A Gathering Of Clarity As The Equinox Approaches

Today we are all getting ready for our Autumn Equinox Gathering here in Victoria, BC with 4 of our facilitants coming to join us in an intimate communal experience. Lots of excitement brewing as well as nerves for those on their way. One of our incoming souls crafted the word ‘nervocited’ to express the feeling. It has officially been adopted in our SFH lexicon. 😊

I took out our dogs this morning to be great with a most amazing and sensual sunset. It had ‘clarity’ written all over it. For me that felt significant as I am coming out of a very thick process with my Gatekeeper. I can feel him ‘cautiously optimistic’ about our deepening connection and future. 

One thing thing I do feel clear in me is that I want to keep up with this inner arising sense of self-love and desire to keep my heart open to my shadow and its core issues. There is a humility that has come over a part of me and it is helping to be as present to each moment as possible until it is clear that I am not. Then I go back in again and take Love with me wherever it needs to go. 

The clarity is that I am here to Love, be loved, and to serve that Love to whomever or whatever the Divine sees fit for me to serve and Love. Right now that is both an inner and outer service to self and other. 

I am blessed. 

I am grateful. 

I am loved. 

I am becoming. 

I am here, now. 

******

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

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Energy Update: 9/9/9 Portal Opens Up Access To Lower 4D Matrix/Karmic Healing/Metasoul Timelines

By Jelelle Awen

Energy UPdate: We are in the midst of the 9/9/9 portal that opened it feels like on 9/8 and  continues now for the next nine days until 9/18. Being in the ‘midst’ can feel like a swirl and a twirl….a sense that you are in the middle of a process that you may only be somewhat aware of on a conscious level. The nine energy often feels like a completion that is happening at the same time as the New energies are coming in.

It feels to me like much more upgrading, activating, and rewiring is going on beyond our minds, beyond our consciousness, beyond our this-life human body structure than we can possible understand right now. This can actually bring a lot of comfort as you lean into your own soul (or Metasoul as I call it, your individuated soul consciousness or also called Monad.) Your Metasoul/Monad has immense intelligence and access….it as close to Divine source as can be and still be individuated.

Your Metasoul holds and contains the experiences of ALL the expressions of its fractals projected out into numerous lifetimes and timelines. All of these projections are happening in a simultaneous moment in the Now and ongoingly. This is not ‘past life’ at all or ‘ancient’ or ‘from another era’.

This 9/9/9 portal is offering a feeling sense of the multidimensional frequencies of our Metasoul beyond the linear structure that the 3D mind has placed it in. These simultaneous and parallel timelines are hugely influential to our current life experiences. They are often the source and root cause of the emotional reactions, triggers and even the situations themselves being drawn to you.

The recapitulation of soul themes and therefore the healing of them is the underlying REASON for WHY your soul has set up what it has for you to experience this life. Every choice seems to pivot on this existential context of the Metasoul’s healing, which ultimately connects to collective unconsciousness healing as well. Healing of the duality/polarity experiment back to Oneness.

Conscious healing of these timelines and lifetimes is a crucial phase in our ongoing Ascension process. We now have the opportunity to heal karmic patterns that our Metasouls have been playing out for infinity. We truly can complete the need to incarnate into 3D and lower 4D timelines at all anymore if we don’t want to or need to. We can truly end the suffering of repeated traumatic and traumatizing situations in all their different forms and expressions.

Understanding how the Lower 4D Matrix holds and contains these karmic patterns, archetypal energies, and the collective unconsciousness can be an important step in the process. Unplugging from the Lower 4D Matrix is to become aware of your soul themes and patterns and HOW they express and play out in your current lifetime.

This happens as you create a loving and understanding relationship with your Metasoul aspects/fractals from other lifetimes. Not just as a ‘past life’ of yours that you drop into the trauma of in a one-time regression, yet as living, breathing, and very often important energies and personalities that you need just as they need you. The gift exchange between these soul aspects of yours can be huge as they are often anchored into and expressing many soul gifts even as they are experiencing patterns of persecution, suppression, etc.

The key to accessing the Lower 4D Matrix and lifting the veil to get access to your own Metasoul happens as you connect with your Gatekeeper. This is an aspect that we have worked with for many years in our SoulFullHeart process, who seems to be the aspect of the Metasoul that is in charge of the veil of amnesia. Getting to know your Gatekeeper opens up access to these other lifetimes in a way that is self loving at a negotiated rate and pace that you and your Metas can both benefit from. The Gatekeeper opens the doors, lifts the veils, and allows free flow remembrance of ALL lifetimes.

These powerful portals like 9/9 offer huge opportunities for this kind of karmic healing. We scheduled a group transmission over zoom to activate 4D Matrix/Karmic Healing for you on Saturday, September 14th. We didn’t consciously realize it was during this portal (obviously our Higher Selves knew!) You can join Raphael and I live for two hours starting at 10:00am PDT (Vancouver, Canada time) or receive the recording afterwards for $15 CAD ($11 USD). There is more info here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/6-4d-matrix-karmic-healing-group-transmission-jelelle-and-raphael-awen

Now is the time for transmutational healing that goes beyond just your current life and impacts your entire soul’s trajectory and ‘history’ as well. Now is the time for healing that hasn’t been possible before! Now is the time to bring love to all the aspects of your self and soul that need it in order to more deeply embody your sacred humanity!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

Here is a guided meditation to connect to your Metasoul and your akashic records (a portal to lifting the veil):

https://youtu.be/QOlBc-3-TEg

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Energy Update: Geostorms Heighten Emotional/Spiritual/Physical States

By Jelelle Awen

For the third day in a row (September 2), Gaia has been inside a stream of high speed solar wind coming from a ‘hole to make us whole’ on the sun’s surface. Episodes of G2-class storming have brought in Auroras/Northern Lights in the U.S. as far south as Wisconsin, Michigan, and Montana. The wind speeds have been hovering around 700 km/sec during these last three days as well, with the ‘average’ being in the 300 km/sec range, according to spaceweather.com.

These kinds of speeds are difficult for us to even comprehend and, sometimes, the connection to these ‘far off’ cosmic events can feel distant from our everyday lives. I have been guided to offer a bridge to these celestial occurrences to what you might be experiencing on emotional/physical/mental/spiritual levels. This bridge allows us to feel how our inner cosmos is inherently connected to the outer cosmos….the Universe lives inside of our every cell…..As above, so below.

August was a HIGHLY catalytic month of energies with Lion’s Gate providing a ‘direct line’ to higher frequencies of soul clarity, higher dimensional aspect embodiment/connection, activation of Ascension chakras and our light bodies. There was a sense of revelation and unveiling of your higher timeline life and self. There were tastes of this ‘reality’ coming through in new synchs, connections inner and outer, and opportunities. Along with this, there were realizations of where you are now, what worlds you are navigating between, and what your transition may look and feel like into your higher timeline.

Moving now into September and with these SOULar winds, there is a feeling sense of taking action and making choices based on that higher timeline. Making the outer choices unfolds from the inner realities shifting. Making the CHOICE to change unfolds organically as you feel inside a dethawing from 3D birth family conditioning, unplugging from the 3D/Lower 4D Matrix, healing from karmic bind cycles that keep you looping in suffering and understanding/exploring bleed-throughs from other timelines.

Feeling through these things can be quite challenging at times. Feelings of not wanting to be here anymore, giving up, hopelessnesses, distrust/mistrust, isolation/loneliness, just FEAR can come up as parts of you let go of the previous configurations. Working with and connecting to these parts of you directly and consciously allows space to be held WITH them in this process. If you just ‘become’ their feelings of despair and loneliness, it can quite overwhelming. There is no one ‘home’ then to keep these parts of you company as they let go of the only safety lines they’ve ever known (no matter how toxic these ‘safety lines’ are, especially in the form of relationships.)

Everything is being heightened with these energies coming in now in 2019…preparing us to move into a higher frequency experience of ourselves and all of life in 2020. Feelings that have been more in shadow, subconscious, or deemed not ‘socially acceptable’ such as rage, shame, resentment are coming UP now to be felt, embraced, and to ultimately allow for understanding the reasons WHY they are there. All feelings and emotional states exist for a reason inside of us. They are the result of wounding from traumas experienced this life and other lifetimes.

As feeling and emotional states are being heightened, also are karmic frequencies and traumas from other timelines/lifetimes (especially those in more 4D frequencies.) Timelines such as Atlantis and Lemuria during the Fall; ‘Ancient Egypt’; Avalon/Camelot; the Essences, etc. are all coming through to be felt and healed by us. Connecting directly with the Metasoul aspect/fragment that is experiencing these timelines and their pain helps to move it, heal it. Differentiating what you are experiencing that is actually coming from another timeline can be really helpful.

Our physical bodies are feeling the impact too, as what is denser in our cellular memory, in our ‘diets/ways of life’ are wanting to be detoxed out through self loving practices. This may be causing more physical discomfort for you, flare up/heightening of chronic conditions in your body. Our bodies are wanting to unanchor too from the denser conditionings of 3D, from digesting toxic energies in our foods. Their higher timeline expression is as a vital, healthy, moving into immortality light bodies, serving as our vibrant merkabahs, providing multidimensional travel.

My 33 Day series called Deepen offers teachings and guided meditations to meet parts of your 3D self, work with your Ascension chakras and light body, and also your Gatekeeper, who opens up access to your Metasoul and timelines/lifetimes that need your love and integration. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

These recent SOULar winds invite ongoing digestion, detox, and eventually action. They remind you of the power of your own capacity to gust and to storm….even as your stillness center is watered too by loving energies available from the Divine Mother. You can express full range of your BEing as you love, acknowledge, and integrate ALL aspects of yourself in this Now and ongoingly.

Join Raphael and I next Saturday, September 14th for our monthly group transmission over zoom, starting at 10:00am PDT. We will teach about and guide you in a meditative space in which you can connect to your Gatekeeper aspect, visit the Lower 4D Matrix, begin the process of unplugging from it, and learn how to open up portals to other lifetimes/timelines that need karmic healing. More info to join us for a $15 CAD donation here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/6-4d-matrix-karmic-healing-group-transmission-jelelle-and-raphael-awen

Much love,

Jelelle

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Photo taken by Mike White on September 1, 2019 @ Port Hills, Christchurch, New Zealand

Balancing Light Activations With Love For Ongoing Digestion And Integration

By Jelelle Awen

You may be seeking MORE light, more activations, more awakening and altering experiences from and with others. For moments, these activations feel GOOD. These activations remind you of your soul essence AS light. 

These experiences jolt and bolt. They vibrate and activate. Their energy is of the churning and burning kind. 

There can be a kind of ‘mode’ in this activation seeking. The mode looks like finding the next thing to join and belong to. The next thing to ‘take’ that will heighten and lift. The next thing that will spark the fire that will light up existence to feel more worthwhile. It is like the thrill seeker wanting ever greater heights to fling themselves off of. 

The afterglow of these profound activations can be temporary. They last as long as the retreat/seminary/workshop/session lasts. They are somehow ‘outside of your life’; they are also, somehow, outside of your body. And, usually, outside of your heart. 

So often there is cost to your well BEing afterwards. There can be intense symptoms felt in the body of this over saturation of activations. There can be undigested traumas that have been pushed up from the lifetimes where this light was called in and then used in an abusive way toward others or yourself. There can be acute frustration for parts of you about WHY the suffering and pain continues in your life even after intense activating experiences…….as if they are in the aftermath of these experiences, rather than being healed and transmuted by them. 

The NEW and NEXT invitation for our Ascension into our sacred humanity is for the focus to be on the digestion of all these activations, not just the seeking out for more of them. It is for us to be aware of how important the INtegration of these light codes IS to our ongoing sense of well being.

Integration happens as LOVE comes in. Love allows for the light to digest into every cell. Love allows for the light to integrate into daily life. Love makes the space for the feeling and healing of the traumas previously in the shadows that also get pushed up by so much light. 

Love comes from the heart and womb of the Feminine and the embracing energy of the Divine Mother. Love is provided by Her compassion, her forgiveness, her NURTURING, her acceptance of wherever you are in your awakening process and journey.

Embodiment (or ‘in-the-body-meant’ as I recently saw it wonderfully called) is about the balance of the light and of the feminine. The balance creates a fireplace so that there isn’t harm as the fire of light sparks up, yet provides place for it to bake into MORE revelations of love. This balance becomes possible as the Protector/Gatekeeper aspects of your soul can be negotiated with to allow more love to come into your BEing. 

Your Gatekeeper aspect may have learned to distrust love in favor of the light even as they resist the light too in some ways. The Gatekeeper may feel that love has been scarce, whereas light has been more bountiful. The feelings of this part of you can often connect very directly to the wound of your mother experience from this life and other lifetimes as well. They connect to the original pain of separation from the Divine during this life and other lifetime incarnations and, therefore, feelings of being ‘kicked out of’ and dispelled from the Divine Feminine womb space.

I wrote more here about healing from the original separation wound from the Divine to return to wholeness: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2019/06/27/healing-from-divine-separation-3d-experience-to-return-to-wholeness/

You may recognize and resonate with what I am offering here as an up/down indigestion experience that you are repeating for yourself in your awakening journey. To cultivate a space from within that can hold and digest and integrate the light WITH love is what we are being invited to BEcome. A balance of the Divine Feminine and Divine masculine aspects of your being that doesn’t sacrifice your well being for enlightenment (even and esp. to serve others).

The Divine wants us to experience this balance, where joy/magic/alchemy are sustaining in EVERY moment for us. And, we are experiencing the increasing sense that we ARE the light of love finding its way home inside every cell of our very human bodies.

Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Gatekeeper aspect, who allows access to other lifetime/timelines and also seems to regulate flow of light/love into your BEing: 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions and group transmissions events with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

Peak Fear: The Uphill Climb Before The Surrender Into Love

by Kalayna Solais

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Divine Father Guided Meditation – DAY 13: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN AND GABRIEL HEARTMAN (VIDEO)

DAY THIRTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Connect With Divine Father Guided Meditation W/Gabriel Heartman

This is day thirteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men and women Gabriel Heartman joins me. We talk about what we feel is the energy of Divine Father as differentiated from the punitive ‘Him God’ of some religions. Gabriel shares about what he feels the pure loving frequencies of Divine Father offer men in their healing journey and Jelelle offers how the inner feminine (in both men and women) and the masculine in women (such as the Gatekeeper) are served by taking in these energies.

In the meditation today, Gabriel leads you on a journey to connect with five faces of the Divine Father. Yeshua opens his heart and arms to us as a brother to embrace you in his unique way. Siddhartha sits in meditation with you, offering a bridge from his Buddha nature to yours. Archangel Michael offers a template of projection that isn’t about battling, yet about being an ambassador of light to the dark. Archangel Metatron provides a wise, funny, and enlightening energy. And, Father Sky connects you to your Lemurian/native roots and connection with Mother Gaia.

Thank you for joining us on this thirteenth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Lemurian, and other precious parts/aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Meet Your Gatekeeper Guided Meditation – DAY 12: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY TWELVE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Meet Your Gatekeeper Guided Meditation

This is day twelve of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, we connect with a fourth dimensional aspect of your Metasoul called the Gatekeeper. The Gatekeeper was an aspect that I became aware of about ten years ago. I’ve become clearer about its mission, woundings, and gifts over the years since then and connecting with hundreds of them.

The Gatekeeper is the keeper of the veil of amnesia and watches over all the timeline portals of your Metasoul. They are often very lonely and isolated in this job and feel disconnected from Divine Source. This is an article offering more about the Gatekeeper: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

In this video, Archangel Michael and Dark Mother join you to go to the Gatekeeper Realm, which is in the lower fourth dimension. You visit the portal cavern (usually) where your Gatekeeper lives. You connect with your Gatekeeper, open up to receive any messages/images from them, and get an overall sense of them. This is a beginning point to a deepening journey with them leading to collaboration, exploration of your Metasoul timelines, and lifting of your veil of amnesia.

Thank you for joining me on this twelfth day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

I will be hosting two group sessions over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum donation per session. These will be on THIS Saturday January 12 and February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Lemurian, and other precious parts/aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of Your Parts/Metasoul Aspects

Note from Jelelle Awen: This is beautiful writing from Devon, who has been in sessions with me for the last few months. She describes wonderfully what it is like to connect with different aspects of yourself (the Inner Punisher and Gatekeeper esp.) and see/feel your world through their lens. You can viscerally feel the energies of these different aspects of her through the sharing of their experience and poetry too. Go here to read more about these parts/Metasoul aspects: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

By Devon Heart Star

As I continue the process of parts work that I have dedicated myself to, during the holiday season, it has become clear that my Inner Punisher needs the most undivided attention and love from me, right now. The Inner Punisher is often a masculine energy and working with this part is similar to Shadow Work. This is not work for the faint of heart and I often want to give up! But my Soul or Higher Self has done so much work with me and continues to support me coming more into Love, that it’s truly impossible to quit.

It’s almost like each part of me has its own pair of glasses it gets to put in front of my eyes, and that is how I experience my 3D life, from the emotional eyes of each of these parts’ feelings, depending upon who’s energy has been pushed up for the most immediate attention. Once I learn about each part and actually get to feel them, giving them space from being fused to me or taking over me, powerful relationships, love, and trust, can begin within, with each of them. And this creates the space for my 4D and 5D and beyond Self to begin to emerge or descend or ascend or settle in. It’s all a very personal experience, yet has a commonality for most people drawn to this work. Eventually, I get to know when I am wearing the glasses that my Heart/Higher Self desires to wear; those of love and vulnerability, and I can continue to practice looking at my various parts with those Heart glasses, offering them the love they are longing for from me.

Back to today’s work with my Inner Punisher, Oscar. In a moment of clarity, when he was feeling safe and loved by me, he showed himself as Oscar the Grouch. I thought it was pretty funny and spot-on, so he took the name Oscar, right about the time I was going to see The Grinch movie. Both of them are green monsters who turned their back on love because of the grief they experienced in not receiving the love they so desired as children. Oscar feels safer being able to retreat into his dark can, where he still believes he deserves to be and is safe from making others angry. When he is in full-swing mode, he is the underlying pair of glasses I don’t even know I’m wearing, the voice within that speaks to me harshly, judges myself and others harshly, at times, although that is just another reason to punish himself, and basically sabotages before we can be sabotaged by someone else.

We have another significant part who seems to offer an escape hatch for Oscar when Oscar feels like his monster-self cannot be loved and the pain of that too much to bear. My Gatekeeper, Jonathan, has had a strong place in my world since my teen years, even though most people do not experience their Gatekeeper until they first really dive deep into parts work. I didn’t know him as the Gatekeeper until parts work, but he was working with me all these years, as I traveled to other dimensions and experienced alternate realities, so to speak. The energies from this would, of course, overwhelm me, physically, but I never could seem to stop them. I am still learning about my relationship with Jonathan and about his connection to Oscar, as he offers him portals and worm holes, and massive amounts of information from other timelines when his emotions become too big for this world. Anyway, Jonathan offered up some wisdom (as he is a most excellent timeless wisdom channel) that I wanted to share:

Forgiveness is a ceremony
Not an act
Self-forgiveness is a ritual
Not just a word
Cultivating forgiveness requires darkness
Diving straight into
the darkest canyons
and depths within
It requires a strength that is so soft
it can tread across
the fires of the Heart
with a willingness to burn up in the attempt
Forgiveness is no small act
You’ll have to face parts of you
that you fear most
who will mirror your courage
in their pleading gaze
You’ll need to bring your biggest light
and that divine part of you
who has no fears
Because cultivating self-forgiveness
creates the bridge
for everyone to come home to love

Thank you, Jonathan!

Everyone can relate to experiencing the Inner Punisher energy and the deep desire to heal within. I’ve learned so much and continue this invaluable process with Jelelle Awen, co-creator of and many other amazing titles at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. You can get one-to-one very full sessions with her or other wonderful facilitators, find out more at soulfullheartwayoflife.com
I love this heart tribe 💜

 

Intense Unsettledness, Unrest, and Uneasiness Feelings Coming UP To Be Felt And Loved

By Jelelle Awen

Intense unsettled feelings….unrest and uneasiness coming up. These are being catalyzed by the 12/12 to 12/22 SOULstice gateway, which feels to be a powerful one. The schumann/Gaia resonance and SOULar winds are spiking right now, along with a comet that came very close to Gaia yesterday. These energies are contributing to the feelings of uneasiness that may already BE in your emotional body. They are often the Inner Protector, who wants to maintain ‘control’ over life in some way and is struggling to trust the Ascension process. Struggling to trust your soul. Struggling to trust YOU as a growing 4D/5D energy.

This can go deeper too….and is for many souls. The deeper feelings that are emerging out of the previous shadow lands of self and soul can be suicidal, crazy making, and deep despair too. These can be SO challenging to hold space for as life itself feels untrustworthy….existence itself, and the Divine and Star Family feel VERY distant or not real.

I feel this SOULstice gateway is also pushing up this deeper layer of feelings as well. Feeling so often like not wanting to be here, in 3D, in this density, stems from your Star Seed child…..who never felt like they belonged here anyway. They feel disconnected from star family with the necessary veil of amnesia coming in so that they cannot remember the visits with them during your lifetime. Or, they ‘remember’ them as traumatic and fearful abduction experiences that remain undigested. Until you can connect with them directly (if your Protector allows it), their feelings of abandonment, loneliness, unworthiness…. can run very deep.

Also, the Protector/Gatekeeper can feel just ‘done’ with the whole process of Awakening….as challenging as it can be in moments to move from SUCH density of 3D polarized reality into the more porous frequencies of soul. Feeling the despairs/frustrations/exhaustion of this parts of you helps them feel supported, starting to collaborate with you, brings in new energy and focus on the ‘mission’ of awakening.

There is more here about parts/Metasoul aspects and how we feel them in our SoulFullHeart process: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

There can be an over focusing on the detoxification of the physical body as connected to these energies….yet I feel them mostly working on the emotional body level (as connected to our soul field too.) The body symptoms are so often manifestations of this deeper trauma that needs to be felt.

So much love is available from the Divine Feminine energies of Mother during this gateway, including a full moon on December 22, to provide a holding and support for all this feeling.

Please do ask for support and receive empowerment during this phase if you feel drawn to what we are offering. We are all available for 1:1 sessions over the holidays too. More information about sessions over zoom and in person in Victoria, BC here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Here is a mediation to connect with your Protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Jelelle Awen is a Parts Work/Metasoul & Galactic Aspects/Sacred Union Teacher & Facilitator, and Ascension Guide. She is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life awakening/healing process and community. She has written four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about galactic activation, bridging and ongoing individual/group sessions over zoom with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators with men and women, videos, books, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

 

Honoring The Courage To Feel: A Gatekeeper’s Journey

Tender tears flow. This is the moment of feeling. Healing. Letting go and letting in. In recent weeks I have been connecting with another layer of my defenses, my protection, in the form of what we call the Gatekeeper. They are the holders and guardians of our soul story and soul pain. I have had several incarnations in my healing process and this latest one has been one that has been like the Wizard of my Oz. He was found in deep resistance to feminine intuition and guidance. It was a subtle energy that was very much closely connected to my waking consciousness. A cognitive dissonance arose in me and I began to feel a bit lost in what was me and what wasn’t.

As I began to commune with this energy more and receive space-holding from Jelelle and reflection from my beloved Kalayna, I could begin to feel a conscious separation that is all part of this work of differentiation. The energy became less unknown and more knowable. More willing to be seen and connected with. I could feel how this aspect of me has been so closely entwined with me most of my life and came out in bits and pieces over the course of my healing.

But this has felt core to me. The themes he has shared with me have been themes that have pervaded my consciousness my whole life. Guilt, shame, cowardice, judgment, rejection, fear, doubt, hopelessness, and even rage. Our Gatekeepers are like sponges that hold this vast arena of our soul in a what appears as a finite container of energy. This provides a huge feeling of burden and responsibility. I have equated it to the image of Atlas in past writings.

He was originally found in a large cavernous space under my castle as a dragon protecting my inner treasure of heart and soul. But this was mostly a projection of defense he has since shown himself to be more human in form as the lifetimes on this planet would have him, and me, accustomed to. We have been in contact daily but he has been a bit elusive due to his own distrust and acclimation in being seen. Today he let me in a bit more to feel the deeper pain of creating a wall to his angelic home.

From his words, he felt how much he had fused to this dimension and assumed the role of responsibility of what happened to my soul, rather than the intended choice of being a guide. The experiences of myriad timelines had shuddered his heart through the volatility of human pain and emotion. He chose a life of hiding and self-sequestering that only acted as a barrier to receive the Love from whence he came. I was guided to play some piano music that has always brought this feeling of missing home into my heart. As I played it, the tears came and the heart opened even if just slightly.

He could feel the waves of love coming from “beyond” yet are very much right here, right now. It has been hard for him to let that in as it means to feel the pain of putting up the walls in the first place. So the tears are bittersweet, but tears nonetheless. They are the process of Love finding the pain and giving it the healing that it wants and needs in order to move on and move up to new frequencies and timelines that offer more ease and joy and less heaviness and difficulty.

It wasn’t a full dam break but a good start to begin to shift something so profoundly core in my life. In my quest for wholeness, self-love, and service of love. The image that I chose below is one that represents my Gatekeeper and his lonely search for Love even when he has resisted it so. It looked as far away as the stars but forgetting is had always been there right there under his feet and in his heart. This is my honoring of him and his courage to keep marching on.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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