it this way. It’s not about the illnesses or injury in your body. It’s instead about your RELATIONSHIP to those illnesses and injuries that makes all the difference. Seeing yourself as the victim of external circumstances, accident or environment leaves you clearly the victim.

Victims can only be given sympathy cards.

Seeing yourself instead as a powerful soul who is journeying through a soul embodiment growth process means you have clear responsibility for what’s going on in your body. Even if you can’t track it just yet, or see just what the relationship is between your illness and your energetic and emotional body, you are willing to begin with the admission.

This changes everything.

There are no enemies to fight such as cancer, or colds or flus. Everything that occurs in our bodies are loving adaptations to the conditions and needs in our bodies, and needs in our soul growth. Feeling these deeper soul reasons behind our illnesses and injuries leads to profound shifts in our wellbeing as we embrace the powerful soul lessons being played out in our bodies.

There can be negative etheric entities associated with our illnesses as well affecting a stronghold in our bodies, but these beings only get their place through our unaddressed heart and soul wounding as well as our victim stance in relation to illness.

If we are ready to swallow these admittedly tough pills to swallow that totally change our direct role in what’s happening or not happening in our bodies, it opens out into a whole new world of self love and accelerated heart and soul growth.

In SoulFullHeart, we would immediately help a person suffering in illness or in fear of an illness to get to know the parts of themselves and their relationship to the illness. Here’s where the principle I mentioned earlier about ‘it’s the relationship to the thing’ goes really deep. That’s because ‘our’ relationship to anything is held in the fabric of our parts relationship to anything.

The key premise in SoulFullHeart work is about seeing yourself as a makeup of subpersonalities or parts, getting to know them, giving them the love and healing they need as they live inside you and that being the only healthy ground for real transmutation. Anything less is a self help program in our lives being conducted by a part of us struggling under the weight of our authentic self’s absence to show up for them. I covered that premise here…/premise-4-you-are-made-up-…/
as well as refer to it throughout most of the premises as it is what SoulFullHeart work and way of life primarily is about.

If you can begin to feel into this new magical relationship with parts of you and their relationship to what’s happening in your body and the depth of transmutation that can occur here, your feeling into SoulFullHeart territory.


We’d love to serve that, and we would do that through sessions over Skype or in person in the Puerto Vallarta, Mexico area. We offer our way of life picture here in our writing as a gift to help people shift their consciousness and when and if they want more, move into a one on one space holding as well as monthly group sessions.

Raphael Awen is teacher and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Premise 15: Our relationship to money can either be a source of suffering or freedom

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to day 15 – Money Day – of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Fasten your seat belts. I just woke up from a great night in the Golden Earth Inn. Golden Earth is what I feel is another dimension, perhaps fourth or fifth to this three dimensional level. Hey, if what we are is energy, why not go energetically where you really want to be, and feel what you really want to feel? There’s a great Golden Earth Cafe to wake up to in the morning, nestled right amongst the trees in a Sequoia grove. Also, the students from the Golden Earth School are a real chatty bunch and are actually the best teachers and they are into this premise dialogue today.

The premise is called ‘The Money Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Our relationship to money (which is ultimately an illusion) can either be a source of suffering or freedom.”

First up, money itself isn’t your and my problem. The challenge with money is in our relationship to money. There’s a big difference there and a ton of freedom for you right there if you’re open to it.

Money is an external. Your relationship to money is an internal. The same can of course be said about so many things in life, and a heap of freedom can be found by exploring this same principle in all these areas. It’s not the thing itself that makes something helpful or a hindrance in your life, but your relationship to the thing that makes all the difference. And, I might add, how parts of you (or subpersonalities) relate to money is where the exploration about money gets very interesting and illuminating. Read here more about parts:…

If we are here to learn and grow as souls in this ongoing discovery of Infinite Love in an infinite universe of infinite possibilities, then money is surely going to be one of our biggest classrooms. Most of us use and need money to buy the things we want and need. It’s as central to our lives as breakfast.

But, money isn’t real. Well, it’s real enough, okay, I’ll give you that. I’ll accept it if you give me some and all that. But essentially, on a deeper meta level, money isn’t real at all, as we think of it, and it’s important to feel this if we are going to shift our relationship to money. We humans made up money as simply a means of exchange. Then we all agreed to recognize it as such and voila, ‘We’re in the Money’ as the song goes.

But now we see why money holds us so spellbound, whether in its abundance or absence. Money is something we can’t live without, right? Well, yes and no. I’m physically not going to die tomorrow if I run out of money, but in all likelihood, I’m going to need to find some before too long to buy the things I need for life sustenance. If the love of money is the root of all evil, then I’m one evil guy because my mind is on money a lot. And so is yours, right?

But what is money then if it ultimately isn’t real? Well, we can say and pretty easily so, that money is energy. Everything in the universe is energy, even what we call matter and physical objects are all energy. And the ultimate source energy of the universe is love.

What money really is…… simply love.

Now, we can see why we are collectively so crazy about it. None of us can or want to live without love. And we also have all kinds of scarcity and abundance reactions around love to that get projecting onto our ideas about money. And now, we can begin to see why it’s all about our relationship to money that makes all the difference rather than money itself.

Two years ago, Jelelle Awen and I left behind and retired from our primary source of income in my painting contracting business and decided to move along with Leena Colibri and Sequoia Heartman, to Mexico. Our combined net worth nest egg and available credit gave us enough to live modestly for a bit more than a year. I have earned about the equivalent in the last two years what I earned in an average few days of painting. Needless to say, there’s been a ton to feel and process around our relationship to money! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As that year of living off of a dwindling nest egg went by with no awareness of how we going to get any more money, there was plenty of anxiety to feel. It wasn’t crippling anxiety because of the work we had done previous in our relationship with money, but there was still anxiety. What I learned as I was spending this painting nest egg money that I earned in Canada was that the energy in that money itself had a lot of ‘fossilized’ anxiety in it. I was coming into more and more trust, and the anxiety was actually associated with the energy in the money itself and where and when and how it was earned.

When we reached the end of that money, life opened out magically in the form of Leena and then Sequoia finding teaching English gigs on line, and we are beginning to receive money donations for SoulFullHeart sessions. I’ve never been more ‘broke’ in my life and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in relationship to money!

I have desires for more, even plenty more, but I feel so much trust that whatever the universe brings me, it’s what I need for my growth. Last month a man who was interested in SoulFullHeart wanted to meet us and took us out to dinner at what was pretty much the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. Sitting there in my falling apart sandals after living off of the monthly budget of what I used to spend at Starbucks in a month was an almost overwhelming experience. I did go to tears at one point letting it in.

Okay, these Golden Earth students are a chatty bunch alright and they wanted me to go off on our story for a while.

But what’s your story around money? Does it feel like a source of suffering or freedom in your life?

What ‘you do for dollars’ or pesos, wants to be transmuted more and more by a feeling all there is to feel around your relationship to money, which ties into your deepest existential need for love? All of this shifts into less suffering and more freedom from the tyranny of money as you feel and heal your relationship to money.

If you give your greatest gifts into the world and you die because you couldn’t live off of it, would there be any better way to go? Really, I feel that is what we are all being invited to live into, to change more and more into living in a gift economy.

If I, or Jelelle can help you with any more of your personal transition around money and your relationship to it, I’d love to do that through sessions on Skype and the SoulFullHeart way of life. They are crazy affordable, at least when it comes to the cost of money!

“All you need is love, love….love is all you need!”

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more.

Premise 13: Feeling our healthy human suffering is necessary

By Raphael Awen


Welcome to mega day 13 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

I know today is meant to be a big day of realization, and so I’m going out on a limb and calling it so. I’ll need your help though to make it happen as our energy co-creates more than we realize. We’re again going to enter conceptual ground today in search of heart ground, where a deep feeling doorway is opened out for us to feel together. Let’s see if the mind can surrender us to this doorway.

Thank you for pausing with me on the premises tour for the past few days as I was in what felt physically like a bit of a flu or a cold, but energetically and emotionally was a love bath awakening experience for me, that I can’t quite explain, it also feels important to not hide it either. I trust there’s some new energy here as a result for this and the remaining premises.

So today, we’re talking about suffering. Every spiritual path under the sun offers some explanation of the cause of suffering, from which and for which they offer a solution. SoulFullHeart is no different in this respect. My point though is about how far reaching this conceptualization of suffering and its cause is in any spiritual practice or healing modality. The suffering picture defines the healing picture. ‘Problem, reaction, solution’ is the lens we see so much through as everyone from sales training personnel and conspiracy theorists point out. This has to do with how we are wired. We want to find problems and fix them in our dualistic reality.

I’d really like to get to the root of our suffering and find a way to fix it, wouldn’t you? Pardon me for the ‘fix it’ language. In one way, you need no fixing, and perfection is found in imperfection. In another way, I very much want and need growth and change. Both are true.

Let’s have a look then at SoulFullHeart’s ‘Cause Of Suffering Premise’:

“What we refer to as suffering is actually about an unhealthy suffering over healthy human suffering. To be human is to keenly feel and in this way, to suffer. Unwillingness to have a personal relationship with this inherent vulnerability of being human manifests in the fear of love; lack of individuation; the illusion of the separate self from Self, Others, and God; and by not seeing the bigger soul reason behind healthy human suffering.”

In other words, you don’t suffer, rather you suffer over your suffering. Big difference.

Let me try and explain. (I feel something I want to get at today and feel together with you and I’m still feeling it and finding the words as I/we go. I feel like we are all learning together, even if I assume the role of teacher and you of student in this moment.)

To be human is to feel. Most of cultured human life, not in our essential expression, but rather in our fear-based strategized approach to living life is about not feeling. Pretty much any and every aspect of life can be and is related to medicatively as a ‘feel good’ drug used to not feel deeper realities of human vulnerability. Healthy, normal, good things in life are used every day as drugs to not feel, and in this way, constructive things are actually destructive in our lives.

You, as an embodied human, have deep needs. To fully live your human life requires beginning with feeling your needs. If you are willing to feel your needs and your vulnerability to those needs, then you are in other words dependent on something larger than you for your fulfillment, at least as how you define YOU most of the time.

I don’t grow my own food, build my own shelter. The money that I use to buy things I want and need is energy that comes to me by exchanging my energy with others energy. In this way, I am far from complete in myself. The love I experience with Jelelle is a projection of my self love, yes, but it just isn’t the same without her as a projection screen. To be human is to be in want and need. To be in want and need is to be in suffering. This is healthy human suffering. Hence, most people’s entire relationship to life, at a deep fundamental level, is about not feeling human vulnerability, or about limiting these feelings as much as possible.

It hurts to suffer. It hurts way more, however, to suffer over our refusal to feel our vulnerable human suffering. In this way, we are suffering over our suffering. I’m offering to you that what we call human suffering and all of its manifestations isn’t true suffering at all, but really about our refusal to feel our truest humanity, which is vulnerability. You are human. You get to hurt. You get to suffer.

When we refuse to feel our vulnerability, life brings to us jacked up expressions of suffering in the form of painful life circumstance asking us to get in touch with our humanity, i.e. feel our needs. Our refusal or inability to feel our human vulnerability leads to suffering over this vulnerability and that is the shit that really fucking hurts like hell, way more than the grounded suffering of being human.

Life and love are all conspiring to bring us back to the love we are and are expressions of.

If all of this is so, why would we wire it up this way, to suffer needlessly? Aren’t all of us looking for an easier way? Wouldn’t pragmatic selection help us find this easier way? How could we have missed this?

But, I say, we aren’t missing this, are we? We are looking at it right now. Holy shit! Could we be looking at something brand new? Others may well have said it before, but it’s still new to you and me and we for sure missed the memo if we are still stuck in suffering over our suffering! Right?

And it’s precisely this propensity to suffer over our suffering that we collectively aren’t getting yet, except in very small doses, which led us to create a garden with a pretty, but effective fence around it called SoulFullHeart.

When you elect to stop suffering over your suffering, people get mad and you will need a fenced garden to hold the energies you want and keep out the energies you don’t. You’re going to need to create a garden of your own, or come on and join us in creating one.

Let’s let this sink in for now and come to the rest of this premise next day.

Thank you for being a fellow ‘wonderer’ in this tour and you can take in my writing on the other premises on this blog. You can also find them by scrolling down on my personal fb timeline.

If I can directly help you in changing your relationship to your suffering, here is my/our sessions page at

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 

Premise 12: Collapse of Our Industrialized Way of Life Is Part Of A Death-Rebirth Phase

By Raphael Awen


Good morning and welcome to day 12 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Today’s premise is one that is challenging to relate to. It is about the deep changes underway to our industrialized way of life. How we get food, water and energy is undergoing massive change.

Here’s the premise called the Deconstruction Premise:

“Our current industrialized way of life that provides food, water, and energy is collapsing, leading to massive change that is part of a bigger picture phase of deconstruction, death, and rebirth.”

Talk about a shift in premises!

Everything our current collective way of life is premised upon is based on cheap fossil fuel energy. Food from a store, water from a tap and gasoline from a gas station are all most of us have ever known. And it can’t continue the way it has. We’re literally running out of gas.

So severe is what we are facing that the shifts and changes in our environment point to the possibility even of near term human extinction.

SoulFullHeart has no interest in making a case for what we are going through, but rather seeks a way to hold what we are going through. Many of us on the planet are feeling these deep changes and many are offering all manner of responses, in order to prepare for the chaos to come, and really, the chaos is already here.

We recently made a big life change in leaving Canada, leaving careers, and moved to Mexico to live off grid. We did that for 18 months and just recently came back to living in the city of Puerto Vallarta. The changes we made had a lot to do with responding and preparing for the changes we saw coming.

Talk about a changing premise though. Like I said at the outset of this journey, a premise is not something written in stone for time and eternity. Far from it. A premise is simply a statement of what we currently see as foundational to how we are responding to life. We always need to be willing to let go of a premise or have it overhauled just as much as we are saying that the premises of any community need to be transparent.

We wrote an entire book on this premise called Living As If less than 2 years ago, and have since made the book unavailable because we shifted so much from where we were when we wrote the book.

Now, we still see the massive changes underway. We still see the need for preparation to be way more about inner preparation of the heart, like we wrote about in our book. But something deeper is shifting for us. And it’s a bit difficult to describe, but let me try.

When we feel a mental, in-our-heads approach to life, we will never be able to find trust and rest. No amount of external preparation for any coming storm will ever be enough. Even preparation of the heart is called into question, as much as we advocate for that. The bigger piece is the frame around how we relate to life itself.

Many and most may be simply not meant to weather this storm. Many are meant to lose their physical lives. Loss of life as we see it through our 3 dimensional mind-body perception of life is not how life itself sees life. Life is energy and there can be no loss of energy. Energy is ever and only changed, but never lost. There is no such thing as loss of life, in this sense that lives beyond 3D perception.

There is no avoidance of change. We all will go through great change. We are in fact in it right now. In another way, we have always been going through great change. It’s just that a time of much more sudden change is upon us.

Accepting this, coming to terms with it, is about adopting a reverence for what we have right now, and being fully present to the moment. Being ‘present to the moment’ loses the air of being a bull-shit new age quote card for Facebook, when a doctor tells you that you have less than a year to live. We are on notice that life as we know it isn’t going to remain. We’re welcome to get another opinion, ignore the opinion we got, or just increase the dose on our meds and hope for the best, but in all of these options, we can’t escape choice.

We’re living collectively in a hospice moment. Hospice is where people live who are expecting to die. Where did we ever, even in good times lose sight of death? Now, nature itself is gifting us with the awareness of our own demise that is way more immediate than our own death of old age.

Even near term human extinction feels like a real possibility.

When we feel this, it changes everything. It gifts us with a deep exploration of what really matters to us, what we want, what we are playing with that we need to get serious about.

Life is asking us to ‘quit fucking around with your heart and soul’ to those of us that feel this urgency. Many are not feeling any kind of such urgency and I feel, they are not meant to this life. They are on their perfect and chosen path, and trying to get them to resonate with me and my choices is a waste of energy and precious time (even the illusion of time is a precious commodity to us that consciously want to heal and grow).

What is actually collapsing is something deeper than our industrialized fossil fuel-based way of life, though that is a part of it. What is really collapsing is a way of seeing life itself as a three dimensional reality through the body-mind perception.

We are in the midst of a great and inescapable death and rebirth. None of us can escape no matter how great our preparations. We are being invited to see ourselves now as heart and soul beings who are energy, which energy manifests in human form, which form is undergoing collapse and rebirth.

See if you can feel that for a moment, because the mind doesn’t do well with this. Feel it, and then feel your intuition guiding you to your individual choices that are unique and sovereign to you. There isn’t any cookie cutter advice here when it comes to what to do. Doing is what is collapsing. Being is what is arising.

I’m going to pause on saying more around this premise, because it feels like less is more here somehow. I invite dialogue as always and I invite your direct contact if you’d like me or Jelelle Awen to hold space for your personal process around any of this.

Our sessions page is here if you want to read more about how we work with people:

I’m honoured to be present and living in hospice with you. I want to live and live fully, now.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information.

Premise Eleven: Healthiness And Balance Are Expressed Through Seven Key Areas Of Life

By Raphael Awen

wholepersonWelcome! It’s day 11 of the 21 day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour. As always, you can catch up on all my writings on our premises or on my FB timeline.

Today, we come to look at a true panorama, in the ‘7 Areas Of Life Premise’ and at first it might look like a mental assessment, but as we behold the view, I think you will be surprised by magic and mystery….the magic and mystery of YOU.

I’m very glad to have your presence on this tour and I feel it as so much more than us as simply a writer and a reader. We are co-creating something new in our exchange of energy together……where you, me, and the world we live in is forever changed.

This is a profound truth that it only takes one to change the world because in essence, we are only One. On a certain level, there is only one of us, and you are that one. I am that one. You and I get to play with individuality inside of our utter and complete oneness. You and I get to play with healing as well as wounding inside of our utter and complete wholeness. The outcome is so secure and only love, that we are now free to feel every insecurity and hatred that lives in us or our world around us. Our guarantee of outcome allows us to have process is how I like to feel it.

Today’s premise can help us with this. It goes like this:

“SoulFullHeart offers that the natural state of what we call the sacred human self or who we were meant to be in our authentic expression is one where all of seven key areas in our life are expressed in a balanced and healthy way through feeling your parts or subpersonalities and how they relate to these 7 key areas: emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, social, financial, and environmental.”

We identified these seven key areas as a looking glass to look at our lives from a wholistic perspective. This arose from feeling how so many therapeutic and spiritual practices and healing modalities seeming to excel in some areas while leaving others unaddressed. We are identifying them as separate areas for the purpose of evaluation, but in reality, there is not any compartments that these areas actually exist in.

Compartmentalizations are just that; mentalizations of compartments that aren’t actually real. A person with cancer in their liver can’t claim that they ‘are doing just great, it’s just my liver that has a problem.’ So, we see that when one of these areas is hurting, ALL areas are hurting, because we as a sacred human are an expression of them all simultaneously.

Let’s take a look at each of them for a moment.

Emotional: What lives in your feeling body? How does it feel emotionally to be you? Is flowing self-love truly your waking reality or only a distant dream? Are there struggles with undigested hurt, anxiety, depression, shame, control, rage that trigger you in relationships with others and with yourself?

Spiritual: Do you feel loved by a source beyond you? Do you feel a part of that source? Can you access a spiritual domain that feels real to you? What about spiritual guides who long to supportively and lovingly show you the way?

Mental: Do you feel you have a mind that serves you, rather than being limited by the mental five sense reality picture. Can your mind serve you and the world around you with the creative heart and soul gifts that you have to give?

Physical: Has your spiritual focus left the body behind? Are you in love with how you look and feel physically without being into an unhealthy narcissism? Without physical vitality, can you be truly vital?

Social: Can you truly and freely be and bring your truest self to interface in your social world? How much of what you truly are is edited out of your social interface by a part of you in an effort to keep some love-crumbs in your life? How do you define ‘relationality’?

Financial: Are you able to draw what you need and want in life? Has your pursuit of money become a tyranny in your life that affects the health of all the other areas? Does scarcity or abundance reign in your life?

Environmental: Do you live in the illusion that there is any separation between you and nature? Can you feel that you are literally a part of all that is in nature. Can you feel the great struggles in nature that we are a part of as we wrestle with industrial society’s effect that now even threatens all human life on our planet?

Asking ourselves these tough questions in all of these areas allows us to see what a part of us doing life AS us, has literally put off our radar. SoulFullHeart holds that any health in one area at the expense of another area isn’t true health. Efforts and focus in one area at the expense of the other areas is a strategic compensation for unfelt pain as well as to keep the pain in the subconscious.

None of this is bad, but the loving efforts of a part of us to make life safe, when it felt anything but safe.

Through questions like these, we start with bringing pain to the surface as we are able and willing, at a pace and rate we can bear, to be with and feel that pain. Feeling our pain is what moves and heals pain.

Pain is a loving signal in a loving universe asking for our attention. Any routine to not feel pain only ensures that pain will get stronger and louder in our lives. Even perceived disasters like cancer in our body are nothing more than loving signals asking for our attention in a totally loving universe. There is nothing to conquer or beat. There are no enemies. There are only things to feel. Things like financial disaster, social collapse, our environmental collapse, a spiritual dead end, deep rooted painful emotions and reactions, are all and only things that are asking us to feel. Nothing more.

Feeling changes everything.

As you enter conscious and loving relationship with your parts and their needs, you find the door into each of these seven areas that is beyond just one more self-help project to prop up some lacking area in your life. While all of us have a leaning to improve our lives and embrace healthy change, SoulFullHeart points us to the deeper underground of what underlies the lack or habit we want to address. In this way, we don’t ‘construct’ our way to health, by adding more discipline, routine and regimen in our lives, but instead ‘deconstruct’ our way there.

We uncover the things that are covering our spring-loaded and already-present wholeness to emerge. It does take work and choice and focus, but these efforts are held in an authentic self loving deconstructive discovery picture rather than powering through another personal power routine held by a controlling part of us seeking to attain or make life safe through attainment.

A part of us can then go on to have healthy attainments to feel their new arising authentic power, but this is very different motive ground from paving over pain.

I, or part of me more accurately, was quite shocked to find that amidst my self perceived functional lifestyle and habits and disciplines, were entire subpersonalities within me that were completely in fear, shutdown and even nonverbal and preverbal contraction. I was given a way and support to meet them, feel them and watch them totally transmute. I can’t describe the magic of the unfolding and the ongoing-to-this day unfolding changes that came about as yet another part of me holding personal pain is simply felt by love.

If you’d like to talk more about any of this, I can join you probably in short notice today on Skype, or messenger. Let’s roll and see where life wants to take us. You’ve got my number, and my heart is open to you, and desiring to serve. If you’re a woman, please connect with my beloved Jelelle Awenthrough her FB and both of us via I celebrate your choice to reach out.

Why wait another minute? The point of this tour is YOU, not the tour!

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information. 

Premise Ten: Radical Self Love Comes From Embracing All Aspects Of Ourselves

By Raphael Awen


This is day 10 of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’

Today we approach the truly mysterious and magical, but I’m not sure I can do anything more than point you to it. It will be up to you and your soul….what you feel, what you sense if you feel drawn to open this one out for yourself and your selves.

Today is all about you. It’s the ‘Self to Self-Personhood Premise.’ And it goes like this:

“The SoulFullHeart process offers a growing sense of true, authentic, even radical self love, a self to self relationship that comes from embracing all aspects of ourselves from which our spiritual awakenings and explorations can arise from. This growth of the ‘personhood’ ground of our being is a critical piece that we feel has been missing from many sainthood and sagehood paths.”

There’s a new ‘hood’ in the hood and it’s called Personhood.

We’ve known the Sagehood (nondual) awakening paths (primarily in the East) of the awakening and enlightenment of the mental body. We’ve also known many Sainthood paths to awaken the spiritual body. But the missing hood is Personhood, the awakening of the emotional body and the heart chakra.

This hood changes everything. It’s absence has made for all manner of abuse, while its presence opens the door to finally holding our heart and soul growth explorations in a manner that truly serves us without needing to subscribe to more and more denial and devotee zeal to hold our ‘deal’ together.

Through getting to know parts of ourselves or subpersonalities and feeling what they are feeling while they are feeling it (i.e. in real time), we create a space for our parts to feel ‘felt.’ In the absence of our parts feeling felt, we, as a perceived single personality, are left holding all manner of unaddressed charges, complexes, reactions, and undigested traumas. Our life as we know it is actually one big ‘acting out’ to the degree our subpersonalities, as living beings and energies within us, are left unacknowledged, denied, and disowned.

This picture radically alters your life as you open more and more to getting to know, feel, and respond to the needs of your parts and it is truly magical. I discovered this work in a group I was previously a part of and my entire relationship to life shifted in a dramatic way and ongoing way.

With our parts left unaddressed, every spiritual practice and healing modality that we engage in is a compensation to significant degree to cover for the deep unmet needs in our personhood domain.

We are spiritual beings, yes, but we express and relate to spirituality through our current expression as a person…..a human being. Human beings FEEL. Human beings have different needs than spiritual beings. Denying your humanity will only serve to suppress what you actually chose as a spiritual being choosing to inhabit a human journey.

Many spiritualities, when you feel into them from this lens, are designed to get beyond your humanity out to where the good stuff is. Being human is seen as the problem. The prescriptions of what you need to do and apply are endless, all in the goal of attaining or becoming something more than human.

SoulFullHeart feels opposite to this in that the portal into all your innate and magical spiritual access is already inside you, but buried. It’s not buried underneath your humanity, but buried under your unaddressed humanity. Coming to this ground of discovering your subpersonalities is really the only healthy ground to explore any spirituality as a human being. Angels may do it differently, and you even may be an angel, but you are in a human experience and expression at the moment.

Thank god for personhood arriving in the hood. Again, I’d love to help you get started in this exploration path. It’s self validating and opens out as you go. I invite your contact. Let’s get started.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit for more information.