By Jelelle Awen
Deep clearings recently of the persecution wound that lives in us all as we’ve had so many lifetimes of holding frequencies of healing, light, and love for the collective. Seeding light in the darkness. Holding the higher codes of union remembrance from higher timelines on the Earth Plane…millions of years in Lemurian golden age, the golden age of Atlantis before the fall….and golden ages on other planets and in other galaxies.
The persecution wound seems to come up in personal (esp. birth family) and in service relationships most strongly. The feelings/reactions/triggers that can come up in parts of us around being misunderstood, not seen, hurt or abused, rejection, ‘kicked’ energectically, feeling shame and unworthiness pushed up. That strong instinctual urge and trauma response in ‘being attacked’ to defend ourselves, to fight, or to flight.
And sometimes we need to go many ‘rounds’ into this dynamic with a soul who has signed up to hold this persecution mirror for us (often reinforced by the ‘narcissist program’ as I call it). We need to go into repeated attempts to clear the karma there, to transcend beyond the ‘roles’ of persecutor and victim into the open field of love where no wrong can truly be done from one to another.
I’m feeling personally a soul turn completion of a sacrificial pattern with souls who have played the persecutor role for me (sometimes very literally in certain lifetimes). My soul tendency is not toward fighting or defending myself yet rather toward large hearted forgiveness and desire to arise into the new grounds.
This can be a good thing for an ambassador/healer/teacher….yet, my soul aspects and parts this life and others have given too much in the sense of over holding, care taking, extending myself…a sense of making up for the light and love of the Divine that I can connect to if others are struggling to feel that themselves.
It has almost been a ‘survivor’s guilt/unworthiness’ piece where my Divine access is given away without enough personal needs criteria, esp in lifetimes where personal needs weren’t even considered or connected to (such as being a nun or priestess). Being a bridge to the Divine is an aspect of this, of course, and yet being that without a personal cost to me and being in humble worthiness/advocating for self is a piece I am healing this life.
I am now tuned into that I can forgive in the higher levels as I feel Divine Mother’s heart of compassion flow through…and yet can’t transactionally allow into my life those who cannot take accountability for the harm they have caused (sometimes going into amnesia about it even happening), who continue to project dark agendas without looking at their side/go into curiosity around where these are sourced from, who don’t feel genuine remorse over harms caused, who gaslight or invalidate feeling impacts of my parts or their own, and who aren’t continually surrendering into Divine guidance and trust as best they can and have access to.
I am bringing my truth in directness with care and offering mirrors/challenges as needed in response, yet I am also complete with holding space for this often toxic dynamic in myself or soul field, in service work, in personal relationships/community, or for the collective. It has been a blessed gift to me to have these experiences and I’ve learned a lot, even when difficult and painful.
I also felt a deep love ambassador process recently by bridging in meditation to a Grand Inquisitor energy in the karmic field….a Gatekeeper/Punisher who is reinforced and supported by the Matrix energies. This Inquisitor immediately expressed remorse and asked for forgiveness and as he received it, he started to transmute from all bloody, dark and heavy….. to wearing golden robes of light with all blood washed away. Waves of forgiveness from Divine Mother flowed over us both and he started transforming into masculine discernment and truth telling without need to persecute or expose anyone. And I felt a release of wounded feminine feelings of being hurt or harmed by this energy.
With this movement, I could feel how this Inquisitor had been ‘showing up’ over the years in different ways to get my attention (originally in the form of my parents), so that I could reconcile my relationship to this shadow, which is also within my own soul field too. None of us has truly only been a victim or only a persecutor nor parts of us either.
It feels like there is a big turn happening for the awakening and ascending masculine in this way…both in men and in the inner masculine in women. The old patriarchal grounds of being the exposer, the inquisitor, the edgy truth telling, the tyrant, the abuser..they are falling away as Divine Father offers a template of truth telling to men and women that is direct yet with care. Provokes what is needed and yet doesn’t do damage. Leads with transparency and authenticity while being sensitive to impact on all.
The truth of our being AS love reveals itself as the polarities heal. As the fear moves into love. And sometimes as we no longer allow the repeated cycles that don’t serve us or others to continue (if they aren’t meant to).
ALL of the experiences in relationships are sacred, both the bliss and the mess. Felt as portals of self discovery, they open out into growth and deeper feeling experience of BEING love in humbly worthy sacred human form.
Love,
Meditation to connect to the punisher-shame dynamic within you (inner persecution) here: https://youtu.be/kBG0OFQAdYc?si=uuIIJRwL_8rpZpXC
~
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 